Chapter 27 Madelina
As I walk through the crowds by myself, with no particular place to go, I notice there are so many young couples this year.
They walk with their fingers intertwined, appearing to be in the honeymoon phase of dating.
I can’t help but lower my gaze to ease the pain, wishing things between Elliot and me were different.
Elliot’s sudden shift in mood during the hot dog competition has left me baffled.
One moment, we’re riding high on the Ferris wheel, his dirty talk leaving me breathless, like I’m the only woman he’ll ever need. Next, his sarcasm is laced with hidden resentment, leaving me questioning everything.
When we’re intimate, things between us are so intense that I can’t get enough. No man I’ve ever been with has made me feel the way Elliot does, not even Myles.
But now, I wonder if that’s all I am to him. Some chick that puts out whenever he wants, and that’s that. I mean, he ended things so easily with Nicole, and supposedly, he was in love with her. And that thought hurts the most.
Maybe, I’m not enough.
Not enough for him to fall in love with.
There are groups of teenagers goofing around, their carefree nature bringing a warm smile to my face as memories come flooding back, as if it were only yesterday that I was their age.
Somehow, time has managed to slip away, and I can’t help but wonder why fear stops us from living the best version of our lives. It’s almost as if we use the excuse “there’s always more time” when, in fact, our time could end at any given moment.
And then what?
We wake up one day and realize we let it all slip away.
My spiral is heading to a whole other level. It reminds me of the time I fell into a Mount Everest rabbit hole and learned all about the death zone. I couldn’t concentrate for days, researching everything I could because I was scared and fascinated by this phenomenon.
I’m trying to find an empty bench since my snug boots are starting to pinch, and tonight’s events have sucked all my energy.
Just ahead near the trailers, I see a vacant one, so I walk over and remove my crossbody purse, about to sit down when I hear a familiar voice call my name.
My heart skips a beat as Myles steps out of one of the colorful trailers.
“Myles?” I exclaim, startled and pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?”
His lips curve upward into a wide, infectious grin as he drops his gaze and takes in my outfit. “Just a bit of work. I had an unexpected catch-up with a family friend whose son is looking for an internship on Broadway. He’s part of the committee running this fair. Killed two birds with one stone.”
I tilt my head, then cross my arms beneath my chest. “What was the other bird?”
“Excuse me?” he asks with a teasing gaze.
“Well,” I continue, raising an eyebrow. “Meeting your friend counts as one bird. What was the other bird?”
Myles rubs his chin thoughtfully, his expression turning coy. “I was hoping to bump into you here. I know how upset you were last year when you missed the fair because of my family’s commitments.”
Myles, remembering how important this fair and this town are to me, brings a smile to my lips. As I lower my gaze, a warmth spreads across my cheeks. When I finally meet his eyes again, they search mine for something we once had.
“You look hot, Maddy. Any chance to dress up, huh?” he teases with a chuckle.
“I do love an excuse to dress in theme,” I reply playfully.
Myles laughs, a rich sound that stirs something deep inside me. “Oh yes, I remember that club opening last year. The theme was the 2000s, and you came as J.Lo.”
“Technically, it was ‘Jenny from the Block,’ ” I correct him with a laugh. “That was such a fun night.”
His eyes narrow in on me. “It doesn’t have to end, Maddy.”
“I know,” I murmur, twisting my hands nervously at the sudden realization that Myles wants more than I can ever give him. I hate admitting the truth, but Elliot is all I want, despite him pushing me away. “But Myles, my heart isn’t—”
Before I can finish, Myles pushes me up against the trailer. His lips crash against mine and the unexpected warmth leaves me momentarily dazed, but it feels all wrong. The second his tongue presses harder, I pull back, my eyes wide in disbelief.
As my chest rises and falls rapidly, a nearby shuffle catches my attention. I turn quickly, but all I see is Elliot’s fist hitting Myles’s jaw.
“Elliot!” I shout, panic engulfing me.
My hands press against his chest to push him away from Myles. Aston intervenes, holding Elliot back. His eyes are wide with this animalistic glare, like he’s ready to tear Myles apart.
I stand anchored in place, shocked by Elliot’s sudden violence toward a man who doesn’t deserve this. Yes, Myles kissed me against my will, but I was going to handle it myself. Elliot didn’t need to step in and create this absolute clusterfuck of a situation.
Now, everyone knows the truth.
The cat is officially out of the bag.
With Aston doing his best to calm Elliot down, I instinctively stretch out a hand to check on Myles, concerned about the swollen jaw from Elliot’s punch. Thankfully, he’s not bleeding, but his wincing indicates he’s in pain.
“I’m sorry, Myles…” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Elliot shouldn’t have punched you. But you shouldn’t have kissed me.
I left you that day because I wanted more.
I love you… loved you, but what I felt, it wasn’t enough to last a lifetime.
I got caught up in the excitement of getting married and I didn’t stop to think about forever. ”
“I think,” Myles grits, his fingers grazing his swollen jaw, “we’re done, Madelina. I’m not going to fight for you if you’re not even going to try to fight for what we had.”
As he turns and walks away, I fight to hold back my tears—not because I’m losing Myles, but because Elliot has jumped to conclusions, convinced that my heart still belongs to Myles. After everything Elliot and I have experienced, his trust is not there.
It only confirms the obvious—this is all about Elliot’s ego.
And there lies the crux of it. There was no I love Madelina, back off. His actions were those of a man whose ego was heavily bruised.
Billie wraps her arm around my shoulders, her warmth a fragile barrier against the storm raging inside me. I continue to stand here, frozen in the moment, with my thoughts scattered and my heart beating so rapidly that it feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest.
Elliot walks away angrily, and Aston follows him, trying to calm him down.
Eva stares vacantly at me, a familiar look that means she’s trying to process something in her head. People who stopped to see the commotion grow bored with the three of us standing in silence.
“Are you and Elliot… I mean, what’s happening?” Eva asks finally, blinking her eyes in confusion. “Did Elliot punch Myles because he’s jealous? I don’t understand what’s going on.”
I feel a tightness in my chest, making every breath laborious. I don’t have enough mental bandwidth to answer her questions. All I want is to get out of here and be left alone.
“It’s probably best…” Billie interjects, her voice steady yet soft, “if we head back home. A long walk might help clear our heads.”
As we step away from the enchanting twinkling lights of the fair, the bittersweet glow fades behind us.
The journey back home feels heavy, each step we take laden with unspoken thoughts. The dark sky, illuminated only by the lampposts, is a welcome change from the overstimulating lights and noise of the fair.
“We don’t have to talk,” Billie proposes, sensing the weight of the night. “Unless you want to, Maddy.”
“How serious is this?” Eva presses, ignoring Billie’s suggestion to keep things quiet.
I let out a resigned sigh, my heart feeling heavier with each moment. “I don’t really know.”
“How can you not know?” she asks, her brows knitting in confusion.
Suddenly, I stop walking, frustration bubbling to the surface. “Did you not see what went down back there? Your brother is spiraling. To answer your question, whatever we had… it’s probably not serious. I was just a chick for him to pass the time with before he’s out of Cinnamon Springs.”
Eva reaches out, her hand brushing against my arm, a gesture of understanding. “I’m so sorry if I seemed insensitive. I was just caught off guard. I’m surprised, but happy if the two of you want to start, or have started, something. I mean, my brother and best friend. It’s perfect, to be honest.”
I slowly tilt my head, eyes wide like a possessed doll in a horror movie.
“What part of what I just said didn’t land?
” I ask, my voice rising in anger. “I’m not enough for Elliot.
So whatever twisted fairy tale you’re imagining of us getting married and having kids, get it out of your head.
It’s obvious after tonight, things are over between us.
” I take a deep breath as my two best friends stand in front of me with pity in their eyes.
“I really want to be alone, okay?” I tell them in a low voice. “Please, just let me be alone, I’m begging you guys.” And with that raw admission, I spin on my heel and begin walking away from them.
My steps speed up to reach home more quickly. As soon as I cast my eyes on the familiar brick building, a wave of relief washes over me.
Inside the confines of the apartment, I purposely keep all the lights off and lie on the sofa in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
My mind spirals in frantic circles, struggling to grasp how I ended up alone instead of in Elliot’s arms. Tonight was supposed to be fun, a carefree outing at one of my favorite events of the year.
How it ended up with Elliot punching Myles in the face continues to baffle me.
The deeper I sink into the stillness of the darkened hours, the more unsettled I become. I reach for my phone where it’s resting on the coffee table, to see that it’s just past three in the morning.
Where the hell did the time go?
Spiraling, that’s where it went.