Chapter Ten
The next day, Rose pushed Steven’s wheelchair along the sidewalk near her condo, taking in the late-June evening. It was the first chance they’d had to be truly alone since his accident, and she relished the time with him. For one night, she had committed to put aside all of the uncertainties they faced and just enjoy their time together.
Steven took a deep breath. “This is nice.”
“I’m so glad it’s summer,” Rose said. The recent change in seasons had given her a renewed sense of hope. After all, summer was her favorite season with its long days, warm nights, and plenty of bright sunshine to banish the shadows from her mind.
“And soon, we’ll be married.”
Rose bit her lip. They hadn’t discussed the wedding since that day in the hospital. With everything else going on, she’d tried not to think about it, promising herself they would discuss it later. But the wedding was two months away, and she still wasn’t sure what their next steps should be.
“Rose?” Steven called, and she realized she’d stopped walking.
Forcing a smile, she resumed their stroll. “Sorry about that.”
The air between them became thick with everything they weren’t saying, but Rose didn’t want to ruin their evening with an argument. Instead, she angled the wheelchair toward the pond.
“There’s something I want to show you,” she said.
“Are we going swimming?” Steven joked as they neared the water’s edge.
Once they reached the fence, Rose locked the wheelchair’s brakes before stepping around to kneel beside Steven. She searched the pond for her favorite birds.
“Look,” she said when she spotted them. “Those are our resident swans.”
Steven followed her finger and smiled. “They’re quite beautiful.”
“Aren’t they, though?”
The swans glided through the water, seemingly without a care in the world. Rose couldn’t help envying them. How simple their lives must be in comparison to hers. Find a mate, raise a brood of cygnets, and live in such a peaceful place.
“Did you know there’s an ancient belief that swans sing before they die?” Steven asked.
Rose frowned. “Really? Why?”
He shrugged. “No idea, but that’s where the term ‘swan’s song’ comes from. The idea is they’re mute most of their lives, but right before they die, they sing a sweet, mournful song.”
That didn’t sound right to her. “They aren’t mute. I can hear them grunting from here.”
“I’m sure it’s just some old folklore,” Steven said with a laugh.
Like Lanie’s cardinal.A smile tugged at her lips. She liked having her own legend, especially since she could share it with Steven.
“Did you know swans have their own mating dance?” Rose asked, remembering the man she had seen fishing the last time she was at the pond.
“Most animals do.” Steven winked at her. “But I’d rather not sit around waiting to see if they start going at it.”
A laugh bubbled up in her throat. “Too true. We should get back anyway. I need to start dinner if we want to eat before midnight.”
He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I wouldn’t mind if it meant I got to spend more time with you.”
Her heart melted. She missed moments like that. Sometimes she worried they got too caught up in the day-to-day of life and didn’t take time to really enjoy each other’s company. With the accident, there had been even less opportunity.
Impulsively, she leaned forward and cupped his cheek before pressing her lips softly against his. He wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her into his lap, almost tipping over his chair in the process.
Her laughter echoed off the buildings, and she kissed him once more before standing and brushing off her clothes. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
As she pushed his wheelchair to her condo, the sweet scent of honeysuckle filled her nostrils. She closed her eyes and breathed it in, allowing her mind to be transported back to a special evening two summers ago.
Steven had made reservations at an upscale Irish restaurant overlooking the Inner Harbor. They’d been there plenty of times before, but something felt different about that evening. After a delicious meal of boxtys and fish and chips, Steven had ordered a couple of glasses of champagne.
“What are we celebrating?” Rose had asked as she accepted her glass from the server.
“This,” Steven said before sliding off his chair and dropping to one knee in front of her.
Her heart had leapt into her throat as he produced a small black-velvet box and opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen, a pear-shaped diamond bracketed by a ruby on one side and an amethyst on the other.
“Will you marry me?” His eyes had searched hers as if he didn’t already know the answer.
“Of course!” she exclaimed.
He stood, and she jumped into his arms. The rest of the evening was a blur, as she’d spent more time than she cared to admit staring at the ring on her finger. She’d loved that he added their birthstones. It was the perfect representation of their love.
Rose blinked herself back to the present as they reached her door. After unlocking it, she maneuvered the wheelchair into the condo and parked it in the living room.
“Did you want to watch television while I get dinner started?”
He shook his head. “I’d rather sit in the kitchen and talk to you, if you don’t mind.”
While her kitchen was too small for the chair to fit, she moved it over to the doorway so they could talk without yelling. She grabbed ingredients for stir-fry, one of Steven’s favorite meals.
“Any news on the head nurse position?” he asked as he watched her work.
“Not yet. I know they’re going to open the application sometime this summer, but I doubt I’ll get it. Rebecca has seniority.”
“I heard she doesn’t want it.”
That caught her attention. She turned from the stove to look at him. “Where did you hear that?”
“In the hospital.” He grinned. “You’d be surprised how much the nursing staff gossips.”
“Actually, I wouldn’t,” she said with a laugh.
After setting a pot of water to boil and pouring oil into the wok to heat, she began chopping vegetables. But her mind wasn’t on the task. Truthfully, she hadn’t given a lot of thought to the head nurse position in the last few weeks, for good reason.
“Did Rebecca say why she didn’t want it?”
“Just that she wasn’t interested in the extra responsibility,” Steven said. “I also got the impression she’s not that ambitious. She seems happy where she is.”
“Hmm.” If Rebecca wasn’t planning to put herself in the running, Rose might actually have a shot.
“I also heard Dr. Myers say he thought you would be the best fit for the job.”
Rose stopped chopping and stared at Steven. “What?”
“You must have made quite the impression on him with all your double shifts.”
“Not that I had much choice in the matter,” Rose replied through gritted teeth.
“Sounds like I’m not the only one who needs to find a better work-life balance,” he teased.
She glared at him. “Not funny.” Returning her focus to the vegetables, she racked her brain for a change of subject. She didn’t want to get within even a hair’s breadth of an argument that evening. “How are things going with the home health aides?”
“Rather well. They’re always on time and insanely efficient.”
“That’s good to hear.” Though it did surprise her. While the hospital was understaffed, she’d heard the shortage of home health aides was becoming its own epidemic, particularly in rural areas. As the population aged, more people needed assistance in their homes. That had been one of her main concerns when Steven had insisted on leaving the rehab facility after only two weeks. Knowing he was being well cared for eased some of her worry.
“But I’m not sure I’ll need them much longer.”
Rose froze. What could he possibly mean by that? Clearing her throat, she focused on her chopping. “Why do you say that?”
“Dad and Lanie come by every day, and they help with food prep. The only thing I need the aides for is transitioning, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to do more in PT once this blasted cast is removed.”
The tightness in her chest eased a little, but she frowned as she dumped the chopped vegetables into the oil and stirred. Something about what he’d said didn’t sit right with her.
“The cast isn’t due off for at least another two weeks, right?”
“That’s what Marvin said.” Steven shrugged. “But that’s not that far away now.”
The pot of water was finally boiling, and Rose added rice to it. Then she removed chicken that had been marinating in teriyaki sauce and added it to the wok.
She glanced over at him and chose her next words carefully. “I would suggest tempering your expectations regarding your recovery. It might not be as swift as you would like.”
“It’s already slower than I want,” Steven grumbled. “But I’ve been doing some research, and once the cast is off, I expect to make a lot more progress.” He leaned his head back against his chair and stared at the ceiling. “And the sooner I do, the sooner things can return to normal.”
Warning bells went off in Rose’s head. He was so focused on his ability to walk, he seemed to conveniently forget his heart condition. Her desire to keep the peace between them clashed with her concerns about his health. She’d bitten her tongue multiple times that evening, and she wouldn’t be surprised if she’d put a hole in it.
Instead of responding, she busied herself with finishing dinner. She stirred the vegetables and chicken together in the wok and checked the rice. Everything was coming along nicely. If only she could say the same about her relationship.
She grabbed two plates and silverware before stepping around Steven and setting the dining room table. On her way back in, he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. She hoped her smile looked more genuine than it felt.
“What would you like to drink?” she asked.
“I’d say a beer, but Dr. Myers would probably kill me.”
“And I’d help him,” Rose said with a sweet smile. “Water or iced tea?”
Steven sighed. “Water, please.”
By the time she’d filled the glasses, dinner was ready. She drained the rice and put it into one bowl with the stir-fry in the other. After setting the food on the table, she unlocked Steven’s chair and brought him over.
“This smells amazing,” he said before lifting his glass. “To us.”
She tapped his glass and took a sip. Then she served Steven and herself. Soon the only sound in the room was forks scraping against plates. She relished the break from cherry-picking her words and pretending everything was fine.
When they finished eating, Steven leaned forward and took her hand. “Thank you for tonight. It was fun being just us for an evening.”
Rose’s lips turned up in a genuine smile. “It really was. Hopefully, now that you’re out of the hospital, it can happen more often.”
“From your lips to God’s ears.”
“The night’s not over yet. I made dessert.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, she stood and cleared their plates. After dropping them off in the sink to clean later, she removed a pan of brownies from the fridge and plated up two.
She returned to the table and set Steven’s plate in front of him. “Enjoy.”
“Oh man, you make the best brownies.” He took a bite and closed his eyes. “I can’t wait to eat your food all the time.”
“Hey, mister.” She playfully shook a finger at him. “I’m no personal chef. You’ll be helping me.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.” Once he finished his brownie, he brushed the crumbs from his fingers. “I meant it’ll be nice to be together every evening. Well, I mean, the evenings you don’t have a shift.”
And the ones you aren’t working late.But she kept that comment to herself. They’d managed to make it through dinner without devolving into an argument, and she was determined to keep it that way.
A knock sounded at the door, and his face fell. “That’ll be my dad.”
With a heavy heart, Rose stood to answer it. How had the evening passed so quickly? But sure enough, Max stood on the other side.
“Evening, Rose.”
“Hi, Max.” She stepped to the side to let him in. “He’s in the dining room.” As she turned to lead him there, Max stopped her.
“How’s he doing?”
“Much better. He seems to be happy to be home.”
Max searched her face. “And how are you doing?”
“I’m okay,” she lied.
But her soon-to-be father-in-law wasn’t fooled. “I know you worry about him. We all do. He’s a hardheaded man.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. “Wonder where he got that from.”
His face broke into a wide grin, and he laughed. “Fair enough.”
“Hey, you two,” Steven called. “Stop whispering about me like I’m not here.”
“Who said we’re talking about you?” Max demanded as he walked into the dining room. “Maybe I was trying to convince your fiancée she’s with the wrong McAllister.”
“Very funny.” Steven crossed his arms. “You’re early.”
“I’m sorry, son, but the home health care aides had to move your appointment time. They’re coming to your house in a half hour.”
With a sigh, he nodded. “All right. Well, can you at least turn around? I want to give Rose a proper goodbye.”
Max rolled his eyes but did as Steven asked. Rose moved beside Steven and bent down to give him a quick kiss, but that was clearly not what he meant by a “proper goodbye.” Instead, he pulled her into his lap and tangled his hands in her hair.
“Have I told you how much I love you lately?” he murmured between kisses.
“No,” she whispered. “But now hardly seems the time.”
“Then we’ll just have to find another time.” His final kiss was deep and passionate, almost like a promise.
“You can turn around now,” he called to his dad.
Max came over and grasped the wheelchair handles. “You have a good evening, Rose.”
“You, too, Max.”
She followed them outside and waved as they headed down the sidewalk to the van. Once Steven was secure, Max drove away.
Rose went inside and leaned against the door. Her lips still burned from Steven’s fervent kisses, but the fluttering in her stomach wasn’t from butterflies. It was guilt. She couldn’t keep up the charade of pretending everything was fine between them. Eventually, she and Steven needed to have a frank discussion about their present and their future.