Chapter 50
CHAPTER FIFTY
Briar
All I wanted was sleep. My eyes burned, and my entire body was so sore I was certain it would take a week before I felt better.
I’d been ravaged by what happened and mortified that Knox had to carry me. And while he held me tenderly, it wasn’t with the love with which he once did. It wasn’t unkind, but it was far from personal.
On the second floor, he turned away from the stairs leading to the third. “What are you doing?” I demanded.
“A bath will help you.”
A bath sounded like nirvana for my sore muscles, and I’d love to rid myself of the stench clinging to me, but I’d much prefer to bathe on my own. I could take care of myself… once I had the energy to do so.
He opened a door and stepped into a sumptuously appointed room. The branches on the trees in the corners reached the domed, glass ceiling. Those limbs crept over the glass but didn’t block all the sky. A few stars poked through the cloud cover.
“How long was I in there?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
He set me beside a tub big enough to fit ten and leaned over me to turn on the water. I opened my mouth to tell him I’d prefer to return to my room, but the rising steam froze my words. It was almost as alluring as a bed, but…
When Knox turned another knob on the tub, a soapy liquid poured into the water, forming bubbles. My insistence on being returned to my room died on my lips.
Steam and bubbles? Who could refuse that?
I stared at the tempting pool of blue water as it rose higher. When Knox rose and walked over to a large walnut cabinet, I missed the heat of him; that longing brought fresh tears to my eyes.
I wiped them away before he could see. I was exhausted, battered, and damn near broken by everything that had transpired. And I was even more certain he was gone for good.
From within the cabinet, he removed some bottles before returning to me. When he set them down, their labels faced me… lavender, chamomile, eucalyptus, and comfrey leaf. They were all good for relaxation and helped ease inflammation and joint pain.
I lifted my eyes to his face. Black stubble lined his square jaw; it was nearly the length of the hair on his head and the same shade of black. I almost leaned close to kiss his cheek, but stopped myself. I’d been through enough and wasn’t in the mood for him to shove me off the tub.
I yearned so badly for him, and not in the desperate way of my Needing. I wanted to reconnect with him, feel him, and love him. Oh, how badly I longed to give this broken man the love he deserved.
“You know your herbs,” I murmured.
“I spent a lot of time with the sprites as a child. They wouldn’t have allowed me to stay in the woods with them if I wasn’t willing to learn.”
One at a time, he opened the bottles and sprinkled some of their contents into the water until their enticing, comforting aroma filled the air.
“I’m glad they taught you,” I said.
His eyes briefly met mine before he returned his focus to his task. “So am I.”
“You never told me about the sprites when we were in No Man’s Land together,” I said.
He shrugged. “They liked to stay hidden and while I told you almost everything, I would have felt bad about revealing their existence to anyone. I told you my secrets, but kept theirs.””
I could understand that. “It must have been fun growing up around them.”
A muscle twitched in his cheek. “It was fun, and interesting, as well as an escape from the castle.”
My breath caught when he looked at me again, not from his beauty, but from the fact this intimate revelation was like the ones we used to share in No Man’s Land.
He’d gone there because life was lonely for him here, and that’s also why he’d gone to the woods.
Once there, he’d found friends amongst a species who far preferred to stay hidden.
My throat burned with all the words I wished to pour out, but I held them back. Something had changed in that room; I wasn’t sure what, but I couldn’t chase him away by plunging into this small opening.
When he finished, he replaced the stoppers, rose, and returned the bottles to the cabinet. I dipped my fingers into the water and trailed them across the surface. The bubbles swirled apart and then came together again as the scent of the herbs mingled with the air.
Knox returned to my side and unbuttoned his shirt. My mouth parted as he exposed more of his broad chest and the tattoo beneath. A tattoo to remind him of the punishment he believed he deserved, but didn’t.
“What are you doing?” I croaked out.
“It’s time to get in,” he said gruffly.
I pulled my blanket closer. “Not with you in here.”
The corner of his mouth twitched toward a smile, and he tossed his shirt on a nearby chair. “I’ve been inside you, Briar, and just watched you go through your Needing. I don’t think modesty has any place here.”
I glowered at him as my fingers clenched on the blanket.
The movement caused a fiery twinge through my hand, and I winced as I glanced down at my raw, bloody fingertips.
Some of my nails were completely gone, the others were all broken, and most of them were low enough to reveal half my fingertip.
It would take a while to grow them back, as well as the skin that had torn away.
“I’m not leaving you alone in here; if you pass out, you’ll slip beneath the water and drown,” he said.
“I’m an eternal; blow some air into my lungs and I’ll be fine.”
“Fine, I’ll put my mouth against yours and my hands between your breasts to save your life. That’s a much better plan than making sure you don’t drown in the first place.”
My scowl deepened as I contemplated twisting his nuts until they popped. What fun that would be.
He towered over me with his hands on his hips as he waited for my response. While I wanted to insist on being left alone, as exhausted as I was, there was a chance I might pass out in this wonderful bath. Maybe I should insist on going back to my room, but that would only punish me.
Should I take the chance of drowning and having him rescue me? Should I just let him stay?
It’s not like he hasn’t seen everything already.
“Are you going to get in there with me?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then why did you take off your shirt?”
“So it doesn’t get wet.”
“How would it get wet?”
“Maybe you’ll splash, or maybe I’ll have to fish you out.”
“You’re not going to take your pants off, are you?” I demanded in a tone far more panicked than I’d anticipated. I’d managed to resist him during my Needing, but even with as exhausted as I was, I desired him.
“You sound terrified by the possibility.”
“I… I… I’m not.”
He didn’t speak for a minute before he waved a hand at the water. “The pants will stay on. Get in, Briar.”
Tired of fighting him and desperate for a bath and bed, I mustered all the dignity I could as I rose on quaking legs. I climbed the two steps up to the tub, released my blanket, and stepped over the edge.
Knox clasped my arm when I teetered. I hated that I needed his help, but if he hadn’t stopped me, I would have face-planted into the tub. It would be awful if I drowned while he was here, considering that’s what I’d hoped to avoid.
With his help guiding me, I sank into the bubbling water and sighed blissfully. The warmth of it eased my tense muscles.
Holding my breath, I sank beneath the surface and stayed there for a minute before rising again. When I did so, Knox settled on the tub behind me.
I sank lower in the tub and crossed my arms over my breasts when they started to float. He’d seen them before, but they didn’t need to be on full display. I closed my eyes as I let the water and herbs work their magic on my sore body.
When fingers wrapped around my arm, I jumped at Knox’s touch and tried to jerk it away, but while his touch was tender, it was also firm. I kept my other arm over my breasts.
“Easy,” he murmured.
My arm remained tensed in his grasp, but when he started kneading my knotted muscles, I relaxed a little. I shouldn’t let him touch me; I didn’t want it.
But as I told myself this, I couldn’t deny I did want it. Not only that, but I enjoyed it. I didn’t like this man; he was hateful, cruel, and awful, but his touch was familiar and missed… so badly missed.
And loved.
I closed my eyes to keep my tears from falling; water still trickled down my cheeks, but he’d scent the difference. His hands were different from what I remembered, larger and rougher. Thick callouses marred his palms; he’d had calluses before, but they were smaller then.
They also weren’t as tender as I remembered. He wasn’t rough or unkind, but love didn’t radiate from his touch like it always had before.
He worked his way up my arm, massaging gently until he got to my shoulders. I contemplated pulling away, but it felt too good, and it had been years since anyone touched me with kindness. Even if this contact was strangely impersonal, my long-denied soul soaked it up.
He was once everything to me, and he felt like a stranger as he nudged me forward.
Unable to resist his guidance, I bent forward a little.
His hands moved down my back, tracing my spine before massaging the knots in my lower back.
I moaned low when his hands magically worked out the twisted muscles.
He slid over my shoulders to my other arm to work his magic there; as he moved, I sensed a change in his touch. It didn’t become more loving, but desire flared as his hands slowed and his fingertips brushed the underside of my breast. I should jerk away; I didn’t.
I’d hoped to never feel desire again after my Needing, but it stirred low in my belly before spreading to my core. The ache that had finally died away between my thighs surged back to life.
I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning as I grappled to keep my breathing even, but it was impossible with his large hands on me. I’d yearned for this man… or at least the one he used to be… for ten years.
I could never have that man again, but I couldn’t shut off my emotions.