35
We hadn’t been able to find Isaac when we returned to the cottage, the following days consumed with plans of how to move against Akra. We would have to fill Isaac in once he returned—whenever that was. We assumed he was connecting with our resistance forces in Prins.
The library had turned into a full-on war room, complete with parchment maps strewn across the tables and little figurines signifying our forces, and Donika’s.
We didn’t have an exact number of how big Donika’s numbers were, but with the help of Zion’s intel, we knew that they crushed ours in comparison. But with my storm magic being bound, we were banking on not needing as many men. We had to consider that we wouldn’t have the element of surprise, after she sent her forces to attack us in Prins, she was expecting our retaliation.
We hovered around the table in the newly appointed war room, the pieces moving about the board as we tested different strategies.
“If we can get someone to open the gate from the inside, we can use the secret passages we escaped through to access the castle,” Zion pointed out, moving a piece towards the back of the mountain.
“You think it will come to that?” Annelise asked, pointing towards her pieces on the battlefield at the base of the mountain. “You don’t think she will want to meet us out here with her forces?”
“I think she will,” Zion agreed, “but I think Donika herself won’t show her face. I believe a smaller contingent of us will need to breach the castle walls to bring her down.”
I nodded in agreement. I didn’t see Donika facing us on the battlefield herself, she would send her soldiers, Araneoch, and Noctani to do her bidding, but she would certainly take all the glory if she was victorious.
“I think our fastest and most powerful soldiers should breach the castle through the secret passageways. They are narrow, only allowing for soldiers to pass through single file.”
“Agreed,” Nik replied, moving his own piece towards the back of the mountain. “But how many soldiers will she keep in her immediate guard to protect her?”
“Knowing Donika?” Zion laughed humorlessly as he ran a hand down his face. “Not many. She might be egotistical, but she is proud. She will have Noctani, and Corian most certainly.”
“And how do we handle the Araneoch and Noctani?” Tess asked, her arms folded across her chest. “We haven’t battled them yet. We had a difficult time taking down the Araneoch as it was on the training field that day, but the Noctani? We have no idea if they will fall in battle the same way, if our weapons will even work against them.”
Zion nodded thoughtfully. “There’s no reason to think they won’t, the Araneoch weren’t immune to our weapons. It is a chance we are going to have to take and pray that she hasn’t had that much success with them. When I left The Stone Palace, there were only a few. Just short of ten if I had to hazard a guess.”
Nik turned towards me, his brow furrowed. “Have you had any more visions about Donika or her Noctani?”
I shook my head. “No, I haven’t had a vision about her in a concerningly long time. I haven’t dream walked in weeks. It makes me think Corian is actively blocking me.”
“We might need to dream walk intentionally to see what they are up to,” Tess replied with a nod. “It’s dangerous if she runs into Corian, but otherwise it would give us the upper hand…which would be invaluable.”
“I have to agree,” Nik replied with a nod. “We should plan to try to spy on her at least once or twice before we make any moves. And I still would want Isaac’s input when he returns from Prins.”
My eyes moved back and forth between Nik and Tess, shocked they were getting along so well and agreeing on something for once. Nik wasn’t the biggest fan of Tess when they had first met, but it appeared they had moved past that.
Plotting war strategies had kept me busy, not allowing me any spare time to overthink my relationship with Annelise. We hadn’t spoken since the binding ceremony. I was still angry with her, but I didn’t want to unpack those emotions yet. I wanted to plot against Donika, and deal with everything else later.
“How many are we thinking for the castle attack, ten men or so?” Zion asked, studying the map.
“Give or take.” I shrugged. “I’ll be going, obviously, but I think Nik should stay back.”
“What?” He turned towards me, an expression of hurt crossing his features. “I’m one of the strongest witches, and I wield shadows. You’ll need me there.”
“I wield shadows now too, remember?” I asked, a dark shadow snaking out from my raised palm to prove my point. “Have you forgotten that if you die, I die? And vice versa. We can’t risk one of us being taken out before we even get to her. Only those of us in this room know that we are bound, but it’s still a risk we can’t take.”
Nik appeared as if he was about to argue, but he bit his lip, his gaze falling to the map. He knew I was right, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
“Annelise and I will be with you,” Zion confirmed as he met my gaze.
“Is that wise?” I asked, my brow raised. “Does she know Annelise is alive?”
“We must assume she knows I’m out there…somewhere. She let me live that day on the battlefield, but she hasn’t seen me since. I’ve stayed out of her way, but I will stand by no longer. If my presence can help in any way, I need to be there,” Annelise replied, her mouth tight.
“And can you do it?” I asked, my jaw set.
“Do what?” she asked, her stern gaze holding mine.
“Watch me kill Donika. She is your daughter, after all. I can’t have you second guessing at the last moment and getting in the way.”
“I won’t get in the way,” she protested, slamming her fist down on the table and rattling the figurines.
“You wouldn’t do it intentionally, but she is your daughter,” I replied, my voice tight.
“As are you,” she countered, raising her chin. “I understand what needs to be done. I will not let her continue to terrorize this realm, or the ones I love any longer.”
I nodded, holding her gaze. I could see where I got my stubbornness from.
“Then it’s decided, you’ll join us. But make no mistake, I am breaching the castle to kill Donika, not capture her.”
“I understand,” she replied, her voice cold.
“The same goes for you,” I told Zion, turning my gaze on him. “If you are a hinderance in any way, if you stop me from taking her down—”
“I won’t,” he replied, his eyes sad as they held mine. “I have seen firsthand what Donika has done. I have already turned my back on her. The little girl I raised has been dead for a long, long time. I am ready for what is to come.”
I gave a curt nod and turned my attention back towards the map.
“So we will have five to ten of our fastest, strongest, witches breach the castle with me. The remainder of our forces will meet hers out on the battlefield here.” I pointed towards the open plains at the bottom of the hill The Stone Palace resided on. “What do you think our final numbers are?” I asked.
“It’s hard to say without confirmation from Isaac, but I would have to say we are just shy of twenty-five hundred men and women ready and willing to fight. We lost close to a third of our forces in the battle at Prins.”
I swallowed hard, bile rising in my throat. We had estimated Donika had at least five thousand men, maybe more.
“So, the tide of this battle will depend on me,” I replied with a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers.
If I could infiltrate the castle and kill Donika before we lost too many of our soldiers on the battlefield, we could take Akra. If the battle raged on between our forces, we would lose.
“No pressure.” Tess laughed, giving me a gentle nudge.
Puck came into the library then with a tray of food and drinks, and we swarmed him as if we hadn’t eaten in days. It had been almost a week since we had been bound, but the feeling of Nik’s ember in my core was still something to get used to.
As he moved towards the door, further away from me, I could feel it in my bones. I knew exactly where he was without even glancing up from the map. It was as if we were magnets, always aware of where the other is, but pulled together no matter what.
I raised my eyes to him, and he shot me a knowing glance over his shoulder, as if he, too, felt the distance between us now. When we had bound ourselves…I had no idea the effect it would have on us.
I could study the map until my eyes glazed over and my face turned blue, but the odds were not in our favor. If a group of us couldn’t breach the castle and kill Donika, we would lose this battle. It would be years and years before we could rebuild a force big and powerful enough to move against her again, and most of us would likely need to retreat to the mortal realm to escape her.
I threw my head back, shaking my hair out behind me. Staring at the map for so long was beginning to give me a headache. Or maybe it was the fact that we were walking into certain death.
I still had a knot in my stomach about our forces facing down Donika’s creatures born of dark magic. We had faced the Araneoch before and had seen what a force they were. I had only seen the Noctani in my dream walking, and a chill ran down my spine at the thought of their fangs and their black, lifeless eyes.
She was sure to surround herself with Noctani to protect her, and they could siphon my magic if they got too close. They would need to be dealt with first, they were the biggest threat to us.
My hand moved involuntarily to touch Stormslayer tucked against my thigh, and I closed my eyes against the feel of cold steel. I would need to carry throwing knives and a sword as well, which meant Nik and I had a lot of training to do.
We hadn’t set a date to move against her yet, we had to wait for Isaac to return. He had been gone just over a week and he hadn’t left a note, we had no idea when to expect him back.
I wanted to move against her sooner rather than later. The anxiety building up to this would threaten to undo me, and I didn’t want to lose my nerve. I had killed Shades in the battle at Prins, but this was different.
This was my sister.
I had been imprisoned by her, tortured by her, and still a pit formed in my stomach at the thought of what I had to do. What I must do. Not only for myself, but for all the Shades in Istmere.
As long as she lived, she would never stop killing innocents. Murdering Stormshades. Controlling people and mutilating them with her black magic. She needed to be stopped once and for all.
Nik returned to my side with a slice of something that appeared to be pizza, which he offered me. I shook my head, the taste of bile still raw in my mouth.
“No thanks, I can’t stomach anything at the moment.”
“I know you, Diana. When the time comes, you won’t hesitate.”
“I know,” I replied, my gaze falling to the sharp iron peaks of the castle on the map. “But what does that say about me? That I would kill my own sister without hesitation?”
“It says that you care about the people of this realm,” he replied, his eyes soft as he placed a hand on my shoulder, turning me towards him. “That you wouldn’t subject them to another fifteen years of suffering under a tyrant. That you recognize Shades of any kind should be safe in their own homeland, not hunted for the magic they were born with. Or experimented on or sacrificed on the whims of a mad woman. Donika is the Black Heart, and you are incredibly brave for going up against her. You are the queen Istmere needs.”
“Incredibly brave?” I asked, a humorless laugh escaping me. “Or incredibly stupid.”
“Brave,” he replied, his eyes darkening. “You are the bravest woman I know.”
“You must not know that many women,” I teased, nudging his side.
He choked on his pizza with a snort and wrapped his arm around me.
“You’d better watch yourself, Firecracker.”
“Or what?” I asked with a devious grin. “You’ll punish me?”
“I just might have to,” he replied, swallowing hard.
He held my heated gaze, his presence tangible in my core. I had to admit, the sex had been good the first time, but now that we were bound?
Mind blowing.
It was as if he could read my mind and I could read his. I couldn’t wait until our meeting ended for the night and we could crawl back into bed together. It had taken Tess and Puck a lot of convincing to get us here in the first place, we had been tangled together in the sheets all week.
I had never believed in soulmates before, but that is exactly what this binding felt like.
Soulmates.
Puck came up behind Nik and grabbed him in a headlock, breaking our trance. He gave me an apologetic smile as Puck shuffled him away to eat at one of the tables with him. Tess joined me, but I couldn’t stomach anything tonight with thoughts of war heavy on my mind. She ate while we stared at the map thoughtfully.
I had never planned a battle before, and I hoped we were making the right decisions. I knew that Zion and Annelise were experienced in the art of warfare, but I couldn’t help wanting Isaac’s opinion on our plan, too.
As they always did when left unoccupied, my thoughts wandered to my troubles. I still wasn’t ready to speak with Annelise yet, but I knew it was inevitable.
I loved my mortal mother with my whole heart, and it almost felt like a betrayal to be so relieved that Annelise was alive and well. I was still bitter she hadn’t revealed her identity to me sooner, and there was still a lot we needed to unpack between us when the time came.
I needed to pick off one problem at a time, and right now our biggest problem was Donika.
Once we had eaten dinner and hammered out our plans with Saanvi and Kenna, we decided to turn in for the night. Tess couldn’t help but wiggle her eyebrows at me when she saw I was retiring to Nik’s room and not my own.
I had been spending every night there.
I slipped inside and took a long, warm soak in the tub while I waited for Nik. I sank into the claw-foot tub and lathered myself with the decadent soaps he had never made use of.
“Diana?” I could hear him calling from the bedroom.
“In here!” I called back.
Nik rounded the corner to the washroom with an eyebrow raised.
“You’re ready for me, are you?” He leaned over the tub, placing a gentle kiss against my mouth.
“I’m ready for bed,” I teased, splashing him with the water.
My hair was pulled back so it wouldn’t get wet, and Nik ran his hands into it, grasping it and tilting my head back towards his.
“Have I told you that I love you?” he asked, his tone wistful.
“A time or two.” I smiled against his mouth as he lowered his lips to mine.
Kissing Nik felt like the first time every time. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, the heat in my core, a tickle running up my back and the urge to giggle. His magic and mine swirled right under our skin, mingling. Our magic was one and the same now.
We each still had our affinities, but they were bound to one another. It was both incredible and terrifying at the same time.
“Are you ok?” he asked, pulling away and sitting on the stool beside the tub.
He dipped his hand into the warm water, running it up and down my leg in a soothing motion.
I leaned back and closed my eyes, groaning at the sensation. Every touch felt like heaven with him. He grasped my ankle in his hand and my eyes popped open to meet his, a devious grin across his lips.
“I’m fine,” I replied, cocking my head to the side and daring him to stop.
He resumed his soothing motions, stopping at my knee and making his way back down.
“I want you to know I understand what a hard thing it is that we are about to do.” He held my gaze as he spoke, his voice soft.
“I know you understand,” I replied gently.
“You are not alone in this, Diana. Whatever you need from me, I’m here for you. Tell me what I can do to make this easier for you.”
“I wish you could be there with me,” I replied, running the water over my shoulders.
My breasts were hidden beneath the bubbles but as I stretched back the peaks of them appeared as they crested the water, and Nik’s gaze immediately heated.
“I’m trying to have a serious conversation here,” Nik admonished, peeking at me from under his eyelashes.
“I know.” I laughed, leaning back again so that my breasts crested the surface of the water once more.
“Diana…” his voice was both teasing and laced with desire. “Is this your way of trying to change the subject?”
“Maybe,” I admitted, rubbing the loofa over the skin of my abdomen.
“There’s nothing you have to hide from me. I want all of you, always. Every piece of you, even the parts you try to hide away. I know you are strong, but you don’t have to be strong all the time. You’re allowed to feel emotions other than anger.”
I leaned my head back against the tub and closed my eyes, biting my lip. How could he read my mind so completely? I know the bond didn’t offer that much, as his thoughts were still a mystery to me.
“I’m scared,” I admitted, sinking further into the tub.
He gave my knee a squeeze beneath the water. “I know.”
“I’m scared what kind of person this will make me. I know that she’s evil, I know what she’s done, but I also know I will be changed when all of this is said and done. What is the price I will have to pay for this? What piece of my soul will die when I do this?” I shook my head. “I’m scared I won’t be able to do it when it truly comes down to it. I’m scared that if I do, I’ll never come back from it. That I’ll never be the same. I’m scared you’ll look at me differently—”
Nik cut off my words as he stood, pulling the t-shirt over his head and revealing the tattoos that swirled along his chest and neck, down his bicep. He held my eyes as his hands moved to his belt buckle.
“I will never look at you differently.”
He slid his pants off, then his briefs, climbing into the tub with me. He sat facing me, our legs twined together.
“You say that now, but you might,” I told him, raising my chin in defiance.
“I won’t. Diana Kotova, I have been in love with you since the moment I met you. I fell first. How could I not when you are so strong, and fierce, and kind? You will be changed by the time the war is over. We all will. But know that no matter what happens, I will be by your side.”
A tear escaped, running down my cheek and falling into the water before us with a soft plop. Nik leaned forwards to rub the tear from my cheek, but all he managed to do was rub soap onto my skin.
I choked out a laugh as I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him towards me. His hands were on my legs beneath the water as our mouths met, and a jolt of electricity ran up my spine. He captured my mouth with his, his hands finding my ankles and tugging me forwards and against him. I slid into his lap easily.
“What would I do without you?” I asked against his mouth.
“What would I do without you?” he asked back.
I wrapped my legs around him, bringing him closer. I could feel the hard length of him between us and I nipped at his bottom lip.
“Oh, who’s trying to be serious now?” I teased, grinding against him.
“Fuck being serious,” he growled against my mouth.
His hands ran up and down my back, pressing me tightly against him. No matter how much of Nik I had, I always craved more. My mouth moved to his shoulder, and I bit down, eliciting a hiss from him.
“Wicked witch,” he chided as he dug his fingers into my back.
“Would you have me any other way?” I asked against his skin.
“Never.”
He lifted me then, lining himself up to my entrance. When he pulled me back down, I let out a groan as he filled me, the water sloshing over the sides of the tub. I braced my hands on the rim behind him as I threw my head back in pleasure, moving up and down in agonizing slowness.
Nik dug his fingers into my hips, and I reveled in the thought of the bruises they would leave behind tomorrow. I loved to wear him on my skin.
Nik’s hands moved around my back up to my shoulders where he pulled me down with each thrust. I leaned back, glancing down at him as I rest my hands against his shoulders and rode him. His eyes were pure liquid flames as he watched me, my full breasts bouncing before him. He took one into his mouth and bit down, eliciting another groan from me. My hands moved to his hair where I buried them in it.
He felt so damn good.
His hands on my shoulders increased our tempo, and the water sloshed to the floor in big splashes, eliciting a soft giggle from me. I would be the one having to clean that up later. He moved his hips to meet mine, both of us chasing the pleasure that was fast approaching.
I cried his name as I came, over and over against him. His mouth captured mine again as he found his own release, pumping into me so hard the breath left my lungs.
I fell into him, completely sated and spent.
My breasts were pressed against his chest, my legs still straddling him. My head fell to his shoulder where I placed a gentle kiss.
“I love you, Nikolai.” My voice sounded like a prayer as I leaned back only enough to meet his gaze.
“I love you, Diana. I am the luckiest bastard alive to have the privilege of being bound to you.”
Nik helped me wash off a second time, and we toweled dry, stealing kisses while laying towels across the floor to soak up the spilled water from the bath.
Nik had successfully distracted me and washed away the anxiety of the oncoming battle…for now. I knew that it would come back to me in the darkest hours of the night, haunting my dreams. I wasn’t prepared for what was to come, but I also wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to relieve that anxiety.
We both fell into bed naked. We were still damp, wrapped in each other’s arms. I pressed into Nik’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, quickly finding sleep. I lay awake in his arms for hours until sleep finally took me.
Nik had chased away the nightmares for now, but they would come back.
If not tonight, then tomorrow.
If there was one thing I could rely on, it was that they always did.