Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
As color returned to Carissa’s face, a stab of guilt hit Max’s gut. He shouldn’t have forced her to go. He’d known she’d been lying about not being afraid of heights, but he hadn’t imagined her fear ran that deep. Though his hands ached because of how hard she was squeezing them, he never let go, silently pledging to hold on until they were safely on the ground or until Carissa was comfortable, whichever came first.
A moment later, her grip relaxed, and she turned her head the slightest bit. Her eyes widened, taking in the view.
“Wow, you were right. This view is spectacular.”
He smirked. “Told you so.” At her glare, he ducked his head. “Though I wish I hadn’t forced you up here. I had no idea you were that scared.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Her face was still pale, but they’d almost reached the apex of the wheel. Perhaps knowing the ride was about half over was encouraging to her.
They sat in silence, enjoying the breathtaking views. The sun had sunk low over the western shore of the river. It glinted off the buildings and the cars going over the bridge.
Once they were on the ground, the operator stepped forward and helped Carissa exit the gondola. She immediately went to a bench nearby and sat down. Max scrambled out after her.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded, staring at the ground and taking deep breaths. “I also hate flying. Being up in the air is okay, but the takeoff and the landing are my least favorite parts.”
We weren’t going that fast. But he kept the thought to himself. Instead, he offered his hand and helped her up.
“I’ll take you home,” he offered half-heartedly.
Her smile was apologetic. “Yes, please.”
His heart sank, but he reminded himself they had a long ride home. At least she didn’t seem upset at him, just out of sorts and probably nauseated.
“I promise for our next date, there won’t be any heights.”
She glanced at him. “Our next date?”
“Er… outing. Friendly lunch?”
Carissa laughed as she stood, still wobbly on her feet. Taking her hand, Max led her to the truck.
As they drove home, he rested his hand on the gear shift. At some point, Carissa trailed her fingers down his arm until she found his hand and curled her fingers over his. Her skin was warm and soft.
“I had a nice time today.”
He squeezed her hand. “I did too.” Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I meant what I said. I’d like to take you out again and soon.”
From the corner of his eye, he could make out a faint blush tingeing her cheeks. She didn’t immediately respond, and he tried not to let that bother him. Besides, he had a bigger question weighing on his mind.
In his day, it wasn’t necessarily expected to receive a kiss on a first or second date, but times had changed, and he and Carissa weren’t a couple of nervous teenagers finding their way through their first romance. Still, they’d agreed it wasn’t a date, and he didn’t want to pressure her. But the thought of what it would be like, what it would feel like, occupied his mind for the rest of the drive to her house.
When he pulled into her driveway, he put the truck in park and climbed out to open her door. She accepted his hand, and he pulled her to her feet. After tucking her hand into the crook of his arm, he led her to her door.
Then, they stood there, the awkward moment growing until he wondered if he should say goodbye and go. He squared his shoulders and met her gaze, but before he could speak, she lifted her hand and cupped his cheek.
“Thank you for lunch.”
“My pleasure,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.
She leaned forward, closing her eyes, and his heart pounded as he closed the distance between them. He could feel her breath on his face as he moved slowly toward her.
Ping.
The sound of his cell phone made them jump. He removed it from his pocket and rolled his eyes.
“Just Lanie checking up on me.” He gave Carissa a rueful smile. “Guess she’s not used to me being gone so long.”
Instead of laughing, Carissa bit her lip. The mood seemed to shift, and he held his breath.
“Max, I had a wonderful time with you.”
His stomach flipped, and he braced for whatever she was about to say. “But?”
She sighed. “We’re moving into dangerous territory. The apple picking was one thing, though I’m still not sure how Lanie felt about it. Lunch today was wonderful, but we shouldn’t be sneaking around behind Lanie’s back like this. She made it clear she didn’t want you and me to date, and we should respect her wishes.”
“We can certainly slow things down until the wedding is over,” he said, searching her face. “But why can’t we keep seeing each other casually in the meantime?”
“And if she finds out?”
As much as Max wanted to respond with a careless shrug, he knew Carissa wouldn’t buy it. Quite frankly, he was terrified of what would happen if Lanie discovered he’d broken his word. While he and Carissa might tell themselves they were just friends, the fact they’d almost kissed proved Carissa’s point.
At the same time, he was feeling things he’d never expected to feel again after Melody. Her death had taught him how short and precious life was. Despite how much he didn’t want to hurt Lanie, he hated the idea of missing out on whatever was blooming between him and Carissa.
“Maybe she won’t mind now that the wedding is mostly planned,” he said meekly.
She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t believe that’s true any more than I do.”
“What if I promise not to let our relationship interfere with the wedding?”
“You can’t make that kind of a promise.” Lowering her head, she stared at their hands. “And it’s not just about making things awkward with one client. Wedding planning is my livelihood. And if the corporate gig doesn’t work out, I don’t want to do anything that risks my professional reputation.”
“I understand.” For a moment, he wasn’t sure what to say. Emotions warred within him. On the one hand, he didn’t want to cause her any hardship, financial or otherwise. But was it that selfish to want to be happy?
He ran his hand through his hair. “Listen, if you want to take a step back until the wedding’s over, then that’s what we’ll do.” At her growing smile, he held up a hand. “For the record, I don’t like it, but I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize your business or my relationship with my daughter.”
She searched his eyes. “I’m not saying never. Just maybe not now.”
He nodded, though it killed him to do so. It figured that the first time he’d developed feelings for someone since his marriage, it was complicated. Nothing in his life was ever as simple as he wanted it to be.
“So where do we go from here?” he asked, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice.
“We can still text and maybe meet for coffee,” she said. “And of course, we’ll see each other for wedding-related events.”
“What about after?”
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek before unlocking the door. Glancing over her shoulder with a sly smile, she winked. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
As he walked to his truck, his emotions were all over the place. On the one hand, he wished December would hurry up and get there so he and Carissa could give their relationship a real shot. But on the other hand, the sooner the wedding arrived, the sooner Lanie would move away and start her new life. His time with her was running out.
He climbed into the car and stared at his reflection in the rearview mirror. “Keep your head in the game, McAllister. Lanie is the priority. Carissa can wait.”