Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
The joy Max had experienced after making plans with Carissa dissipated as he considered the logistics of getting out of the house without Lanie learning of those plans. While he and Carissa had agreed to keep things platonic for the time being, it would still seem odd to Lanie that he was having lunch with Carissa on his own. He’d yet to think of a good excuse, and he hoped to avoid the topic entirely by slipping out of the house unnoticed.
Unfortunately, dodging Lanie proved to be more difficult than he’d expected. With it being Saturday, he assumed she would have plans with Nate, but she seemed perfectly content lounging around the house. She’d staked out the living room for the day. When he came downstairs, she already had papers stacked around her and the television tuned to some sappy Hallmark movie.
“What’s all this?” He gestured to the mess.
She pointed at the piles one by one. “Lesson plans. Worksheets. Individualized Education Programs, or IEP, I need to review.” Her eyebrows pulled together as her hand hovered over the last pile. “Papers to grade.” She shrugged. “The work of a teacher never ends.”
“Oh, you don’t have plans with Nate?” He tried to hide his disappointment.
“Not until later.” She cocked her head. “Why? Trying to get rid of me?”
“Of course not,” he retorted, turning to the kitchen. But he stopped and glanced back. “Uh, what time is Nate coming?”
Her eyes narrowed. Wrong question. If he’d hoped to keep her from becoming suspicious, he was off to a bad start.
“I want to make sure he doesn’t block me in,” he said, keeping his voice neutral.
Lanie didn’t appear to buy his lame excuse, but she didn’t press. “Probably not until this evening.”
He went to get a cup of coffee. His plan wasn’t going to work. He needed to leave by noon to pick up Carissa, which meant he would have to sneak out of the house without Lanie seeing or concoct some plausible excuse for where he was going. And he’d have to give up any hope of dressing nicely for the occasion because that would surely raise her suspicions.
He’d have to make do with something he normally wore. He rolled his eyes. Because that was going to be easy. Maybe he should cancel. Carissa would understand.
But he didn’t want to cancel. He’d been looking forward to their lunch all week. Part of him almost wished Lanie had never moved in with him, but he immediately regretted the thought. If she hadn’t moved home, he wasn’t sure he would ever have the chance to make amends with her. Besides, she’d probably be happy he was putting himself out there again were it not for the person he had chosen to spend time with.
After finishing his coffee, he wandered into the garage. If nothing else, he could make some serious progress on the remaining unfinished furniture. With luck, Lanie would finish her school stuff before lunch and vacate the living room. He crossed his fingers.
As he worked, he tried to get into his normal rhythm. Usually, woodworking helped him to clear his head, but that day, he couldn’t seem to concentrate.
Maybe it was because the last time he’d worked on those pieces was before his marriage imploded. Or perhaps it was the fact that autumn always reminded him of Melody because her birthday was in November. Whatever the reason, his mind kept replaying their last argument.
“You need to work on your relationship with Lanie,” she’d said. Despite how much the cancer had already eaten away at her, she still had a fierceness he admired, except when she aimed it at him. They were on the front porch of the house they had once shared. Melody sat in a wicker chair in the corner while Max was perched on the stairs.
“Lanie and I are fine,” he retorted. “You worry too much.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I won’t be around to manage your relationships for you. And one day, you may wake up to find yourself cut off from her life.”
He snorted. “You’re one to talk.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you and Nate talked about the other day. Jesus, Melody, you can’t put a promise like that on that kid.”
Her eyes narrowed. “He’s not a kid. He’s a grown man. And don’t change the subject. We’re talking about your relationship with Lanie, not mine.” Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes as she turned away. “It’s too late for me to fix things.”
“Don’t say that.” He stood, hoping to put an end to the morbid conversation.
“It’s true, and it’s about time you faced it.” She sighed. “Let me say my piece, and then I promise not to bring it up again.”
“Fine.” Leaning against the porch rail, he crossed his arms.
“You’ve always had an easier relationship with Steven. The two of you are a lot alike in many ways.” Her teeth worried her lower lip. “But with Lanie, it’s different. When she was younger, she was such a daddy’s girl. Since she grew up, it’s like you’ve held her at arm’s length.”
“It certainly didn’t help that she went to college on the other side of the country.”
“That was my fault.” She stared at the ground. “I leaned on her after the divorce, and I pushed her to get out of this town. I wanted something better for her.”
He shifted uncomfortably. Melody had told him about forcing Lanie to promise she’d leave Cedar Haven and never look back. When she’d first told him, he hoped she’d learned her lesson and would make amends before… His mind tripped over the words. Then she’d extracted a very different promise from Nate, and Max wondered if she understood the destruction she’d caused.
“If Nate can’t get through to her…” She swallowed. “Then you have to.”
“I thought you liked her current boyfriend.”
“James is a good guy, and there was a time I believed he was perfect for her.” Her eyes misted again. “But I know my daughter, and she’s not happy with him. She’d never admit it, but she stays with him to fulfill her promise to me.”
“I’m not sure she’ll listen to me any more than she would Nate.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I wonder where she got that stubbornness from.”
His lips twitched as he tried not to smile. “’Cause you’re not stubborn at all, right?”
Her answering smile caused his heart to skip a beat, just before a knife twisted in his stomach. They’d lost so much time, and now, she was dying.
“Promise me you’ll fix things with Lanie. She’s going to need you when I’m—” Her voice cracked.
In an instant, he’d knelt beside her and grabbed her hands. “I promise.”
Lanie’s laugh floated out into the garage from the living room, interrupting his thoughts. He stared at the wood shavings peppering the floor. What was he doing out there, hiding from her, when he had such precious time left? The wedding was in less than three months, then she would move in with Nate. Had he done enough to fix things with her? Or would she stop by only for the obligatory get-togethers on major holidays?
He didn’t want to find out. After putting his tools away, he grabbed a broom and swept the garage. As soon as he was finished, he headed into the house.
Lanie sat in the same spot, but she shifted the papers around her. It appeared she’d made a lot of progress. She looked up and smiled as he came into the room.
“How’s the furniture coming?”
“Not bad. I’m still rusty, but I’m getting the hang of it again.” He cleared his throat. “I was going to get some lemonade. Did you want some?”
She blinked, seemingly surprised by his offer. “Um, sure?”
Her reaction grated on him, and he hurried into the kitchen before she saw his face. When he returned with two glasses, she accepted hers and patted the empty spot beside her, which he slid into. For a moment, they sipped their drinks in silence as yet another Hallmark movie started.
“How do you watch these things?” He tilted his glass toward the screen. “Aren’t they basically the same plot?”
She laughed. “Yes and no. It’s the same structure, but the plots and characters are different.” His doubt must have been clear on his face because she shook her head. “Okay, sometimes they run together, even for me.” She glanced at the screen. “But I like predictability. No matter what’s going on in my life, I can watch one of these movies and be guaranteed a happy ending.”
“Sounds boring to me.”
“Besides,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “they’re easy to follow, so I can focus on something else and have it on in the background.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
After draining her glass, she set it on the small table beside the couch. “Are you planning on working in the garage all afternoon?”
He shook his head. “I’m done for the day. Thought I’d come in and see how you were getting on.”
“I’ve got a few more things to do, but I should finish soon.” Her eyes strayed to the papers in her lap, and she picked up her pen.
Normally, he would take that as his cue, but he didn’t want to leave. The whole point of him coming in early was to spend some quality time with her, but he didn’t want to disrupt her work.
“If you want to change the channel, you can.” She nodded toward the remote on the coffee table in front of them.
“Oh, that’s okay. There’s nothing I want to watch.”
Another beat of silence, then she shifted on the couch to face him full-on. “Is something wrong?”
Great. She’d noticed he was acting weird. “No, why?”
“Just… You don’t usually hang out here during the day.” She shuffled her papers. “If I’m in your way, I can go to my room?—”
“No, no, you’re fine.” Why is this so difficult? “I was hoping to spend some time with you.”
Her eyebrows shot up, and he wished he’d found a better way to word it. Ah, well, he’d done it. He took another sip of lemonade to buy himself some time.
“Oh,” she finally said.
Her teeth worried her lower lip, and it pained him to realize how much she looked like her mother when she did that. “I’m not sure I’ll be much company until I finish this stuff.”
“That’s okay.” He peered over at the paper on top of the pile. “So, does the school provide you with a personality profile on every kid?”
She laughed. “You make it sound like the FBI.” Then her face grew serious. “It’s their school record, with report cards, IEPs, and other pertinent information. I don’t have to go through it like I’m doing, but some of these kids were with the last teacher for years. I only spent a little time with them before she left, and I want to make sure I’m meeting their needs.”
“You always were a planner,” he replied with a wry smile.
“I believe I get that from you,” she murmured.
“Me?” He blinked. When have I ever planned anything? “I’m not sure I follow.”
With a sigh, she set aside the pile and faced him. “I suppose it’s not that you’re a planner, but you always seem to try to have a firm grasp on any situation.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Her lips twisted as she appeared to consider his question. “Not exactly bad, but it can be frustrating.”
His heart sank. “In what way?”
“For starters, you always think you know what’s best for everyone. While I’m not saying you’re wrong in every instance, it’s frustrating because when you’re convinced you’re right, you don’t listen to anyone else’s opinion.”
“That’s not true.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it? You were convinced I belonged in Cedar Haven. You practically badgered me into staying.”
“Are you saying I was wrong?”
“No,” she admitted. “But I am saying you went about it the wrong way.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up her hand. “Let me try to put it in a perspective you’ll understand. Ever heard the saying ‘You’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar’?”
He crossed his arms. “In the version I’m familiar with, it’s manure, not vinegar.”
“Of course it is,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, my point is I might have been less resistant to the idea of moving back home if you hadn’t continued to undermine my choice at every turn. For example, perhaps instead of calling my decision a disappointment, you could have simply said you wished I would reconsider but you respected that it was my life to do with as I wished.”
“Would that have convinced you to stay, though?”
“I didn’t need you to convince me to stay, Dad. I needed you to listen to me as an adult and stop treating me like a child.”
He scowled. When have I ever treated her like a child since she’s been home? “I don’t do that.”
Her lips curved in a sad smile. “Not always, but you often seem to underestimate my capabilities.”
The conversation was starting to hit the point where he usually shut it down and left, but something told him he needed to hear what she had to say, regardless of how much it hurt. With a deep breath, he swallowed his retort. “How so?”
A surprised glint lit her hazel eyes. “Take my wedding, for example. You keep offering to pay for things, even though I’ve told you Nate and I have it handled. Then, to back up your offer, you read into any expression that crosses my face.” She raised an eyebrow as if daring him to counter it.
“But you did seem to want that other cake.”
“It’s a lovely design, but I don’t need it.” Her mouth turned down. “Sometimes, it feels like you equate money with true emotional connection.”
Ouch. He ducked his head to hide how much her words had hurt him. Is it wrong to want to provide for your children even when they’re grown?
“I’m sorry,” Lanie said, clearly realizing her statement had cut deeper than she’d intended. “I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
“It’s okay.” He waved a hand and tried to play it off as no big deal, but the words still stung. To give himself a moment to recover, he checked his watch. It was already after eleven. If he had any hope of being on time for lunch, he needed to get ready.
He stood and stretched, ignoring the frown that crossed Lanie’s face. As much as he hated to cut their conversation short, he needed some time to process everything she’d said.
“I’m having lunch with an old friend.” He headed to the stairs. “We can talk more about this later.”
“Okay,” she called, her tone dejected. “Have fun.”
His chest tightened as he climbed the stairs to shower and change. While he’d known fixing things with Lanie wouldn’t be easy, he’d never expected that hearing how she felt would wound him. His mixed-up emotions were only exacerbated by the lie he had just told her. The last thing he wanted to do was cause more issues between them, but he suspected the truth would upset Lanie more.