Extract From Notebook 4

I remember the day when I allowed you to be aware of me for the first time, Nell.

It was on a Tuesday, and you were on your way to the bus stop after work.

I made sure to get close to you, not so close that you could feel my breath on the back of your neck but close enough that I could smell your perfume.

Aware of me behind you, you momentarily checked your pace and our bodies almost collided.

I stepped around you and melted into the crowd and you probably wouldn’t have thought any more about it had I not doubled back and walked behind you again.

I could see from your body language that you knew I was there; your shoulders tensed and you began to quicken your pace, so I did too.

I imagined your eyes darting from side to side, hoping I would pass you by and when I didn’t, you quickly spun on your heels.

But the slight hesitation before you turned gave you away and by the time you were facing where I had been only seconds before, I was no longer there.

The following day, I spent some time in a department store, smelling different perfumes until I found the one you had been wearing.

It was Acqua di Giòia Profumo by Armani.

That’s your perfume for the daytime. In the evening, you wear a different one.

It must be bespoke because I’ve never been able to find it.

Not that it matters. We’ll hardly be discussing our favorite perfumes when I kill you.

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