When Swans Dance

Chapter Twelve

Rose tapped the steering wheel as she drove to Steven’s house. They’d planned to get together to discuss the wedding budget. Since she’d had the morning off, she spent it going over the figures, and things weren’t looking good. Although she had made some decent overtime with all of her double shifts, she couldn’t say the same for Steven. She planned to ask him about his business’s finances, but she didn’t expect to hear good news. Their current financial situation had renewed her desire to discuss postponing the wedding again.

She’d spoken to Carissa that morning regarding their upcoming payments. Though Carissa had sympathized with their situation, she told Rose they needed to decide what they were going to do and soon. The vendors were willing to negotiate a new date for the wedding but only if they got paid by the deadline, which was the next day.

When she reached the door, it swung open before she could knock. Steven greeted her with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she followed him into the house.

“Better.” He maneuvered to the table, where he had set out a pitcher of iced tea and two glasses. “How was work? Is Lisa’s daughter better?”

Rose nodded. “Yes, thank goodness. I couldn’t handle another double shift this week.” After pouring the tea, she squared her shoulders and removed the binder she’d used to track the wedding details and expenses. “So, about the wedding budget.”

His body tensed, and he fidgeted beside her. This is not a good sign. But she focused on the figures because she needed him to understand what they owed before they discussed his share.

“We’ve got several items coming due in the next few weeks. Invitations should have been sent this month, but with everything that happened, I ordered them late. I’m hoping to get them out before the Fourth of July.” She pushed the binder closer to him. “The next payment to the caterer is due next week, which is fifty percent of the total charge. Our last payment will be due once we have a final head count in August.” Then she flipped the calendar page. “The final payments will be due two weeks before August twenty-sixth.”

Steven’s eyes widened as he took in all of the four-figure amounts. “And how much does this total?”

After flipping back to the previous page, Rose pointed at the equations she’d added yesterday. “It comes down to about fifteen thousand dollars still to pay.”

His throat moved as he swallowed thickly, and Rose braced herself for what she expected him to say. But he surprised her when he pushed away from the table and went to the couch. A moment later, he returned with his laptop.

“I’m going to be a little short for my share,” he admitted as he opened the computer and signed in.

She pressed her lips together and fought back frustration. She’d known that, expected it, but it didn’t make it any less aggravating. While her main focus had been on his recovery, she’d known their finances would take a hit after his accident.

“How short?” She kept her tone even.

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he seemed to be doing some calculations of his own. His eyebrows knitted together, and he bit his lip.

“Steven?”

With a sigh, he turned the screen toward her. “About seventy-five hundred short.”

Her stomach dropped. It was worse than she’d thought. They’d been splitting the wedding costs equally and had opened a joint account to pay for them, with the plan to use that account for joint expenses once they were married. Steven hadn’t deposited anything into it since April.

“All of it?”

He gave a grim nod. “And it gets worse.”

“How could it possibly be worse?”

“Mr. Willoughby is threatening to find a new lawyer if I can’t work on his case.”

Though Mr. Willoughby was Steven’s biggest client, she couldn’t deny she would be thrilled to see the back of him. He was the absolute worst kind of person.

“I’m sure you can find someone to replace him.”

He shook his head. “I know he’s a pain, but between the drama of his divorce and his real estate business, he’s been a very lucrative client, and I’d be underwater without him.”

“So what are you going to do?”

When he didn’t answer, she decided to try her next strategy. “Can we discuss postponing the wedding now?”

His mouth set in a thin line. “Not this again. We’ll lose more money if we cancel now.”

“I spoke to Carissa this morning, and the vendors are still willing to work with us on finding a new date next summer.” Rose left out the part about needing to pay them by the original deadline. Her share of the cost would cover the payments due in July, and once they had a new date, she hoped to renegotiate a payment plan for the remaining balance.

He searched her face, and she tried to keep her expression neutral while her heart hammered in her chest. She prayed he would see reason.

“I’m doing what you asked, Rose. Lanie and I are setting up interviews to hire a law clerk. And who knows, maybe they’ll do well enough to work toward becoming a partner someday. In the meantime, I’m trying to keep my business afloat so we can afford to start our lives together.” His chest expanded as he took a deep breath, and she held hers as she waited for whatever he would say next. “I want to marry you. I want a life with you, and I’m doing everything I can to make that happen. So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”

What the—What was that supposed to mean?They were financially strapped and could no longer afford the wedding they’d planned. What other possible motive could I have? Does he think I want to keep having this conversation? Does he think I enjoy pushing him on this?

A cold wave of dread washed down her spine. He couldn’t possibly know about her parents’ deciding not to attend, could he?Rose hadn’t told anyone else about that, and she highly doubted Steven had spoken to her parents since he’d left the hospital. But his insistence that she had some ulterior motive in postponing the wedding was making her paranoid.

Pushing those thoughts away, she glared at him. “What’s really going on is that we can’t afford to get married the way we planned. And unless you’ve got seven thousand dollars stashed away somewhere, I don’t know how you suggest we pay for the commitments we’ve already made.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she rushed on. “Besides, wouldn’t you rather hold the wedding of our dreams when you’re fully recovered and able to enjoy it?”

He dropped his gaze to the table as if the fight had gone out of him. Tears pricked behind her eyes because she didn’t want to postpone the wedding, but she didn’t see any other option.

“I’m not saying forever, Steven. Just a year. One year where you can focus on healing and we can get our lives, and our finances, back on track. Then we can have the wedding of our dreams without bankrupting ourselves.” A year for me to save up for my parents’ flights.

A tear slipped down his cheek. “It’s not fair.” He raised his head and looked at her. “I don’t want to wait anymore. We already put it off for a year because of my mother and opening the law firm. I don’t want this to be like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol where we keep postponing the wedding until the ‘right time.’“ He put air quotes around those last words. Sliding his hand across the table, he grasped hers. “It may never be the right time for us to get married, but I don’t want to risk losing the right person for me.”

Her heart melted. But she looked at Steven, really looked at him, and she could see the toll the situation was taking on him. Dark circles bloomed like purple bruises under his eyes, and his skin was paler than usual. When he’d led her into the house, she could hear his labored breathing as he pushed his wheelchair. It wouldn’t take much for him to be right back in the hospital, and who knew whether he would survive another heart attack.

“I want to marry you too,” she said in earnest before pulling her hand away. She stared at the table as she spoke the words she’d avoided even thinking let alone saying out loud. “But I don’t want to be a widow so soon after becoming your wife.”

His jaw dropped open. “Is that what you think is going to happen?” He maneuvered his chair around to her side of the table. His arm slid around her shoulders. “I promise you, I am taking better care of myself. Lanie has been buying me healthy food, and I’ve been getting plenty of rest.”

“But some things haven’t changed, have they?” She gestured to his computer. “You’re still working way more than you should considering you haven’t been cleared to return to work. You were already stressed about the law firm’s finances, and now the wedding expenses are stressing you out.”

“I’m not—“

“I saw the panic in your eyes when I showed you what we owed.”

He scratched the back of his head. “We could ask my dad for a loan—“

“You can’t be serious.” Without another word, she grabbed her purse.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. This conversation is over.”

“Come on. Be reasonable.” He tried to grasp her arm, but she backed away.

”I am being reasonable. Do you really believe it’s appropriate to ask your father for money after he just paid for your two-week stay in the rehab facility? He’s retired and on a fixed income. He can’t afford to throw more money at our financial problems.”

With that, she turned and fled the house. She jumped into her car and took off, wanting to put as much distance between her and Steven as possible.

Instead of going to her condo, Rose parked by the pond nearby. She breathed in the thick summer air and walked down to the water’s edge. Ducks swam near the shoreline, and a lone swan circled near the center. A commotion on the other side of the pond caught her attention, and she hurried over, worried something had happened to half of her favorite bird couple.

Two men were trying to wrangle the swan into a cage but were having quite the time of it. As she approached, the swan was clearly fighting, though it favored one leg over the other.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

One of the men coaxed the swan into the cage while the other shut the door. The swan settled into the corner, hissing at its captors.

“This one broke its leg,” the man who had shut the door said. He lifted his baseball cap, revealing a bald head, and wiped it with a handkerchief. “We’re taking it to a wildlife rehabilitation center where they can set the leg and allow it to heal.”

“But we had a time getting it away from its mate,” the other man said, wiping his face on his shirt sleeve. He nodded at the remaining swan. It looked lonesome out there on its own.

“Will it be okay without its mate?” Rose asked. She couldn’t help comparing their situation to her own.

“Should be,” the bald man said. “But swans are one of the few bird species that mate for life. She may grieve as if he’s died. We’ll keep an eye on her, though, and make sure she takes care of herself for when he returns.”

“And when will that be?” Rose asked, unable to hide her interest.

The men exchanged a look, then the bald one shrugged. “Hard to say.” He inclined his head toward the cluster of buildings where her condo was. “You live around here?”

She nodded, hoping she wouldn’t regret revealing that information to strangers.

“We’ll let you know how the male gets on,” he promised with a smile. “And you’ll definitely want to be here when they’re reunited.”

Cocking her head, she frowned. “Why’s that?”

The other man just laughed. “You’ll have to see for yourself.”

They loaded the swan’s cage into the truck bed and secured it before climbing in and driving away. Rose watched until the truck had driven out of sight before closing her eyes and sending up a short prayer for the swans.

Her earlier anger had dissipated, and she felt hollow. With a heavy heart, she turned and walked to her condo.

When Rose finally checked her phone later that evening, she was surprised to find only two texts and one voicemail. Steven’s messages were full of apologies and his insistence that he would be fine. But she’d meant what she’d said about not wanting to be a widow before she’d even had a chance to be a wife. And Steven could wax poetic all he wanted about his dietary changes; the real crux of the issue was the stress load on his heart.

This isn’t how I imagined my life when Steven asked me to move to Cedar Haven. It always seemed like something new came up just as she thought they were finally moving forward.

Did I make a mistake?After working for a few years in Baltimore, she’d received a job offer at a prestigious hospital in Boston. But when Steven had learned of his mother’s cancer diagnosis, he decided to open a practice in his hometown to be closer to her.

So Rose gave up her dream of Boston and found a position at the small hospital in the middle of nowhere. Of course, there were many things she loved about the town. The hospital’s size allowed her to have closer relationships with her patients. She’d become more active in the community, and she had found a best friend in her future sister-in-law. Most importantly, she had Steven.

But sometimes, she wished she’d worked harder to convince him to move to Boston. Several law firms in the city would have snapped someone like him up in a heartbeat. Perhaps he could have found a better work-life balance. At the very least, he would have less stress about finances. Those firms were known to pay very well.

After his mother passed, Rose thought Steven might consider going back, but he had his heart set on opening his own firm. In the end, it hadn’t taken much to convince her to stay in Cedar Haven. She was already in town, and the thought of packing up everything to move again sounded exhausting. So they’d stayed.

But he’d never told her how much capital he had sunk into the venture until it was too late. On top of that, he still had to pay off his student loans from law school. The sixty-five thousand dollars he’d inherited from his mother after paying off the estate helped, but it wasn’t enough to make a substantial dent in what he owed.

To say they were financially strapped was an understatement. If only they hadn’t moved to Cedar Haven so quickly. Maybe if they’d stayed in the city, they could have saved a nest egg to help him build his business.

She checked her phone again but had no new messages. Perhaps he’d decided to give her some time. She grimaced. Or maybe he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, like working. It would be like Steven to take advantage of her absence to dive into his caseload and make some headway. After all, he probably reasoned that if she was mad at him, she would be less likely to stop by and catch him in the act. She hated how well he knew her sometimes.

She’d stewed long enough. She needed to have it out with him, and if she caught him working, it would add fuel to her already simmering fire.

After grabbing her purse and keys, she headed out the door and drove to the house. They hadn’t been able to afford much of a mortgage, even that far from the city. But it was enough for them—two bedrooms and one and a half baths in less than sixteen hundred square feet. One of the bedrooms hardly qualified as a full room, but it allowed for a home office. Part of her wondered if she should have insisted Steven use that until they could afford to buy commercial space, but he’d fallen in love with the location of his firm, and his father had helped him secure the loan. It hadn’t seemed worth it to fight at the time.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob. Shaking her head, she turned the knob. He always said it was her house too. So she supposed she shouldn’t feel weird walking in.

“Steven?” she called. The late-summer-evening sun poured into the room from behind her, basking the hallway in an orangey hue.

No response came, but the distinct sound of keys clacking on a keyboard drifted down the hall. Unbelievable. She prepared to catch him in the act.

Sure enough, Steven scrambled to shut his laptop as she entered the living room. He was in his chair beside the couch. His hazel eyes widened, and he bit his lower lip in quite possibly the guiltiest expression she’d ever seen. If she wasn’t so angry, she might have laughed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She crossed her arms.

“Nothing,” he said a little too quickly. “I mean, it’s not what it looks like.”

“It looks like you’re working.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Not really. I mean, I’m trying to catch up on email, I swear.” He raised his hands as if in surrender. “I’m not working on any briefs or pleadings, nothing that would cause me undue stress.”

She scoffed. “Knowing some of your clients, I find that hard to believe.”

With a wry smile, he slid the laptop onto the coffee table. He moved over to her cautiously. When he grabbed her hand and began pulling her into his lap, she stiffened, and he released her with a frown.

“What are you doing here?” He searched her face.

“I came to finish our argument,” she said coolly, narrowing her eyes. “But it appears we’re about to have another one.”

He sighed. “I told you Lanie brought the laptop here so I could catch up on work.”

“No.” She jabbed him in the chest. “Lanie brought the laptop home to write the advertisement for a law clerk, which you’ve done. She should have taken it back to the office where it belongs.”

“Be reasonable, Rose,” he whined. “I can’t just sit here day in and day out doing nothing while my business goes to hell.” He leaned closer to her, both eyebrows raised in a challenge. “Do you want me to fail?”

That caught her off guard, and she staggered back. “Of course not, but I don’t want your heart to either.”

Taking her hand, he placed it on his chest. His pulse pounded beneath her palm. “It’s still ticking.”

A faint smile pulled at her lips before she could stop it. She tried to rearrange her features into a sterner expression. “For now.”

But Steven took advantage of her faltering anger and brushed his hand over her cheek. She started to pull away, but he slid his other hand around her waist, pulling her into his lap and kissing her.

“Not fair,” she murmured against his lips.

He chuckled and released her. “But the best part of fighting is the making up.”

“You assume we’re done fighting,” she retorted as she stood and put her hands on her hips.

“I took a nap earlier, and I’ve taken multiple breaks. I promise you, even though I’m working, I am heeding Dr. Myers’s advice.”

Rose was losing the battle, but she held on to the last shreds of her aggravation at finding him typing away like he hadn’t just suffered a heart attack. “How long a nap?”

His gaze went to the ceiling. “I didn’t time it.” After a quick glance over his shoulder, he turned back to her. “But I’d guess maybe forty-five minutes?”

She pursed her lips and nodded. “I suppose that’s better than nothing.”

“And I have an idea for how to pay off the remaining balance for the wedding, though it might not be easy.”

Despite her apprehension about the direction of the conversation, she laughed. “What do you propose?”

“Mr. Willoughby,” he said. Her face must have betrayed her shock and misgivings because he hurried on. “I spoke to him this afternoon. While he’s still not happy with me for not taking his calls, he was much more focused on the latest response from his wife. She was open to the settlement I had sent her before my accident, but she had some minor adjustments, which he is, of course, blowing out of proportion.” Steven let out an exasperated sigh. “He’s bound and determined to take this to court, and that means if I can keep him happy, he’ll owe me an even larger retainer fee than what he’s already paid.” His teasing grin melted her heart. “The irony is he may single-handedly ensure our marriage through his divorce.”

She giggled, then her face fell. “But he’s your most demanding client.”

“And the law clerk will help alleviate some of that demand.”

“It’s a start,” she admitted.

Slipping his arms around her waist again, he pulled her close. “Can we make up now?”

It would be easy to give in, but she needed to clear the air on one more thing. “First, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Oh?”

She took a deep breath. “You were right. I did have an ulterior motive for wanting to postpone the wedding.” At his alarmed expression, she cupped her hand over his cheek. “It’s not what you think. I promise.”

“Then… what is it?”

“My mom told me she and my dad can’t make the wedding.” Tears pricked behind her eyes, and she tried to blink them back. “They can’t afford the plane tickets.”

“Oh, Rose,” Steven murmured, tightening his arms around her.

“It feels stupid saying this to you.” She sniffled.

“Why? I can only imagine how devastating that news was for you. Heck, I’m disappointed, and they aren’t even my parents.”

“Yes, but you just lost your mom.” Rose pulled back to search his face. “It’s selfish to want to postpone the wedding so they can be here, especially with the anniversary of your mom’s death coming up soon.”

His eyes got a little misty. “I’d forgotten that.” He took a moment to compose himself. “But my feelings don’t trump yours. I wish you had told me.”

“Would it have changed your mind about postponing?”

He averted his eyes. “If I’m honest, probably not, but that’s because I don’t want to wait any longer to marry you. Maybe we can go visit them in South Korea when we’re in a better place both physically and financially. How would you like to have a small ceremony there?”

Instead of answering, she knelt beside his chair and wrapped her arms around his neck before peppering him with light, grateful kisses.