Chapter Twelve Junior Year
Dear Glory,
That’s cool that you’re dating a guy that likes to cook. Laura seems to make a lot of frozen burritos and Hot Pockets. I guess processed food is kind of her thing. Except when she goes out to eat (which is a lot). Then fish tacos are her thing.
It’s been a year since Laura and I started dating, and it feels like once we hit that milestone, she suddenly became really annoying.
Things that I used to think were cute and quirky really bother me now, like how she uses the word “divine” to describe everything and how she wears a pair of jeans for a month before washing them.
We’ve been talking pretty seriously about marriage over the past few months, and now thinking about it gives me indigestion.
Maybe I’m just having second thoughts. Maybe this is normal.
What do you think? Are you still dating Donovan? Does anything about him annoy you?
Anyway, how are your classes going? A few weeks ago I put together a band with my roommate Logan (the drummer), and we go out and play around Times Square when we can.
Usually the police will tell us we have to play somewhere else, and if the police aren’t there, there’s a handful of regular street performers who edge us out.
There’s this human statue guy who’s pretty vicious, he even threatened us with a knife a couple times.
I guess he probably needs the money more than we do.
But sometimes on a weeknight or when it’s colder we can get a good spot and play for a couple hours.
Hope you’re doing well,
Collin
November 14, 2013
Dear Collin,
I’m sorry you’ve “lost that loving feeling” with Laura.
(Sorry, I watched Top Gun last night. I couldn’t resist.) Maybe you just had a really long honeymoon period and now it’s over.
Maybe you were imagining she was someone else, and now that you know who she really is the magic is gone.
Maybe she’s changed. Maybe you’ve changed.
Or maybe you’re just going through a weird phase and one day you’ll wake up and be madly in love with her again.
Love and relationships make no sense to me.
Like how my dad could love my mom for years and years and have a family with her, and then suddenly love someone else.
So I try not to analyze all that too much.
Things with Donovan are actually great. I mean, he does annoy me sometimes, but we never talk about marriage, so maybe that’s what helps everything be bearable.
If I thought about how I’d have to listen to him sing surfer rock songs every day for the rest of my life, it would probably give me heartburn too.
My classes are okay. The engineering ones are getting more difficult, and I find I enjoy my art classes a lot more.
Speaking of art, I started working at this kitschy place called Monet Cafe.
I get to teach mini art classes while people snack on sub par sandwiches and smoothies.
It’s kind of lame, but I enjoy it, and I’m sure it’s only temporary.
That is so awesome that you’re playing in Times Square, and the fact that you’re defying the police and dudes with knives makes it even more exciting. Could the police actually arrest you or do they just ask you to leave?
Hope you work out your feelings for Laura.
Sincerely,
Glory
February 2, 2014
Dear Glory,
So, I broke up with Laura. It’s something I should have done months ago, but I kept hoping that things would get better.
Last week I took her out to this really nice restaurant, kind of as a last ditch effort, and things were going pretty well until we got our food and she started screaming at the waiter because there was poppyseed in her chicken which she was convinced was going to give her a positive drug test. The waiter let her go on for 15 minutes until he finally informed her it was just pepper.
It was so embarrassing. I let her regroup for a couple days and then I broke up with her.
I expected to feel kind of sad about it, but I just feel numb. So I write a lot of music. That helps.
What kind of surfer rock songs does Donovan sing? Does he bust out the Beach Boys while he’s cooking dinner, or does he just incessantly hum Wipe Out? I like to listen to surfer rock every once in a while, but listening to it all the time would probably make me sick of it.
The cafe you work at actually sounds pretty cool.
I bet something like that would do really well in New York.
As for the police in Times Square, they only really ask us to leave, but they could technically write us a ticket.
If we were really belligerent, they could arrest us, but I don’t see that happening. We’re pretty friendly with them.
Bye,
Collin
March 7, 2014
Dear Collin,
Sorry you had to end things with Laura. It sounds like she was acting pretty crazy, but if she was behaving like that she probably needed help.
Her hormones could have been out of whack or something.
I know sometimes at certain times of the month I can get really moody and irrational, but I don’t usually take it out on service people.
You should have suggested she go to therapy instead of just giving up and dumping her.
Donovan does actually sing the melody to Wipe Out all the time, especially when he’s in the car because he says it makes him feel like a getaway driver.
And he sings Surfer Girl by the Beach Boys to me in the morning, which is ridiculous because I haven’t surfed a day in my life. I guess it’s kind of sweet, though.
Well, I hope you’re writing a bunch of good songs. Hope I get to hear one someday.
Sincerely,
Glory
March 30, 2014
Dear Glory,
I wish you would stop treating me like I’m some douche bag who dumps girls at the first sign of trouble.
Or subtly comparing me to your father. Laura had been acting psycho for months before I ended our relationship.
It was like she used up all her normal behavior for the first year and then unleashed all her pent up insanity on me.
There were dozens of times that I asked her if she wanted to talk about something that had set her off, but she would just get defensive and accuse me of trying to “fix her.” Trust me, asking her to go to therapy would not have gone over well.
One time she spent two hours tearing her apartment apart trying to figure out what smelled like peaches, only to finally remember she had a peach pie in the oven.
Another night she put on an alien mask and went around banging on people’s doors and shooting a fake gun at them because she thought it would be a really funny prank.
Two people called the cops on her, but she came and hid out in my apartment, so they never found her.
There’s only so much crazy a person can take, you know?
Sure, I could have tried a little harder or stayed in it a little longer, but it was so draining, and there was no indication that it was going to get any better.
If the worst thing she did was sing annoying songs in the car, we’d definitely still be together.
Bye,
Collin
April 26, 2014
Dear Collin,
I’m sorry I implied that you were a jerk.
You’re right, I tend to apply my father’s poor choices to all males, and I tend to distrust and see the worst in all of them.
It’s a mindset I need to work on changing, so I’m glad you called me out on it.
And to be honest, I was really hoping that you would make things work with Laura because she made you so happy before.
It was almost like I was reading some sappy romance story and I just wanted you two to overcome your issues and end up together.
Maybe I was living vicariously through you because I’ve never felt the kind of romantic euphoria you described with someone else.
I mean, things are really nice and comfortable with Donovan, but it’s nothing to lose sleep over.
Anyway, now that I’ve shared a piece of my soul with you, how are you doing?
Are you still playing with your band? Are you dating someone new yet?
How are your classes? I’ve been staying pretty busy between my schoolwork and my shifts at the cafe.
The other day I taught a class of first graders on a field trip about how to make art with food.
It was... interesting. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get the raspberry stains out of my uniform.
Anyway, hope your finals go well and that you’re enjoying New York in the spring.
Sincerely,
Glory