Chapter 45
Forty-Five
Icatch myself whistling. It’s no wonder my mood is buoyant—I’m packing and finally leaving this godforsaken house.
I’m pumped about the new pad—a cottage in Half Moon Bay that sits on a bluff overlooking the Pacific.
It’s small, with an open space on the main floor and a loft bedroom, but the bank of windows facing the ocean flood it with natural light, making it seem bigger than it is.
And it’s situated far enough away from the main house to give me privacy.
It’s the first time I’ll truly have a place all mine to call home.
A knock at the door—at least, I think that’s what I heard—has me moving to the front and flicking on the porch light, unsure who could be here at this time of night.
It’s Jacqui, and my pulse jumps as I take in her tear-stained cheeks and hunched shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
She steps inside and wordlessly sinks into me. I fold her in my arms and kick the door closed. My mind races as her chest heaves.
“Talk to me, Jax,” I murmur, squeezing her tighter.
“I just need a minute,” she whispers.
“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
Despite offering comfort to her obvious distress, warning flags blow in my whirling thoughts. It’s impossible to ignore the way her body fits against mine, clinging to me for support, and the indisputable contentment she brings even while sad.
How long can you walk a tightrope before falling off? Traverse a muddy slope before sliding all the way down? Fight a mutual attraction when it clashes like a snare drum every time you’re together?
I’ve stayed in my lane, fought acting on the pull to Jax when she’s in my airspace, talked myself in and out of taking back the girl I believe in my heart is mine.
Add in Remy behaving like a self-centered ass going on months now with the partying, irresponsibility, not being there for Jacqui when she needs him, and all I can think is fuck him for squandering this precious, pure fucking sunshine. He’s undeserving of her.
She sniffles and pulls away, taking a few pronounced swallows as she regains her composure. I offer her a glass of water and when I return to the living room, she’s settled on the couch.
Jax takes a deep breath then relives the whole shitshow that went down with Virginia Remington before Remy appeared and copped to participating in his mother’s scheme.
That family may have taken me under its wing, but it’s mega dysfunctional—with Virginia the chief offender and instigator.
I’m not surprised to hear she’s put an action plan in place to marry off Remy to someone appropriately wealthy and respected.
She’s always tried—and failed—to control him.
The more she tightens the noose, the more he dares her to kick out the horse he rides on.
To date, she’s never called his bluff, but now that he’s getting older, her underhanded tactics might yield results.
Money talks, bullshit walks. And Remy may be irresponsible, but he isn’t daft enough to walk away from his trust fund.
Just stupid enough to let Jacqui be a casualty.
It’s a win when I succeed at getting Jax laughing so hard she cries. My smile unfurls, chest swelling, and I’m startled again at her breathtaking beauty in all its forms. How comforting it is to be in her presence. How hungry and desperate I am for more.
And yet, I’m still the dutiful friend, attempting impartiality, probably out of guilt. “Don’t shoot the messenger, but you should hear Remy out. This smacks of his mother’s BS, and maybe he told you the truth, or tried to.”
She scowls. I mimic her. We share another laugh.
Her expression turns serious. “I’m glad you were home.”
“Makes one of us,” I joke.
“Screw you.”
“Is that a proposition?”
Her lips clamp together and her eyes dart anywhere but on me. “What are you doing here on a Saturday night? Since you’re a free man?”
“Packing.” My unbridled grin erupts again.
She claps her hands. “You got the place?”
I nod. “Wait until you see it. It’s fucking great. I’d take you out there now, but it’s too dark to see anything. Want to stay over and go in the morning?”
“Hell yes.”
We work straight through to midnight, talking and keeping it light. I’m stoked to show her my new digs tomorrow, but I’ve got to make it through tonight first.
Jax. Here. Overnight.
“You want to sleep in my bed?” I ask. “I can take the couch or—”
“I want to stay with you.”
We share a loaded look, and I try like fuck not to read too much into those words. How the hell am I going to manage this? Once her body’s wedged against mine in that small bed, I’m not sure I have the strength to resist. Maybe I can comfort her? That’s what she needs, asshole.
We crawl under the covers, and I switch on the radio, adjusting the volume down low.
I resettle next to her, my skin buzzing from her nearness, my heartbeat thudding erratically in my chest. She’s in my borrowed T-shirt with only that and her underwear separating us, and I’m struggling not to overthink.
Her leg brushes against mine and my insides somersault at the contact. To feel those legs wrapped around me…
“Come here,” I whisper, opening my arm in a clear invitation. I’m playing with fire but fuck it.
Jax rolls into my side, and I pull her in closer, kissing her forehead like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Because it is.
Her breath catches and the sound thunders through me. She’s just as affected as I am.
She raises her face toward mine, her lips only just visible in the dim light cast by my clock radio.
It’s not a question but an offering—and I don’t think twice.
I cup her face and press our mouths together.
When they meet, heat shoots through me from throat to groin, and I can barely breathe. It’s overwhelming. All consuming.
There’s never been a woman righter for me than her, and I’m rocked to the core by the irrefutable confirmation of it.
When I deepen the kiss, she whimpers into my mouth…and all restraint unhinges. I’m so fucking gone. I surrender completely—and take what’s fucking mine.
Gloriously losing myself in her, I hope I never find my way out.
“I’ve never stopped wanting you,” I murmur.
“I’ve never stopped loving you.”
Reverberations from my thrumming heart roll through me. She loves me. Still.
My gaze lands on hers tenderly. “And I’ve never loved anyone the way I do you. You are everything to me.”
Her eyes glass as she cups my jaw, the emotion twining tangibly between us.
Rolling her onto her back, I hover above her, staring near-dumbfounded at the face of this beautiful, precious treasure. Our lips meet again, sealing our sentiments.
The all-encompassing fervency to make love to her, merge our bodies together, express my deepest, most sacred, exposed feelings to her, eclipses any other thought.
“I want to feel you, all of you,” I murmur.
She nods, and we make quick work of getting naked.
Jacqui parts her legs, welcoming me, trusting me, giving herself to me.
My heart riots. Limbs vibrate. Blood hums. Slowly, I enter her, my breath shaky, my whole being rocked to the core as goosebumps flitter across my skin.
The second our centers fuse, it’s almost too intense.
A lone tear slides down her cheek, flaying me open.
Because the two of us understand what this is.
Two hearts meant for each other.
Two souls who belong.
Together we’re one.
Whole.
My eyes stay locked on hers as I drive into her with purpose. Honesty. All that I am.
I cherish you.
I love you.
I only want you.
My pace accelerates and I drive into her with pure need. Longing. Desire. Possession. Every thrust a claim and a confession.
I spill into her with a force that steals my air, meshing and grinding our flesh still closer as our moans and gasps filter around us. Our bodies shudder together, both of us clutching tightly like we don’t want to let go.
My heart soars, thunders, locking into place.
Complete.