33
My emotions were battling for space within me, pushing me in every direction at once. My storm magic swirled in my core as I broke apart, but I tried my hardest to push it back down.
I wasn’t bound.
Not yet.
But I could be.
Because my mother…she was alive.
And she had been here with me this whole time. She had hidden her identity and broken me out of the Stormvault. Donika thought she was dead, but she had snuck into The Stone Palace right under her nose to free me.
Each revelation had more questions bubbling to my lips, but none of them would come free.
Tears streamed down my face, and I hastily wiped them away with the back of my sleeve, my eyes on Zion and Annelise.
Why did this feel more like a betrayal than a homecoming?
Why had they kept this from me?
“I can’t imagine what you are thinking right now—” Zion started, cutting off when he registered my bewildered expression.
“That’s right, you can’t,” I bit out, the backs of my eyes stinging with fresh tears.
“But we can explain everything,” Annelise finished for him, standing.
She held her palms out to me, as if calming a scared animal.
I backed away towards the door, my vision flooded by my tears. Nik’s jaw was set, his shoulders tense.
He hadn’t known, either.
I thought she was dead. That Donika had killed her in The War of Siraleth. Had she been merciful? Had she not been able to bring herself to kill her own mother? Had Annelise been in hiding all this time, only to come out when I needed her help? Surely she hadn’t been in the castle this whole time, right under Donika’s nose…
Zion had known her true identity this entire time, and he had kept it from me. Isaac had to have known, too. Betrayal stung freshly in my gut as I shook my head back and forth.
A choked sob escaped me as I turned, reaching for the door handle.
“Diana, wait—”
But her words were lost behind me as I escaped into the hallway, greedily drinking in deep breaths of fresh air. I continued on, up and up the spiral staircase and out of the cottage underground.
I needed air.
It was Nik’s voice at my back now, calling out my name, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
I didn’t stop until my feet were tired and I didn’t know where I was.
I blinked back my tears and realized I stood in the remains of an old bookshop somewhere in Siraleth, the rubble surrounding me. I glanced up to the sky as thunder cracked overhead, and I bit my lip as I tried to push my storm magic back down. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but I didn’t know how to process these emotions without them swallowing me alive.
My mother was alive.
She was alive.
Why hadn’t she told me earlier?
Nik gave me my space, respecting that I needed time alone to process. He kept a safe distance, watching over me from a crested hill in the distance.
His eyes were on me always, but I felt so alone.
I desperately wanted Tess, but I didn’t know where she was.
I had never known my mother. This is the woman who stashed me with a human family in the mortal realm until my storm magic awakened. She had spell bound me, hoping I would never find out I was a witch at all.
She had left me with strangers, never knowing my birth family. Never knowing my true lineage. Never knowing I was a witch of the Kotova bloodline, and that I was the key to ending the war in Istmere.
And she had never come back for me.
Betrayal was fresh in my gut when I finally sank to my knees, a cloud of dust rising around me. The sun was setting over the horizon as Nik picked his way down the hill, careful not to loosen any of the rocks on the ledge. He found me on my hands and knees, pulling me into a tight embrace.
“I’m so sorry, Diana. I’m so sorry.” His hand stroked my hair in a soothing motion as he held me tight, his other swirling across my back.
A humorless laugh bubbled to my lips as I recognized the harsh contrast between this and the last time I had been betrayed. Nik was the one comforting me now, and I fell into him. I clung to his shirt with my fists, leaving streaks of wet tears across it.
And he held me that way until I finally stopped.
At some point all the tears had escaped me, and I was left dry and numb, kneeling in the rubble of Siraleth.
Nik wordlessly picked me up, carrying me back to the cottage underground in his arms. The last thing I wanted to see was Annelise and Zion right now, but there was nowhere else to go. He tucked me wordlessly into my bed and immediately went for Tess.
He must have explained to her what had happened, because she quietly crawled into bed with me and wrapped herself around me. She held me tightly and rubbed circles on my back until I was able to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion.
She was with me when I woke, still wrapped around me, her chocolate brown hair cascading across the pillow.
I still felt numb.
I had cried myself empty last night, and I knew that the numbness would soon retreat in favor of anger.
And I welcomed it.
I would rather feel anger than nothing at all.
I couldn’t wrap my head around Annelise having been with us this entire time, hiding her identity. To what end? Would she never have revealed herself if we hadn’t needed the bloodline to complete the binding spell? Would she have gone on as ‘Liss,’ the member of the council who had helped rescue me from Akra—forever?
I didn’t know why she hadn’t told me who she was in the first place. I understood needing to keep her identity a secret when she snuck into The Stone Palace right under Donika’s nose, but after that? And Zion knew her true identity this entire time. Isaac, too. It was clear Nik, Tess, and Puck were as in the dark as I was. She had done a remarkable job of keeping her identity a secret with the help of the glamour potions.
My entire life she had still been alive…and she had never come back for me.
She let me think that the mortal family she placed me with was my blood, and she never looked back. She had sent me there to keep me safe, but why hadn’t she returned?
I tear slid down my cheek as Tess stirred next to me. I wiped it away with the back of my sleeve and stifled a sob as it rose in my throat.
Even if Annelise had wanted to wait for Istmere to be safe again, she had to have known that I was the key. Alastir, the seer, knew as much. The amount of magic I had was prophesied, and she would have known exactly who they were talking about when they heard only a powerful Stormshade witch with too much magic could end this war.
She could see how much I was struggling with controlling my magic and chasing down empty leads about the Kotova grimoire. She could have confessed at any point. That she, too, was a powerful Stormshade, and that the grimoire had once been hers before it was mine.
Things felt clearer now, knowing the truth. The way she had looked at me when she had come to the Stormvault. The way she had been protective over me and adamant about my healing when my storm had turned on me.
But she wasn’t only my mother…she was Donika’s, too.
And Donika hadn’t had the strength to kill her.
Somehow, my mother had made it out alive.
Tess stirred again, and I shuffled slightly to encourage her to wake. She wiped sleep from her eyes as she stretched, letting out a groan.
“What time is it?” she asked, throwing an arm across my stomach.
“I’ve got no idea,” I replied, my eyes trained on the ceiling.
“Has Nik been back?” she asked, searching my face.
We hadn’t even gotten to have the mandatory best friend breakdown after I’d had sex for the first time. I had been thrust right back into more betrayal and lies. A humorless laugh escaped me at the thought. I could see on Tess’ face that she could tell something had changed between us, but I hadn’t been able to talk to her about it yet.
“I don’t know, I just woke up,” I replied, turning to face her.
I rest my head on the silk pillowcase as another tear escaped, staining it with a wet droplet.
“I know you might not want to hear this, but it could be good news,” she offered with a shrug.
I pinned her with a glare that had her laughing, grasping my hand in hers. “Nobody knows Donika like your mother. Nobody. And now you can bind your magic and we can finally move against Donika. Plus, we have had some trouble deciphering some of the spells in the Kotova grimoire. She will know them.”
“That’s all true,” I replied, my lips thin. “So why didn’t she tell me earlier?”
“I don’t know, Diana. She must have her reasons. Maybe she was afraid of how you would react. Or that too much had passed for there to ever be a future between you two.”
I shook my head, another tear slipping free. “I would have welcomed her back if she hadn’t kept it from me.”
“Would you have?” Tess asked with a raised brow. “I’ve known you for a long time and…it might not be one of your best qualities, but you internalize everything. You hold everything inside and let it fester until it turns to anger and hate. You are the worst grudge holder I know.”
“I forgave Nik,” I pointed out as I wiped away the tears. “And he betrayed me.”
“He did, but he hadn’t meant to,” Tess mused. Her head snapped back towards me, her mouth open. “What do you mean you forgave him?”
She gave me a gentle nudge that had a soft laugh escaping my lips. “I forgave him for everything.”
She raised her brow at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Tess never failed to put a smile on my face.
“You naughty little witch! We will have to unpack that later,” she told me as she moved to sit up.
I joined her, my chest sore from all the crying I had done in the past twenty-four hours. I nodded in agreement. “Yes, later. First, we need to bind my magic.”
“Agreed. That is our number one priority. Are you ready to see her again?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Not at all, but I don’t have a choice. I need her blood for the spell, and her magic. The sooner I bind my magic, the better.”
“Who will you bind to?” she asked, throwing the blankets off to stand. “You know I would bind to you in a heartbeat, but I don’t know if I am a strong enough witch to tether your magic.”
I had thought about that, too. “I was planning to ask Nik.”
“Even before your reconciliation?” Tess moved to the window and pulled the blinds open, letting the sun stream in. I squinted against it, but moved to join her. There would be plenty of time to wallow in my self-pity later.
Today, we would bind my magic.
Today, I would become the fierce storm witch that Donika had no hope of defeating.
“Yes, even before our reconciliation,” I replied.
“I think you forgave him before you even realized you had,” Tess pointed out. “Binding your magic to his? That’s serious.”
I nodded. “He is quite possibly the strongest witch I know.”
“He is definitely the strongest witch we know. Other than you, of course.”
“Of course,” I replied with a laugh.
I changed out of yesterday’s clothes and splashed water on my face to help wake me up. I avoided my reflection in the mirror, pulling my hair back away from my face into a ponytail. I wasn’t ready to face Annelise and Zion, but as Tess had said, I had no other choice.
We found Puck and Nik in their rooms, and they joined us in the hallway. Without a word Nik wrapped me into a tight embrace and I let myself sink into him.
Things had changed between us, but I still had an important question to ask him. If he didn’t agree to bind his magic to mine, I wasn’t sure who I would turn to. He had every right to deny me, holding half of my storm magic would be no easy feat, and it would change both of our lives forever.
“Can we get a minute alone?” I asked Tess over Nik’s shoulder.
He still held me tightly against him.“Of course. Meet you in Zion’s office in ten?” she asked as she moved towards the spiral staircase that would bring them up out of the cottage underground.
I nodded in response, and Tess and Puck left us alone in the hallway. I dipped into the library and Nik followed, wanting more privacy. I moved towards the table in the center that still had our books stacked atop it and shuffled onto the desk, resting my feet on the chair.
“There’s something I want to ask you,” I told him, meeting his gaze. He stood across from me, leaning over the chair I rested my feet on.
“Anything, firecracker.” His eyes were a soft blue in the dim lighting of the library, and for a moment I was almost lost in them.
“You can say no, if you want to. I don’t want you to feel any pressure to say yes or feel obligated in any way.” I was rambling, fidgeting with the hem of my shirtsleeves.
If he said no, I would have to turn to Zion or even Warrick. I wasn’t sure I wanted my magic bound to either of them for an eternity.
“I understand.” He smiled softly, reaching across to rest a hand on my knee. “You can ask me anything, Diana.”
“I’ll just get it over with then. Will you bind to me? I need a powerful witch to bind my magic to, and there isn’t anyone else I would rather share this burden with and—”
“Yes,” he cut me off with his simple reply, as if he had already known exactly what I was going to ask.
“Yes?” I asked, holding his gaze.
“Yes, Diana. I would do anything for you. You still doubt that?”
“No. I don’t doubt that I just—” I shook my head back and forth, unsure what I had been thinking, exactly.
He moved closer, his hands resting on my knees as he leaned over me. The scent of his body wash wafted off him, and it took everything in me to keep my eyes on his.
“I would happily bind to you, Diana. It’s you and me. In this life and the next.”
“In this life and the next,” I whispered against him as my hands found his neck, bringing his mouth down to mine.
He kissed me softly at first, tentatively. He knew I was fragile at the moment, the news of my mother being alive still had me reeling. I kissed him back hungrily, and he quickly matched my intensity.
He pulled the chair away and my legs fell back against the table before his hands found the inside of both of my knees, spreading them apart. He stood between them and I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer. My hands moved to his back and up his shirt, running over the taut muscle there. I wanted nothing more than to forget everything else, to melt into him.
He nipped at my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and I arched into him, my fingernails digging into his tanned skin as I groaned into his mouth. One of his hands was buried in my hair, the other on my hip, holding me against him. His mouth moved to my cheek, my jaw, my neck, and further down under the collar of my shirt. His hand moved from my hip to dip under the hem of my shirt, traveling over the bare expanse of skin on my stomach.
His hand moved higher, the shirt coming with it as he cupped my breast, letting out a low groan himself. The library door opening had us springing apart, but to my relief it was only Puck.
“Ten minutes?” Puck laughed, pointing at his watch with a grin.
“I’m coming,” Nik groaned, turning back towards me.
“I wish,” I whispered, my voice ragged as I caught my breath.
Nik turned to me with a wicked grin, his eyebrow raised as Puck slipped back out the door so we could gather ourselves.
“Naughty little thing,” he crooned, running a hand through his hair with a laugh.
Despite everything that had happened yesterday, I found myself smiling. I rose from the table and adjusted my clothing, making sure my hair was still pulled back and wasn’t mussed or out of place.
“Let’s do this,” I said, my voice holding more resolve than I felt.
Nik turned towards the door, holding his hand out to me as he said, “Are you ready to bind yourself to me, forever?”