Chapter 8 #3
“I don’t really wanna interrupt the fun.” Roscoe looked down at his crotch. “Er, maybe I do.”
Darryl threw open the door and stomped inside. “What the hell?” That was the last coherent thing I heard as the door slammed shut behind him.
“Four hours,” I said, rather impressed and a bit worried for Adam.
Roscoe let the marlin fall to the table before sitting next to me.
“Well shoot, that got me in the mood. You wanna—”
“This is not exactly the time.”
He shoved me with his elbow. “Hey. Wanna watch me fuck this fish?”
I shot the werewolf the most disgusted glance I could muster.
“What, you never looked at the StarKist tuna mascot and thought, ‘yeah, I could fuck that’?” He stroked the dead fish seductively with his index finger.
“You’re so nasty,” I said, reluctantly cracking a smile before breaking into laughter. “God, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Roscoe pulled me closer. “I like it when you laugh.”
We sat like that for a while longer, not saying anything as we listened to the angry commotion coming from the house.
Moments like these made me realize how comfortable Roscoe made me.
There was a charming guy in there, hiding underneath all the…
other stuff. Perhaps the flaws were what attracted me the most to him.
He was real, and he was funny, and he had those moments where he was sweet and caring.
The door slowly creaked open, and an embarrassed-looking Adam stepped outside with Austin following, a snarling scowl on his face.
“You could have at least let us finish,” Austin said, turning back toward an equally angry Darryl. They were both about the same size and build. I wondered who would win if they started fighting.
“You finished enough. I’ve gotta sleep on that bed tonight, and your spunk is everywhere.”
“Hell yeah,” Roscoe chimed in. “Bet it smells great.”
Everyone glared at him.
“What? Don’t act like you guys don’t like it.”
“Hey, is that a blue?” Austin asked, looking down at the fish. “Who caught it?”
“I did,” Roscoe said proudly. “Was just about to season this baby. You guys wanna join?” Roscoe’s ears fell off to the side as he looked up at Darryl. “That is, if it’s okay with you, buddy.”
“Oh, why ask? Everyone invites themselves into my house and fucks on my bed. Why not stay for dinner, too?”
“Sounds like a yes to me,” Austin said, eliciting an annoyed hiss from Darryl. “We’re going to need another fish, though. I bet I can get a bigger one.”
Roscoe stood up and playfully shoved the taller werewolf. “I bet it’ll be smaller. Takes a lot of skill to catch these.”
“You’re on, shorty.”
“Don’t mess with the sharks,” Darryl said. “I’ve got a soft spot for them.”
Austin pouted as we all sat around the table eating slices of grilled marlin with a few smoked cods. It seemed the other werewolf couldn’t live up to his boast after all.
“The cod’s good,” Darryl said patronizingly. “Can fit the whole thing in my mouth.”
“Oh, shut up,” Austin muttered, taking another bite of marlin steak. “Damn.”
“Good, ain’t it?” Roscoe put another piece of steak onto his plate.
“I’ve never met a werewolf chef before,” he said, taking a much larger bite.
“There’re two f’s in life I love the most—food and fuckin’. May as well be good at both.”
“I’ll eat to that,” Austin replied, patting a disgruntled Adam on the head, who looked more like a pissed-off wet cat than a half-turned werewolf.
He hadn’t said much since he walked out of the house.
The dynamic playing out at the table wasn’t at all what I’d expected.
Austin and Roscoe seemed to hit it off pretty well; Darryl, on the other hand, was less than friendly.
“Do you and Austin know each other?” I asked, trying to strike up a conversation that would give me a bit more insight.
“Yes.” Darryl’s sharp, one-word response was a subtle hint not to press it further.
“I used to take swimming lessons from him when I was a half-turn,” Austin chimed in. “Man, how long ago was that? Six years?”
“How old are you?” I asked.
“Twenty-four,” he said. “How old are you? Like seventeen?”
“I’m twenty-two, asshole.”
Adam snickered, likely remembering the jab I’d taken at him earlier for the same reason.
“For real? How the hell are you a twenty-two-year-old half-turn? Isn’t that shit supposed to happen during puberty?” He let out a dickish chuckle. “You just now going through puberty?”
My face got hotter. “Fuck off.”
“You look like you’re still in high school.”
“That’s kinda hot.” Roscoe shoved me playfully. “Gives me an idea for our little business.”
“You’re crossing a really creepy line right now,” I said, scooting away.
“You’re forgetting how puny you used to be,” Darryl said, grabbing his scratched-up cell phone from the table. “He was the town twink. Let me see if I can find a picture.”
Austin slammed his fist on the table. “I thought you fucking deleted that!”
Darryl kept scrolling, and his ears pressed against his head. “I may have, actually. Shit.”
The other werewolf grinned smugly before leaning back in his chair. “I may have been puny, but the marines made a man out of me. Well, not exactly a man.”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “I thought you said you weren’t in the military.”
The werewolf went silent and continued eating.
“Way to blow your cover in the dumbest way possible,” Adam said. “This is why we’re being evicted, by the way.”
“Why? Because he was in the marines?”
“No, because he went AWOL, and they’ve been looking for his ass. That’s why I couldn’t list him on the state contract. I didn’t know that until after he gave me this stupid chain.”
Darryl sighed. “How long do you have?”
“A week, maybe. I don’t know what I’m going to do. If Austin and I get separated, I lose my chance to not end up a bum on the street when I turn.”
“You’re a trust fund kid, so what the fuck do you have to worry about?” Austin snapped. “I didn’t get to make a kuu with a werewolf back then, and this is my last chance.”
“That’s not my fault.”
“Why did you go AWOL?” I asked, breaking up their argument.
Austin sat back in his chair and slapped his chest. “You know what I enjoy doing the most in life? Living. That’s why I left.”
“But there aren’t any wars right now.”
“Listen. I don’t wanna get into this shit but just know there’s a reason werewolves shouldn’t join the military. Lesson learned.”
I turned to Adam. “Do you lose your income, too?”
“Thankfully, no.”
“You guys should move in with us,” Roscoe blurted.
“Brilliant idea. This way, we can also run into the exact same problem.” I gave Roscoe a slap on the arm.
“Do you even think before you speak? I can’t just add more people to the list of roommates.
I got so nervous that I listed you as my fiancé, and I have to keep the whole kuu thing secret, remember? ”
Roscoe grinned. “Fiancé, huh? Sweet! May as well make it legal. What do you say?”
“Are you really proposing to me right now?”
“Yeah, what the hell? Let’s do it.”
“How romantic. How about hell no,” I said sarcastically.
“It was worth a shot.”
“You’re going to die single. I just want you to know that.”
Adam snapped his fingers. “Hey. About to be institutionalized here, which I think trumps… whatever the hell this is.”
“Maybe Roscoe’s onto something,” I said.
Roscoe’s ears perked up and his tail wagged, which meant he was about to say something stupid. “Fuck! I’m gettin’ married! Too bad the folks are dead. Although, if they weren’t dead by now, this’d probably do ’em in.”
I said nothing for a moment, staring dead-eyed at Roscoe before continuing.
“I have a feeling they audited you because they are trying to get werewolves and half-turns out of the city and into the surrounding counties. I wasn’t able to find a house anywhere around here, and there were plenty a few weeks ago.
Maybe call up the department and see if it would be legal for you to move there. ”
“I’d have to list Austin the same way you did for Roscoe, and I can’t do that or they’ll take him.” He turned to the huge werewolf sitting next to him. “Then that’s it for my future.”
“Your future? Are you forgetting they’ll probably kill me?” Austin shouted. “You know, in case for a moment you thought about anyone else but yourself.”
“Oh, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? The only thing you see me as is a fleshlight.”
“What else are you good for?”
“All right, I’m getting pissed,” Darryl said, turning toward Roscoe. “I thought you didn’t have a social security number.”
“I don’t,” Roscoe replied.
“Last name?”
“You know I forgot that years ago.”
Darryl looked back at me. “How the hell did you put this guy on a state contract?”
“Well, I kind of made shit up.”
“And they didn’t say anything?”
“Not a thing.”
Darryl and I both smiled and looked over at Austin and Adam.
“You mean to tell me all this time I could have just invented an identity and those idiots wouldn’t have questioned it?” Austin asked, growing increasingly irritated.
“For housing? I guess so, but for anything else? Don’t push your luck,” I said. “They didn’t seem particularly interested in knowing more about Roscoe. They just wanted us both out of the county.”
“Well, a loophole’s a loophole,” Darryl said. “It’s still a little risky. Call the auditor, tell them you’re interested in moving to Norwich, list Austin under some bullshit name, and bam! Get a place to live.”
“I don’t know,” Austin said, his ears off to the side. “What if Cody’s was just a fluke, and they find out who I really am? They’ve got my picture in the system and everything.”
“They didn’t ask for a picture of Roscoe,” I said.
“Yer sure this was the government you were talking to?” Roscoe asked. “This is starting to sound kind of—” He picked up a grilled cod’s head and silently mouthed the word “fishy,” which made everyone groan.
“Well, now I’m worried,” I said, scrolling through the list of dialed numbers on my phone. I copied the one I called earlier and pasted it into my browser, relieved when the Southside Bureau of Nonhuman Housing and Development popped up. “Well, it’s legit. I’ll text you the number.”
“I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask,” Adam said, holding up his phone.
Austin snatched the phone away. “Actually, it could. Never trust the government.”
“No shit, but we don’t have any other options. No one’s gonna know it’s you.”
After a few moments of hesitation, Austin handed the phone back to Adam. “Fine. I’ll tell you what name to use.”
A subtle but mischievous smirk crept up Adam’s face. “Yeah. I’ll write it down.”