Chapter 55
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Knox
I didn’t miss that she was talking about her love for me in the past tense. I’d repeatedly told her Seth was dead, our relationship over, and made it clear I’d never claim her as my mate again.
While her past tenses bothered me more than I’d anticipated, it was far better if we kept our distance. She’d stopped referring to me as Seth, and I was glad about that.
Her mother had turned me into a beast, destroyed my animal, and torn away the man I once was. No hope existed for me; it might for her.
“You still think I’m lying,” she stated.
“I don’t know what to think.” I was still trying to process what I’d witnessed her do during her Needing. “I do believe you don’t know about the curse.”
The smile that lit her face caused a pang in my heart. That’s the way she always looked when we reunited in No Man’s Land after being separated for a bit. It had warmed me then, and it did again now, far more than I should let it.
“If I could help break it, I would,” she said. “If you want me to leave, I will.”
“And go to Terra?”
“Maybe. I don’t have many options, but I’ll leave if you ask me to. I know nobody wants a caster here.”
I didn’t like the idea of her anywhere near Devnair or the elves. They were tricky creatures, manipulative at times, and only looked out for themselves. Plus, I’d seen the way he looked at her, and I had no doubt Devnair would thoroughly enjoy having her in his clutches.
“I didn’t say that,” I stated.
“Am I still a prisoner then?”
“You’re free to leave the tower, but not the castle grounds. The shadow dragon doesn’t like visitors.”
Excitement bloomed in her eyes, and that heart-stopping smile grew bigger. “Understood.”
“Bertie would like your help with the plants and rosebushes here, if you’re still willing to lend a hand.”
She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I would. If you have earth moss, I can make a potion.”
“There’s some in the lower gardens. I’ll take you to it later. If any of the plants die, not only will I lock you back in this room, but I’ll strip your skin from you.”
My promise didn’t dim the shine in her eyes. “I won’t let that happen.”
I scanned her again. “We’ll start with one plant for you to make sure.”
“It’s going to be the best-looking plant in the palace.”
I bit back a smile at her enthusiasm. “I’m going to hold you to that. We also have a library. I’m not sure if you still love to read—”
“I love it!” she blurted before I could finish my sentence. “My mother barred me from it, and I’ve missed it so much.”
The joy on her face rattled me, and for a moment, it took all I had not to leave the room, sink to the floor, and scream from the fury and loss radiating through me. I’d once loved seeing her joy so much that I would have ripped the moons from the sky for her.
While I was in the harem, I’d vowed that when I found her again, she’d never know another day of happiness, but I was giving it to her again. More than that, I wanted to give it to her.
She could still be lying to you about everything, I reminded myself.
And while that was true, I wasn’t as convinced of it as I was before. She was right, her mother hadn’t cast a spell over her to learn the truth; Marina would have made sure she remembered it.
How the queen of the night casters learned our secrets remained a mystery, but I would discover the answer, even if it meant learning Briar really was the heartless, traitorous bitch I’d believed her to be for the past ten years.
“I’ve been trying to read that book over there.” Briar waved her hand at a book on the table near the window. “But it’s on war and strategy, so it’s not my favorite read.”
“It wasn’t my favorite either, but my father insisted I read it. I didn’t get a quarter of the way through before I was taken to the harem.”
“You were the last one to read it.”
“I was. I used to spend a fair amount of time in this room.”
“It is beautiful, even if it’s a tower.”
I ignored the tug of guilt that accompanied her words. I’d put her in this room to get her to spill her secrets.
“You preferred fantasy, adventure, and some romance,” I said instead of apologizing. I wouldn’t apologize for doing what was necessary to get at the truth.
“I also enjoy a good mystery.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“So true.”
“We have plenty of books for you to choose from.”
“I’ll get dressed, and we can go to the library,” she said.
“Wouldn’t you rather eat first? It’s been a few days.”
“Oh, yeah…. Ah, no. No, I wouldn’t.”
I frowned at her as she gazed back at me hopefully. The weight she’d lost was evident in her hollower cheeks; the bones in her hands stood out more sharply against her skin as she clutched the robe closed, and shadows rimmed her eyes.
“We can eat after,” she said. “I want to see the library! I want to smell it and run my fingers over the books.”
She needed food, but she was a grown woman who could make her own decisions.
“Library first, then,” I agreed.
For a second, I believed she might run across the room and fling herself into my arms like she used to. Instead, she swayed briefly toward me before her smile faltered.
Then, her grin returned, and she raced over to the wardrobe. She yanked clothes out so fast she couldn’t have any idea what she’d grabbed before she fled into the bathroom.
When she was gone, I strode over to the bed and lifted one of the pillows. A pair of big, nearly black eyes stared back at me from a tiny gray face.
“Where did you come from?” I inquired.
The creature’s nose twitched, but, of course, it didn’t answer me. How long has it been with Briar?
I’d been so caught up in her scent whenever I was near her that I hadn’t detected this creature until today. Its faint, musky aroma caught my attention when I first entered, but I still might not have noticed over her scent, if its claws hadn’t grazed the wall when it retreated under the pillow.
The creature’s nose twitched again as water turned on in the bathroom. I should take this thing and throw it outside where it belonged, but when it shrank away from me and lowered its head like it was begging me not to, I didn’t reach for it.
“Shit,” I hissed.
Briar must have found a way to take care of it if it hadn’t starved to death, and I didn’t smell shit and urine all over the room. If she wanted a pet, I wouldn’t take it from her… yet. I couldn’t let it live here forever.
I set the pillow carefully back over the creature and retreated to the door. If anyone in No Man’s Land had seen me do such a thing, they would have seen it as a sign of weakness. Perhaps it was, but Briar still had little happiness in her life; I wouldn’t take that thing from her.
I tried not to think about what that said about me and my feelings for her, but they were shifting. She wasn’t like the other casters. That didn’t mean I could let her get close again, but maybe I didn’t have to hate her.
When the bathroom door opened and she stepped out, my eyebrows shot up.
I’d been right, she hadn’t paid any attention to what she grabbed from the wardrobe, as she wore a vivid red shirt that was far too big on her.
She’d rolled the sleeves up to her elbows, but one of them was already sliding down.
She had on green hunting pants, and while the shirt was too big, the pants were too small. They were almost two inches above her ankles, which was more than enough to reveal her fluffy blue socks.
She’d brushed her hair and smelled of the mint from her teeth cleanser, but her ponytail was haphazard, and a bit of tooth powder stuck to her bottom lip. “I’m ready!” she announced.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing as I took in her awful ensemble. This woman was determined to get to the library.
“Then let’s go,” I said.