When He’s Gone

Chapter 1

ONE

TATIYONNA COLE-MCGHEE

“What you gon’ do?” My best friend, Casi asked, looking over at me.

The rain was beating on my windshield as I watched my husband carry a baby carrier in the house and run back to the car with the same umbrella to help a bitch out of the truck.

Casi wasn’t going to let me sit and sulk.

I should’ve listened to my first mind and done this alone.

I waited for him to walk into the house before I unfastened my seatbelt and just sat there for a few minutes getting my thoughts together.

“Do you have a plan?” Casi asked.

“Do I ever have a plan, bitch? No! Now get in the driver’s seat. If I don’t come back, call my daddy.”

“Oh Lord! If I got to call him, then that means your ass is in trouble.”

I exited the car, and the rain instantly made my hair stick to my face.

I made my way up to his truck just to confirm my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

The same truck I surprised him with a few months ago for his promotion.

He talked about the truck for months, saying he needed more room, and his other car had gotten too small to lug all his blueprints with him.

Not knowing he was making room for his new family.

It’s been seventy days since he last had sex with me.

Now I knew why. Patting my pockets, I made sure I had his spare key.

My first thought was to just get in, pull off, and make him think someone stole it.

That was too damn easy. I wanted him to know he was caught.

I was wrong. I knew deep down I was wrong for walking my ass up to this woman’s door, but fuck it.

I raised my finger to hit the doorbell. I’m sure he had this ring camera set up for a reason.

I made sure to turn my back to the camera.

This time of night, I was certain he was going to answer the door.

I could hear a woman’s voice coming down the stairs.

To my surprise, there was no Kileen at the door.

Instead, it was a woman that reminded me of my younger self.

She wore her hair like me. Same piercings, same skin complexion, same almond eyes. She even dressed like me.

Everything was running through my mind. I could see my hands wrapped around her neck and her life slipping from her as I watched.

Then a thought of just beating her ass crossed my mind.

Then my mature side pushed through, reminding me that this shit wasn’t her fault and I had too much to lose.

This was all on him. I pushed her to the side and stepped inside the house.

Not only did she look like me, but he had her house decorated the same way as ours, except for a different color scheme.

I didn’t know who was obsessed, him or her.

“Excuse me, who are you?” She asked in a soft-spoken voice.

Poor thing was young and had no idea the shit she got herself into. Kileen was very protective, so it shocked me that he hadn’t made it downstairs yet.

“My name is Tatiyanna. What’s yours?” I asked as I walked around the house, making my way into their kitchen.

“Siya.”

The sonogram and maternity pictures on the refrigerator let me know this nigga was in love.

“Can you please stop roaming around my home and tell me who you are?” She begged.

I stopped before placing my foot on the first step. “I’m Kileen’s wife,” I said before walking up the steps to find his trifling ass.

I didn’t even want to cause a scene and call his name out.

I wanted to see his fucking face when he saw me.

Siya was now on my heels. My first stop was the nursery, but he wasn’t there with the baby.

Siya stopped me before I could make it to the crib.

I would never stoop that low and harm their baby.

I just wanted to lay my eyes on the baby.

You know, look at what my husband made. My next stop was where a light was on, which was the master bedroom.

“Baby, I forgot to tell you I needed to run off real quick. I meant to do it while we were out, but it slipped my mind. I won’t be—” Kileen stopped talking as we entered the room.

“So, you showered and was going to head home to me?” I asked, looking at the color drain from his face.

His bottom half was wrapped in a towel. His gold rope chain with his old football number on it hung right between his breastplate. His caramel skin was wet, and I could smell his body wash throughout the room. My eyes roamed to his finger that was missing his wedding ring.

“Tati, ba…baby, what are you doing here?”

“Nah, why are you standing half naked in another bitch house? Whose baby is that, Kileen?”

“That’s our baby. And please refrain from calling me a bitch,” Siya chimed in.

“Siya, stay out of this,” Kileen warned, but it was too late.

Before I knew it, I was in her face. “Bitch, I was trying to keep you out of this shit, but don’t open your fucking mouth again. I’m trying to be somewhat of a lady in this situation. So, in the meantime, let me get my aggression out, which may result in you being a few bitches.”

“Tati, let’s talk about this in private,” Kileen pleaded.

“Private, where nigga? Private is what got you here. Let’s talk now. ‘Cause you still hadn’t answered my questions.”

“It’s my baby.” He hung his head.

“Okay, and who the fuck is she?” I pointed at Siya.

He looked at her and back at me. I shifted my weight, waiting for an answer. An answer he didn’t have. Rage filled my body as I rushed him and started trying to beat the shit out of him, knowing I couldn’t. It didn’t last long before he bear hugged me and carried me all the way downstairs.

“Tati, I really need you to calm down and act like you got a lot to lose.”

“Let me the fuck go! A lot to lose? I’m going to teach you what it is to lose. Move.” I pushed him out of the way and marched out of the house into the rain.

Casi was already pulled up in front of the house, so I didn’t have far to walk. I was sweating and breathing hard by the time she pulled away from the curb.

“Don’t get in the car on the Evette shit from Baby Boy,” Casi joked.

“Bitch, I wish the fuck I would cry. Fuck him! The only thing I’m hurt about is loving him and not getting that same love back. It’s his loss, not mine.”

Two days went by before Kileen decided to show his face.

By then, I had calmed down, but not enough to not have his things packed.

The only thing that stopped me from taking them over to his bitch house was the nigga had checked into a hotel.

As much as I begged him to share his location with me, he would always tell me no.

To my surprise, I got the notification a few hours after finding out about his secret.

Shit, it was too late for him to share his location now.

“Can we talk?” He approached as I was cutting up my asparagus.

“Don’t come near me,” I pointed the knife at him. “All your stuff is in the garage for you to grab, and I need you to leave the key.”

“I ain’t leaving shit. This is our home. We built this together.”

I stared at him as he tried to inch closer. He was standing here telling me all the things I already knew. How we’ve been together since we were kids. How much he loved me, and he made a mistake.

“Kil, don’t try to gaslight me. I know what we built, but you must’ve forgotten. I was here, and all the while you were building somewhere else. As I said earlier, your stuff is in the garage. Nothing is left here for you to come back and get.”

“You’re here.” He grabbed my hand and forced the knife out of it.

My heart was broken. The thought of starting over without him was frightening, but there were some things I couldn’t take, and a baby was one of them.

Especially when I couldn’t have my own, and he told me it was okay.

It was two things my daddy told me I couldn’t compete with- a baby and another nigga that’s sucking your nigga dick.

Thankfully, I was only dealing with one.

“Tati, I fucked up, and I promise if you help me through this, I’ll be a better man than I’ve ever been to you.”

It was always a nigga needing a woman to help him through some shit he caused.

Why couldn’t he be man enough to fight his desires?

Now he needed my help. The tears welled up in my eyes.

Kileen lifted my chin so I could look at him.

The love that I once saw in his eyes was not there.

He didn’t even look the same to me. There was a time when I would melt for him.

Today, I couldn’t stand to be in his presence knowing he was just showering at another woman’s house while their baby slept a few feet away. I snatched away from him.

“I need you to leave or I’ll be forced to get my daddy involved, and I’m trying to keep him out of our business.”

“Damn, Tati, why you got to go that low? What do I have to do? Go to counseling? I don’t even want that girl. We fucked around, and she got pregnant. I didn’t want to leave her abandoned.”

“But it was okay to leave me abandoned? You sound dumb as fuck, Kil. Please get the fuck out!”

Then the thought of her house being like my house. The way she dressed was like I dressed, and I got mad all over again. So mad that I slapped the shit out of Kileen.

“You went and found a younger me. She’s your type, and you definitely want her. You wanted her enough that you fucked her raw. How many times?”

Before I could slap him again, he grabbed me and slammed my back against the refrigerator.

“This is what we’re doing? Hitting on each other?”

“Move.” I tried to push him off.

Kileen played football in college and his physique hadn’t changed. He still worked out religiously and ate healthy.

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to leave and give you some space.

But as far as you and I go, we’re not done.

You’re my wife, and I’m going to fight until the death of me to prove to you that it was an honest mistake.

And no, I don’t give a fuck if you get your daddy involved.

I love you and only you.” He kissed me on my forehead and left.