Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
“ I ’m sorry,” Nate blurted once they were out of the room and halfway down the hall. He removed his hand from his stomach, not sure his acting skills had done enough to sell the act. But they were out of there, so…success, he guessed.
“No, I should be the one who’s sorry. I ruined the class.”
“I’m pretty sure I was the one who ruined the class.”
Stella laughed so hard it echoed in the hallway. “Did you see the teacher’s face?”
“I did not, but I can only imagine.”
“But thank you for…that.” She laughed again. “I didn’t think being on a stage would affect me like that.”
“What triggers us doesn’t exactly come with warnings.”
“Very true. But now I know that the secret to getting out of tough situations is the prospect of defecating on stage.” They both laughed so hard they had tears in their eyes. “But I’m grateful.”
That was all that mattered.
“I’d do it again.”
“Please don’t.”
“Deal.” They both laughed again as they walked hand in hand down the hall.
“Well, what do we have here?” a voice boomed from behind them. When he turned, he wanted to ask the same thing because…what exactly was he looking at?
“Gram, what are you doing here?” Stella asked, her eyes wide as they bounced from her grandma to each of her friends. They walked down the hall in slow motion, in a formation of sorts, like they were the Avengers assembling for battle. You know, if the Avengers wore one-piece bathing suits with Halloween-themed add-ons.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
No. Definitely not. Nate couldn’t look away from Grandma Millie, standing in front of him in a blaze-orange one-piece that looked like something a hunter might wear—the color, definitely not the style. It looked like she’d taken a black marker to it, scrawling a jack-o-lantern face on the front.
“Well, the resort is starting water aerobics at the indoor pool.” That was Neon Nancy, who always wore bright hues to the gym and apparently wouldn’t be outdone by Grandma Millie’s garb. She wore a lime-green suit and a witch’s hat.
“Yep,” Stella’s grandma continued with a nod. “Josie gave us vouchers to the very first class to add a little…pizzazz to the group.”
“Pizzazz?” Stella questioned.
“Well, she said she wanted us to add numbers to the class, but potato-potahto.”
“That’s…” Stella shook her head, and it was everything she could do to keep from laughing. “That’s not the same. Is this a Halloween-themed class, then?”
Gram raised a brow. “No. Where’d you get that idea?”
“I…don’t know what else to say.”
“Then allow me.” The smirk she wore put Nate on edge—not in a defensive way but in a way that let him know she was up to something. “It’s about time the two of you got together.”
Yep. He was right to be alert. “Uh, we’re not…”
Gram’s eyes tracked down to their intertwined hands, and a smile split her face. “I know what I see. Also, you forget I have eyes in my stomach.”
“Don’t you mean in the back of your head ?” he asked because deflecting was better than addressing the assumption she’d made. Although, was it really that much of an assumption?
“No, pretty boy.” Gram smacked her belly, just above the jack-o-lantern face. “Right here. But class is about to get started, so we better get going. Enjoy your adventure , Stella.”
Nate had no idea what she’d meant by that, but it must have meant something to Stella, judging from the blush that stained her cheeks.
“Bye, Gram.”
They started to move when the older lady grabbed his free arm. “Take care of my granddaughter.”
It wasn’t a threat. More of a statement. An unspoken agreement that he’d do whatever he could to keep this woman safe. And right then, he knew what he had to do.
“Of course,” he said with a nod and then walked to their room.
When she looked back at him with a huge smile, he wondered if it would be the last time he ever saw it.
Nate pulled the door of their shared room shut, locking out any and all interruptions…except for the ones in his head.
Take care of my granddaughter.
The words swirled, picking up speed as they repeated over and over and over until they were a mish-mash of sound he couldn’t ignore. Because even though he’d never hurt anyone when he shifted, if he was truly going to protect Stella, if he was keeping his promise to keep her safe, she deserved to know the truth.
And now there was a swirling in his gut. Maybe the digestive distress hadn’t been a total lie. If she reacted to his news the way she should , this was going to hurt so much worse than when she punched him in the face.
He stilled, his hand on the doorknob of their shared room, asking himself if he was really doing this. If he really could do this.
And then he locked the door.
“I could use some fresh air. How ‘bout you?”
It was like she could sense the tension he carried in every crevice of his body, and she was offering a way to help.
“That sounds really good, actually.”
He followed her across the room, watching as she pulled her hair from her messy bun. Her hair fell in waves down her back, and he itched to run his hands through them. But touching her had always been a distraction, and right now that was the last thing he needed.
She opened the door and stepped out on the balcony, immediately turning to throw her arms around his neck. She squeezed so tight that if he wasn’t having trouble breathing before, he certainly was now. But he didn’t care. That, he could handle.
“What was that for?” he asked when she loosened her grip on him.
“For everything.”
“I…” He shook his head. “I didn’t do much.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” She raised her hand, cupping his face while her thumb lazily stroked back and forth. “You didn’t just help me across an aerial course—you practically carried me. You could have just worn any old costume to Boo at the Zoo, but you went out of your way to match me. You could have just said we’ve gotta go to get us off that yoga stage, but now people are wondering if you’re destroying our bathroom.” Her laugh was watery, like her eyes that shone in the light of the setting sun. “You’ve been there for me, supporting me, showing me what I’ve been missing all along. You’re the best guy I know.”
“No, I’m not.”
He turned to the railing, leaning his elbows on it and pressing down hard because he didn’t trust his arms not to reach out and hold her. To feel her in his sweatshirt she’d slipped over her head on the way out here. To feel her body against his. Because that wasn’t why he’d come here. He looked out over the hillside where the sun had just bade its farewell, splashing a pallet of reds and oranges across the sky. He didn’t need to look behind him to know she was moving closer. The heady vanilla scent filled the air around them as she joined him at the balcony railing and lightly pressed her shoulder to his.
“It’s true. I’ve never met a guy like you.”
Well, she’s got that part right.
He turned his head to her as she peered up through eyes bluer than the sky earlier today.
He watched her swallow whatever she was about to say, taking about a heartbeat too long to break the silence. “I’m glad you’re here with me. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else following me out of that yoga studio.”
She’d wanted him ? Gruff, grumpy, single-syllable-answer him to bring her comfort? “I wasn’t sure. I’m not very good at this.”
“At what? Reading people?”
“At being human.”
He half expected her to chuckle or to maybe even nod in agreement, because he was bad at being human—mostly because he wasn’t one. Maybe she would put the pieces together and realize the truth, that he was a werewolf, something he’d been needing to tell her for a while now.
“Aren’t we all, though…bad at being human?”
Not as bad as he was, but that apparently didn’t matter to her as she wrapped one of her arms around his back and the other across his front, completing the circle and enclosing him in the most comforting hug he’d ever encountered. And when she nestled her head into his chest…
Okay then, this was his cue to stop clutching the railing, but the slight tremble of his hands kept them from making their home around her, which was what he wanted them to do, but this was embarrassing. He’d held her in his arms quite a few times in the past few days, so what was the big deal now? Though, with the way his heart was pounding and how she’d rested her head right on top of his chest, the jig was officially up. He was nervous. And with her curled into him like this, there was no doubt she knew that.
She leaned back and looked up at him. “How do you do it, Nate?”
“Do what?”
“You’ve always been the one person who could see behind the mask I wear. Like you’ve always known what I am feeling before I’m ever ready to admit it. Like you know what I need before I even need it.”
Her voice cracked the tiniest bit, the vulnerability she wore on her face causing a huge split down the middle of his chest. But he had it all wrong. He’d been the one wearing a mask all this time, shielding her—everyone—from who he really was. If she was going to be honest and put everything out there, then he felt an obligation to do the same, even if that meant her never wanting to see him again. Because that was what was going to happen. He couldn’t stick around after this.
“It’s because I’m a werewolf.”
“Is that why you’re so good at yoga?”
Stella chuckled at her own joke, except…he didn’t so much as smile. He’d been joking, hadn’t he?
He grabbed both of her hands in his, softly running his thumbs across the back. “I’m a werewolf, Stella.”
The words pinged around her head like a game of pong, back and forth, back and forth, her eyes darting from his face to his hands and back to his face, waiting for the big Haha! Gotcha! moment.
It never came.
It wasn’t until he had turned and walked to the other side of the balcony that she entertained the idea that maybe he was serious.
So, naturally, she just stood there, saying nothing. She didn’t blink for so long she could have starred in one of those dry eyes commercials. Didn’t speak for so long she was surprised the sun hadn’t risen over the horizon already.
“Okay…” she said, drawing out the word and buying herself a second to navigate this bomb that he’d dropped. She had questions. So many questions she didn’t know where to begin. This wasn’t something she’d read in any of her teen magazines years ago. They focused on things like what to do if your man is cheating , not what to do if your man…isn’t human. “Is that why you’re gone every morning when I wake up? Are you… shifting? ”
“No—well, yeah…it’s complicated.” He turned to face her, running both hands through his hair so roughly she worried he might yank it all out. But if he was a werewolf, wouldn’t it just grow back? Or did it not work that way? Darn her for always reading Lucy’s romance book recommendations and not more paranormal thrillers. There was so much she didn’t understand, and Twilight hadn’t prepped her for this moment at all.
While he paced the length of the balcony with his hands on his head, the muscles in his upper back bulged and moved with the action. And the hands that had once held hers now sported tiny tufts of hair across the knuckles. Wow, had the signs always been so obvious? They’d worked together for over a year now, and she’d never suspected a thing.
“Okay, well…how can I help you right now?”
His head snapped in her direction, and his jaw hung open as though the cord cinching it tightly moments ago was severed. “Help me?” His eyes narrowed with the slow shake of his head. “You want to help me?”
“Yes,” she answered with a firm nod to sell the response. She didn’t know a lot of what was going on right now, but she did know one thing: Nate had been there so much for her in the past year, especially lately, so she was going to be there for him…whatever that looked like. “Why wouldn’t I?”
His throat bobbed slowly, and she was pretty sure there was a sheen of moisture covering his eyes and sparkling in the moonlight. This had obviously been a big revelation for him, and she wanted to help him through it, to be the rock that he had been for her so many times before. Though, by comparison, she was more akin to a pebble, but that was better than nothing, right? “The last thing you should want to do is help me.”
“Well, it’s not.” Without the consent of her brain, her feet took a couple tentative steps in her direction. And when he didn’t back away, she closed the space between them a little more. “How many times have you helped me? It’s honestly the least I can do.”
“Except, helping you didn’t put my life at risk.”
“Are you sure about that?” she asked as she cocked a brow. “I mean, I vividly remember nearly climbing you like a tree on that aerial course, which could have ended very badly for both of us.” She’d meant for it to be a joke, but the intensity of his stare only strengthened.
“Not for you. I would have never let anything happen to you.”
“I believe you. And that’s how I know you’d never hurt me now.” She reached for his hand, noticing the dusting of hair had disappeared. “Or ever.”
Their eyes connected, his tugging something deep inside her, something that sent warmth throughout her chest.
And then came a blast of cold air.
“You don’t know that.” He jerked his hand away, breaking whatever spell had fallen over them. “You’d do well to stay away from me.”
“And see, that’s our biggest problem here.”
“Bigger than me being a monster?”
She shook her head. “Well, the first issue is to get you to quit calling yourself a monster.
“But I?—”
“Nope,” she said, putting a finger to his lips that did their job of shutting him up but also made every fiber of her body stand at attention and shout, Yes, we like this! at the tops of their lungs. It was all very distracting, especially when his hand came up and he wrapped his fingers around her wrist.
“I don’t wanna hear the monster word again. But the other issue,” she continued, her finger still pressed to his lips, “is that I don’t want to stay away from you. Because all along, you’ve been telling me to be myself, to stop hiding my dreams, my feelings. But what about you?”
He released her wrist, and she missed the warmth immediately. “What about me?” He tossed his arms out to the side. “How can you even compare us, Stella? You’re light, beauty, and goodness. You radiate positivity and joy in a way I could only ever dream of. You give, and you give, and you give, and people are better for having known you because of it. And I…”
“You what?”
His broad chest rose and fell with an enormous breath as a weak, pensive smile tugged at his mouth. “Watching you be yourself has made me feel alive in a way I never knew. But me being myself…it could kill you.”
“But not tonight.”
His brows furrowed, like that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. Honestly, she wasn’t sure where the thought had come from, herself. But hearing him talk like that, like she’d meant something to him in that way, turned something in her. Something that had her wanting to grab his face and kiss him senseless because that was the only way she could express what she was feeling right now. Words? What were words, anyway?
“What do you mean, not tonight ?”
“Tonight, you’re not a werewolf. You’re Nate.”
“They’re one in the same, I’m afraid.”
“Tonight, you’re Nate—my friend. No, that’s not right. You’re a man I’m…”
“Don’t say it.”
“A man I’m falling for.”
His head fell back as he exhaled slowly, and his fists were balled tighter than the twine of a baseball. And oh boy, was this a mistake.
“On second thought,” she rushed out as she planned a getaway that would have been much easier if his large frame hadn’t been blocking the door back to their room. The only way off this balcony was over it, and as much as she’d been enjoying the bootcamp classes she’d been taking at the gym, she wasn’t sure she had the upper-body strength to pull a Spiderman and scale the side of the building to make it to the ground without breaking her neck.
She stepped away, desperate to put some space between them, and she’d almost made it a full six inches before his hand shot out and grabbed her arm.
“Stella, wait.”
He stared at her, his rounded eyes contributing greatly to the pained expression he wore. Or was it pity? She wasn’t sure anymore because she was pretty sure she’d just poured out quite a bit of her heart to this man, and it’d dried up faster than a drop of water in the desert. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to make me feel better or anything. I’ll just?—”
“Make you feel better? Did you think—? Do you not know?”
Honestly, at this point, there wasn’t much she was sure of. But she gave him a second to get his thoughts in order because she didn’t have anything to say at the moment. She was still recovering from the last thing she’d blurted.
“Stells,” he said as he tugged her so slightly she shouldn’t have moved. But it was his fault. His dark eyes, his intoxicating woodsy scent…they made her legs wobbly enough to throw her completely off kilter and into his chest. And when his arms slowly grazed her hips before making their way around her waist, she wondered if this was why so many animals hibernated all winter. Because once you found a place as cozy and inviting as his chest, why leave?
“Stella, this never felt fake to me. Not from the beginning. There was no way it ever could have. Not when my heart started doing wonky things ever since the day I first walked into the salon.”
Beep! Beep! Beep! Back this truck up, because did he just say he was feeling things from the first time he’d seen her?
“Interviews get ya nervous, do they?”
“Something like that.”
She leaned back just in time to see his mouth curve into the biggest smile she’d seen from him since they’d stepped onto the balcony, and she was so glad to be the one who put it there.
“They have that effect on people.”
“You really do, Stells. There’s not a day that I haven’t wondered what it would be like to be right here, just like this, in your arms. And let me tell you, my imagination did you the biggest disservice of the century. Do you know how many times I’ve fallen asleep and dreamed of kissing you like you deserve? And then when we got the chance…”
“What?”
He shook his head, like it pained him to finish the thought. “It was better than I’d ever imagined. And that’s when I knew…I could fall for you. I was falling for you. And right then, I should have told you all of this. But it seems like you weren’t the only one hiding behind a mask.” He traced a line on the concrete balcony with the toe of his boot. “I know this is a lot. And I know it was the last thing you were expecting. So, I’m going to give you some space.”
“I don’t need?—”
“It’s only fair, Stella. I’ve done a lot wrong, starting all this with you. Let me at least do this one thing right.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay. But I’m not going to change my mind.”
He wanted to believe her. The pleading in her voice should have been enough. But he’d heard those words before, and he knew how that had ended. He wished he hadn’t thought of that because Stella was nothing like Carrie. Except, that wasn’t true—they were both humans.
And he wasn’t.