Chapter 26 #2
I eyed him suspiciously as he disappeared but shrugged it off and reached into the fridge for sparkling water.
“What the fuck?” Darryl shouted before gagging loudly. Coughing and choking were all I could hear for a few seconds before the spigot connected to the water hose outside the kitchen window squealed. The backdoor opened and Roscoe trotted proudly back inside holding an empty glass.
“It worked,” he said, pulling out ingredients for breakfast.
“He drank all of it?”
“Sure did. Drank it all in one gulp.” He didn’t look at me as he pulled down a mixing bowl. “Gonna make us one big-ass omelet.”
More coughing fits from outside pulled my attention before ending in a finale of retching.
“Jesus Christ,” I said, running to the door. “That sounds bad.”
Before I could grab the knob, the door flew open, and Darryl stormed inside.
“Where is that bastard!”
Rapid footsteps shook the house as the front door opened and slammed shut.
Adam burst from his bedroom and ran into the hallway, looking both ways in a panic. “What’s going on?”
“Why did you drink that shit?” I asked.
“I didn’t,” he said. “He poured it into my mouth while I was lying on my back.” His eyes went wide as he grabbed my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Cody. He had a good run, but I’m gonna have to put him down.”
Roscoe peeked in through the living room window, and Darryl snarled, about to run outside before I pulled him back.
“I give you full permission to kill him after he makes breakfast.”
“Don’t know why yer so upset. Look at how spry you are,” Roscoe said after shoveling in a forkful of eggs. “My remedy works every time.”
Darryl said nothing, rather glared at Roscoe while he chewed on a piece of leftover sausage.
“You stopped hallucinatin’ right?”
The larger werewolf held another sausage to his mouth before meticulously biting off the end of it. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the symbolism.
“Oh yeah,” I said, remembering something from earlier. “What’s the theme of our costume?”
“Oh yer gonna love it. It’s a surprise.”
“Every time you string those two sentences together, I know it’s going to be stupid,” I muttered. “I’m not going to the party looking like a mix of dirty shit you pulled out of the trash.”
“It’s Halloween. We’re all gonna look like idiots,” he said, his tail wagging through the gap in the oversized dining room chair. “Plus, I didn’t get anything from the trash. It’ll be great, I swear.”
“He did a good job on ours,” Adam said. “I didn’t know you played video games.”
“I don’t. Got my inspiration from some porn I saw online, and that little stuffed animal Austin gave ya.”
“All right,” I said, standing from the table. “I want to know what you’ve done.”
“Nope. It’s a surprise.”
“Then I’m not going.”
“Oh, yer going. I’ll drag you kickin’ and screamin’ if I have to. The costumes don’t work unless both of us wear them.”
“Roscoe, I swear—”
“I’m gonna make you have fun,” Roscoe said, eyeing Darryl again. “Y—you excited, bud?”
“Oh, I’m not your bud,” Darryl said lowly, cracking his knuckles. “You should hurry and finish your breakfast.”
“My polar bear costume looks dumb,” Austin muttered.
“It’s cute. Ain’t it, Adam?”
“It’s perfect. His personality matches the character’s, too,” Adam said.
Austin pouted over his plate. “I don’t play stupid video games.”
“He shoots lightning from his claws.” Adam patted Austin on the back. “He’s the coolest champion!”
“What the hell kind of porn are you watching that has polar bears?” I asked. “How are you even finding all this stuff? You barely know how to use a smartphone.”
“I needed some inspiration, so I borrowed yer laptop.”
“That’s not mine, you idiot! Mosavi let me borrow it until I can afford one. If there’s monitoring software on that thing, and I have to explain to him why there’s polar bear porn—”
“Uh…” Roscoe interrupted, his ears low. “There ain’t no monitoring software on it.”
“How the hell would you know that?”
“Cause… there ain’t nothin’ on it no more. I got sidetracked and was jerkin’ to something hot, then I got some kinda weird warning telling me I had to pay six hundred dollars. Then it just stopped workin’.”
Both Darryl and I glared at Roscoe.
“Aw, c’mon guys. It’s Halloween. Best day of the year! Turn those frowns the other way.”
I turned to Darryl. “Destroy him.”
The werewolf cracked his knuckles again.
Later that evening, Adam emerged from his bedroom wearing a shiny leather thong, a wide-brimmed hat, and boots wide enough to fit his larger feet. Draped across his chest was a bandolier of fake bullets with a realistic-looking AK-47 strapped to his back.
“What the hell are you even supposed to be? Carl Weathers on a pride float?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m Jason from Leagues and Losers. I just had Roscoe make it more my style.”
Austin moped, dragging himself into the living room wearing an actual polar bear suit with gold-painted armor.
“This is humiliating,” he said. “I look stupid.”
“No way,” Adam said, wrapping his arms around Austin while shoving his face into the bear costume. “I’ve always had a thing for Pawlibear.”
I tried my best to hold back laughter, but a snort escaped and Austin snapped toward me.
“It looks great!” I said.
“Nope. Not doing it.” Austin unzipped the costume.
“Cody, you idiot,” Adam said, trying to stop Austin from practically tearing off the suit. “Come on, please. I wanna ride you into battle.”
“No,” he grumbled, and Adam turned to me.
“This is your fault,” he whispered. “Fix it. Do that thing.”
“I just find the name kinda funny, Austin,” I called out. “The costume looks fine!”
Austin disappeared into the room, and Adam folded his arms.
“Damn it,” I muttered, following the lumbering bear-wolf. “Austin.”
He turned around, and the hue of the room turned a silvery-blue.
“You’re going to the costume party dressed as…” I took in a deep breath through my nose, trying to keep a straight face. “Pawlibear. Understand?”
Austin’s eyes turned light blue, and he nodded. “All right.”
“God, that’s handy,” Adam said excitedly. “Can I tell him what to do now, or does it just have to be you?”
“Don’t even think about it, Adam. I mean it.”
He frowned. “Fine.”
“Cody, yer costume’s ready,” Roscoe shouted from the bedroom.
“And here we go,” I said under my breath as I walked toward the hallway.
Roscoe snorted like a bull, scuffing his foot against the floor, pretending he was about to charge.
The costume was him completely nude, with thick leather and gold bands around his wrists and ankles.
There were also a pair of horns tied to his head, and a large gold septum ring hanging from his snout.
“You are going to wear something to cover up, aren’t you?”
“There ain’t no clothes in the labyrinth.” Roscoe tossed a leather belt with a sword and hilt onto the bed with a few other thin leather straps. There were also two gold-colored shin and arm guards.
“Who am I supposed to be?”
“You ain’t never read about Theseus and the Minotaur?”
I sorted through the costume, trying to figure out what went where. “Where’s the rest of it?”
“Yer lookin’ at it.”
“Where’s the leather gladiator kilt thing?”
“Budget ran a little over due to the bear, so I had to improvise.” His smirk returned. “It’s completely in character.”
“That bear costume had to have cost at least a couple hundred dollars, Roscoe! I’m supposed to just go out in my underwear?”
“Nah,” Roscoe said, pulling my shorts down around my ankles. “Let me put it on ya.”
After running a strap from my shoulder down to my abdomen, he attached it to the thinner strap around my waist. He then fastened the thicker belt with the sword hilt and began snapping on the arm and shin guards.
He coiled some thin gold-painted rope and tied it in place to the other side of the belt with a buttoned hoop, then took a few steps back and ogled me.
“This is a joke, right?” I said, looking down at my junk swinging freely between my legs, the belt partially covering my groin.
“Oh yeah,” Roscoe said, biting his lower lip. “I wanna be slayed by you, babe.”
“Careful what you wish for,” I said through my teeth while reaching into the drawer for a pair of boxer shorts.
“Yer gonna ruin the theme.” Roscoe stopped my hands, but I pulled away and slipped into the shorts. “Theseus fucks that minotaur, ya know.”
“Yeah, I don’t remember that being a part of the myth,” I said, sifting through my top drawer. “Find me something decent, or I’m just going to wear normal clothes.”
“Adam,” Roscoe shouted. A few moments later, our bedroom door opened and the half-turn walked in.
“Hey! Theseus and the Minotaur,” Adam said. “Lose the boxers, Cody. They’re clashing with the theme.”
“See? Adam gets it.”
“I loathe you both right now,” I said, still shuffling through the drawers for anything that would come close to matching. With no luck, I thought back to something I’d seen in one of the compartments of Mosavi’s bag of magic sex.
The autumn air clashed brutally against my bare skin, and I didn’t have nearly the amount of half-turn fur Adam did to buffer it. What a strange feeling. I should have been more embarrassed, but this look really flattered me. Roscoe may have been a complete idiot, but costume wasn’t his worst idea.
Even though it looked a little too modern, the studded leather thong pulled from the case was the perfect addition.
Part of me was a little worried there were magical tricks to this thing, but after scrutinizing it for nearly a half an hour, I’d taken a gamble that it was just a normal piece of kinky clothing.
“Kinda impressed,” Roscoe said, pulling at Darryl’s shark tail. “This is really well made.”
“If there’s one good thing I learned from you, it’s how to pick a good costume.” The shark tail wagged. “Plus, it suits me. Always wanted to be a shark.”
A hand slapped my ass, and the taut thong amplified the sound.
“Ow, jeez!”