Chapter 35 #2
But the gods gave me more than magic.
They presented me with times I had to scrape my way through this world to survive the fates and callousness.
I was forged when they abandoned us, when they forsake humanity.
Fuck the gods.
My vision bleeds to red, tunneling with hatred, and I stalk towards the two locked in on each other.
At first they don’t notice me, not until I wrap my hands around The Nightmare's face and sink my fingernails into his cheeks. His skin peels underneath my grasp, slickening with his blood as I dig them farther into his flesh.
He screams, rage etching the shrill sound.
His fist promptly smashes into my face, right into my cheekbone and I immediately fall backwards with the blow.
My skull smacks the hard ground with a thud but I’m too busy watching The Nightmare kick Lis away, her body hitting the floor with a sickening crunch, before turning back to me with rivulets of blood streaming down his face.
My blood pumps rapidly, hot adrenaline causing me to shake as I skitter backwards.
My feet slip along the hard floor as The Nightmare closes in on me. I glance towards Lis, her unmoving form crumpled against the wall.
“You little cunt.” His snarl forces my eyes back to him.
He looks like a daemon of Haldir with the gore hanging off his face. His hand comes up to what is left of his cheek and he smears the sticky crimson between his fingers before running both hands through his greasy hair, coating the strands further with his blood.
If there were a god of malevolence, The Nightmare’s bloody effigy would surely honor them.
I should be afraid, I’d be stupid not to be, but my vision sharpens and an odd sense of peace settles over my body.
In a bout of defiance, I chuckle when he’s merely a few steps away. “I’ve seen men like you before, fragile little worms that you are.”
He stops, mid step, and slowly places his foot down while his brow quirks at me.
“You’ve never met anyone like me before, I can assure you that,” he chides.
Laughter erupts from me and his gaze turns more cruel, if it were possible.
“You dare mock me?” He steps closer again and I scooch away until my back is against the bedframe.
I begin to reconsider toying with him given the way his eyes turn punishing.
“I’ve had to teach others to remain in their place more times than you’d probably even fathom. You’re no different, you little bitch.”
His lip curls upwards as he begins to unbutton his leather vest, stripping away the soiled garment before rolling up his sleeves.
He continues, “Sometimes I find that breaking the mind isn’t enough. Sometimes we have to break the body before we can break the spirit.”
His hands slink to his belt and he rips it off in one swipe. He begins to wrap the belt around his hand, encircling it a few times until his knuckles are wrapped with it.
“Though, oftentimes,” his voice lowers almost to a growl, “it’s possible to accomplish both at the same time. While pleasurable for me, I can promise, it won’t be for you.”
My breath escapes shakily as my skin buzzes with awareness, my skin screams to let my magic slice through though the culling bands keeping it buried.
The Nightmare’s eyes ignite with something more sinister. I trace over the torn flesh and lips turned upwards into a sneer.
I swallow, with nowhere to go I begin to feel against the ground for anything I can use as a weapon.
“I won’t make it easy for you,” I say weakly, the fright more prominent than I would have liked.
He crouches in front of me, a toothly grin now spread across his face. “Death would be more merciful than what I’m about to do to you, little warrior.”
Ice fills my limbs and even my scalp prickles with predatory awareness.
Hoarsely, I say, “What did you call me?”
My lungs struggle to inflate with each inhale. There’s not enough air in the room suddenly and he’s too close. My hand trembles as I place it in front of me, as if that could stop him.
The Nightmare’s finger outstretches towards me and he whispers again, “Ahh, you see. I have secrets that no one knows about. My magic pries through your memories—good, bad, anything in between.”
He pulls his finger back towards him and with a twirl of his hand, his magic twists the reality again. It’s no longer The Nightmare in front of me crouching, instead it’s Kassiel. Though it’s not his voice that speaks next.
“Then I find weakness through understanding. It seems like you and Kassiel have your own secrets too.”
Tears spill over the rims of my eyes.
He shifts back to his own form, “It’s a pity that you actually fell for such a beast, isn’t it? I could be cruel and punish you while wearing his face, but I think I’d rather you know it was me that broke you in the end.”
A small cry escapes my lips as they part slightly.
His hand comes quickly around my neck and he jerks my chin up to face him. I kick out at him, fling my fists towards his face but it’s all useless as he uses his magic to stun me into submission, riddling my brain with images of Leeson’s body rotting with maggots burrowing into her flesh.
My body seems to float above itself as I watch him quickly wrap his leather belt around my mouth, gagging me in the process—all while terrors file through my mind one by one. Different scenarios, real and false, clicking through until my chest threatens to seize.
My eyes begin to roll before his hand comes harshly across my cheek, causing me to focus on his hideous face, returning my body to itself.
“Ahh, there she is.” His voice is dipped in pleasure.
My eyes shift slowly to where Lis still lays prone before lulling back to The Nightmare.
“See I don’t get it,” he says suddenly, “you still worry about others even when you’re amidst suffering.”
He lets out a low chuckle.
“Lis will be fine. If that’s where your mind drifts to even now.”
His demanding fingers snake into my hair and he grabs a chunk of it before ripping me upright with it. Hauling me to my feet he quickly spins me around until my belly lands on the bed.
A muffled scream tears from my chest and I practically choke on the leather in the process.
No. No.
“Nnnn!” The word doesn’t form but I kick my feet backwards in protest anyways.
His hand clenches around my throat and it constricts any air from coming in. Warning bells fire in my mind, blaring as I know what’s about to happen.
I retreat inward, shackling the walls around me with thick chains. I won’t be present for this, not again.
Distantly, a voice threads through my mind, raspy and inky, “Don’t deny me.”
I feel sick.
I will be sick.
A dry heave forces its way up but it has nowhere to go.
Just as I have nowhere to retreat to, not when The Nightmare can find me even here, no matter how small I make myself.
He forces his body against mine, immobilizing my legs in the process. His hands slide up my thighs, the pale blue nightgown the only barrier between us. I buck my hips, desperate to get out of his reach but it only makes the room fill with his laughter.
With a hard slap, his hand comes forcefully on my backside, smarting my skin. He does it again, hard enough I’m sure there will be angry bruising from it.
He doesn’t stop there. His greedy palms knead my skin, grabbing and pinching in ways that make me feel like I’m dying a little.
A sob wracks my body in a full quiver as I’m pressed farther into the bed.
His body is too warm, too needy. His forearms bead with sweat that drags across my breasts as he wraps his free arm under me, trapping me further.
His fingers dig into my scalp, forcing my face down into the silk sheets.
I inhale, the breath fraught, as the fabric pulls in closer with each inhale.
Suddenly the pressure is off of me. He’s no longer pressing down on me.
The air chills behind me and I’m grateful for the iciness.
I dare not move. I can’t risk this reprieve being a cruel joke from The Nightmare.
Another voice calls out—it’s distorted as my bearings still flop around.
A piercing ringing enters my ears and my body suddenly feels too heavy, my limbs threatening to sink through the bed.
I want to lay here on the sullied sheets because at least their familiarity can’t hurt me like other things that walk about.
“Alora,” the voice behind me causes me to flinch.
Maybe this is what The Nightmare meant by breaking me. Maybe the voice wasn’t really there because the last time I saw who it belonged to, he left me.
It couldn’t be—
“Kassiel,” another voice calls out, “why is she just laying there?”
Shuffling in the distance prods my senses though I can’t tear my eyes from the silken white sheets. It’s ironic that they look so pure and unblemished and yet would witness such vile things.
The belt that’s cinched around my mouth is loosened and slowly peeled away.
Saliva strings from my mouth to the belt as it finally is lifted away.
I close my mouth softly and my jaw aches with the movement.
My mouth tastes bitter, like leather and copper.
I poke around with my tongue and feel the cuts from the belt being pulled too tight, though the lacerations to my will are far deeper.
“Orlin, damned it, what did you do to my starlight?!” The King’s voice booms throughout the room.
A warm hand hovers over my back and holds there for a moment before withdrawing.
The crashing of a vase makes me almost jump off the bed. Worry for Lis allows me to escape the spiral. I flip from my belly and climb off the bed, grabbing the same damned white sheet that I just almost suffocated in and quickly wrap it around my shoulders.
A new wave of numbness is painted over my body and I let it blanket me, using it as another layer of armor.
The Nightmare leans against the nearby wall, his appearance still disheveled and savage. He doesn’t bother to look at me, instead he’s focused on King Euron who’s in the midst of throwing more things.
He continues his tantrum, screaming at Orlin before noticing Lis on the floor.