Chapter 36
Kelly
When I get to Jake’s, the sun is already dropping below the horizon, and the porch light is on, a welcoming glow cutting through the darkening sky. I lean my bike against the side of the house and head for the door, before knocking.
A moment later, Jake opens the door, phone in hand. He’s wearing dark sweatpants and a woolen sweater, and looks as heartbreakingly gorgeous as ever.
“Hey, beautiful.” He leans down and kisses me on the mouth. “I’m just ordering dinner—any preferences?”
“Whatever you’re in the mood for is fine,” I reply, stepping in and hanging up my coat. I follow him down the hallway, pulling off my gloves and hat. “Hey, I had a visit from the mayor today. They’re predicting those winter storms could hit us hard in the next couple of days.”
“I had a missed call from Patrick earlier. This must be what it was about. Did she say how bad they’re expecting things to be?” He stops and steps closer, concern knitting his brow, the warmth of his body radiating toward me.
“There could be a lot of snow and damaging winds. She said we need to start planning for the worst in case it affects the festival.” I sigh. “I don’t know what I’ll do if it derails everything. I’ve put so much into this.”
Jake reaches for my hand, squeezing gently. “Hey, come here.” He tugs me toward him, wrapping his arms around me as he rests his chin on the top of my head. “We’ll get through this. You’re doing an amazing job.”
“Well it might all be for nothing.”
He pulls back just enough to look at me, his thumb brushing lightly over my hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll get the guys to help secure the installations tomorrow, maybe add some supports. We’ll do what we can to make sure everything stays intact.”
I nod, appreciating his willingness to jump into action, but his practical response lands a little flat. “That’s helpful, really. Thank you.”
He tilts his head, studying me. “I’ll make some calls first thing in the morning.”
I force a smile, squeezing his hand. “You’ll do whatever you can to help.”
But there’s a part of me that wants something else—a moment to just sit with the uncertainty, to be heard without immediately jumping into solutions. A hollow ache starts in the center of my chest, and I wonder if he’ll ever understand the pressure I’m under, not just from the festival, but this need to prove myself—prove I’m capable of handling everything. Of doing a good job.
He brushes a strand of hair from my face, a soft look in his eyes. “You don’t need to stress. We’ll get it sorted. You’re strong, Kel. You’re not someone who lets a bit of bad weather stop her.”
I nod, swallowing down the urge to say what’s really on my mind—that I just want to be understood. But how could anyone understand me ? Me, who tries so hard to be perfect but never quite makes the cut? So I don’t push it. I hate the idea of coming across as anything less than in control.
“Thanks,” I say softly, stepping back slightly to give myself some space.
He watches me for a beat, as if trying to read something in my expression. “Whatever you need, you just let me know.”
“Of course,” I say, even as my mind spins with doubts.
“Okay. You get comfortable. I won’t be long. I’ll just pour us a glass of wine and order dinner.”
I settle on the sofa, pulling out my planner to look at my to-do list for tomorrow. Adele walks into the living room while Jake is still in the kitchen, and my gaze immediately catches on her.
“Hi,” she says quietly, and there’s something off. Her eyes are red and puffy. She’s been crying.
“Hey, Adele. “Are you doing okay?”
She shrugs, her hands shoved deep into her hoodie pockets. “It’s just school stuff. Nothing major.”
But I know that look. It’s the same one I used to give when I was her age—trying to act as though everything was fine, especially in front of my mom. The urge to reassure her, to tell her it’s okay not to be okay, rises in me, and the irony almost makes me laugh.
Before I can say anything, Jake walks into the room. The second Adele sees him, her face closes off, a switch has been flipped. Her poker face is on, and she’s unreadable.
“All right, I ordered from that Thai place you like, Adele,” Jake says, glancing between us. He doesn’t seem to notice the tension lingering in the air, or maybe he’s just used to it by now.
“Thanks. Let me know when it’s here.” She puts her head down and retreats to her room.
I wish I could help her more, but I remember being a teenager, that pull to independence while simultaneously wanting to hold on to parts of your childhood. It was hard being a teenage girl even on good days. She probably doesn’t need her dad’s new girlfriend trying to push her to open up.
Jake lets out a quiet sigh. “The birthday high didn’t last long. Things aren’t great at school again. I wish I knew what to say to her.”
“Maybe she just needs to feel as though she’s enough,” I say, surprised by the weight of my own words. “Whatever is happening at school is making her doubt herself.” I glance down, a knot tangling in my chest as I think about what it would have meant to hear that as a teenager. That I was enough.
The thought stirs and pokes at the hollowness in my chest.
I understand what it’s like to pressure myself to be flawless, to try to control every outcome by sticking to rules and routines. Maybe a part of me needs to hear this just as much as she does. But I push the thought away quickly. This is different, I tell myself firmly. I’m different.
“But how do I do that?” Jake glances in the direction of Adele’s room.
“Maybe,” I say, choosing my words carefully, “she just needs you to be there with her, without pushing too hard. If she wants to sit in silence and be sad, maybe that’s what she needs. Just feeling seen, you know?”
He frowns, rubbing the back of his neck. “I am there with her, every day. I’ve always been there since she was a little kid.”
I understand his resistance. “Sure. But maybe just meeting her where she is, in those quiet moments, might help her open up. Sometimes that’s all a kid needs—letting her come to you on her terms without judgment. Without trying to change or fix anything.”
He lets out a long breath, rubbing his face with his hands. “I hear you, Kel, but I don’t know if I can just sit back and watch her struggle. She needs to know I’ve got her back. I’ll always fix things for her, and for you, too. You’re my girls.”
“And she’s lucky to have a dad who cares so much. I’m lucky to have you, too.”
“Jenny’s better at all this stuff than me. I think what Adele really needs is a sense of security. Me here, every day, doing what I do.”
I get the sense he’s not really hearing me, or maybe doesn’t want to, so I shrug and lean in, giving him a soft kiss. He pulls back, and the way he’s looking at me makes my heart stumble in my chest. Which makes it easier to stop thinking about all the other stuff.
The food arrives, and he calls Adele for dinner, and I distract myself by working out which dishes meet my food rules, and how much of each I can eat. Because right now, that’s pretty much all I can control.