Chapter Eighteen
“He’s being unreasonable,” Lanie declared as she sank into the booth across from Rose at Bea’s Diner. After shoving her bag into the corner of the bench, she began violently flipping through the jukebox by the wall.
“Who is?” Rose set down her menu and took in her future sister-in-law’s uncharacteristically disheveled appearance. Her dirty-blond hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and her cheeks were blotchy, as if she’d been crying.
“Steven.” Lanie said it like an expletive instead of a name. “I asked him if he would help me with vendor contracts for my wedding.”
“He said no?” Rose couldn’t help the incredulity in her voice. Though Steven had a lot going on, she couldn’t imagine he wouldn’t help his sister.
Waving a hand, Lanie shook her head. “No, he was fine with that. But he asked if we’d finally chosen a wedding date, and as soon as I told him the day we picked, he went ballistic.”
That didn’t sound like Steven at all. Rose put her hand on Lanie’s to stop her frantic search for a song and to keep her from breaking the mini jukebox. With a sigh, Lanie sat back and crossed her arms.
“When’s the big day?” Rose asked.
Lanie dropped her gaze and fidgeted with a string on her shirt. Her actions didn’t make any sense to Rose. Lanie and Nate had discussed several dates, and Rose expected her to be excited to share the one they’d settled on. But Lanie seemed hesitant, almost guilty.
“Lanie?”
Finally, Lanie met Rose’s gaze and squared her shoulders. “November fourth.”
After racking her brain to determine why Steven would have objected to the date, a cold chill slid up Rose’s spine. There was no way Lanie had chosen her mother’s birthday to get married.
She was going to have to tread lightly. If Steven had already blown up at her, Lanie wasn’t likely to take kindly to Rose tearing into her as well. But somehow, Rose had to make her see reason. Steven had been inconsolable last year on Melody’s birthday, and Rose couldn’t bear the thought of him forcing smiles and faking joy just to appease his sister.
“Why that day?” Perhaps if Rose asked enough questions, she could lead Lanie to understand not only why her brother had reacted negatively to her news but also why the date was a terrible idea.
“It used to be such a happy day for us, celebrating Mom. So I thought it would be a nice way to honor her memory and give another reason to celebrate the day instead of mourning her loss.”
While Rose appreciated the sentiment, she wondered whether Lanie had thought the idea through. It wasn’t easy to replace one memory with another. No matter how much she tried to paper over her grief with balloons and décor, the reality of who wasn’t at the wedding would lurk in the shadows and pounce when Lanie expected to be happiest.
“How did you spend your mother’s birthday last year?”
Lanie set her elbow on the table and, frowning, leaned her cheek against her hand. Then her face cleared as the memory seemed to finally come to her.
“I spent the day researching a specific area of my thesis.” She bit her lip. “And trying to forget the significance of the day.”
Rose nodded. “And do you think by throwing yourself into planning your wedding and celebrating with everyone you love, you’ll be able to forget who isn’t there to share in your joy?”
Lanie scowled. “I’m not trying to forget her. I thought it would be a better way to remember her.”
“I believe your heart was in the right place,” Rose said gently. “But have you considered Steven’s point of view?”
“It’s hard to get my head so far up my own backside.”
Rose laughed. “Fair point.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry Steven was hostile. He shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“But?” Lanie raised an eyebrow.
“You can’t get married on your mother’s birthday.” Rose blew out her breath. “At least, not if you want to maintain a good relationship with your brother.”
“Maybe I don’t,” Lanie muttered.
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Fine.” Lanie unrolled her silverware. “To be fair, Nate wasn’t too keen on the idea either, but he was willing to go along with it if it made me happy.”
“Smart man.”
“But now I guess it’s back to the drawing board.”
“Do you have any other dates in mind?”
Lanie pursed her lips. “I thought about Christmas, but I’m not sure that will be received any better by Steven.”
Tilting her head, Rose frowned. “Why would he object to Christmas?”
“I don’t know. It’s a family holiday, and it’s kind of cliché.”
The server came over and took their orders. Since it was late afternoon, neither of them wanted a full meal. Instead, they split a few appetizers.
Once they were alone again, Rose clasped her hands on the table. “If Nate is on board and you can plan it in time, Christmas is a great day for a wedding. And I’m sure Steven would agree.” At the very least, he’ll be more amenable to Christmas than his late mother’s birthday.
Lanie’s face broke into a smile. “I’ll discuss it with Nate, but I appreciate your support.”
“Anytime.”
“Now”—Lanie removed a laptop from her bag—“we should probably discuss the fundraiser.”
The next evening, Rose stood outside The Muddy Oar, patiently waiting for Max to drop Steven off. Something about their new normal reminded her of being a freshman in high school. Steven’s dad playing chauffeur necessitated a curfew they hadn’t had previously. While she missed the freedoms they’d enjoyed before Steven’s accident, she had to admit the changes made their time together all the more precious.
As Max maneuvered Steven’s wheelchair through the parking lot, her fiancé gave an embarrassed wave. The restrictions were taking their toll on him.
“I’ll be back in two hours to pick him up,” Max said after pushing the wheelchair up on the sidewalk. “The aides will be coming to help him into bed around eight.”
“She knows, Dad,” Steven said, the irritability clear in his tone.
“Good luck,” Max muttered under his breath as he brushed by Rose.
“I heard that,” Steven grumbled.
Stifling a sigh, Rose grasped the wheelchair handles and steered Steven into the restaurant. The dining area was mostly empty, though it was rather early for dinner.
“Table for two, please,” Rose told the host standing at the podium. He had dark hair and didn’t look a day over sixteen.
With a nod, he led them to a table near the back corner. The host removed one of the chairs, and Rose angled the wheelchair into the empty spot. She took the seat across from Steven and accepted a menu.
“Your server will be with you shortly,” the host said before returning to his post.
“How was work today?” Rose asked as she opened her menu.
“Not bad. Thanks to Michael, I’m at least meeting deadlines again. Though that may change in a couple of weeks.”
“Why do you say that?”
Steven’s eyebrows drew together. “He’s taking the bar exam at the end of the month.”
“But that’s good, isn’t it?” Rose asked. “He’ll be able to do more when he passes.”
“He won’t have the results until October.” Steven sighed. “That won’t stop the offers from pouring in, though.”
“He’s committed to staying the summer, isn’t he?”
Shaking his head, Steven set his menu aside. “That’s what I advertised for, but we didn’t sign any sort of employment contract. He’s free to leave sooner if he finds something more permanent.”
Then offer him something more permanent.Rose bit her tongue to keep from saying that out loud. They hadn’t had a nice evening together in a while, and she didn’t want to start a fight.
“Has he said anything about wanting to leave?”
“No, but that doesn’t mean he won’t.”
Worrying her lower lip, Rose raised her menu to hide her face. He was starting to sound eerily like Mr. Patrones. It was making her uncomfortable.
“Anyway, how are things with you? I hear you had lunch with Lanie yesterday.”
“Not really lunch, but we met at Bea’s to discuss the fundraiser.”
“Did she tell you she picked a wedding date?” he asked darkly.
Rose lowered her menu and met his gaze. “She did, and I successfully talked her out of it.”
That perked him up. “You did? How’d you manage that?”
“For starters, I didn’t blow up at her.” She gave him a meaningful look.
“I know.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I need to apologize to her. She caught me off guard. I mean, Mom’s birthday? Really?”
“Although she was misguided, her heart was in the right place.” Rose debated briefly whether to tell him the new date Lanie had proposed. Perhaps if she did, he would react better when Lanie told him herself. “She’s considering Christmas now.”
He rubbed his chin. “That’s better, though a bit overdone.” He groaned. “And so soon? Why is she in such a rush?”
Rose shrugged. “She and Nate lost so much time after what happened between them, I suppose they don’t want to waste another minute.”
“I guess.” He didn’t sound convinced. “Enough about my sister. How’s work?”
“The board has scheduled a meeting on August first to discuss the head nurse position.”
His eyes widened. “Oh? Do you think they’ll offer it to you?”
“It’s too soon to say, but Dr. Myers thinks it’s likely.”
“Wow, that would be quite the wedding present.”
Her jaw clenched. It’s not a “present.” I worked hard for this promotion. Breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, she shook her head. Don’t overreact. I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.
She was saved from needing to respond by the arrival of the server. Steven gestured for her to go first.
“I’ll have the Chicken Chesapeake with a salad,” Rose said.
The server nodded and took her menu. “And for you, sir?”
“I’ll have a New York strip.”
He can’t be serious.She stared at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze. Her heart thumped in her chest as she willed the server to leave.
“What are you doing?”
Finally, he looked at her and smiled. “Having a lovely meal with my future wife.”
“You know what I mean.”
With an exasperated sigh, he gestured to the restaurant. “We’re in a steakhouse, Rose. What did you think I was going to order?” He took a sip of water. “Besides, I haven’t had any red meat since the accident. Dr. Myers said I had to limit how much I ate, but he didn’t say I couldn’t have any.”
As much as she hated to admit it, he had a point. Still, it was risky. Especially since he was still in the wheelchair and had limited mobility. It would be better for his heart if he avoided certain foods until he could exercise regularly again.
Once more, they were treading toward dangerous territory. Rose decided to change the subject. “Lanie and I had a good conversation about the fundraiser, though she’s going to run our ideas past Trudy before she makes any final decisions.”
He leaned forward and took her hand. “I’m glad you’re open to the idea. I know how much you hate relying on other people for help.”
“It’s not about me, it’s about us. And we’d do the same for anyone else in Cedar Haven if the situation were reversed.”
“Very true.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. “Have I mentioned how excited I am to marry you?”
“Not lately,” she teased, unable to stop the grin that spread over her face. The tension in her shoulders eased. She’d missed that, how easy things used to be between them.
“Well, I’d tell you my heart skips a beat every time I think about it, but I’d be afraid you’d haul me back to Dr. Myers for another round of testing.”
Rose giggled, and a weight lifted as she fell into their familiar banter. “I’ll have him do a full workup the day before our wedding just to be sure. Wouldn’t want you to faint when you see my dress.”
His eyes darkened. “I’m looking forward to seeing you in it… and out of it.”
Warmth rushed to her cheeks. “Steven!”
Before he could respond, the server returned with their food. The sight of the steak made her feel like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her, but she pushed her concerns away. She refused to let them overshadow the evening.
“So, how is physical therapy going now that your cast is off?”
Steven shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had a session without it yet.” He cut a piece of steak and popped it into his mouth, closing his eyes. “Mm, this is delicious. Do you want a bite?”
And just like that, the cold water of reality washed over her again. “No, thank you.” Her appetite had disappeared as she struggled to rein in the emotional rollercoaster she’d unwittingly stumbled on. “What do you mean you haven’t had a session yet? You were cleared to begin more intensive therapy a few days ago.”
“Things have been busy at the office, and I hadn’t had time to make an appointment.”
Don’t make a scene.But the harder she tried to salvage their date, the worse she felt. Her feet ached from tiptoeing around the shattered glass of sore subjects for someone who refused to acknowledge that anything was broken.
He seemed to realize she’d stopped eating and set down his fork and knife. “Rose? What’s wrong?”
“I’m worried you’re still not taking your health seriously.”
His worried expression gave way to a scowl. “I’m not having this argument again.”
“It’s not an argument,” she protested. “It’s genuine concern.” Without thinking, she gestured to his wheelchair. “I thought you wanted to walk again as soon as you could.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “Of course I want to walk again. Do you think I enjoy being stuck in this thing? That it’s fun to have my dad chauffeur me to dates with my fiancée? To not know if I’m going to be able to walk with her down the aisle on our wedding day?”
She stared at him. “I don’t care if you walk, roll, or crawl down the aisle, as long as we’re together.”
“Well, it matters to me.” He waved his hand toward his back. “However, as I’ve yet to regain feeling in my legs, I can’t imagine a few days is going to make any difference in my recovery.”
Her clinical training clicked in. “It’s about muscle memory—”
“I know!”
His raised voice caused something in Rose to snap. “Don’t talk to me that way.” She took a deep breath to try to calm herself. “Look, I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m nagging you. I care about you, and I want you to get better. I want us to get better.” Tears welled in her eyes, and she furiously blinked them back.
That seemed to sober him. He bowed his head. “I know you do. I’m sorry.”
She swallowed around the lump in her throat. How did we get here? It seemed only yesterday that their biggest problem was Steven’s overworked schedule. In a moment, everything had changed.
With a sigh, he pushed away from the table and maneuvered his chair next to her. “I really am sorry. And I promise I’ll try harder to follow the doctors’ advice.”
How many more times is he going to make that promise?But she didn’t feel angry at his empty words. She felt hollow, like the fight had gone out of her.
“This isn’t easy for me either. I may not be the one in the wheelchair, but that doesn’t mean I’m not having a hard time with this too.”
He nodded. “And I appreciate you sticking it out with me.” A wry smile stole over his face. “Even when I’m being an insensitive jerk.”
“Isn’t that all the time?” she joked. While Steven laughed, the words had a ring of truth. Part of her wished she could chalk up his recent poor behavior to the accident, but the fact was, he’d been ignoring her pleas to take better care of himself for months.
After kissing her cheek, he made his way around the table and gestured to her food. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.”
Rose picked up her fork and knife and took a bite of her chicken, but the food, like her heart, had already cooled.
~*~
When Rose arrived at her condo, she didn’t immediately go inside. Though the sun was low in the sky, it hadn’t set, and the evening air hung heavy with warm humidity. Instead, she walked to the pond. She hadn’t been by to check on the swans since the injured one had been transported to the wildlife rehab center. But as she neared the water’s edge, only one swan remained.
The same man she had spoken to that first day with the swans was standing on the shoreline, watching the lone swan swimming in circles. When he heard her approach, he looked up with a grin.
“Coming back to check on them, are you?” He nodded. “My friend said the male is healing well and should be returned in the next few weeks.” Inclining his head toward the female, he continued, “She’ll be happy to have him home, I’m sure.”
“Does she know he’s still alive?” Rose asked.
“I imagine so,” the man replied. “She’s not gone into mourning.”
That caught her off guard. She frowned. “What does a swan in mourning look like?”
“They often don’t leave their nest, and I’ve seen females put their heads under their wings, almost as if they’re covering their face while they cry.”
I understand how she feels. “I hope she doesn’t give up hope,” Rose said, her heart going out to the swan. “It must get lonely with no other swans around.”
“Oh, she’s not alone. You can see her cygnets if you look closely.” He pointed at a few small gray blobs in the water.
They were difficult to make out at that distance and with the muddy color of the pond. But when Rose squinted, she could discern three tiny fluffy feathered bodies gliding after the larger swan.
“Aw, they’re adorable!”
“Best keep your distance, though. Swans are very protective of their young.” He glanced at her. “If you want, I can give you a heads-up when the male is set to return.”
Rose nodded. “I would like that very much. Thank you.”
After waving goodbye, she headed to her condo, but her thoughts remained with the swans. She couldn’t help seeing the parallel between her situation and theirs. Part of her envied the female swan’s faith that her male companion was alive and well and would someday return. In contrast, Rose had multiple ways to reach Steven, but no matter how hard she tried, the two of them couldn’t seem to connect.