Chapter Forty-Seven Will
Chapter Forty-Seven
Will
The only thing I love more than Everleigh’s brave smile is the way her hand always searches for mine, whether we’re walking down the aisle of the hardware store, making snow angels in the empty field between the barndominium and the pond, or lying in bed, staring out the window at the stars.
We’ve been in Missoula for two months, but our friends and her mom think we’re still in Key West. Every day, I expect a knock on the door because Fitz or Maren might decide to drive by the property and see us outside.
A chance encounter at the grocery store.
Pulling up to the same stoplight at the same time.
Fitz and Jamie parked my Bronco here when I texted to tell them we wouldn’t be coming back for a while. I’m shocked no one has mentioned seeing me driving around town. Granted, we’re usually in Everleigh’s truck because we’re hauling stuff back for the barndo.
Most days are good days. Scratch that. Most days are fabulous days. But some days, I find Everleigh staring at a wall or something random—like this morning, it’s her cup of coffee—and I know she’s still struggling to find herself again.
“Do you ever think I should have taken you to Baltimore? Maybe not for the job, but maybe to visit the second most brilliant psychiatrist to help you find your feet again?” I ask, buttering our toast and setting it on two plates along with sliced kiwi and hard-boiled eggs.
She gives me a soft smile when I set the plate in front of her. Eighty percent of the interior is finished, but the kitchen table is just a card table and chairs. We want to make our own table out of reclaimed wood, but we haven’t gotten around to it.
“I feel . . .” She takes a bite of kiwi and chews it slowly.
“Selfish. I feel like I have a lot to offer, and I’m just hiding out in this beautiful home with the world’s sexiest man, and it’s wonderful.
Perfect, really. But sometimes, I feel selfish for not offering my knowledge, my expertise, to help others. ”
“Maybe it’s time to get back on the horse.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to go back to the clinic here. And I don’t want to move. Not after we’ve done all of this work. And yeah, I sometimes wonder if I was arrogant and stupid to think that I could get through this with a little mind over matter and an insane amount of sex.”
I grin because I’m not even a little sorry about the insane amount of sex.
“I don’t know,” she says before sipping her coffee.
“Maybe I should keep working on gaming therapy. But it’s hard to do without funds and access to proper testing.
I suppose I could write books. Start a YouTube channel?
TED Talks? Something useful, until . . .
” She sets her mug on the table and sighs.
My phone screen illuminates. “Well, look at this.” I hold up my phone so she can see the message and photo from Fitz.
Aster Samantha Fitzgerald 6 lbs 9 oz and perfect
Everleigh cups a hand over her mouth, and tears fill her eyes as she stares at the photo of Jamie in a hospital gown holding their newborn baby girl. “We have to go see them.”
I laugh, setting my phone down. “They think we’re in Florida.”
“But we’re not.” She scoots back in her chair, abandoning her breakfast to make a beeline for the bedroom.
“So we’re just going to show up unannounced?” I ask, following her to the bedroom.
“Yes. It’s called visiting hours.” She removes her white robe and pulls on a pair of jeans. “Oh, we need to get a gift. And flowers. We can’t show up empty-handed. What do you think about getting something for Fitz too?”
“Baby, if we visit, then this all ends. We’ll have to engage with the real world again. Our friends won’t let us hole up in our barn, no jobs, no responsibilities.”
She pulls on a black sweater. “Fine. Whatever. But we’re going to see that baby.”
“If I knew a baby would bring you this much joy . . .”
She snaps her head up while pulling on socks. “What?”
“Nothing.” I change out of my old T-shirt into a newer one, something softer for Aster Samantha Fitzgerald, six pounds, nine ounces of pure perfection.
“Finish what you were going to say.” Everleigh steps into my personal space the second I turn from the closet.
“It was a figure of speech. There was nothing to finish.”
She folds her hands behind her back. I haven’t seen her fold them in front since we left Key West. Is Dr. Reichart gone for good?
I crack a smile and shake my head, glancing past her to the window for a beat. “I’m just going to throw this out there. You can ignore it if you want, and I won’t mention it again. It’s just a thought. Speculation of sorts.” I return my gaze to her. “We’d make beautiful babies.”
She blinks. That’s all I get.
“I mean”—I shrug like I don’t care, because she’s freaking me out with her silence—“you’re between jobs. And I can do whatever too. I’m allergic to cats, so I suppose a dog would be okay if you’d rather—”
She throws her arms around my neck and pulls me to her lips for a hungry kiss. I think it’s a good sign, but this woman has been hard to read lately, so I don’t want to assume anything.
“Put a baby in me,” she mumbles against my lips.
She doesn’t have to ask me twice.
Jamie’s jaw drops when we poke our heads around the corner of the hospital room. “What is going on?” she asks in a hushed tone so as not to scare her baby. “How did you get here so quickly?”
Fitz stands from the recliner by her bed and walks toward me with open arms. He’s beaming with pride. “How the hell are you?” he asks as if I’m the one who just became a father today.
“Never been better. Congratulations.” I deposit the flowers on the table by her bed and hug my best friend.
Everleigh sets the gift next to the flowers and leans in toward Jamie to get a look at Aster. “Oh my gosh,” she says. “I want one too.”
Jamie softly chuckles. “Well, you can’t have her, but I’ll let you hold her.” She passes her swaddled daughter to Everleigh.
I bend down and hug Jamie. “Congratulations. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks,” she says before kissing my cheek. “Now tell me, how did you get here before Maren and Ozzy?”
I look at Everleigh, but I’m not sure she heard Jamie because she’s so enamored of Aster.
“Well, we’ve actually been in Missoula for a little while, finishing the barndo, and spending some time together, alone.”
“Oh? How long is a while?” Jamie asks.
“Two months,” Everleigh says without taking her eyes off Aster. It’s like her arms were made to cradle a baby. How did I never imagine this side to her?
“Two months?” Jamie’s jaw drops.
“Yes. We needed a little time and space.” I give her a tight smile, hoping she’ll read between the lines. “It’s been therapeutic.”
“That’s code for Everleigh spent years making up stories about a father she never knew.
Seeing Will’s dad die triggered the release of buried emotions, and she’s needed time to work her way through that mess,” Everleigh says, tearing her gaze away from Aster just long enough to give us a toothy grin.
Fitz turns and stares out the window, hiding his discomfort with my girlfriend’s blunt confession. I’m sure he’s wondering why Jamie trusts someone who talks in third person to hold their newborn baby.
Jamie doesn’t skip a beat. Not a flinch or an extra blink. “You look well, Everleigh.” She gives her a genuine smile. “Beaming, actually.”
Everleigh hands Aster to me. “Don’t fumble her.”
I roll my eyes, taking the swaddled baby with confidence. “I have two nieces. I save babies from burning houses. They call me the baby whisperer.”
Jamie and Fitz snort in sync while Everleigh winks. “Good to know.”
I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I swear the way she looks at me is transparent, like everyone can read her thoughts.
Will and I had sex right before we came here. We stopped for flowers and a baby gift and had sex in the truck one more time for good measure.
Just as I think that, I realize the look on Everleigh’s face has morphed into something else. It’s a tenderness that feels like a gateway to her dreams. And I wonder if seeing me hold Aster evokes memories of our conversation and a longing to have this life too.
“I love you,” I say, not even realizing at first that the words are being spoken outside of my mind. It silences the room.
I look at Fitz and Jamie. It’s not that they don’t know it, but saying it so casually and out of the blue has left them a little wide-eyed.
Everleigh immediately wipes her tears. We’re not a dirty little secret.
I’m not keeping her hidden from my friends so I don’t have to explain our complicated relationship.
I shrug, smiling down at Aster’s peaceful little face before looking at Everleigh again.
That’s when I see Maren, Ozzy, and Lola standing behind her.
How much have they heard? Probably a lot since Maren looks like she might cry too.
They’re here to see a baby, but I’ve unintentionally taken the stage.
“I do,” I say. “I love you. I love you out loud—a billboard, banner-in-the-sky kind of love. And everyone in the room is your family. We are your people. With us, you’re just a normal girl who’s fallen for a ruggedly handsome fireman.”
Everleigh can’t wipe her face fast enough, there are too many tears. She startles when Maren taps her shoulder to hand her a tissue. Then, she gasps when she turns to see just how big her new family is.
“What is going on?” Maren asks, hugging Everleigh. “When did you get here? How did I not know you were on your way?”
Before I can answer, Lola rushes toward me with grabby hands. “Give her to me,” she demands.
“Sit in the chair first,” Ozzy says to her.
Once she’s perched in the recliner, I lay Aster in her arms. Fitz sits on the edge of Jamie’s bed and kisses her while Maren hovers over Lola to get a peek at Aster.
I pull Everleigh into my arms and kiss her forehead. “Now this is therapy,” I say. She grips my shirt and hums a “Mm-hm” while burying her face in the crook of my neck.