Chapter 35 #3
But with Oscar I don’t have to take, because he just gives.
He gives, and gives, and gives, until I’m gasping, writhing beneath him, undiluted ecstasy pumping through me.
His pace picks up, a little harder with each snap of his hips.
One hand comes down to my thigh, lifting it higher, keeping me open to every push into my body.
“Oscar,” I gasp.
“What do you need?”
“I’m so close— it’s nearly—” I babble, unable to fully articulate.
Oscar changes the angle slightly and reaches between my thighs to press down on my clit.
“Oh-oh, God, yes,” I rush out in a moan.
“That’s so— Oscar! Ah!” I come hard, taking both of us by surprise with the force of my release.
I twine my arms around his neck, needing him to ground me as I ride out every wave of pleasure.
I’m so lost in it that I barely register him falling over the edge after me, but then we’re lying tangled together, sweat coating our skin as we catch our breath.
We lie for a long time, Oscar’s warm breath brushing my ear, its own lover’s kiss. “You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I breathe out, dazed. “So okay.”
He chuckles. “I’ll get off you in a second, I just gotta wait until I can feel my legs.”
“It’s fine.” I laugh, pulling him tighter against me. “I like it.”
“I’m not too heavy?”
“You’re perfect.” We lie in a warm silence, until the only sounds are the rustling of trees coming through the open window, and our own thundering hearts.
I feel my eyes start to drift closed, the blanket of sleep creeping up on me. I try to blink myself awake, but I’m just too comfy.
“I’m gonna sort out the condom,” Oscar murmurs, lifting off of me.
I moan as he pulls out, suddenly feeling so empty.
I catch sight of him as he walks to the bathroom, still half hard and I can’t help but roll onto my side to watch, admiring that perfect butt.
I must make some appreciative sound because he turns around and smirks when he catches me staring.
Rolling over, I laugh, hiding my embarrassment in the pillow as I squeeze my thighs together, relishing the gentle ache.
I need to get up, to go pee and get myself ready for bed, but I just don’t want to.
It’s like my bones have turned to cotton wool, I don’t know if they’d hold me up even if I tried.
Eventually I force myself up, following Oscar into the bathroom. My cheeks flush at the sight of the two of us walking around naked, but I refuse to let myself feel ashamed, not after that.
Oscar closes the lid on the trashcan and heads back into the bedroom. I move like a zombie, peeing, brushing my teeth, washing off my makeup. I skip my skincare routine, just wanting to be back in bed, but I can’t help but pause when I see my reflection.
I didn’t think I’d look different, but there’s something there. Maybe it’s just the flush that still covers my cheeks, but I look happy, relaxed in a way I don’t remember feeling in a long time.
It’s like I’ve shrugged off something heavy, washed away whatever’s been building up over the last few years, revealing something that more resembles the person I know lives somewhere inside me. I grin. I like it.
Padding back into my bedroom, I see Oscar wearing his t-shirt and boxers, and a set of my pajamas laid out on the end of the bed. I touch the edge of the blue striped fabric, looking over at him.
He blushes, and it’s utterly adorable. “That’s my favorite color.”
“You’re really making a habit of rifling through my things,” I tease.
He raises an eyebrow, giving me a wolfish grin. “I’ve just had my tongue inside of you, and you don’t want me in your pajama drawer?”
My face burns red. “Oscar,” I squeal. “You can’t say stuff like that!”
“You don’t like it when I talk dirty to you? Because it didn’t seem like you minded earlier.”
I ball up the top I’m holding and hurl it at his face. He catches it with a laugh, clearly finding this hilarious, even as I shoot daggers at him.
I step into the bottoms, only then realizing my mistake. Oscar chuckles again, standing from the bed and walking to me, holding the top I now need. He comes so close, our chests almost brush.
“Arms up,” he says quietly, all amusement gone.
I do as he says and he pulls the top over me, gathering my hair from where it’s caught inside and sliding the last few buttons through their holes.
“Come to bed.” His voice is so low I can barely make it out. I slide in on my side, facing toward the window. Oscar grumbles when he gets in and before I know what’s happening, his arm loops around my waist. With one swift tug, he rolls me over, positioning me so that my head’s on his chest.
His little sigh of happiness makes my chest ache with the fullness of it.
I used to feel so empty after sex, the lonely pit in my chest seemed to double in size the minute Aaron walked away, but Oscar makes me feel cherished, like I’m something precious he wants to tuck next to his heart for safekeeping.
I feel that pit now, feel it filling in at the edges, getting smaller. Here in Oscar’s arms, my big cuddly man, grounding me where once I would have fallen away, I’ve never felt so safe.