Chapter 9
Nessa
My job gave me the day off due to my car being stolen out of their parking lot.
Even if they hadn’t, I was going to call out due to the stress.
Placing my phone on my nightstand, I went to the bathroom to handle my hygiene.
After I brushed my teeth, I completed my face routine before going back into my room.
I checked to see if I’d gotten a call back or at least a text from Desmond but didn’t.
That shit pissed me off as I made my way into the kitchen.
As I fixed me some cereal, my phone buzzed on the counter.
Nas:
Nyla at school.
Me:
Thanks Nas.
Nas:
I told you I got you & I meant that Nessa.
Me:
Hopefully my car is found and I can pick her up.
Nas:
If not I’ll handle it.
Me:
Ok.
Placing my phone down, I couldn’t help but think how I didn’t believe Nas when he said he had me.
Yesterday was the first time I’d ever expressed how I felt about Nas going away to anyone other than Yas.
During his whole time away she’d been my comfort, my shoulder to cry on, my diary and most importantly my backbone.
A part of me hates that I let that part of me slip around Nas.
I’d been doing good with giving him the me I’d worked so hard to become.
Last night that was the younger version of me getting her release.
Trust it more of that inside of me but I’d felt some comfort of getting that out while he held me.
The way he was stepping up in my time of need had me considering taking his word, but it also shined a light that my nigga was MIA.
Yesterday I blew up his phone trying to tell him what had happened and here it was the next day with no type of callback or nothing.
First, he flakes on the dinner with Nas.
Then, he tried to make that shit seem like wasn’t that important.
Now, he can’t even be counted on for damn emergencies.
At this point, if he even called, I wouldn’t even tell him about what happened.
“Who is it?” I inquired when I heard a knock at my door.
“It’s me,” Yas announced.
“What the hell you doin’ poppin’ up over here?”
“You didn’t text me this mornin’ and yo’ car wasn’t outside yo’ job when I rode by on my way home, so I decided to pop up. Speakin’ of yo’ car, where is it?”
“Girl, somebody stole it.”
“You sayin’ that like it’s no big deal. Did you call the police? Are there any leads on it?”
“Because it’s not somethin’ I want to continue stressin’ over. I didn’t go to the police and haven’t gotten any leads ‘bout it from Nas yet.”
“Wait, Nas out there lookin’ for it?”
“Yeah. Maybe with his lil’ street connections he could find it quicker than the police.”
“Nessa, I’m sorry you goin’ through this, sis. I’m sure it’ll be found if not then you can use my car while I’m at work.”
“Thanks boo. We gonna see what happens. Hopefully, I get an update on it today.”
“Wait you called Nas instead of Desmond?”
“I mean I called Desmond first three times but no answer. When I called Nas he damn near answered on the first ring and was there within minutes.”
“Ok, Nas,” she smirked while pressing her thumb and pointer finger together.
“Ok, nothing. He’s still in the streets so I can’t even depend on him to be here forever.
I gotta keep movin’ as if it’s just me. Can’t afford to get comfortable and have the rug snatched from under me and Nyla.
The first time it was just me and I was able to put a piece of rug under us, but if that’s gone, I don’t know how I’d be able to bounce back while she’s hurtin’. ”
“I understand that, and I’m with you ‘bout not wantin’ to see my God baby hurt. But are you sure you’re not usin’ that as a way to continue keepin’ him away from you for breakin’ yo’ heart?”
“Let me find out you went out and got yo’ degree in therapy.”
“You know I get my Dr. Phil on every blue moon but stop dodgin’ the question. Are you sure you’re keepin’ this wall up for protection and not hurt?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. If you would’ve asked me that when he got out a few weeks ago, I’d be able to answer that without hesitation. But now…”
“You’re torn,” she answered for me.
“Yeah, I don’t know why though. I was doin’ good with keepin’ Nas at arm’s length.”
“You must have started the arm’s length rule after y’all fucked.”
“Yas, please! I’m tryin’ to forget ‘bout that.”
“And that’s why yo’ ass torn. Cause you tryna block out yo’ heart. Because no way you just givin’ it out like that.”
“I mean that’s my first, but I get what you sayin’. I just gotta get my head right and then I’ll be back on my game. I don’t want my emotions to ever get in the way of Nyla’s relationship with her dad. That’s why I’m able to be around him because I think of Nyla first instead of myself.”
“I see that trust me I do, but I also see the way you light up at the mention of his name. The more you keep frontin’ the harder the fight is gonna get.”
“Listen it ain’t no reason for us to even be talkin’ like that ‘cause I’m with Desmond.”
“Oh, Nessa, please. Like be so fuckin’ forreal. His ass hangin’ on by a wing and a prayer. Need to put him out of his fuckin’ misery like them white folks did that dog. Like have mercy on him.”
“No, I was really gonna focus on me and him movin’ forward. It’s just not lookin’ good with him behavin’ like this.”
“Have you heard from him yet?”
“Nope, I’m just tryin’ to see what kind of excuse he’s gonna come up with when I see him.”
“Whatever it is you need to drop his ass like a bad habit.”
“Ugh. Look I don’t even wanna talk ‘bout these damn niggas. I need to be out there looking for my car. Let me put on some clothes and we’ll hit the streets.”
“Girl, let me take a shower first.”
“Ok.”
After she showered and dressed in the clothes she kept over my house, we hit the streets to see if we could find my car ourselves.
We searched the 305 for hours until we decided to head back in.
The little hope I had was now nonexistent as I got out of Yas’ car.
After we planned for me to drop her off at work tomorrow, I gave her a hug before going into the house.
I wasn’t in there good enough before there was another knock at the door.
“Yo’ ass must have left somethin’ here?” I wondered thinking it was Yas at the door as I opened it. Imagine my surprised when I saw Desmond standing there looking like a sorry ass excuse for a man. “What yo’ ass doin’ here?”
“Damn, that’s how you greet yo’ nigga?” He scoffed.
“Oh, now you’re my nigga? Where was my nigga when I blew his phone up all yesterday?”
“My phone broke. What was goin’ on?”
“Really, Desmond?”
“Yes, really. Now again what was goin’ on?”
“My car wa…”
Before I could finish my sentence, Nas pulled up in my car with Nyla sitting in the front seat.
The way Desmond’s facial expression changed, I couldn’t help but pray that nothing popped off.
As I watched Nas in dad mode as he helped Nyla out the car, I got turned on by the sight.
It made me think about how he had me calling him daddy just a few steps away.
When they made it to us, I cleared my head of my naughty thoughts as I became excited that he’d found my car.
“Hey, Mommy,” Nyla greeted before hugging me. “Hey, Desmo–.”
“Go inside while the adults talk, Baby Girl,” Nas instructed.
“Ok, Daddy.”
“This must be the supposed boyfriend?” Nas quizzed with his hands folded across his chest. “And here I was thinkin’ that you’d made him up because he was never around when you really needed him.”
“Nas,” I urged as I tried to heed off the tension.
“Look it wasn’t my intention to stand you up, and I’ve been more than ready to reschedule it whenever you’re free,” Desmond reasoned.
“It’s gonna be awhile before I free up any of my time for somebody who has wasted it before. So, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on that date.”
“But you got enough free time to be ridin’ around in Nessa’s car though.”
“Ridin’ ‘round in her car,” he sinisterly chuckled as he repeated what Desmond had just said. “I can’t believe this the goofy you decided to get serious with. Aye, look Nessa, here go yo’ car. I found it in some abandoned lot. I need y’all ready to move by Friday.”
“Move?!” Desmond gasped.
“Ok, we’ll be ready, Nas. Thanks for findin’ my car. I’ll have Nyla call you later.”
“Alright, Baby Mama. Call me if you need anything else ‘cause you know I gotcha.”
He sized Desmond hard before walking off and getting into a black SUV.
I could feel Desmond burning a hole in the side of my face.
This wasn’t the circumstance that I wanted Desmond to find any of this out, but the cat was out of the bag now.
As I thought of how much talking this damage control was going to take, I stepped inside with him right behind me.
Hell, I’m just glad I wasn’t picking him up off the concrete from Nas knocking him out for being disrespectful.
“Nessa, what happened to yo’ car? And what this nigga talkin’ ‘bout we’re movin’? When did all of this fuckin’ take place?”
“For one you’ve been in and out since I said you could move in with us.
I don’t know what that’s about, but you’ve dropped the ball when I’ve been needin’ you most. Secondly, my car was stolen yesterday which was the reason for me callin’ you first three times but not getting an answer.
I didn’t know yesterday yo’ phone was broken, so I had to reach out to Nas.Like he just said he found it for me thankfully. ”
“Ok, but that doesn’t answer the question ‘bout us movin’.”
“That’s because there is no us. It’s just me and Nyla?”
“Y’all movin’ in with this nigga?!”
“Calm the fuck down. No, we not movin’ in with him. He, uh, brough us a house.”
“Where I’m supposed to go?”
“I mean where you been hangin’ but if that don’t work out you can stay here by yo’self. Look listen let’s go in my room, so I give you all the details and you’re in the loop movin’ forward.”
“Yeah, I need a rundown on everything.”
Moving day came quicker than I thought but I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t excited about it.
These last few days had been filled with packing, reassuring Desmond and keeping Nas off my back about Desmond.
Today, I was going be just as stressed as I was that day they met on the porch because they were both adamant about helping me load the U-haul.
When me and Desmond were catching up, he’d informed me that he’d gotten a new job.
The only thing was that he started on Friday and could only help that morning because he had to go in at one o’clock.
Somehow the U-haul Nas rented wasn’t ready until noon.
That would only allow Desmond to help me for a little before he had to leave.
We were waiting for Nas to pull up with the truck, so we moved all the boxes into the living room that way they’d all be in one spot.
When I saw Nas pulling up through the window, I stepped on the porch.
I came out here to tell Nas to be on his best behavior then I saw Chance get out the U-haul and I gave up.
“I’m here to help you keep the peace,” Chance explained as they walked up on me. “Because you ain’t gonna be able to get Nas off that nigga if he comes out the neck sideways again.”
“Chance, please keep your cousin under control,” I begged.
“All you gotta do is drop this goofy and I’ll behave,” Nas voiced.
“Nas, I can’t do that,” I dropped my head.
“Then keep yo’ nigga out my way and I’ll be straight. Don’t he gotta be to work anyways?”
“He does but he’s gonna help load the boxes in the truck.”
“All he gotta do is get out the way and let me and Chance handle this.”
“Nas, just let him help. Please, for me.”
“Fuck. Fine but he better watch his mouth today or I’ma slide his fuck ass.”
“Ok, ok.”
It took us maybe twenty minutes to load up everything.
A part of me was sad that I’d be leaving the only place that I’d call my own for the past two years.
The new house was more than I could ever dream of, and I was thankful for Nas dropping a bag on it.
I just couldn’t help thinking that the house could be snatched away from me like Nas.
If he’d acquired this with illegal funds and it could be traced back to it then would be the first thing seized.
“Alright, bae, I gotta head out so I’m not late,” Desmond announced. “I’ll come over when I get off to help you get settled in.”
“Ok,” I nodded before giving him a quick peck since Nas and Chance were standing right there. “I’ll see you later.”
He walked off the porch as the three of us remained there watching him leave.
Once he was out of sight, Nas cleared his throat to grab my attention.
With Desmond there I’d done everything I could do to avoid Nas.
We’d never spoken on us fucking his first day out, and God willing I hoped to take it to my grave.
After he’d cleared his throat five times, I kept my head down until his feet stepped into my view.
“Yessssss, Nas,” I dragged as I looked up at him. “What do you want?”
“I want you but that gotta wait for now,” he confessed with a smirk. “But on the real you know that nigga ain’t allowed to the house, right?”
“You can’t be fuckin’ serious?!”
“Dead serious. I told you this house is for just you and Nyla and I meant that. It’s to keep y’all safe.”
“He’s my boyfriend how the fuck am I supposed to explain that he’s not allowed to my house?”
“I mean you could dump his ass then you wouldn’t have to explain shit, but since you wanna be hardheaded y’all welcome to kick it here.”
“You’re jokin’ right?”
“Nope,” he answered before walking away. “Chance let’s go. Nessa follow me.”
“Chance, talk to your boy,” I pleaded as we walked towards the vehicles.
“Man, Nessa you know he don’t play when it comes to you and Nyla,” Chance acknowledged. “I can’t tell a grown man how to protect his family. I’ll pick his brain ‘bout it but no promises that it’ll change anything.”
“Fine.”