Chapter 23
Three Months Later
My life is vastly different than it was when I was with Oliver. We just couldn’t make it because he didn’t want to try again. His heart was shredded by the loss of our son. Mine was too but instead of grieving together, he ran away. I’m trying to put the pieces of my life back together now.
Though I didn’t want his money, he bought me a two-bedroom apartment not far from his on Central Park West. It has lovely large windows that let the sun in during the day. We’re not divorced yet because I dragged my feet signing the papers. I stupidly thought there was a chance for us and maybe he would come to his senses but that didn’t happen.
I left Fox Asset Corporation the day we separated and haven’t found any work that interests me. My mother and Anders wanted me to come home to stay with them… I said no. I needed to stand on my own two feet. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have plenty of nights where I cried myself to sleep with only Trouble to comfort me.
I finally told everyone about the baby. They were shocked I would keep that inside, but it was better they didn’t know. I don’t want them to hate Oliver. Everything that happened in our lives was just too much to overcome. I should’ve known we wouldn’t make it. Losing him was worse than the other things I endured.
What made it ten times worse was that a few weeks ago I picked up the paper to see my soon to be ex-husband with his arm around none other than Lara Harvin. Apparently, they were attending a charity dinner together.
The nightmares got worse. I finally relented and started seeing a therapist, Dr. Snell. She was surprised I kept it together with all I’ve been through and in such a short span of time. Frankly, I’m not sure how I did it. My heart is starting to heal and maybe somewhere in my future I’ll marry again.
Today was a beautiful day with the sun shining and the sky a cloudless blue. I feel better than I should after I indulged in too much scotch the night before. I made the mistake of unpacking some of the boxes I had in my walk-in closet and found our wedding album. I sat on the floor, leaning against the wall while I paged through one of the happiest days of my life.
Scotch took the edge off and after two, I was drunk and fell into a dreamless sleep. Now I stood looking across the street at the greenery of the park, deciding what I wanted to do with my life, at least for today. I didn’t want to waste this gorgeous Saturday inside.
“Want to go for a walk?” I asked Trouble. He knew what I was talking about and started to run in circles around me. I bent down to grab him, scratching behind his ears. He was my lone companion and comforter when I spent many a night crying.
I went to the closet and seeing the box that held our wedding albums, kicked it hard. It slid across the dark wood floor and bounced against the far wall. That’s where it would stay for now until I had the strength to decide what to do with it.
It was a warm mid-June day, and I dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top. I was in good shape even with indulging in a little too much scotch now and again. I kept working with Brad and confided in him about my marriage. He understood because he was once married to a man who ended up cheating on him. But it all worked out in the end, and he was married again to the love of his life, Jurgen. He gave me hope.
I slipped on a pair of sneakers without socks and slipped on a backpack. Inside, I packed a couple of bottles of water, Trouble’s collapsible bowl, a few dog treats, a pink ball, and a towel. I grabbed the colorful dog leash from the hook near the door and snapped it on Trouble’s collar. I relished the heat as I stepped outside from the lobby, and we headed for the park.
“Get it, boy!” I called as I bounced the ball in the grass. Trouble chased it and grabbed it with his mouth then brought it back to me so I could throw it again. I did this a few more times until his tongue was hanging from his mouth. He needed a rest and some water. I found a relatively shady area to sit on the grass, laid out my towel and got his bowl out to give him some water.
When he was finished, I popped my earbuds in and wound Trouble’s leash around my hand so he wouldn’t chase after something. I felt relaxed and calm until Trouble started barking his head off, straining at the leash. My eyes fluttered open to see Oliver standing in front of me.
My heart skipped a beat. He was standing there wearing a pair running shorts and had his t-shirt hanging from the waistband. His sculpted chest and torso glistened with sweat. Oliver was as handsome as I remembered, and I hated him for it.
I wanted him to be miserable and look the part. He didn’t say a word to me as he knelt and scratched Trouble under the chin while trying to avoid his pink tongue from licking his face. I yanked out the earbuds.
"What do you want, Oliver?" I asked, my voice steady despite the nervous sweat coating my palms. I discreetly wiped them on my shorts, willing my heart to slow its frantic pace.
Oliver's eyes darted to Trouble, sitting next to me. "I just came by to say hello," he said, a hint of smugness in his tone. "Trouble doesn't seem to mind."
I clenched my jaw. "But I do," I hissed, my composure slipping. "You can't just come over here and act like everything is fine."
"Ryleigh, we should talk," Oliver said, his voice softening.
I laughed, the sound brittle and humorless. "Talk about what? There is nothing to talk about. You made that painfully clear."
Oliver leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I want to clear things up."
"Like what?" I snapped, anger rising in my chest. "I declined everything you offered except the apartment. You owed me that much after what you did." My voice broke slightly. "How could you, Oliver? Do you feel good about yourself?"
His shoulders slumped. "No, and I haven't for a long time."
I shook my head, fighting back tears. "It doesn't really matter. We'll be divorced in a matter of months." A bitter smile twisted my lips. "I'm surprised you didn't want a quickie divorce so you could move on with Lara. I saw the pictures of the benefit. I hope you two will be happy together."
"She's a friend and that's all," Oliver insisted, a hint of desperation in his voice.
"A friend who wants to get her hooks in you," I retorted. "I'm sure she's thrilled I'm out of the picture."
"Ryleigh, please." The words came out as a strangled cry, and for a moment, I almost felt sorry for him.
I steeled myself against the emotion in his voice. "Please, what? You should just leave me alone before I scream."
Oliver's eyes flashed with challenge. "Scream what?"
"Sexual harassment or just plain harassment," I threatened, my heart racing.
"Neither would be believed," he said, his tone maddeningly calm.
Fury coursed through me. "Why? Because you're the great Oliver Fox? If people only knew what an asshole you are."
Oliver ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in every movement. "I can't take anything back. It's out there."
"You ripped my heart to shreds and didn't think twice," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "You made a choice without my input."
"It was the wrong choice," Oliver admitted, his eyes meeting mine. "I've had time to think."
I felt my resolve hardening. "No. I can't be with you again. I can't go through more heartbreak when the next thing happens where you want to run away. Now leave me alone."
Oliver rose, defeat etched in every line of his body. He pulled his shirt from his waistband, using it to wipe his face and chest. Despite myself, my eyes were drawn to the movement, lingering on the healed bullet wound – a stark reminder of all we'd been through.
“I need you to forgive me,” he said softly.
I shook my head, exhaling loudly. “I can’t. I won’t ease your mind. You have to live with what you’ve done. I hope you’re happy.”
I met his tortured gaze. “I’m not. I’m miserable without you.”
I almost smiled at his statement, but I held it in.
“Too bad.”
I ignored him as I packed my bag, my hands shaking with anger. Oliver just stood there, watching me, his presence a heavy weight on my shoulders. When I started out of the park, he followed, his footsteps a constant reminder of the unresolved tension between us. I should have known better.
I heard the faint tapping of his phone, and when I reached the sidewalk just outside the park, Vlad was already there with the limo, the door open. I nodded at Vlad, momentarily taking my focus off Oliver. In that split second, Oliver grabbed me and shoved me inside the car.
“Oliver!” I gasped, startled and breathless. I had no time to react or alert anyone, and by the time I regained my composure, the door was closed with Oliver sitting next to me. Trouble barked but quickly stopped when Oliver scratched him behind the ears. Traitor, I thought bitterly.
"Let me out. I'll have you arrested for kidnapping," I demanded, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and fear.
"You can get out anytime you like," Oliver replied calmly, his eyes steady on mine.
“That’s not true,” I snapped as Vlad pulled out into traffic. "Take me to my apartment."
"I’d rather take you to my apartment," he said, his tone unyielding.
"For what purpose?" I asked, my arms crossing defensively over my chest.
"So you'll let me talk."
"We’re together now, so talk," I challenged, meeting his gaze with defiance.
"I love you," he said, his voice soft but firm.
The words hit me like a punch to the stomach. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I just stared at him, blinking in disbelief.
“Bullshit!” I burst out, my voice cracking with emotion. “Someone who loves another doesn’t do what you did. You abandoned me.”
Without thinking, I struck his cheek with my open hand. He didn’t flinch, just sat there, waiting for another blow, which I delivered. And another. I hit him several times until I burst into tears, my strength giving way to overwhelming sorrow. Oliver pulled me onto his lap, cradling me against his chest. I hated him. I loved him. I didn’t know what I wanted.
I pounded on his chest with my fists, and just as he had with my slaps, he let me. He let me get out all my frustration until I buried my head against his neck, sobbing.
“Oh, my poor sweet Ryleigh. I’ve ruined you,” he murmured, his voice filled with regret.
“You tore out my heart. I lost my husband and my best friend,” I cried into the firm muscles of his shoulder.
“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here. I can’t live this life without you.”
“Then why did you take so long to come to me?”
“I was afraid,” Oliver admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Afraid of what?” I demanded, my eyes narrowing as I glared at him.
“Rejection. I didn’t want you to say no,” he confessed, his gaze dropping to his hands.
“I already said no, but you won’t take no for an answer,” I snapped, my frustration boiling over.
“I love you, Ryleigh,” he said, his eyes meeting mine, filled with a desperate sincerity.
“Oliver, how is this going to work?” I asked, exasperated, my arms flailing in a gesture of helplessness.
“You’ll move back with me, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I promise,” he said, reaching for my hand.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I want children,” I stated firmly, pulling my hand away.
“I want them too,” he replied, his voice steady.
I lifted my head to look at him, searching his eyes. “You didn’t get the vasectomy?”
“No. It was selfish of me to even consider it. I want you to be mine and only mine,” he said, his voice filled with conviction.
I smiled weakly, the corners of my mouth trembling. “Possessive asshole,” I whispered.
“Does that mean you’ll come back to me? You’ll forgive me for what I’ve done?” he asked, his voice filled with hope.
“I’ll have to think about it. Can you let me off at my apartment?” I requested, my voice softening.
“What? No,” he replied, shaking his head.
“I need some space. I want to consider your proposal,” I said, my tone firm.
“What proposal? We’re already married,” he countered, confusion clouding his features.
“What you promised me. I can’t make a snap decision, and I’d like some time to think about it,” I explained, sliding off his lap and putting distance between us.
Oliver’s face fell, his eyes darkening with worry. “How long?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“A few days,” I said, my voice steady, though my heart was racing.
“That’s totally unacceptable. I need it sooner,” Oliver demanded, his voice tight with frustration.
I crossed my arms and met his gaze head-on. “We’re not negotiating a business deal, Oliver. This is our personal lives; it takes some thought.”
“Do you love me?” he asked, desperation creeping into his tone.
“Does it matter?” I countered, my voice wavering just slightly.
He forehead furrowed. “Of course it does. If you don’t love me, then I’ll have to change my game plan,” he said, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made my heart skip a beat.
“Your game plan?” I raised an eyebrow, curious despite myself.
“Begging, groveling, down on my knees,” he replied, a faint smirk playing on his lips.
“Just let me have some time. I’ll contact you,” I said, trying to sound more decisive than I felt.
Oliver sighed deeply and hit the button for the privacy window. “Vlad, please drop Mrs. Fox off at her apartment.”
“Miss Stewart,” I corrected, my tone icy.
“The hell you are. Our divorce is not final. You’re Mrs. Fox,” he shot back, his eyes blazing.
“Only if you can convince me,” I replied, a challenge in my voice.
“I’ll give it everything I’ve got,” he promised, leaning closer.
We pulled up to my apartment less than two minutes later since Vlad had been driving in circles. I reached for the door handle, but Oliver grabbed my arm, pulling me towards him and planting a hard kiss on my lips.
That familiar electricity surged through me at the touch of his mouth. I wasn’t over him, and I knew I never would be. He was my one and only, but he didn’t need to know that right away. I pulled away, giving him a dirty look.
“I couldn’t help myself,” he murmured, his breath hot against my lips.
I glanced down at his shorts, noticing they were slightly tented. “Jesus Christ, Oliver, it was only a kiss.”
“Forgive me. Next time we’re together, I’ll try to control myself,” he said, a playful glint in his eyes.
“I certainly hope so, because it could be a while,” I retorted, stepping out of the car with Trouble at my side.
As Vlad pulled away, I glanced back to see Oliver sticking his head out the window, gritting his teeth, his eyes following me until I disappeared into the building.