Chapter 25 Ginger
Ginger
Dinner was delicious, and we’ve all effectively eaten ourselves into a food coma. Wren and Finn get up from the table, insisting that since I’m a guest, I should sit after a long day of travel. But there is no way in the world I’m letting a pregnant woman not only make my dinner but also clean up.
“You sit,” I tell Finn, directing her around the small island in Hayley’s kitchen and leading her to a stool at the counter.
Wren runs hot water into the sink, and I bring plates and serving dishes to the island where she helps me put away leftovers. Then we settle side by side at the sink while she washes, and I rinse and dry. “God, this brings back memories.” Wren laughs.
“You guys probably washed your fair share of dishes together back in college, huh?” Finn asks from where she’s perched at the counter.
“Oh, yeah. We had a schedule and everything,” I tell her with a smile over my shoulder.
“The apartment was so small, barely any counter space, so we had to do them after every meal, or it was a complete disaster,” Wren says, handing me a glass to rinse.
“Yeah, except you always left the pans for me,” I say and throw her a look, to which she laughs.
We work together in silence for a couple of moments and then Wren hip checks me. I look over at her.
“So, tell me more about those neighbors,” she says. “You never did give me all the details.” She pumps her eyebrows up and down lasciviously and Finn laughs behind us.
“That’s because you ran off to ride your cowboy,” I tease, and she laughs.
“Wait, what?” Finn asks, dropping her chin into her palm on the counter.
I groan at the memory. “I’ve got new neighbors. They’re sickeningly gorgeous. All young and tanned,” I fake grumble, then chuckle.
“She’s leaving out the part where they hit on her and then had a threesome while she watched.”
Finn gasps. “Did they really?”
Tucking my hair behind my ear, I launch into the story, telling Finn and recounting some of it for Wren.
“I gotta say, I never considered two guys before but…” Wren says, trailing off as she washes a glass.
“Damn,” Finn mutters distractedly. “I mean, Hudson is filthy, but that’s next level.”
“Mmhm,” I hum in affirmation and then we all share a little giggle.
“You should have gone over.” Wren grins, elbowing me lightly. “Show those young bucks what a real woman can do.”
“Ew, fuck.” I screw up my face, making Finn chuckle. “Young bucks? You’ve been living in the sticks too long, babe.”
Wren huffs out a laugh.
“Can you imagine?” I ask, taking on a horrible British accent like I’m narrating one of those nature documentaries. “The coastal grandma cougar stalks her prey, weaving in among sun-tanned, fresh-faced cubs.”
Finn snorts. “Now, who's using weird animal puns? And shut up. You’re stunning and beautiful and amazing,” she says sweetly.
“And grandma my ass,” Wren pipes up. “You’re a total MILF and the most stylish woman I know.”
“You two have to say that because we’re friends,” I say, grabbing my beer to take a swallow while I wait for Wren to finish washing the dish she’s holding. “Also, you live in Bumfuck, Montana. Not the most stylish place, so neither of your opinions on this matter holds much weight.”
Wren goes quiet and when I look at her, her face softens, not even a hint of an eye roll, smirk, or chuckle at my joke. She rests her hands on the edge of the sink, bubbles covering her skin. “Oh, babe, is it the boys being gone, or something else?”
I sigh and wave a hand through the air, brushing aside her concern. Middle-aged, pathetic, lonely, redhead is not a good look. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.
But Finn doesn’t allow me to brush it off either. “Is this about Peter? The wedding and the new baby?”
“Maybe.” I shrug, turning to lean against the counter, and Wren does the same. My mind drifts. “Also, my mother called the other day to let me know she could see my eye bags from Florida and to let me know that it looks like I’ve ‘put on weight’. So, there’s that.”
Wren scowls. “Respectfully, fuck that. You’re perfect exactly as you are. Don’t let her get in your head.”
I nod, hating that I even brought it up.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
She knows I don’t, but we both know I’ll feel better if I do. Nearly twenty years of talking through things with her have shown me that. And even though I haven’t known Finn as long, talking to her always helps, too.
“I think all of it has me feeling a little…left behind. Is that weird to say?” I ask, turning off the tap and leaning against the counter.
“Absolutely not.” Finn shakes her head. “You and the boys have been through some big changes in routine with Peter moving. And now he’s a husband to someone else.”
“And he’s going to be a step-dad to two new kids,” Wren adds, “and the baby.”
“Yeah,” Finn nods, her brown eyes sympathetic, “it’s a lot. I’d think it was more weird if it didn’t affect you.”
I nod. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Careful to keep my eyes averted, I give a tiny shrug and focus on drying the dish Wren hands me.
Direct eye contact with her is tricky. She will see right through me.
I’ve never been one to lie, and truthfully, yes.
Ever since Peter’s life has been changing, there’s been a slow build of anxiety on my end.
One that most certainly has me convinced that I’ve had my one shot at love, and that ship has so very clearly sailed.
Right out the door and into the arms of a twenty-eight-year-old dental hygienist. I’m not upset about Peter.
Or Meghan. He didn’t cheat, and we were divorced long before he got involved with her. I’m happy for them.
And I wasn’t lying when I told Hutch my life was too busy for a relationship. But I’m also…lonely.
At first, I was sure the uptick in anxiety was the change in routine for the boys, and that’s definitely part of it, especially for Tate. But seeing Peter moving forward, making plans, and living his life is really fucking with my head.
I haven’t told Wren or Finn about my possible move because they both have their own lives and their own husbands.
They don’t need my woe-is-me drama. Wren’s got enough on her plate with Hank and the girls, and Finn is still pretty much in the honeymoon phase with Hudson.
Not to mention, they have Paige, and soon they’ll have a new baby, too.
I’m not jealous. Tate and Jordan are more than enough.
But I’d be lying if I said I don’t envy Hank and Wren a bit.
They’ve known each other for years, and there’s a ton of history between them, having dated when Wren was in high school.
And they’re so sickeningly in love after twenty years that it’s hard to watch sometimes.
Hudson and Finnley have history together, too.
They’d been best friends for years, and when Hudson moved back home from New York last year, he and his daughter moved in with Finn.
I’d gotten the story second since I wasn’t living in Timber Forge, but it wasn’t until they’d gotten married so Finn could get health insurance for her diabetes that things had really started to change between them.
They’d tried to fight their feelings for one another, but it was futile.
They are meant to be together, and their baby boy is due in a few weeks.
Everyone is starting new adventures and yes, having hot, steamy sex. Except me. But that’s ridiculous, right? I can be adventurous. I could have sex, too, if I really wanted to. I mean, I’d had some fun with Hutch. Not that anything could come from it. Which, I guess, was what I wanted.
Sometimes, midlife is fucked as a divorcee.
Normally, I’m fine. But lately it feels like I’m grieving something I’ve already grieved.
It’s fucking weird. My marriage ended years ago.
I don’t miss him, but I do miss that closeness, the feeling of having someone to call, to hang out with.
No one told me there would be this gaping hole where the life I thought I’d have…
doesn’t exist anymore. But even admitting that feels ridiculous after all this time.
I’ve never been great at talking about my feelings. Although Wren and I have stayed close even with distance between us, I hate to worry her, especially now that she’s a new mom. I have firsthand experience how exhausting being a twin mom can be. So, I decide that a change of topic is in order.
After the dishes are done, we all head into the living room and tuck into the massive sectional. It really is a dream—like being cocooned in a giant fluffy cloud you never want to leave. I’ll have to ask Hayley where she bought it.
“How are the boys settling in at Peter’s?” Wren asks.
It’s only been a couple of days away from them, but I’m sure it’s harder on me than it is them.
They’ve spent a few weekends there already, so it’s not a completely foreign place to them.
As to how they’ll take our move, I can’t speak to that yet.
They’ve only ever known the house Peter and I bought together.
“They’re doing good,” I reply. “Not big fans of the rain. It’ll take some adjustment.”
Anxious to change the subject, I bump Finn with my elbow. “What about you? How are things with the Bed-and-Breakfast?”
Finn smiles and tilts her head at me. “It’s amazing. We’re so busy that I’ve had to hire a full-time worker to help out, especially with the baby coming soon.”
“And you and Hudson? Is Paige looking forward to being a big sister?”
She grins and blushes. “Huddy is perfect, as always. And Paige is so excited she can hardly stand it.”
“Hudson is basically obsessed with her.” Wren smirks and takes a swallow of her wine.
“Oh, like Hank is any better. He’s been obsessed with you for twenty years.”
Wren laughs. “And Hudson hasn’t been with you?”
Finn grins again, tucking her feet up under her on the couch and settling her hands on her belly. “Touche.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re both disgustingly happy and getting that Hayes dick on the regular.”