Epilogue
Asher
Five Months Later
“ D o we really need that many cookies?”
I glance over at Julie as she pads barefoot into the kitchen and takes a seat at the kitchen island. She’s gorgeous, her hair loose, her face freshly washed, and with tiny sleep short clad legs that I’d like to wind around my waist right here in the kitchen.
“Are you doubting my baking prowess?” I ask, as I slide the latte I made for her across the island, picking up her left hand and running my thumb over the diamond on her ring finger. We got engaged a week after my retirement press conference. I bought the ring a few days after I made the decision to retire and was just waiting for the right moment. When a freak March snowstorm blew through the week after the press conference, I took it as a sign and proposed right here in the back yard in the middle of the storm. After I slid the ring on her finger and kissed the breath out of her, we collapsed back into the snow and laid there, holding hands, watching the snow fall from the darkened sky. It was just the two of us and a perfect snowfall, and it was the best moment of my entire life.
She smiles gratefully, taking the first sip. “I mean, no? I’m just wondering if twelve dozen cookies might be too many cookies considering it’s just our friends and family coming over.”
I sigh dramatically, mainly for effect. “We’ve been over this, Juliette. We need everyone’s favorites. Hansley family tradition. And since all the Hansleys are coming over today, it had to be done.”
She smiles. “I know. I’m just fucking with you. I love when you make all the cookies. You look super hot all busy in the kitchen.”
“Hot, huh? Tell me more.” I saunter around the island until I’m crowded up between Julie’s legs. I slide my hands into her hair and tip her head up, taking her mouth in the kind of kiss that belongs in a dark bedroom and not a bright kitchen at seven thirty in the morning with the sun streaming through the windows. But I can’t help myself. I never can around her.
“That’s a hell of a way to start a morning,” Julie says, a little breathlessly, when we pull apart.
“The best way.” I wink at her and walk back around the island to grab the last tray of cookies from the oven.
“So, we’re all set for today,” she says, leaning her elbows on the island and propping her chin on her hands. “The food is coming at ten, and I told everyone to be here at ten thirty. Charlie already texted and told me they might be a little early because the girls woke them up at five and she is, and I quote, “so over parenting and ready to dump the kids on us and have a mimosa.”
I laugh, knowing that I’m about to spend at least a part of the morning in the pool entertaining kids while Charlie drapes herself over a lounge chair with a drink in her hand. She’s a whole entire mood.
“Works for me. It’ll be good practice.”
“Practice for what?”
“For when we have our own. I’m thinking at least four, with the option for five.”
Julie narrows her eyes at me. “Two, with the option for three.”
I scoff at her. “Two isn’t enough. Can’t play a good football game with just two kids.”
“Here’s a thought. What if your kids don’t want to play football? What if they want to, I don’t know, dance. Or do art. Or sit on the couch and read a book.”
“They’ll want to play football. It’ll be in their genes.”
“I don’t think you understand how genetics works.”
“You know what? I don’t really care how many of them we have or what activities they like. They’ll be awesome no matter what.”
“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”
“Because you’ll be their mom.”
Her breath stutters out at that, and I watch her eyes get misty. I round the island again and pull her up from her stool, wrapping myself around her. When I feel her arms go around my waist, I am one hundred percent sure no one in the world has ever felt as happy as I feel right now. It’s just not possible.
“I love you, Juliette. You are my whole entire world.”
“I love you too, Ash. It’s a good life we’re making here.”
“The best.”
I kiss the top of her head, closing my eyes and breathing in her honey vanilla scent, thanking whatever god is listening for bringing this woman into my life. For giving us to each other to love.
When we break apart, we look at each other for a beat, and twin grins spread across our faces. I know what she’s thinking, and I’m thinking the same.
“I should go get dressed,” she says, taking a step away. I pull her back for one last kiss before releasing her. She walks towards the stairs while I start putting the now cooled cookies onto the platters I have waiting. She pauses for a minute, like she always does, when she passes the gallery wall of pictures from our road trip. When she moved in, the first thing she did was go through our shared album and choose pictures to frame and hang. I don’t even know if she realizes she does it, but I love seeing the soft smile that always takes over her face when she looks at the memories of the two weeks that changed both of our lives.
“Hey, Juliette?” I call as she turns away from the wall and heads up the stairs.
She turns back. “Yeah, Hot Shot?”
“You ready?”
“I’m so ready.” She flashes me a bright smile and disappears up the stairs.
Julie
The backyard is full of people. Kids splash in the pool, Asher is chatting with the guys, my parents and Asher’s parents are sitting around a table laughing together, and I’m crowded around the buffet table with Hallie, Emma, Molly, and Allie. Tonight is the Kids Play gala, and Asher is giving a big speech detailing all the progress they have made on the sports camps since the foundation kicked off the capital campaign at last year’s gala. His whole family is in town, so we invited everyone over for a pre-gala brunch.
“Jules, this taco bar fucking rocks,” Molly says, a plate of tacos in one hand and her second margarita in the other.
“Seriously. You guys really outdid yourself on the food.” Allie studies the platters laid out on the buffet and grabs a chicken taco, taking a huge bite. “This is amazing.”
“I’m more impressed by the cookie table. There must be like, eight dozen cookies,” Hallie says, peering over at the impressively decorated cookie buffet with Asher’s meticulously labeled signs.
“Twelve,” I mumble, my mouth full.
“And he made them all?” Emma looks incredulous.
I swallow my last bite, taking a sip of my drink before answering. “He needed to make everyone’s favorite. It’s a whole Hansley thing.”
“Well, it’s a thing I can get behind,” Hallie says. “Can steal some to take home later?”
“Ask Asher. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”
“Ask Asher what?” The man in question comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning down to kiss my neck.
“Hallie wants a doggie bag of cookies for the road.”
“It would be my greatest pleasure.”
“Asher Hansley, I’ve always liked you.”
He winks at her. “Everyone likes me, Hal. It’s a gift. Okay if I steal my girl away for a few minutes?”
I thought I would be nervous when it was time, but nerves are the last thing I feel. Instead, I feel a shimmer of excitement, knowing what’s about to happen.
“Go for it,” Molly says. “We were finished with her anyway.”
I stick my tongue out at her as Asher leads me towards the center of the yard. On the way, I catch Ben’s eye and nod to him. He breaks away from Jeremy and Jordan and makes his way towards Asher and me.
“Hey, can I have everyone’s attention for a minute?” The backyard quiets as everyone turns at the sound of Asher’s voice.
“Thanks so much for coming. We really appreciate you all being here.” Asher takes my hand and smiles down at me and my heart speeds up, electricity sparking in my veins. “Okay, so we kept the real reason behind this little get together a secret mainly because I love a surprise. And even though my girl here does not love a surprise, she loves me, so she went with it. The reason you’re all here is that we’re getting married. Today.”
The backyard is completely silent for a minute before everyone starts talking at once, shouting out questions so fast I can’t grab hold of any of them. I glance over at Asher, and he’s grinning at me. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his side, pressing a kiss to my temple.
“Told you this would be fun.”
The truth is, it is a little fun. After we got engaged, I started thinking about wedding planning, and it took about ten minutes for my anxiety to spike at the thought of the perfect dress and the perfect food and hair and makeup and having everyone’s eyes on me. When Asher saw what was going on, he sat me down and asked me what I really wanted. Not what I thought everyone expected, but what I really, truly wanted. One of the things I’ve been talking to my therapist a lot about over the last few months is making sure that when I do something, it’s because I want to do it, and not because I think it will look good, or because it’s what I think people will expect of me. And when I thought about it, I realized all I wanted was to be married to Asher. I didn’t care about the wedding at all. In fact, all it did was stress me out and suck the joy right out of being engaged and starting this life together .
So, we concocted this plan to get married in our backyard, surrounded by our family and closest friends, wearing absolutely nothing special, and not to tell anyone about it until the day of. And we picked the day of the gala because it’s the one-year anniversary of the day we first met, and we both liked that symbolism of getting married on this day and then going to dance at the gala. The Julie of a year ago would never have imagined getting married this way, but I like the person I am now. The person I found when I opened myself up to Asher and let him see all of me.
“I guess you were kind of right.”
“Juliette, you are so sexy when you tell me I’m right.”
I laugh a little, leaning further into Asher, feeling his arm wrap more tightly around me. I watch as his sisters grab their kids from the pool and bundle them into towels, and laugh again at the visual of us getting married surrounded by kids in bathing suits and my best friends half drunk on margaritas.
“You okay?” Asher asks me quietly.
I kiss his cheek and lean my head on his shoulder. “I’m perfect.”
The backyard quiets and everyone forms a semi-circle around us. When I glance around, a bubble of emotion rises in my chest seeing everyone I love the most in one place, and I know with a bone deep certainty that no perfect dress or immaculately catered wedding would beat this moment, right now.
“You guys ready?” Ben asks from his place next to us. When I said we didn’t tell anyone, what I meant was we didn’t tell anyone except for Ben. I let him in on the secret a few days ago, because we asked him to marry us.
Asher faces me and takes both of my hands. When our eyes meet, he winks, and every part of me lights right up .
“I was ready a year ago. Took Juliette here awhile to catch up, but she’s here now.”
I sure am .
Ben grins at that. “She always has been a meticulous decision maker.”
I scowl at him. “Don’t you have a job to do?”
“Only my children would find a way to fight at my daughter’s surprise wedding. That’s happening now. That no one told me about.” My mom narrows her eyes at me, and both Asher and I burst out laughing.
“Told you she would hate being out of the loop,” he says.
“It’s good for her. Keeps her honest. Can we get this show on the road?”
Ben pulls me into a side hug, whispering in my ear, “Love you. I’m proud of you, Jules.”
My eyes burn with tears at that. And when I glance around, I see my friends and Asher’s sisters with huge grins and misty eyes. It should be illegal to be this happy.
“Okay,” Ben says, stepping back. “I’m going to skip the ‘we are gathered here today’ and all that because I literally got ordained on the internet three days ago. I’m so happy for you guys. I love you so much, and I’m glad that you found each other. You are the best people I know, and you deserve all the happiness in the world. I know you both have things you want to say to each other, so have at it.”
“Talk to me, Juliette.” Asher squeezes my hands in encouragement. I told him last night that I was nervous about spilling all my feelings in front of everyone and all he said was, just talk to me . Butterflies swarm my stomach at his reminder. There is no better man on the planet than him.
“I used to think no one would ever see all of me and want to stick around. I didn’t feel safe enough to show anyone the parts of myself I thought were broken. I was getting through every day, but I wasn’t really living, I don’t think. But then I met you, and I didn’t have to show you anything, because you just saw every part of me right from the first dance. You took me on a road trip and showed me what it was like to live. You brought me happiness and joy and so much fun. You did carpool karaoke to Taylor Swift and made me howl with wolves, and you took me to see a sixteen-foot taco and laughed when I beat you at skee-ball six times in a row. You exploded my world, and if I had to make one wish, it would be for more of this. More of you and me and this life that we are building together right here in this house. I love you, Asher. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and every day, I’m grateful that you’re mine, and that I get to be yours.”
My voice breaks on the last word, and I lose it a little, a tear slipping out and rolling down my cheek. Asher reaches up, his hand cupping my face as his thumb swipes away the tear. His own eyes are glassy as he starts to talk, his hand never leaving my face.
“Juliette, you are my favorite everything. You knocked the breath from my lungs the first time I saw you. I only had to hear your voice to start falling for you, and I have fallen more every single day since then. I want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up next to you every morning. I want to make you lattes and buy you all the peppermint Hershey Kisses you can eat and sit outside during perfect snowfalls and make you breakfast before you go to work. I want to watch you slay all the dragons and then come home at night where it’s just you and me and this life I love so fucking much. I want to hear all your secrets and tell you mine, and I want us to always be safe with each other. You are my whole world, Juliette. I will love you every second of my life and on into eternity because a love this big can’t be anything except for forever.”
My tears are falling freely now, and so are Asher’s. But somehow, even though everything else is a blur, I see him clearly. I am focused so intently on Asher that I barely notice the rest of the ceremony. Ben says things, and we say I do, and we slip rings on each other’s fingers, and our eyes stay locked the entire time. And when it’s over, Asher kisses me so thoroughly and deeply that my head spins and everyone bursts into applause, but I don’t hear any of it. All I hear is Asher’s voice in my ear as his arms wrap around me and hold me tight against him like we are the only two people in the world because in this moment, we are.
“I love you, Juliette. Forever, okay?”
“I love you, too, Hot Shot. Forever.”