Chapter Eight
The day had started out just fine. Or rather, it had started about the same as every other day had since Jed’s marriage.
He and Maeve woke up groggy and a bit sleep-deprived, had breakfast with an entirely too-chipper Lila, and then he set out to do the morning chores while Maeve took care of the housework.
That morning had been even better, given that Sadie was coming for a visit.
Any time Miss Whitaker came into the picture, Maeve tended to be more willing to show more of herself to Jed.
Her usual surly expression would break far more often; not exactly for a smile, but something a bit lighter in appearance.
She reminded Jed of dandelions in the early hours of morning; folded up tight until they found a familiar light source.
He knew they were going to leave for supplies that day.
It wasn’t an out-of-the-blue decision, and Jed had fully prepared himself to be solely responsible for Lila that afternoon.
With the speed he’d worked that morning, all the necessary tasks had been taken care of; he’d even managed to get the vegetable garden tilled and ready for planting.
The rest of the day would be spent with Lila, who–outside of her nightly fussing–had been a rather good-natured child.
That was, until Jed couldn’t find any bread or oats for their evening meal.
He checked the pantry multiple times, secretly hoping his next peek would suddenly create more of Lila’s favorite foods.
What started as impatient babbling soon turned into a generally fussy attitude, and by the time Jed had confirmed that not a scrap of her preferred food existed anywhere on the property, Lila had worked herself up into a full-blown meltdown.
Her tantrum had lasted until well after supper, and nothing Jed did seemed to please her.
Rocking, bouncing, funny faces; he tried every trick in his arsenal, but each one only seemed to sour the toddler’s mood further.
It was obvious she was hungry, but nothing seemed to be good enough for her.
A spoonful of leftover stew was flung to the ground, while an attempt at buttering some hardtack resulted in said hardtack being thrown back in his face. Literally.
Jed continued his attempts to reason with the shrieking child, laying her on the ground on top of her favorite blanket while he tried to talk over her cries. “Lila, you gotta eat something!”
She continued to scream.
“You can’t be so picky,” Jed continued desperately. “I know ye’re hungry, so just eat something else!”
More screaming. His ears were beginning to ring.
“Lila, please!” Jed moved to sit the girl upright, her arms and legs thrashing about wildly.
He got a bit too close, paying the price as a balled-up fist struck him surprisingly hard in the nose.
A pained tingle shot up the bridge of it, causing his own temper to finally surface. “Lila, if you ain’t gonna calm down–!”
Something started to pound furiously against the front of the door.
Whatever fire burned in Jed’s chest immediately snuffed out at the sound. He froze, his hands under Lila’s arms as she continued to scream her poor face red. Again, the door shuddered under someone’s fists, this time with the addition of Maeve’s voice.
Maeve.
Immediately, Jed threw Lila onto his hip and raced to undo the locks.
Maeve was back! Finally, another adult to help him.
No sooner had he undone the last lock was he stumbling back, barely avoiding the forceful swing of the door.
His wife lurched into the cabin, stared at its interior for a beat, then turned her full attention to him, her eyes completely ablaze.
“What on earth have you been doing, Jed?!”
Anger. He hadn’t expected anger. He was already angry himself, wound tight after hours of Lila shrieking in his ear. Jed didn’t mean to erupt on Maeve…but he did it anyway.
“What’ve I–! I’ve been watching Lila!”
“Have you?!” Maeve gestured wildly around the house.
“‘Cause all I see is you making a complete mess of things!” She pointed forcefully at the scattered stew, the chipped bowl, and the dozen or so attempts at buttered hardtack, now crushed to pieces across the kitchen floor. “What, did you think redecorating the cabin were helpful?! An’ why is she screaming like a banshee?”
“Yer shouting ain’t helping things!” Jed snapped.
A furious snarl clawed its way free from Maeve. With a snap of her arm, Lila was suddenly in her grasp, and Jed watched as his wife stormed into the kitchen. “Has she not eaten since I left? What sort of grown man don’t feed a child?!”
“She won’t eat anything I give her!” Jed insisted.
“What, the two things you tried giving her? You decided that were enough trying fer the day? Decided to just let her go hungry ‘till I got back?”
“I–?” Jed briefly forgot how to speak, completely fixated on Maeve maneuvering about the kitchen.
She was practically a blur, pulling out jars of mashed foods seemingly from nowhere.
His heart dropped as soon as she pulled a spoon out from the drawer and handed it to Lila, who, much to his relief and frustration, immediately stopped crying.
She stared at the spoon with wide, teary eyes, then gingerly grasped it with her tiny hands as Maeve started to open a jar one-handed.
She liked to play with spoons. Jed stared at the two in the kitchen, stunned. How had he completely forgotten that Lila liked playing with her spoon? He’d seen her do it so many times before. How had he forgotten something so comically simple?
“Jed!” Maeve snapped, bringing him back out of his head. “You told me you could handle her!”
Jed felt his tongue tie in his mouth.
“You told me she weren’t gonna be a problem!”
He wasn’t good at this. Thomas was good at this sort of thing.
“Am I just not allowed to leave no more? I gotta stay here and watch the two of you?”
He had to say something.
“Ye’re supposed to be my pardner in this!”
He’d had so much to say earlier. Why couldn’t he find the words now?
“Lord give me strength–!” A loud pop sounded as the lid finally released from its jar, and Maeve scooped the open jar up into her free hand. She shifted Lila on her hip and stormed off through the back door. “I ain’t gonna stand here while you just stare at me like some mindless, slack-jawed fool!”
The back door slammed shut, shaking Jed out of his stupor.
He started through the house and grabbed the doorknob, swinging it open as the cool night air poured into the house.
Maeve’s silhouette was already at the barn, and Jed watched as she somehow opened that massive door while juggling Lila and the jar and slipped inside.
For a moment, all he could do was stand in the cabin’s doorframe. Indecision crushed him, and Jed glanced over his shoulder back into the cabin. It really was a mess in there… How had he not noticed the mess?
Taking a deep breath, Jed took a step out into the night.
He made sure to close the door behind him before treading across the yard, the spring chill in the air nipping at his face.
There was a brief moment, a flicker in the back of his head, that had him considering walking straight off the property and leaving altogether.
She was so angry with him…and he’d been of no use to her whatsoever.
Had he just made things worse? Would it have been better if he’d never seen that ad in the first place?
Jed continued his walk over to the barn.
He quietly slipped through the still-open doorway, the sweet scent of hay now causing his stomach to turn.
There was a soft murmur of cattle to his left, some having likely been stirred upon Maeve’s arrival.
He peered through the gloom, trying to work out where his wife would’ve taken Lila.
Then he heard Maeve speaking softly.
He followed the noise toward the other end of the barn, where a singular stall held the farm’s dairy cow.
She was sat in a pile of hay with Maeve curled up against her back while feeding Lila the last bit of whatever mush was in that jar.
The dairy cow–Mossy, Jed thought she was named–curiously pushed her muzzle against Lila’s shoulder while she ate.
Then, once the jar was empty, Mossy’s long tongue began to slurp the toddler’s face clean, much to Lila’s delight.
For a moment, Jed simply watched the peaceful scene play out.
“I can sense you lurking over there, Jed.”
Splinters of moonlight poured in from the front of the barn, catching the blue of Maeve’s eyes as they settled on Jed.
He cautiously stepped into the pen, easing to the ground so as not to interrupt Lila and Mossy.
For a moment, he and his wife simply watched the toddler interact with the animal, the girl waving her spoon excitedly to and away from Mossy’s tongue as the cow occasionally got a lick in.
Then, suddenly, Maeve spoke up once more. “Why you ain’t call yer stallion by his name?”
It was such a sudden change in topic. Jed stared at Maeve for a moment, trying to understand where the question even came from. “I…uh…?” he blinked, rubbing a hand through his mess of hair. “He weren’t originally mine. Not really.” Everything he’d ever worked to get belonged to Thomas, after all.
Maeve shifted Lila slightly in her lap. “Ain’t right, just calling him ‘the horse’.”
Jed couldn’t help but offer a quizzical smile. “Suppose it ain’t, no.”
Another beat passed between them. “I’d call him, ‘Ash’, personally.”
What on earth was this conversation?
“It ain’t very creative, given his coat,” Maeve went on, sounding equal parts defensive and embarrassed, “b-but, names ain’t gotta always be creative. That’s what I think, anyway.”
She shifted against Mossy, and it took Jed a moment to realize she’d made some space for him to sit beside her. He obliged, shuffling across the stall before propping his back carefully against Mossy’s. The older cow’s tail flicked, batting playfully against his shoulder as he did so.
Another beat passed between them.
Lila’s tiny hands found their way to Mossy’s snout, and she squealed in delight as she got a lick across her tear-stained cheeks.
“I’m-” Jed hesitated, then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It weren’t right, me yelling like I did.”
Maeve shrugged her shoulders lightly.
“No, really,” Jed insisted. “I–I said I’d take care of Lila, but that’s been on you fer the most part.”
“It ain’t yer fault, Jed. Being in charge of the housework and all–I mean, I weren’t thinking ‘bout how it would all work when I first said what I said.” Maeve sighed, stretching her back out across Mossy.
“I dunno. Part of me thought not much would change. But working in the sun all day, and with dangerous tools?” She chuckled lightly.
“I dunno how I thought you’d do that and while being solely responsible fer Lila. ”
Another sigh, much heavier than the first.
“Guess there’s a lot about married life I didn’t think about before sending that there ad out. Though, in my defense,” she added matter-of-factly, “it weren’t me who got it in her head to write one in the first place.”
Jed couldn’t help but chuckle. “I reckon Sadie put you up to it?”
Maeve giggled in return. “Don’t sound so proud of yerself. That weren’t a hard guess to make.”
“She the reason you name yer animals, too?” Jed asked.
“No. That one’s all me.” Maeve shifted her arms underneath her head, causing her hair to spill out across Mossy’s back.
“Started with my Ma, or so Pa used to say. Back when they had just a handful of dairy cows to work with. Just about all the cattle here were, in some way or another, bred from those cows my Ma named.”
She chuckled, but it sounded a bit forced, as if whatever memory was passing by her eyes weighed on her considerably.
“Pa didn’t let me even breathe near them until I were fifteen.
Mossy was the first calf I were fully in charge of, an’ I raised her all on my own.
” She shifted, giving Mossy’s back a hearty pat.
“She helps me feel closer to the woman who gave birth to me. Pa would tell me stories, but…” Maeve shrugged weakly, her sentence petering out.
A twinge of kinship stirred in Jed’s chest. “I get what you mean. Didn’t have a chance to meet my Ma either.” He slipped his hat off his head, his fingers tracing the worn edges of the brim. “Supposedly this were the hat she were always seen in. Pa said she even wore it fer their wedding.”
That got a startled snort out of Maeve.
“Pa swore up and down it were true!” Jed laughed. “He figures she were probably born wearing this here hat.”
Maeve shifted to her side, giving his hat a close inspection. “It looks good, what with it probably being older than me.”
Jed’s laughter softened as he slipped the hat back onto his head. “Yeah… I try my best to take care of it.”
“Y’always try yer best to take care of things.”
The compliment was completely unexpected.
Maeve must’ve felt the same way, because a noticeable blush began to tinge her cheeks red.
Jed wasn’t sure how long they stared at each other in that awkward silence, but it was long enough to realize that the world had truly gone silent.
He glanced beside Maeve, catching Lila curled up in the crook of Mossy’s neck. She was fast asleep.
He turned back to Maeve, who had come to the same realization.
“Do we-” Maeve began.
“Are we just gonna-” Jed started.
They both stopped. Stared. Maeve’s blush grew.
“We…we probably shouldn’t let her sleep outside,” Maeve said.
Jed nodded, having had a similar thought. “Do…do you wanna lay her down while I clean up the house?”
Maeve blinked, seemingly taken aback. “You sure?”
“I were the one who made the mess in the first place.”
“Yeah, but ain’t it my job to… I mean, since I’m the wife, an…?” Maeve’s sentence trailed off, as if she wasn’t entirely certain what she was going to say.
“I think…” Jed exhaled, trying his best not to overthink his words. “I think we do better when we ain’t trying to paint ourselves into a corner. When we just do what’s gotta be done. Not cause it’s our particular duty as husband and wife, but…”
Another pause. Another breath.
“But cause we’re pardners. Which means helping each other with keeping our home running, even if it ain’t our ‘job’.”
The thought felt revolutionary to Jed. He was almost shocked he’d been the one to say it. Maeve looked equally stunned at his proclamation, though she didn’t seem opposed to the idea.
“Partners…” She rolled the word around her mouth. Her face scrunched slightly, but to Jed, it wasn’t out of distaste. It was more like…experiencing a new flavor. “Alright. We can try that, if ye’re willing.”
Jed realized in that moment, he genuinely was willing. Not out of obligation, or out of a desperation to feel needed. He wanted to, plain and simple. And that, he realized, was going to be a strange idea to get used to.