Chapter 48
was loaded with everything I hadn’t expected in the best kind of way.
“It’s honestly frustrating,” she carried on.
“And it’s one of the biggest elephants in the room with our community.
It’s so many of us who are programmed to do shit, because society says that we should.
Nobody is considering the bigger picture.
You got all these emotionally unintelligent women having kids for all the wrong reasons.
They’re worried about how the hair is. How dark are the ears.
The baby tying them to whatever nigga. Meanwhile, they can’t teach these kids shit.
Don’t wanna be bothered with them half the time.
And hate being a mama once that nigga don’t want them no more.
The universe is fucked up like that. Bitches who are always too selfish to put their kids first can pop out a baby if you look at them for too long. Then you got…”
“Then you got what?” I quizzed, totally tuned in.
She sighed and shook her head. “This is probably TMI. But you got women like me. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get pregnant.
I love kids, and would give a baby the world, but it just won’t happen for me.
So, I gotta just accept that I’ll probably always be the auntie of the family. Down to babysit and shit.”
“Damn, baby. Sorry to hear that. Your doctor told you that you couldn’t have babies or something?”
She paused, and bit the corner of her lip.
“Not exactly. My doctor would always say that there was nothing wrong with me, as far as she could tell. But she would also stress that if I’m having unprotected sex during ovulation, constantly, and nothing never happens, then something aint right.
And after a while the conversation turned to conducting tests, and taking medicine. Going to a fertility specialist.”
“So, you did that, right?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I read too many books and watch too many movies. I know exactly how that plays out. Fertility