Chapter Ten Freshman Year
Dear Glory,
That’s too bad about your car breaking down. I’m really bummed you won’t be coming out here, I was really excited to see you. Oh well. I’m sure we’ll meet someday.
I didn’t wear pants under my gown, and I’m glad I didn’t because it was super hot at my graduation.
It was really nice, but it got a little awkward afterwards when we were taking pictures and the wind blew my gown a little too hard.
I’m pretty sure I accidentally mooned half of the senior class.
Oh well. I’ll never see most of them again anyway.
I will admit that the thought of you half naked under your gown was pretty distracting, though.
My sister Brittany is getting married to some guy from Kansas, so we all have to go out to Kansas City next month for the wedding.
I guess it will be a nice trip with all my family before I leave for college.
I know you’re not going on your road trip, but is there anything you want to do in your last summer before college?
Bye,
Collin
July 11, 2011
Dear Collin,
Ha! I didn’t wear pants at my graduation because I was wearing a dress under my gown, but the thought of you accidentally exposing yourself to everyone at your ceremony made me laugh so hard I almost cried.
I’ve been working all summer, which is a first, and I’m exhausted.
The company that does the summer space camp does all sorts of other camps, so I’ve been a counsellor for baseball camp, robot camp, cooking camp, swimming camp, art camp, chess camp, and fairytale camp.
Fairytale camp was a disaster. I’m convinced that all kids that like unicorns are brats.
Space camp isn’t until the end of the summer. Hopefully I don’t quit before then.
How was your sister’s wedding? I’ve never been to a wedding, so I wouldn’t really know what they’re like, but from what I can tell from movies, they’re always super crazy or super glamorous.
I’m working all the time, but if there was one thing I could do before starting college, it would be breaking into my high school and spending the night there.
I don’t even think it would be that fun, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do.
I’d probably get into the art room and make some pottery or something.
Sincerely,
Glory
August 29, 2011
Dear Glory,
You crack me up. I think you’re the only person who would want to break into their high school to make pottery. I would at least swim in the pool or play loud music over the PA system.
My sister’s wedding was nice. It wasn’t very glamorous, but it was pretty crazy.
His family was even bigger than ours, and they were loud, but overall it was a pretty fun time.
It’s just weird that my sister is married.
She’s only five years older than me, so it makes me wonder if in a few years I could be married too.
I just don’t feel ready for all that, for growing up and being an adult and having a bunch of responsibility.
Time just goes by so fast. It’s like one day I’m pulling pranks on people in church and getting picked on at school, and then the next I’m all on my own at college in New York City.
I love college so far, by the way. New York is amazing.
Chicago is a big city, but it always felt like there were a lot of people there because they just ended up there.
New York feels more intentional. People are here because they want to be and they have a purpose.
My classes are interesting enough, but I’m really excited for the more advanced music classes I’ll get to take in a couple years.
My roommate is from El Salvador, and he’s teaching me Spanish while I teach him to play guitar.
A couple nights ago he shared some food with me that he got from home and it was so spicy I thought my head was going to explode.
I was crying because it was so hot and he just sat there and laughed at me.
I guess I can say it was pretty funny now that I can feel my tongue again.
Anyway, how is college going for you? Hope it’s awesome.
Bye,
Collin
September 22, 2011
Dear Collin,
It sounds like you’re having an amazing time in New York. But I agree, I don’t really feel old enough to be in college. Sometimes I feel like I’m still in middle school. And I can’t even imagine getting married. I don’t know if I ever really want to get married.
My roommate is from Georgia and we’ve gotten along pretty well so far, but she’s always inviting guys over.
And then they always end up trying to talk to me and they stay for forever and they’re kind of cute, but really I just want them to go away so I can go to sleep.
It’s kind of annoying. What about you? Do you have girls in your dorm all the time?
What is your dorm like? Are you even living in a dorm?
I kind of feel like college isn’t much different from high school.
There’s still petty drama, people still gravitate toward the same social groups, and they still do really stupid things.
I guess I shouldn’t have expected everyone to be so mature and sophisticated, because we’re only a couple of years older, but I thought at least people would act more like adults.
The only thing that’s really different from high school are the professors.
I have some crazy ones. My English professor came in the first day drinking Vodka, and offered some to us, and then he made us all learn an interpretive dance to introduce Don Quixote. At least it was memorable.
Overall, I like college, and the parts I don’t like I’ll just have to make better.
Sincerely,
Glory
October 19, 2011
Dear Glory,
Your English professor sounds like my History professor. She’s always bringing in huge props and acting out battles and historical events. It got pretty awkward when she reenacted Waterloo with a real bayonet and fake blood.
I do have girls in my dorm pretty often, and I don’t mind it at all.
Mostly they come over to play guitar or sing or listen to music, but we also play games and watch movies.
It seems like girls in college are 10 times hotter than girls in high school.
I don’t know if it’s the independence or just being in New York, but girls never looked so good.
Have you heard of the Occupy Wall Street movement?
I don’t totally get the whole idea of it, but a group of us went down there last weekend to camp out because it sounded like fun.
I wrote some songs about it and walked around playing them for the people there.
It was amazing how much money I made from people who were protesting about wealth inequality.
How are your parents? Do you see them often? I hope that situation is improving.
Bye,
Collin
December 1, 2011
Dear Collin,
I can’t believe you were at Occupy Wall Street, that is so awesome! Talk about having a real world college experience! The most exciting college experience I’ve had so far is getting thrown up on at a football game.
I see my mom pretty often and she says that she’s doing fine, but I can tell that she’s lonely.
She hangs out with my Aunt Sara a lot. I think that’s good for both of them.
I try not to see my dad if I can help it.
He sold our house and he’s getting married to that Sandra lady next summer.
I can’t believe he would get married so soon after the divorce.
He makes me sick. I don’t even want to go to the wedding, but they’re getting married in the Bahamas, so that might be at least a little fun.
I went on a few dates with this guy I met at a Halloween party.
He was dressed like an astronaut, so naturally I was drawn to him.
But he started texting and calling me all the time, like in the middle of the night to tell me about the crazy dreams he had, so I finally had to tell him it wasn’t going to work out.
Do you know what he did? He toilet papered my dorm room door. Just the door. It was so lame.
How about you? Do you just like to stare at all of those hot college girls out in New York or do you actually date them?
Sincerely,
Glory
January 14, 2012
Dear Glory,
I’ve been on some dates, but nothing serious. I’ve discovered that the girls here are hotter, but they’re also crazier. I’ve been cried on, screamed at, tickled within an inch of my life, and spit on. So yeah, the girls here are better from a distance.
I don’t know whether to say congratulations to your dad for getting married or offer my condolences to you for having to suffer through such a weird situation.
You’re clearly not happy about it, so I guess it would be the latter.
It’s bizarre that marriage is supposed to be such a happy event, but it so often makes other people miserable.
We’ve been studying contrary behaviors in my sociology class, it’s fascinating.
Do you know what you’re going to major in yet?
I guess probably something with science or astronomy since that’s always been your thing.
I have to major in music because of the scholarship, which is great, but sometimes I wish I could study Anthropology. Maybe I’ll minor in it.
Anyway, I hope you have more “real world college experiences.” With any luck you’ll have a rat infestation in your dorm or get sexually harassed by one of your professors.
Bye,
Collin
P.S. I was kidding about being sexually harassed. I really hope that doesn’t happen to you.
February 22, 2012
Dear Collin,
I would actually rather get harassed by one of my professors than have a rat infestation.
I know that sounds awful, but I’d prefer it for two reasons.
One, it would prove my point that all men are slime balls (unless it was one of my female professors, that would be interesting), and two, I’ve been taking some Krav Maga classes from this really cute guy in my algebra class, and it would give me a great excuse to try out some of the moves.
But yeah, otherwise, sexual harassment is an awful thing and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
It would serve those sick men right to get a fierce kick in the kidneys.
I would love to major in aerospace engineering, because it would be so exciting to design vehicles used in space, but I think I’ll major in art because my dad says it’s a useless degree and I want to annoy him. Plus, the art programs are a lot easier to get into.
Have you been to any sports events or Broadway shows there?
If I lived in New York City I don’t think I’d be able to sleep because there’d be so many things I’d want to do, like go to all the museums and shows and nightclubs.
We have some nightclubs around here, but they’re full of weird people and smell like cat urine.
Sincerely,
Glory
March 27, 2012
Dear Glory,
So all the nightclubs smell like cat urine, or the people that go to them do?
If it’s the second one, maybe they’re all wearing the same cheap cologne.
I don’t really have a ton of time or money to go do extra stuff here, and there’s plenty going on in my dorm and on campus, but I did go to a Knicks game with some friends a few months ago.
It was awesome to see Madison Square Garden, and I fantasized about playing a concert there one day.
I get that you don’t like your dad very much right now, but you should really major in what you want to. I wouldn’t decide the trajectory of my life on trying to irritate someone. And designing space vehicles sounds awesome.
Last week my roommate bought a new video game, something about war and dragons, and he’s been playing it day and night for days, and I am so tired. I hope he’s not still doing this when we have finals. How have things been with your roommate? Does she keep you up at night?
That’s cool that you’re learning Krav Maga, but it seems a little intense. I wouldn’t want to come across you on the street in the middle of the night.
Bye,
Collin
May 2, 2012
Dear Collin,
I think I’m probably the one who keeps my roommate up all night.
I’ve been reading about SpaceX, they’re preparing to launch to the International Space Station, and I’ve been doing all this research and watching videos and I get so caught up in it that I don’t realize it’s three or four in the morning.
Someday they might even launch civilians into space, which would be incredible.
I might be able to go to space without having to be an astronaut.
I shouldn’t be spending time on this, though. I should be studying for finals.
My roommate has been fine for the most part, except that she makes fried food all the time.
A couple weeks ago she made doughnuts and my clothes smelled like it for days.
It wasn’t the worst way to smell, I just felt a little self conscious about bringing the aroma of stale breakfast into class with me.
Are you going to go back to Chicago for the summer or will you stay in New York? I’m going to stay with my mom in her apartment most of the time. I’m excited about spending time with her, I’ve missed her.
What if you did actually just randomly meet me on the street? What would you do?
Sincerely,
Glory