Chapter 5
Fatima
It was a big day for me.
My nerves were all over the place today.
I decided to take a leap of faith to get my dreams off the ground.
I stood in front of the building, staring at it.
I’ve been standing here for the past ten minutes trying to get the courage to walk inside.
My feet felt like they were being weighed down by cement blocks.
My hands were sweating so badly that I was afraid the portfolio would be wet by the time I got inside.
My heart was beating quickly, and my chest slowly felt like someone was squeezing it from the inside.
Yet and still, here I was.
It’s now or never, Tima.
Taking a huge breath, I said a small prayer before finally grabbing ahold of the brass door handle and pulling it open.
I walked down the hallway until I got to the elevator. With shaky hands, I hit the button then took a moment to look around the small lobby. The walls were an eggshell white, filled with black and white photos. The floors looked like they had recently been waxed. They were almost shining.
My attention went back to the elevator when I heard it chime. Stepping inside the elevator, I took my phone out of my dress pants pocket and pulled up the email to get the floor number.
After seeing it was on the sixth floor, I put my phone away and hit the number six button.
I wrapped one of my arms around myself and started taking small breaths to relax my nerves.
My foot was tapping rapidly. The closer I got to the sixth floor, the more I felt like I was about to pass out.
A small wave of nausea hit me all of a sudden when the door finally opened.
I stepped off the elevator and my eyes widened. The room in front of me was filled with bright lights that made the room shine. There were more black and white photos on the wall, along with some in color.
Walking deeper into the room, I noticed a lady at the end of the office-like space.
“Hello,” I spoke up.
The lady behind the desk looked at me with a smug look on her face.
“Can I help you?”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m here to see Mr. Jacobs.”
She squinted her eyes at me, looking me up and down. “Do you have an appointment?”
I nodded again. “Fatima James.”
She stared at me a few seconds longer before looking back at the computer. Even though I was nervous as hell, I wasn’t feeling the lady’s attitude and was about to address it until she spoke again.
“He’ll be out in a minute. Take a seat.”
Placing a tight-lipped smile on my face, I turned and walked over to the chairs on the left side of the desk.
Sitting down, I crossed my legs at the knee and sat my portfolio next to me. I started to tap my freshly done pink nails on my knee and looked around the office again.
“Ms. James!” A deep baritone voice called out after a few minutes.
I looked up and saw a light skin, tall, slim man approaching me. Jumping up, I grabbed my portfolio and hurried over to him.
“Right here.”
Mr. Jacobs was a handsome man. You could tell he was older due to his salt and pepper beard, but he looked like he kept himself up. His hair was freshly cut and lined up. The suit he was sporting looked expensive, and the Rolex on his wrist showed he had money.
“Fatima James,” I said, sticking my hand out.
He looked down at it then at me with a smile. His teeth were straight and white.
“Nice to meet you.” Grabbing my hand, he gripped it tightly, then shook it. “Follow me.”
I nodded, took a deep breath, then stepped inside the office.
____
“Your photos are good, but they just aren’t Galaxy Photography material. Taking photos is a great hobby for a lot of people but making it a career isn’t for everyone.”
Jacob’s words played over in my head as I sat there on my front step staring at nothing.
Today was the day I thought would change my life in a major way. Galaxy Photography was one of the largest and most successful photography agencies in the area. They worked with a lot of famous and powerful people. They were currently searching for a photographer, and I thought I had what it took.
“Your photos are mediocre. Here at Galaxy Photography, we need photos that will make you stop and gasp. Make you feel as if you are in the photo you’re looking at.”
Mediocre, I chuckled to myself and shook my head before wiping my eyes.
He had called my pictures mediocre and a hobby. Even the ones I took of Isabella, he’d called them cute but nothing special. All the time I took picking out the pictures I thought had potential was wasted. The hours I spent capturing everything that caught my eye were wasted.
I picked my camera up out of my lap and looked it over. Usually staring at it got me excited, but right now it felt like a weight holding me down.
My body had gone numb replaying the rest of Mr. Jacobs’ words in my head. Angry tears filled my eyes as I listened to him discredit my ability as a photographer.
Sighing heavily, I dropped my camera in my lap and let my head drop.
“Hey neighbor!” I heard next to me.
I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now, but I didn’t want to be rude. Looking up, I noticed Autumn standing in her driveway.
Giving her a small wave, I turned and diverted my eyes back to my lap.
“Everything okay, boo?” She asked me. Her voice was now closer.
Glancing up, she was now standing at the end of my steps on the sidewalk that led to my door.
“No,” I confessed.
Her eyebrows squinted together. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“No.”
I released a deep breath.
Autumn, not taking the hint that I didn’t want to be bothered, kept pushing. “Well…oh shit! I didn’t get your name when I came over here.”
“Fatima.”
“Well, I’m on my way to grab something to eat. Want to tag along?”
I stared at Autumn curiously, wondering why she was being so nice to me. We didn’t know each other, only spoke once, and besides a casual wave when we saw each other in passing, we didn’t interact.
Autumn laughed. “By the way you’re looking, I can tell you’re confused about why I’m over here. You just looked upset and you seem like a nice person. I don’t know anyone in the neighborhood, and we look around the same age, so I thought I’d be nice and speak,” she smiled.
Even though I was still in a shitty mood, I couldn’t lie and say Autumn’s energy didn’t rub off on me. I gave her a small smile and nodded.
“Let me take this in the house and grab my purse.”
“Cool, I’ll be in my car!” She turned and headed back to her house.
Getting out of the chair I was occupying, I closed my eyes, enjoying the small breeze that just went by. It was hot today and not a cloud was in sight. The sun was beaming, and you would think it would mean a good day, but for me, it was the total opposite.
Pushing my failure to the back of my mind, I went into my house to get my stuff.
____
“How long have you lived in the neighborhood?” Autumn asked me, picking up one of the wings on her plate.
I wiped my mouth before I answered. “For about three years. It’s a pretty good area, quiet, and everyone pretty much stays to themselves.” I shrugged and grabbed a fry. “What about you? What brings you here?”
Autumn nodded. “I was tired of living in an apartment. Not being able to be loud when I wanted, having to be mindful of my neighbors.”
I laughed. “That could be a pain in the ass.”
“Do you have a boyfriend? I never see a guy coming or going from your house.”
My eyes widened. Autumn wasn’t shy whatsoever. “Uhm, no. I don’t really do relationships.”
She smirked. “God, you’re one of those. You sound just like my brother.” She shook her head.
I cocked my head back. “One of what?”
“You got your heart broken and gave up on relationships.”
Quickly, I shook my head. “Never been in a relationship to get my heart broken. I just don’t do them.
” I hoped Autumn let it go because I wasn’t trying to go into how relationships had been ruined for me since I was ten years old.
How my scars ran deeper than just a random guy breaking my heart.
How the first man that was supposed to show me what it meant to truly be loved dropped the ball tremendously.
That was the last thing I wanted to think about on top of everything that happened today.
Autumn must have picked my uninterest as a sign not to go deeper because she let it go. “Mhm. Well, I’m a hopeless romantic.”
“You have a boyfriend?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m casually dating right now but nothing serious. Guys nowadays don’t want to settle down and start families. All they want to do is to bust a nut and move on,” she paused and rolled her eyes. “I don’t want that. I want to find someone that I can start my life with.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-four.”
“And you think you’re ready to settle down already?” I stared at her, shocked. Most girls our age still wanted to play the field. Hearing Autumn say she wanted to settle down already was rare.
She shrugged. “Yeah, I mean why not? Sleeping around with different people doesn’t appeal to me. It never has. Throughout high school, I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart until college took us two separate ways.”
“Wow, really?”
She smiled and nodded. “Yep, I wanted to be loved and love someone else. That’s how it is with my parents, and I want the same thing.”
Suddenly, I felt envious of Autumn. She seemed to have a great example of love while I was damaged and never wanted to experience it.
The way she talked you could see how the thought of being in love excited her.
Her eyes sparkled and her face lit up talking about spending the rest of her life with one person.
I grew queasy just thinking about the fact.
“Well, hopefully you find someone to make all that happen for you. You and your high school sweetheart don’t keep in touch?”
Autumn’s face dropped. “No, we did for a while, but he was a big basketball star on campus. Girls flocked to him and he ate it up. We just kind of grew apart. I started seeing him post girls on his social media, so I blocked him to protect myself. Haven’t talked to or seen him since.”
Listening to Autumn, I could hear her ex still held a lot of value in her life. Just the way she spoke on him showed she still loved him. The way she was feeling right now, the reason for her not speaking to ole’ boy, is the exact reason why I prefer to stay single.
Men always want their cake and eat it too. It didn’t matter if they had a whole family at home or someone that loved them in their corner; they would still step out and do their thing.
“Enough about that though!” Autumn’s bubbliness came back and she was smiling again.
“What was up with you earlier?”
Sighing, the rejection I experienced earlier came rushing back into my mind.
“Just got some bad news that I wasn’t expecting.” I grabbed the top of the straw and twirled it around the glass.
“What happened?”
I stared at Autumn. She reminded me so much of Isabella. Always trying to cheer someone else up, pushy as hell, and always in a good mood.
“I went to an interview for a photography job and got turned down.” Looking down at the food, I suddenly lost my appetite.
It seemed like I couldn’t catch a break. Every time something positive in my life seemed to be happening, I got knocked back ten feet.
“You’re a photographer?”
I nodded. “Well, according to Mr. Jacobs, I’m a hobbyist.” I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my seat.
“Do you have any of your work on you?” Grabbing my purse off the back of the chair I was sitting in, I took the portfolio out and handed it to Autumn.
“They’re nothing special,” I warned her.
Autumn grabbed the portfolio and set it on the table. She flipped it open and went through the photos.
Normally I felt joy when I finally showed off my pictures, but right now I didn’t feel anything. The joy I used to get off my work was gone; the spark had been extinguished.
“Fatima, these are really good!” Autumn finally said, looking up at me.
I waved her off. “Not good enough for a big company to want to hire me.” My shoulders hunched over.
“Then that company is crazy! Who is this? She’s really pretty!” I looked at the picture and smiled.
“My best friend, Isabella.”
“She models?”
I nodded.
“She signed with anyone?”
“Nope, we’re both at a standstill right now.”
Autumn looked through the pictures again.
“I may have a job for the two of you.” I stared at her curiously.
“I own a boutique. I have a decent following and get good traffic, but I want more. See if she will model some clothes for my summer line, and you can shoot the photos.”
“Autumn, you don’t even know us. Why would you do that?”
“I told you. You seem like a nice person and it’s obvious you love your craft.
Everyone needs someone that believes in them.
My parents were that for me. I’ve always been a popular girl, but I was scared as hell to open my boutique.
They, along with my brother, pushed me to do it, and I’m happy they did.
If I can do that for someone else, then I will. ”
I stared at her in shock. For Autumn to be as young as she was, she didn’t give off that vibe. I wasn’t used to anyone giving me a break or pushing me besides my mom and Isabella. Outside of them, it was like I was battling everything on my own.
“Okay, I’ll talk to Isabella and let you know.”
“Good!”
Autumn and I continued eating and making small talk. She told me about her family and how close they all were, especially her and her brother. I told her small details about my family, mainly how I was raised by a single mother.
As we prepared to leave, I had to admit I felt better. Even though it still sucked that I had gotten looked over for the job, I wasn’t going to let it keep me down.