Chapter 36
Sitting cross-legged beside the fireplace in the nursery, Lizzy fast asleep in her cradle, Agnes gently stroked the slumbering fox cub.
The healer had just departed, having given the little fox an array of tinctures and powders and tonics. It was obvious that it had all been very strange to her to treat a fox cub, but she had not said a word about it.
“Will he be all right?” Agnes had asked.
The healer had smiled. “If it’s what I think it is, then he should be. Me own dog ate some poisonous berries when he was a pup, and he’s just turned twelve years old.”
Still, Agnes couldn’t quieten her fear that Snout might not make it through the night. The cub had become so dear to her, and to Lizzy, that it would break her. Indeed, Gordon had been right when he had said they were a family in their own way, the three of them and the fox.
She could not bear the thought of losing someone else.
A light rap on the door made her lift her head.
“How is he?” Gordon asked, leaning against the jamb.
“He finally accepted some food and water, and his breathing is steady now,” she replied. “He’s not whimpering anymore either. The healer thinks he will be all right, but… he is so small.”
Gordon moved toward her and sat down right there on the hearth rug, reaching out his hand to lightly stroke the tiny creature.
“Small, aye, but he’s strong like the rest of his family.
Strong like ye, lass. He can handle whatever this is, and he will survive it.
” His throat bobbed. “He wouldnae let ye down by abandonin’ ye when ye need him. ”
She frowned. “Are we still talking about Snout?”
“Of course we are,” he said, with a wry smile. “Lass, if he can survive bein’ dropped into a cold lake by a bird and Lizzy batterin’ his head instead of strokin’ him, he can survive this.”
Agnes glanced down at the cub, watching how tenderly Gordon was petting him, and prayed with everything she had that he was right.
The motion of being carried woke Agnes with a start, her eyes fluttering open to find Gordon’s face so close to her own, his strong arms beneath her, carrying her to the bed.
“What are you doing?” she protested.
He looked at her. “Ye fell asleep beside the fire. I thought ye’d be more comfortable in yer bed.”
“I have to stay with Snout,” she said, writhing so that he would set her down.
But he continued toward the bed and lowered her onto the blankets. “Snout is fine,” he assured her with a smile. “He woke up while ye were asleep.”
“I don’t believe you.” She sat up, ready to scramble off the bed, when she heard a tiny yip and watched as the furry cub came bounding through the adjoining door as if nothing had been wrong with him.
“I wouldnae lie to ye, lass,” Gordon said with a raised eyebrow, a note of hurt in his voice. “I would have woken ye when he started bitin’ the hem of me kilt and goin’ after me boots, but ye looked like ye needed rest.”
He bent to scoop the fox up and dropped him gently on the bed.
“I told ye he was strong.” He smiled as the cub jumped into Agnes’s lap.
Agnes stroked the animal’s fuzzy head and bent down to kiss him. “You made it through,” she murmured. “Oh, thank goodness, you made it through.”
“Aye, so ye can cease yer frettin’.”
She held the cub to her chest, hugging him. “You had me so scared, Snout. Don’t you ever do that again.”
The cub licked her face, bringing a laugh to her lips.
It was at that moment that she noticed that Gordon was lounging on the bed, lying sideways, watching them.
“Clearly, you have forgotten what I said,” she remarked. “You should not be in my bed.”
“I am on yer bed,” he corrected. “And I’m nae leavin’ ye tonight.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Pardon?”
“Well, Snout cannae protect ye when he’s been unwell, so I’ll have to take his place,” he explained.
“You can’t. I will not allow it.”
He shrugged. “I’m yer husband; I have a duty to make sure ye’re safe and well. A duty that supersedes yer forbiddin’.”
“You have no right to go against my wishes,” she insisted, her anger rising.
Did he think she had been joking when she had sent him out of her room? Did he think she had forgotten his rejection so quickly? She would not sleep beside him, even if she had to sleep on the floor.
“Daenae be stubborn, lass,” he sighed.
“I am not the stubborn one,” she shot back.
“You are the one who is so determined to punish yourself and make yourself miserable that you keep hurting me, too. I have never, ever thought of you as a monster, Gordon, but you came rather close to being one when you rejected me the other night. A night when I needed your comfort and your closeness more than I ever have.”
His brow creased, and he sat up, his eyes clouding with hurt. “Ye sent me away, love. I did as ye wanted.”
Love?
She blinked, wondering if she had misheard.
“No, you didn’t. If you had done as I wanted, you would have spent the entire night, and every night since, with me,” she pointed out, her cheeks flaming. “I only sent you away because you pushed me away first.”
“Why did ye nae say that ye needed me to stay with ye?” He shuffled closer to her.
“I did! It was right there, when I said you could not stay in my bed unless to consummate our marriage.” Her voice cracked.
“I gave you a choice, and you did not choose me, Gordon. You did not choose me because… because you do not want what I want, and… honestly, I do not know how we will manage a future together. What future can we possibly have?”
He took the cub from her and placed him on the floor before taking hold of her hands. “Daenae say that, love.”
“Why do you keep saying that?” she blurted out.
“What?”
“Love. Why do you keep calling me that?”
A soft, sad smile curved his mouth. “Because I love ye, ye goose. I love ye, and… I’m sorry for hurtin’ ye.
I’m sorry I rejected ye the other night.
I’m sorry I wasnae with ye when ye needed me, and I’m sorry I’ve been such an arse.
I was afraid, that’s all. Afraid of lovin’ ye and losin’ ye, but…
an old friend told me I should be happy no matter what and that I should have a horde of bairns with the lass I love. ”
“What?” she rasped, unable to believe her ears.
He was saying everything she had hoped he would say, his apology a balm to her wounded heart, his words stoking up the little flame of hope that she had thought might sputter out.
“I love ye, Sunshine, and I want to spend every night and every day with ye from now on. I want to be a faither to Lizzy, and though a horde is probably too many, I do want to be a faither to any other bairns we might have. I want a family with ye, whatever that looks like. I’m nae afraid anymore, love. ”
Time seemed to slow down as Agnes sat there staring at him, her hands cradled in his, rocked to her core that her husband was finally saying such things to her.
It was almost more arousing than that thing he did with his tongue, to hear him promise to be a true husband and father, to hear that he was no longer standing in his own way.
She threw herself at him, looping her arms around his neck and hugging him with all of her might.
“I love you too,” she croaked, her heart so full. “My goodness, I love you too. And… I am grateful to your friend for knocking some sense into you.”
He chuckled, a hearty, rich sound that rumbled through his chest and vibrated into hers. “As am I.” He pulled back for a moment. “Now, if ye’ll just excuse me, I’m goin’ to put Snout in the nursery. I daenae want him disturbin’ what I have planned for our belated weddin’ night.”
She flushed with happiness, her stomach fluttering with anticipation as he got down off the bed and swept the cub into the crook of his arm.
She watched him, admiring the ripple of his back and the shapely muscles of his calves as he walked to the nursery, set the cub down, and closed the adjoining door.
It was a pleasant view, but she rather preferred this one: the view of the man she loved, and who loved her in return, walking back toward her with a sly smile on his lips and hunger in his eyes.