Chapter 46
forty-six
LUCY
Itexted Bree asking if I could swing by, but I didn’t exactly warn her how wrecked I was. She told me to come over but that Callan wasn’t around, which is probably for the best.
The second I open the door to their place, I break all over again.
Bree’s head snaps up from where she’s leaned on the kitchen counter, eyes wide. “Lucy? Oh my god, what happened?”
I can’t even speak at first, letting the sobs shake through me as I stumble toward the couch. Bree sets her phone down, hurrying over.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Breathe.”
I press my face into my hands and finally manage to choke out, “Everything’s just…too much today.”
“What happened?”
I take a shuddering breath, trying to organize my jumble of emotions. “I don’t even know where to start,” I manage, accepting the tissue Bree presses into my hand. “Aidan and I had a fight. About Emily and…well, everything.”
Bree’s expression darkens at the mention of Emily’s name. She’s only heard bits and pieces about Isla’s mother, but it’s been enough for her to form a strong opinion.
“What did she do now?”
“It’s not even her, not directly. It’s Aidan. He’s been making custody arrangements without telling me. And when I asked him about it, he made a comment about Isla like I don’t…like I’m not…” My voice breaks again.
“Oh, Lucy.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into her side.
“I know it’s complicated,” I say, my voice wavering. “I know legally I don’t have any standing with her.” I twist the tissue between my fingers, shredding it. “But I’ve been there, Bree. Every day.”
Bree squeezes my shoulder. “I know you have.”
I rest my hand on my stomach, feeling the slight swell there. At nearly fourteen weeks, I’m finally starting to show a bit.
“It breaks my heart to think I might always be an outsider when it comes to Isla,” I tell Bree. “Will I just be the woman who takes care of her but isn’t really her mother?”
Bree shifts to face me, her golden waves falling forward as she leans in. “Lucy MacKenzie, listen to me. Biology isn’t what makes a family. Love does. That little girl adores the shit out of you.”
I nod, trying to draw comfort from her words, but the ache in my chest won’t ease.
“Besides,” Bree continues, “Aidan might think he’s some big, tough guy handling everything on his own, but he doesn’t realize you’ve got twice the balls he does.”
I choke on a laugh despite my tears. “Bree!”
“I’m serious!” She leans back, crossing her arms. “Look at you. You’re growing an entire human being while dealing with his ex drama and still showing up every day.
Meanwhile, he can’t even have a simple conversation without going all caveman protective.
” She mimics a deep voice. “Me Aidan. Me handle legal stuff alone.”
Her assessment is ridiculous but…oddly comforting. I can’t help but laugh.
“I just feel so stupid,” I admit, wiping my eyes. “I thought he and I were past this.”
“Look, men like him think being strong means carrying everything themselves. But real strength? That’s what you’re doing. Facing things, asking for what you need. At least that’s what my therapist says.”
This right here is why I came to Bree. This is exactly what I needed.
“Thank you,” I sniffle. “I just wish he’d see that shutting me out hurts more than whatever he’s trying to shield me from.”
She nods, tucking her feet under her. “So, what are you going to do?”
I close my eyes, exhaustion washing over me. “I don’t know. I told him I’d be back before Isla’s bedtime.”
“And you will be,” she says firmly. “But not before we eat something and you pull yourself together. No offense, but you look like hell.”
I smirk. “Thanks.”
“Come on,” she says, pulling me to my feet. “Let’s get some food in you. That baby needs nutrition even when Mr. Tall, Dark, and Grumpy is being an idiot.”
Then she leans down, dropping her voice as she brushes a hand over my stomach. “Sorry, little one,” she coos. “Your dad’s not really an idiot. Not all the time, at least.”
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up as the tightness in my chest eases just a little.