Chapter 53 Ginger
Ginger
The boys practically vibrate in their seats by the time we get to Hayes Ranch. Tate‘s got his face pressed against the glass in the backseat of Hales’ car. He’s so excited, which is funny because he’s usually always so subdued.
When I pull up next to the barn and park, it’s not lost on me that Hudson’s and Hank’s trucks are here, but Hutch’s is distinctly absent.
Unbuckling my seatbelt and climbing out of the car, I stretch and look around, hoping it looks like I’m not dying inside.
Wren appears on the porch and gives us a wave. Jordan and Tate both unbuckle and hop out of the car, excitement clear on their faces.
As Wren approaches, I paste a smile on my face and hope that she doesn’t recognize my puffy eyes and tired expression for what they really are—the eyes of a woman who sobbed herself hoarse in the shower last night.
The air around the barn smells like hay, and the breeze catches the hem of my sweater, making me shiver, though it’s warm today. Wren pulls me into a hug and then steps back, searching my face.
“You okay?” she asks with a squint.
I nod. “Yeah, just tired.”
She eyes me skeptically. “You sure? You look more than tired.”
“When you’re a single mom, you’re always tired.” I force a chuckle, grateful that she’s letting me off the hook for now. We’ll talk, but I…can’t right now and I love that she knows that.
Hank and Hudson come out of the barn with Apollo and Daisy saddled and ready to go.
The boys tear off toward the paddock.
I trail behind, calling out to Jordan to wait. He’s been around long enough to know the rules here. He stops to shoot me a grin while Wren opens the gate.
Hudson leads Daisy out, and Hank follows with Apollo, a hand on Jordan’s shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Tate talks to Daisy like they’re old friends, and Jordan bounces in place in the dirt while Hudson adjusts the stirrups for him.
And for a second, I forget. I forget that my heart sits shattered in my chest. That I feel like a shell of myself today, just trying to survive and be a good mom for my boys.
But then Tate calls out, “Mom, is Hutch coming?”
I stiffen, trying to appear unaffected by his innocent question. “I don’t know, baby,” I say softly. “Enjoy your ride, okay?”
My voice cracks at the end, enough for Wren to notice.
She slides up beside me, her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. “I know you said everything was okay, but I don’t believe you.”
I take a deep breath, eyes on my boys, and hope my voice doesn’t give away my inner turmoil. We’re leaving soon, and my life doesn’t feel anything like it did when I first left for Timber Forge. In fact, things feel more chaotic now than they did then.
“Anxious to get back, I guess,” I lie through my teeth.
Wren nods and watches me quietly for a minute before looking back to where both boys are now on their respective horses. “And you and Hutch?”
I shake my head. She must understand on some level, because instead of talking more, she wraps her arm around my waist and drops her head to my shoulder.
I let myself lean into her, for a second, like I might fold if I don’t.
The breeze shifts again, and the screen door creaks open behind us.
“Hey,” Nora calls out. She’s followed behind by Duke, who’s got Hazel on one hip and Emily holding Amelia in one arm and a bottle in the other. “I heard there were two little boys out here ready to ride.”
Wren lifts her head and grins. “You heard right.”
Paige comes out next, in a unicorn hoodie and sparkly boots. Finn steps out onto the porch too, cradling a mug and looking too put-together for a woman days away from giving birth. “Ginger,” she says softly, and pulls me into a hug before I can brace for it.
I blink hard. It’s almost too much. Nearly everyone I love all in one place.
There’s laughter in the paddock, Jordan squealing with delight as Mystic snorts and tosses her head. Tate’s chatting away to Hank like he’s known him forever, while Hudson reaches up to adjust Jordan’s helmet. Patient.
All of it feels like a snapshot of the life I almost had.
I let the chatter rise around me—Nora talking with her mom and dad, Paige teasing her dad about forgetting sunscreen again, Wren calling out to Hank to remind him not to let Tate eat horse treats—jokingly, of course.
This was never really going to be my life. And on some level, I knew that this feeling of belonging was borrowed at best. I’m just the best friend from out of town, the single mom with tired eyes and a hollow feeling in her chest.
The boys call to me, voices full of laughter, and I wave back with a smile that I hope doesn’t wobble.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to walk away from this. Because the second I do, it’s going to feel like leaving home.