Extract From Notebook 4
I was waiting when you left the office tonight, Nell. I stood on the other side of the road and watched as you turned to lock the door behind you.
The first thing I noticed was that you’d swapped the usual sneakers you wear for work for a pair of heels.
As you lifted your arms above your head to fix the strap of your workbag across your body, your navy raincoat lifted slightly and I caught a glimpse of red.
And the savage hate I felt for you doubled, then tripled, because if there’s one thing you don’t deserve, it’s to feel happy and confident.
I followed you all the way to the restaurant and watched through the window as you were led to your table, where you took your coat off and handed it to the waiter, revealing a smart red dress underneath.
As you sat down, your back to the window, I was able to see that your hair was a little shorter than the last time I saw you, which meant that you’d been to the hairdresser.
I like that about you, I like that you take care of your appearance, and that even when you’re wearing jeans and sneakers, you somehow manage to look classy.
Not that it changes anything. It won’t matter whether you’re wearing a Chanel suit or a bin bag when I kill you.