Extract From Notebook 4
I have to say that you continue to surprise me, Nell. If I wasn’t who I am, if I wasn’t what I am, if I was just an ordinary person, I might have been frightened by the sight of you standing at the window the other night with a knife in your hand.
It delighted me that you knew I was there, though it would have been impossible for you to see me dressed as I was, head to toe in black with only a minimal slit in my balaclava for my eyes.
It means you’re so attuned to my presence that you can sense me, even when there’re a couple of brick walls between us.
And that makes it so much more interesting.
But still, I need to bring it to an end.
I never intended it to go on for so long.
I was waiting for you to be so frightened by the thought of me that you would crack.
I wanted to see you disintegrate before I finally killed you.
But that hasn’t happened and although I hate to admit it, I kind of admire your ability to function when deep down, you must be terrified at what you know is coming, and sooner than you think.
Christmas is a time of happiness and goodwill to all men. But it’s something I won’t be considering when I kill you.