Chapter Twelve
‘What on earth’s going on with Maeve?’
The thought hounded Jed as he got a pot boiling on the stovetop.
From the moment their guests had arrived, Maeve had looked stiffer than freshly-tanned leather.
She sat at the table with uncharacteristically straight posture, keeping Lila on whichever side was the farthest from Ms. Miller.
The orphanage owner, at least on initial greeting, didn’t seem to have done anything to earn that level of ire from his wife.
The slight raise of Joshua’s brow only confirmed that, but Jed could only offer a shrug in return.
“You like soda bread and juneberry jam, Ms. Miller?” Jed asked politely.
Ms. Miller gave an enthusiastic nod. “Oh, yes please! I have a bit of a sweet tooth, Mr. Mercer, so I’ll take any opportunity to satiate it.” She glanced Maeve’s way, offering another slight wave to Lila while adding, “Does the little one like sweet things as well, Mrs. Mercer?”
Maeve shifted Lila farther away from Ms. Miller. “I suppose she does.”
“She usually likes chewing bread with butter,” Jed added hastily. He shot a look toward Maeve but she refused to meet it, causing a flicker of irritation to stir within him.
Joshua cleared his throat, perhaps in an attempt to steer the conversation, and focus, onto himself. “I’ve been doing my best to keep Ms. Miller informed ‘bout li’l Lila up ‘til now. She’s fairly caught up on all events, save any happenings these last few days.”
“Oh, yes,” Ms. Miller agreed. “I’ve heard wonderful things about the two of you. To think, this poor angel was left all alone in the wilds, and at nighttime!” She shook her head sadly. “I don’t know what her mother was thinking. Why, imagine if an animal had found her before you did, Mr. Mercer?”
It wasn’t a pleasant thought, and certainly not one Jed wanted to entertain any further.
He finished slicing their last bit of soda bread before placing it onto the tea tray, adding the jar of jam with two extra spoons and bringing it to the table.
Ms. Miller gave the additional silverware a curious glance, but Maeve was quick to snatch it up and hand it off to Lila.
“She likes playing with spoons,’ Maeve stated plainly.
Jed grimaced at the obvious edge to his wife’s voice.
“How charming!” Ms. Miller crooned. “I’ll have to take note of our stock once I return to town.”
Joshua cleared his throat once more, turning everyone’s attention back to the conversation at hand. “Ms. Miller was telling me how successful things’ve been fer spring. She’s freed up a fair number o’ beds at her place.”
Ms. Miller nodded enthusiastically and reached for a slice of bread.
“My work isn’t always the happiest, but it certainly is fulfilling.
The Lord works at His own pace, and I’m more than willing to be there to support the families He puts on the same paths together.
” She gave the bread a thick layer of jam, then offered it to Lila.
Maeve looked ready to swat the older woman’s hand away.
Thankfully her arms remained around Lila, and Jed watched as the little girl enthusiastically grabbed the slice. She squeezed her fist tightly, jam oozing between her fingers while she cackled in delight.
“Ooh, my!” Ms. Miller laughed. “What a spirited little thing you are, Lila!”
Jed was inclined to agree. “She’s a good girl, Ms. Miller. Gonna make a family awful happy, I reckon.”
His words seem to visibly affect Maeve. She suddenly stood, Lila still on her hip, and quickly made her way through the kitchen and out the back door. She hardly looked Jed’s way, and as the door slammed loudly behind her, the three of them were left in stunned silence.
“Oh, dear…” Ms. Miller sounded deflated. “Have I done something to upset your wife, Mr. Mercer?”
Joshua seemed to be equally curious, though he relayed his question silently through his facial expression. Jed wasn’t sure how to answer either of them; in truth, he was just as taken aback at Maeve’s sudden hostility as they were. He knew he had to say something regardless.
“It might be… Lila ain’t the best sleeper at night. Think me an’ the missus are a bit tired, is all.”
The kettle began to whistle. Jed hardly heard it, his mind continuing to work out the truth of the matter.
It seemed implausible, but...part of him was certain Maeve was acting too protective for it to be anything else.
Something had shifted in his wife’s priorities, and Lila had apparently become far more important to her than before.
Now he just needed to go and confirm it for himself.
“Um…pardon me, Ms. Miller. Joshua, if it ain’t any trouble-?”
The sheriff immediately stood and moved toward the stove, removing the pot from its surface. He gave Jed a reassuring nod, then set about making himself and Ms. Miller a cup of tea.
Jed offered a grateful nod to him in return, then quickly made his way after Maeve.
She hadn’t made it too far into the backyard, seemingly pacing back and forth along the pasture gate with Lila in her arms. Jed jogged over to meet her, and was completely taken aback at the hostile glare she greeted him with.
“Maeve, what’s wit’ the ornery attitude?” He did his best to keep the irritation out of his voice. “Ms. Miller ain’t deserve of any of that.”
Maeve grumbled something unintelligible.
Everything about her reminded him of the first time they’d met, from her closed-off posture to the scowl on her face.
She looked like a stranger to him, like someone ready to shoot first and talk later.
It hurt Jed more than he expected, and angered him too.
“I thought we’d gotten past keeping things to ourselves? ”
Her grim look darkened considerably. “I reckoned we had too, ‘til you decided to act all cold toward me after mentioning ‘Thomas’.”
Jed’s breath caught painfully in his chest. “I– Look, I didn’t mean fer it to come off like that. Thom–!”
Even now, Jed couldn’t bring himself to say the man’s name when he was aware of it.
“He…he’s just a sore subject. Ain’t nothing you did on yer part.”
Maeve looked unconvinced.
“Look, this ain’t about him anyway.” Jed tried to take a step toward her, but she took a healthy step back, shifting Lila away from view as best she could.
That stung far more than Jed wanted to admit, but it confirmed the inkling in the back of his mind that Lila had grown to be important in Maeve’s life.
Even so, the somewhat childish act sparked his own anger, which filled his chest with a roar. “Maeve, stop! I’m tryin’ to talk with you!”
“I ain’t wanting to talk!”
Maeve turned and quickly started walking down the length of the fence. Jed followed after her. “Maeve, I don’t get it. We both agreed Lila weren’t meant to stay with us.”
At least, he'd assumed they still both agreed.
“We–we’re struggling with her, Maeve.”
At least, he thought they still were.
“We’ve only just started to learn how to work well with each other.
An’ after that there day with the bulls…
Samuel ain’t always gonna make it in time to help us!
He’s overworked as it is, what with his own ranch to keep up with and bandits to look out for.
It ain’t fair of us to rely on him as much as we do! ”
Maeve just continued down the fence. Jed kept following after her.
“We gotta be a team!” Jed insisted. “An’ if we ain’t gotta worry ‘bout Lila, we can both work together on the property!”
Maeve just kept going. His words weren’t reaching her. Or they weren’t the right words to make her stop. Jed didn’t know what those magic words were, though. He never did; it had always been Thomas’ job to know that.
Jed didn’t know anything. Not anything about raising a child, at any rate.
They’d managed so far, but something like the bulls could happen again.
It would happen again; that was the nature of ranch work.
It was a dangerous job; that much Jed knew for certain.
He thought Maeve understood that, growing up in the same line of business as she had.
Yet she was stomping around and throwing a fit like this was the first time she’d considered any of this.
And with the addition of bandit raids around the territory… If he let Lila get in the middle of a shootout, Jed wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself. He wasn’t mentally strong enough for that. He wasn’t clever, like Thomas was. Certainly not clever enough to find a way to ensure Lila’s safety.
“Maeve, this ain’t a suitable life fer a child, an’ you know that!”
That did it. Those words finally stopped Maeve in her tracks. Relief flickered through Jed, and he managed to catch up to her at last. But as he reached a reassuring hand toward his wife’s shoulder, she spun sharply to meet his gaze.
Her expression felt like it could burn him where he stood.
“It ain’t suitable?” Maeve’s words were laced with venom, and she seemed desperate to spit it his way. “My life, my whole upbringing, ain’t suitable fer a child, hm?”
A pit of ice immediately formed in Jed’s stomach. He’d made a terrible blunder. He’d said the wrong thing. “N-No, I weren’t meaning-”
“You weren’t meaning?!” Maeve’s voice jumped an octave, pulling a panicked cry from Lila. She shifted the toddler closer to her chest, wrapping her securely in her arms while visibly straining to keep her own temper in check.
“No, Jed. You weren’t meaning nothing. Not being open with me, not seeing me as yer partner in all this– What were the point of me opening up to you if you were just gonna throw it back in my face?!”
She squeezed her eyes shut and inhaled sharply.
Jed’s mind drew a blank. He had to say something. “I–I just don’t think I can do it, Maeve. I ain’t her father.”
“There ain’t any– You ain’t gotta be blood to–!” Maeve let out a furious snarl, causing Lila to whimper once more. “Fine. Fine! Go back in and tell that there woman to take her, then. Tell her you ain’t capable of watching her, that you ain’t any good fer her. Even though I–!”
Even though she trusted he could.