Chapter 20
The time for trust
Abird landed in the small tree outside Adalia’s bedroom window and she softly smiled as it sang. A month of Matthias’s absence felt longer than it was.
The day she’d found his note, she wanted to go to him. To tell him she was sorry. To beg him to stay. She’d raced to The Grey, but it had been too late. He was gone. Tears escaped and made their way down to the earth, forever marking the spot where she realised that not only had the prince left, he’d also taken her heart with him. Adalia wanted to check his cabin, but she knew he would be furious if she did and she knew herself it would be too dangerous. He’d made his choice.
She knew he was going—but that didn’t lessen the pain anymore.
Shiloh said he’d accepted her gift with a little hesitation, but that she’d caught the ghost of a smile as he tucked it away. Adalia had been holding onto that thought for the last few weeks. A tiny sliver of hope that he would return to Lucius. Return to her.
Despite the stupid bounty.
Now, home seemed empty without the prince and Bones. Adalia smiled at the memory of the massive wolf that used to sleep at the back door in her courtyard. She’d never really been a dog person—she liked cats and birds—but in the days that Bones lazily dozed in the courtyard or on the floor by the fireplace at night, he’d really wiggled his way into her heart . . . just as his master had.
Adalia sighed. She’d rather stay in bed all day, but there were many items on her to-do list and none of them were going to happen by themselves.
She emerged from the safety of the bedcovers and stretched. Today was the first day off she’d had in over two weeks. She’d thrown herself into her work, grateful for the distraction. Not that work kept her wandering mind from him.
As she patrolled the Veil, she was extra careful—Nikolas insisted she took at least three to four soldiers with her at all times.
In the short time Adalia spent with Matthias, she could see something shifting in him, but it wasn’t like he was becoming someone else. It was more like he was becoming who he was created to be. Strong, brave, kind . . . not that he wasn’t those things already, but she felt when she first met him they came from a dark place, a place where he only knew how to respond with pain. As time brought them closer together, she saw the softer moments, the stolen glances, the smiles and his song . . . the pain in his song was pivoting.
Like a wound left untended, but she knew if she could just show him he was seen, that he was worthy of love, then the wound that was raw and festering within his soul would heal.
Adalia bathed, dressed, and tied her hair up before going to the kitchen to fix herself a tea and make some breakfast. Red papaya with vanilla yogurt, cinnamon toasted oats, diced strawberries, and a sprinkle of blueberries with honey drizzled on top. Outside, she sat in the sun, legs crossed on top of the daybed. Watching the bees amongst the geraniums as she ate.
A month of silence—not even a note.
Adalia had allowed a small morsel of hope to remain inside her heart that he would send her a message of some kind, to let her know he was okay. But she’d been disappointed. Her king’s words rang loud and true in her mind.
Everyone has free will.
Matthias needed to choose his own path. If she was on it, her heart would say yes, but if it wasn’t . . . pain would come.
But, in time, so would healing.
After finishing her breakfast, she tidied the kitchen. Then there was nothing to do but start the day.
Sunlight bathed her body as she walked into town. It was a glorious day in Lucius, and Adalia filled her lungs with the crisp, fresh air. Glancing down at the list in her hand, she read over the items she needed from the grocers.
Butter
Eggs
Soap flakes
Loose leaf black vanilla tea
Green apples
Dried bay leaves
Adalia folded the small sheet of paper and placed it into her skirt pocket. After she was done at the grocers, she would head over to see James. He’d sent word that the damascus steel she’d requested was done. After making Matthias’s dagger, she wanted to make another. It had been so wonderful to work with, and she wanted to add a blade to her ever-growing collection.
A bell rang throughout the Kingdom, and a roar of victory lifted to the skies. Adalia grinned as she glanced around the store. People were cheering and clapping. This would never grow old.
Another Shadowkin had chosen Lucius as their forever kingdom . . . she hoped it would stay that way.
Adalia paid the attendant and thanked them as she left the store. Next stop, The Blazing Anvil.
James had been expecting her, so all her items were wrapped and ready to go. They chatted before Adalia headed off, promising to return later in the week to work on a new blade design together.
Walking past the alleyway that led to the music store, her mind wandered to the prince.
What of Matthias? What was he experiencing right now? Did he believe the word on the dagger? That he was worthy . . . that he could have those things his heart desired the most? That he was worthy of love?
Thoughts plagued her mind as Adalia finished in town. Maybe she should visit her parents. She hadn’t seen them in a few days and a cup of tea and a chat with her mother was definitely what she needed, but first, these groceries needed to be taken home.
“Where’s father?” Adalia asked her mother casually.
Her mother’s light chestnut hair was in a loose, but neat bun at the back of her neck, her brown eyes dancing with joy as she clutched a cup of tea in her hands.
They sat in the garden, snacking on freshly baked lemon tartlets and miniature pink meringues. The air was cool, and the sun had just the right amount of bite to it as it cast its rays upon their faces.
“You know him. If he’s not here at home, he’s out in the bay fishing. I hope he catches lots, as I would love to have baked fish for dinner tonight.”
Adalia munched on a meringue. “Oh yes, that sounds delicious.”
“Then I suppose we will just have to hope. Now, tell me. How have you been?”
“I’ve met someone,” Adalia softly spoke as she sipped her tea.
“You seemed to carry a little more pep in your step when you arrived.” Adalia’s mother smiled sweetly. “Who is he, and where did you meet him?”
“Let’s just say he’s nothing like you’d expect him to be,” Adalia murmured.
Her mother’s eyes sparkled. “Tell me everything.”
“You know my minor incident with Oscuro?”
“A mother doesn’t forget details like that when it comes to their children.”
Adalia shifted in her chair, heat warming her face. “Well, I may have become friendly with the prince of Oscuro. His name is Matthias.”
“Oh yes, I’ve heard about him,” Adalia’s mother chuckled lightly.
“What do you mean?!”
Reaching for a lemon tart, Adalias mother smiled. “Surely you don’t expect a tall, dark and handsome man to walk the streets of Lucius and not be on the tongues of all who see him? Plus, you have a very protective brother who loves you–he may have mentioned something.”
There was really no point in ever hiding anything from her mother. Adalia knew that and loved it all the same. She also made a mental note to give Nik a beating.
“Do I get to know all the details, or do I have to pry it out of you?” her mother asked, humour lacing her voice.
“Well, I mean…what has Nik already told you?”
“Not enough. I want all the details. Tell me the story.”
“It’s a long story, but he was having troubles with his father and I feared for his safety, so I invited him to stay in Lucius for a while. That stay turned into feelings from me–not wanting him to leave.” Adalia replied as she looked off into the distance.
“But he has left?”
Nodding, Adalia smiled weakly.
Her mother looked at her fondly. “He’ll be back.”
Chuckling, Adalia sipped at her tea again. “How do you know?”
“Because you, my dear, are amazing. He would be crazy not to,” her mother smiled. “Why did you feel you couldn’t tell me about this straight away?”
Adalia knew her mother wouldn’t be upset by the news, but she felt a little guilty all the same because this was the first time she was mentioning the prince.
“There was just so much going on. I wasn’t sure how long he would stay and I didn’t know how I felt about him until after he left.”
“And how do you feel about him?” Her mother asked gently.
“Like a piece of me is missing now that he’s gone…”
“Do you feel safe around him?”
“Yes . . . yes I do. More safe than anyone ever before.”
Adalia’s mother sipped her tea and smiled softly. “Has he been respectful of your values and boundaries?”
Nodding, Adalia knew deep down that there hadn’t been one moment since meeting the prince that he hadn’t respected her or made her feel less than he because of her values. “Yes, he has. He’s not perfect by any means, but who is? There is a sadness in him though and I want to draw it out and replace it with joy if he will let me.”
“Do you think he won’t?”
“I don’t know what to think. I have no idea what is going on inside his head and I have no way of knowing unless I go to him in Oscuro, but that’s almost impossible right now.”
“Yes, I would rather you stayed on this side of the Veil, but what is stopping you from going to him?” her mother asked.
“Well, the main reason for staying put is because there is a large sum of reward money on my head for any Thorn who captures me alive and then there’s the fear of going to him and finding out he doesn’t want me the way I want him.” Adalia replied.
It took a few seconds for her mother to speak. “How did you get a bounty on your head?”
Adalia shrugged lightly. “The King of Oscuro didn’t take lightly his son setting me free and I presume it’s the price we both now have to pay.”
“Oh Ada, I am so sorry. What a tremendous burden for you to carry, and Matthias must be internally battling guilt and shame. Have you talked about it to one another?”
“We tried. It didn’t turn out so well, and he left. I don’t know what to do, mother,” Adalia whispered softly.
Reaching across the table, her mother squeezed her hand. “For starters, I need you to promise to be as safe as you can be. Your incident in Oscuro has left a scar on my heart and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you to True Death. I know you are trained for these situations, but please promise me you won’t hurry out and do something rash in the name of love.”
“I promise, mother,” Adalia murmured.
Adalia’s mother sniffed back some tears. “Now I know it fixes nothing right now, but shall we do some baking? As we cook, maybe the solution to your predicament will come to you. There isn’t a bone in my body that doesn’t think you already have the answer inside of you, my daughter.”
Sighing, Adalia rose from her chair. “I know what my heart wants, but sometimes I need to listen to my head and right now, they are both saying different things.”
Together, they cleared the table and headed inside. Thoughts of the blue-eyed prince circulated in Adalias’ mind and her heart ached.
Maybe if she passed by the tear in the Veil near his cabin, she might catch a glimpse of him or hear his beautiful voice. If she could just see or hear him for a moment and know that he was okay, then she felt her heart would be at ease.
“Are you sure about this?” Shiloh asked nervously.
“I just need to know that he’s alright.” Adalia replied as she got down from her horse.
They were on patrol together and had reached the end of the Veil where Matthias’s cabin was located. Adalia stood next to the tear and listened, but could hear nothing. No sad, melodic sounds drifted in the air. More than anything, she wished to hear something, a single strum of his veslo, anything that would let her know he was alive.
Sighing, Adalia stepped away and walked back towards Shiloh. “He made his choice, I guess. I just hope it was the right one for him.”
“Have you told your mother about him?” her white-haired friend asked.
Adalia pulled herself up into the saddle and clicked her horse on. “I have. She was very understanding. I mean, at first she was a little concerned about the whole bounty thing, but she trusts me and I know both her and father support me no matter what. I’m more concerned about the sad prince in the kingdom next door.”
Shiloh nodded. “I think he will be fine, Adalia. He’s a grown man. You have to trust that some of the goodness of Lucius touched his heart and that, if he is ready, if it’s meant to be, he will come and find you.”
The women walked in silence for a while, horse hooves scuffing the ground beneath them, the only sound in the peaceful forest.
“Would you accept him as a friend if he one day came back?” Adalia asked Shiloh quietly.
“I’d be friends with anyone who was that good looking.”
“LOH!” Adalia exclaimed.
Shiloh grinned. “Ada, if he’s who your heart beats for, then I will stand by you both.”
Adalia sighed. “Is it really that obvious?”
A giggle erupted from Shiloh, and her sweet laughter rang through the trees. “It’s definitely obvious—to me, anyway. I’ve known you too long. I see the way your eyes light up when he enters the room, the way your breath catches when he is near. You’ve never been like that with anyone before. Not even that cute Lightner soldier who asked you out all those months ago made you react the way you do when Matthias is close by.”
Adalia sighed. “Do you think Nikolas knows?”
“Anyone with eyeballs knows, Ada,” Shiloh answered as they plodded along.
It was true and Adalia couldn’t deny it any longer—he was who her heart beat for.