Chapter 17
The pushback
Adalia had woken early for work, pleased to find Matthias still lost in what she hoped was a happy dreamland. He’d come in late last night, probably hoping she would be asleep.
She hadn’t been.
How could she be? Their moment of passion changed something in her heart. She wanted to hate him for tearing himself from her, but she was finding it hard to. Maybe he just needed some space? Maybe he wasn’t ready?
Either way, Matthias had made it clear that he didn’t want her. So, she would distance herself. There was no way she was going to put her heart on the line for him . . . not if he didn’t want it.
How to move forward from that while he was currently living in her home, though, was another issue.
After placing a cup of coffee for him beside the lounge, Adalia returned to the kitchen, preparing a light breakfast. Her eyes flicked to the sleeping prince every so often. Once finished, she tidied the kitchen and sat at the table. Adalia quietly stabbed into her fried egg, the golden yolk bursting under her knife blade and trickling down the side of her toast. She ate in silence, her heart wounded and heavy.
Matthias stirred and rolled over, making eye contact through a sleepy gaze. Adalia looked away after a moment and stood to her feet, clearing her plate and washing it in the sink.
The prince sat up and stretched his arms and wings, casting a large shadow across the lounge room floor. “Ada . . .” he called softly.
“There is some breakfast here, and I made you coffee. I’ll be out all day and I have plans here at home tonight. See you later,” she murmured as she grabbed her bag and walked out the front door, not giving him the opportunity to respond. She didn’t want to hear the excuses right now. He didn’t get to decide when they would talk about it, either.
Patrolling The Grey felt different today. Adalia couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Everything looked normal, but she’d seen more tavern fights and more thieves trying to steal merchants’ goods than usual. Some Shadowkin even seemed more agitated, like they knew something she didn’t.
It was late afternoon as she headed back to the compound.
Shiloh was coming for dinner. Adalia needed some female company and hoped it would help with current tension at home.
Adalia stepped through the gate at the shimmering, milky Veil and handed the reins of her horse to the stable hand. “Thanks, Blue. You should be proud of yourself for always taking such good care of these four-legged creatures.”
Blue grinned widely, his warm brown eyes glinting in the sun.
Adalia took to the skies.
The compound was a flurry of Lightners as she landed, training in the rings, blade against blade. Some were in the archery complex practising their aim and others were practising hand combat. She was proud of her people, always striving to be at their best to keep the innocent protected.
Nikolas landed in the distance, and Adalia moved towards him. He did not know about the dynamics at home, and she wondered whether she should tell him. Considering how last time went . . . maybe she should.
“Will you be home for dinner tonight?” she asked Nikolas as he reached her side.
Her brother pulled his wings in close and ran a hand through his tousled chestnut hair. “I think so, but don’t wait for me. I might get a drink with the boys a bit later. I’ll let you know,” he said.
“Have you been training? You seem out of breath?” Adalia rose her brow.
Nikolas nodded, hand on hips. “Yeah, just did a session with Lan. That guy knows how to fight. He had me for a moment there, but I wore him down in the end.” He grinned.
Adalia smiled at her brother. He was such a kind soul. Lightners far and wide respected him. She felt honoured to be his sister. “Well, if you will be around, let me know. I’ll start cooking at about six.”
“Sure thing. Is everything okay?” He cocked his head.
Adalia nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you later,” she said as she waved to him.
Her office was a mess. She hadn’t been in here for a couple of days and there were piles of paper scattered all over her desk. A white mug sat close to the edge, needing to be washed. It wasn’t like her to leave a mess lying about. It was proof she needed to stop, slow down, and pay attention to even the small things.
It wasn’t long until she had the space organised, and all her papers were in neat piles.
Home time—where the inevitable awaited.
Adalia arrived at the house to find Matthias strumming away at his veslo. He immediately stopped when she stepped through the front door.
“Don’t have to stop on my account,” she casually spoke.
Matthias put the veslo down anyway and looked at her with hesitancy. “Can we talk?”
Adalia took her shoes off by the door. “Can I change and bathe first?” she asked.
“Of course,” he replied gently.
Adalia headed into her room, shoes in hand, and closed the door behind her. She wasn’t quite ready to talk about last night’s ordeal, but knew that the longer she avoided him, the more awkward it was likely to get. He could wait a few more minutes, though. Besides, she wasn’t the one that walked away.
After taking her time bathing and changing, Adalia emerged about half an hour later. She wandered out of the room, wearing loose fitting lilac, silk pants that tied at the waist and a cashmere, high neck sweater that was one shade darker. Her damp hair hanging in thick, wavy tendrils down her back.
Matthias had resumed his tune, but eyed her carefully as she entered the room.
Adalia collected items from the pantry for dinner, ignoring his steady gaze.
He spoke first. “Would you like some help?”
“Can you cook?” came her cool reply.
Matthias placed his instrument down and rose from the chair. “Depends on if we are having toast for dinner or not?”
Adalia rolled her eyes. “We are not. We are having a honey, ginger, pineapple, and summer vegetable, chicken curry.”
“Well, in that case . . . no, I can’t cook,” he said as he sat back down.
Skidding to a halt, arms full of ingredients, Adalia stared at Matthias. Shock registering on her face.
Laughter from deep within Matthias’s stomach echoed through the room. “You should see your face right now,” he laughed.
Adalia’s glare didn’t waiver, and she certainly didn’t smile at his humorous act.
Matthias stopped laughing and cleared his throat. “I only jest. How can I help?” he stood again and moved towards her.
Adalia didn’t answer. She simply resumed her duties in the kitchen, loudly banging ingredients down on the counter and shutting drawers with force.
“Hey . . . talk to me,” Matthias murmured as he reached for her arm.
“Don’t. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to kiss me like that, leave me like that and then come back and be funny like that and you certainly don’t get to touch me,” she snapped, pulling away from him.
She busied herself by chopping green capsicums and a brown onion. Tears threatened to spill over, and it wasn’t because of the onion.
“I’m sorry Adalia. Last night shouldn’t have happened. Trust me. You don’t want this,” he pointed to himself.
Adalia whirled, hands on hips. “How would you know what I want?”
Matthias ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I know where I come from and what my title says I am . . . it’s not nice. I don’t belong here in your world. There is too much darkness inside me. You deserve better.”
“You don’t get to decide what I deserve,” she threw at him. “You made me feel so stupid by leaving me last night. I don’t go around just kissing anybody. In fact, you’re the only person I have kissed since arriving in Lucius twelve years ago and now I totally regret it.”
Adalia watched the colour drain from Matthias’s face, but went back to preparing dinner—Shiloh would be here soon.
“What do you mean, the only person?” he asked.
“How else do you want me to explain it?” she replied curtly.
“So, you have never kissed another man since living in Lucius?” Matthias took a step towards her, and she glanced at him sideways.
Ignoring his comment, she moved away to wash the rice. As she circled back, Matthias was leaning against the counter with his arms folded across his chest.
“Adalia?” he prompted.
Huffing, Adalia turned to face him. “Do you need me to repeat myself? Yes, you are the only man I have ever kissed in my entire existence in Lucius. There, are you happy?”
“Kinda,” he said, smirking.
If Adalia wasn’t using the bowl of freshly washed rice for dinner, she would have launched it straight at him. “If you’re going to act like this, you can go away. I don’t need your help.”
“I’m sorry, but how has no one ever kissed you while living here? Someone as beautiful as you should have men crawling on their knees,” Matthias voiced.
“Not all of us have the privilege of fancy lifestyles and the time to parade around our bodies for other people’s viewing. While you were lying about a palace, I was taking care of my sick mother, who passed when I was only fourteen years old. After my mother passed away, I had to take care of the home, Nik, and my father, who felt lost without her. I had to sell eggs and assume cloth mending for other Shadowkin in the village just so we could help father put food on the table.”
Adalia furiously chopped vegetables as she spoke. “We didn’t have money coming out of our ears like you would have. Father became ill when I was in my twenties, so I took care of him and by the time I got my life back, I couldn’t be bothered chasing men. That is the reason I didn’t have men crawling after me. Sure, I had a kiss here and there as a young woman, but none that held value. Now, are you going to help with dinner, or just stand there and make fun of me?” Adalia blurted.
She’d finished cutting and moved everything to a skillet to cook, then went on to the rice. Once it was set to heat on the stovetop, she turned back to Matthias, who looked to be simmering himself.
“Bold of you to presume I had any of those things either, little dove.” His tone was icy. “What I had was pain and suffering. No love or affection from anyone. I also didn’t have money like you imagine I would. It wasn’t a palace I was living in, Ada. It was my own personal hell.”
Adalia flinched. “Well, I’m sorry you had a hard life, but it doesn’t excuse that you’ve completely taken away my right to decide. I get to choose what I want. You don’t have to want me back, but you don’t get to decide you’re not worthy of me. You think you’re sparing me, but I’m hurt all the same.”
She snatched the tablecloth from the cupboard and went outside to the courtyard, hoping Matthias wouldn’t follow.
He did.
“This is why I am leaving in the morning,” he called.
Looking up from her task, she stared at him in shock. “What do you mean, you’re leaving? Why would you want to go back to that atrocity of a place, all because of a kiss? Do you really find me that distasteful?”
“That’s the issue, Ada. I don’t find you distasteful at all. The first time I kissed you in the woods was out of pure want and desire, but the second time . . . that was need. I can’t need you, though. I’m never going to be who you want me to be, who your king thinks I can be. I don’t get to have this.” He gestured towards her home.
“Says who?” Adalia threw at him. “No one is stopping you, not even the king!”
“Do you really think I would ever fit in here? My father would never allow it. Eventually he would find a way to get to me, and once he’s had his fill of turning my body into a bag of broken bones, he would find you—and I don’t even want to imagine what he would do when he did. It’s inevitable,” he replied with venom.
Adalia winced.
“There’s more, Ada . . . something I haven’t told you yet. And as soon as I do, you’ll want to dispose of me yourself,” Matthias said, hesitantly.
“Try me,” Adalia replied coldly.
Sighing, Matthias took a small step towards her, his wings drooping in defeat. “I am the reason those Thorns shot at you the other day.”
“We’ve established this. I know you’re not safe as you like to put it but . . .”
“That’s not what I mean. The day I gave you back your freedom, it cost something in return.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Is everything okay out here?” Nikolas’s voice rang through the courtyard.
Adalia startled. She hadn’t realised he’d arrived. “Yes, it’s fine.”
Nikolas casually stepped outside, never taking his eyes from Matthias. “It sure doesn’t sound like it’s fine.”
Matthias stood up straight. “It’s not fine. And it’s never going to be if I stay here—and if you remain in the king’s army.”
Tension throbbed through the courtyard as the three glanced between one another.
“What do you mean ‘if’ I remain in the king’s army? . . . what has that got to do with any of this, Matthias?” Adalia asked.
“The day I let you go . . . my father—placed a bounty on your head. You are being hunted each time you patrol the Veil. That is why those Thorns shot at you. It was a warning to me and to you. I’m so sorry Ada . . .” Matthias took a step towards her.
Disbelief and hurt filled her mind as she digested his words.
“You chose to let me go,” Adalia said quietly, “and the price was a target on my back. As frustrating as that is, you should have told me. This is yet another example of you deciding for me. You don’t get to choose what I do with this information. Your only responsibility is to give it to me. What I do with it after that is purely my choice,” Adalia said.
“Are you telling me that every time my sister leaves the safety of Lucius and steps into The Grey, her life is at an even greater risk because of you?” Nick stepped in front of Matthias and crossed his arms.
Adalia huffed and pushed her brother aside. “It’s not his fault Nik, just leave it be. I’m not concerned about the bounty. As soon as I signed up to be a part of the king’s army, there was always going to be a target on my back. This won’t stop me from doing what I love.”
“Are you mental?! If you go back out there, they will hunt you down and take you to my father . . . alive. And with what he has planned for you—I’m not sure I will be able to save you again.” Matthias seethed as his wings flared out behind him.
“I don’t appreciate the tone you’re using with my sister.” Nikolas squared his shoulders and took another step towards Matthias.
“Yeah, well, I don’t appreciate you listening to a private conversation that is none of your business.”
“My sister is my business, and I won’t have her being hurt by the likes of you,” Nikolas spat at him.
“Someone like me? Is that supposed to be an insult? You forget I am a prince, a dark one too. Nothing you say to me is something I haven’t heard before, so stop trying.” Matthias laughed. “It’s honestly pathetic. You follow her around like a stray dog, like she even needs you.” Matthias shook his head. “Don’t you have a life? Another girl, one that’s not your sister?”
Adalia watched in horror. Her brother was about to lunge for Matthias as the dark prince unsheathed a dagger from his side. They were going to kill each other in her courtyard. There was no way she was going to clean up blood, not tonight. Not while she was trying not to cry about the fact that he was actually leaving. All because she got too close.
“STOP!” she yelled.
The two men halted in their tracks and spun towards her.
“Nikolas, you know better than that. And Matthias, we don’t act like that here. Both of you need to put away your egos and be grownups. I don’t have the energy for this tonight. I just wanted us to all have a nice dinner and now you two are ruining it.” She hissed. They hesitated, avoiding her gaze.
“Ada–” Matthias started, but she stormed into the house, locking the door behind her.
If they were going to act like beasts, they could stay outside.
Adalia fetched Bone’s dish and filled it with his dinner. “At least the two of us have manners.”
The white wolf scarfed his food as the front door opened and Shiloh stepped through.
“Woah, the tension seems thick in here. Where are the boys?” she asked as she placed her bag down on the counter—handing Adalia a bottle of wine.
“They are outside . . . where they should be,” Adalia said with a huff.
“Oh dear, what happened?”
Adalia sighed. “Just stupid feelings getting in the way. I shouldn’t even care about it, really.”
Shiloh came around the side of the counter and squeezed Adalia’s shoulders.
Adalia wiped a tear. “I shouldn’t like him like I do, Loh—I should hate him. He’s a prince of everything I stand against. I want to hate him.”
Shiloh hugged Adalia again. “I know. I know, Ada. But you don’t.”