Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
OSCAR
Harvey noses around in my lap.
“What do you think?” I ask him. “Is dinner too obvious?”
He blinks up at me, eyes shining.
“You know, you’re not being very helpful.” I’m trying to figure out where to take Freya on our second date. The one I haven’t quite asked her out on yet.
I want it to be perfect, but I don’t want to freak her out with something too over the top.
Fuck. I scrub a hand across my beard. It’s been two days since we went for lunch and all I can think about is her face when I asked to kiss her. That flash of fear before she tried to cover it up. She would have done it, whatever she thought I wanted.
What did she think would happen if she’d told me no?
Whatever I do, I can’t push. She could either shut down, or worse, go along with anything I say because she thinks I’ll be upset with her otherwise. I have to prove to her that the ball’s in her court, at least until she feels more comfortable.
I switch on the television and idly flick through channels, landing on the news. The wildfire we’ve been monitoring is finally getting some coverage. It still doesn’t seem too bad, but we might end up having to go out there.
“You’d better hope this doesn’t turn into anything,” I say to Harvey. “Your grandma’s out of town. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you if I get called out.”
He twitches his nose.
I sigh. “Not exactly full of bright ideas are you, bud?”
Why do I bother?
I manage another ten minutes before my need to check on Freya wins out. I’ve been trying to give her space, but I can’t wait any longer.
OSCAR
Hi
My heart ratchets up to about four times its usual pace in the few minutes it takes for her to reply. What if she doesn’t want to talk to me? Maybe I freaked her out that badly.
FREYA
Hello.
OSCAR
How are you?
Good start. Very casual.
FREYA
I’m alright, how are you?
OSCAR
Not bad.
So, I guess we’re just making awkward small talk, then. I’m usually better at this, but there’s something about her that ties me up in knots. I thought maybe it was the remnants of my childhood crush, but that’s not it. It’s her, as she is now.
I decide to deploy my best card. I’m not above playing dirty. I snap a picture of Harvey and send it over.
OSCAR
Harv says hi.
FREYA
I LOVE HIM!
I grin. I knew that’d get her. But before I can reply, another message comes through.
FREYA
Also, sorry if I was super weird after our date.
I had a lot of fun.
Thank you for taking me.
She’s sorry? What the fuck? I force myself to relax my grip on my phone.
OSCAR
Let’s add sorrys to that swear jar we were talking about
FREYA
Huh?
OSCAR
You have got to stop apologizing for setting boundaries
FREYA
You’re not mad?
OSCAR
No, honey, of course not
The only thing I’m upset about is that you didn’t just tell me you didn’t want me to kiss you
FREYA
I didn’t mind…
I scoff.
OSCAR
Just what every man wants to hear
FREYA
Sorry.
OSCAR
Freya…
FREYA
Right.
Look.
It’s not that I didn’t want you to kiss me.
I just get in my head sometimes.
What I saw wasn’t someone in her head, it was blind panic. I can’t shake the feeling that someone’s put that there.
She mentioned a shitty ex. Maybe it’s got something to do with him? There’s a hot flash of anger at the idea.
What the hell happened to her?
OSCAR
We can take things as slow as you want to
FREYA
I don’t want to make you wait around.
Oh, Freya. I wish I was with her so I could pull her into my arms and hold her until she stops feeling like this.
OSCAR
I’ll wait as long as you want me to
FREYA
How are you so sure you even want this?
We hardly know each other
OSCAR
I don’t know, I think I know you pretty well
But I’ve got a good feeling about you, Malcolm
And I always follow my gut