Holden #2
“No, I’m not the baby. If you consider that my twin brother was born a few minutes before me, that makes him the middle child, then me, then our brother Heath. Heath is four years younger than Hayden and me, though.”
She listens and nods attentively.
“Do you want to tell me more about your mom and dad?”
She looks slightly nervous again, as if she’s a student who didn’t do the assignment when the teacher calls on her.
“You go first. Tell me about yours.”
“Okay, well, I told you my dad died a few years ago, a few months before Hayden and I turned eighteen.”
A soft gasp escapes her, and her expression falls.
“I’m so sorry. That was insensitive of me to ask. We don’t have to talk about this.”
“No, it’s okay. I know it was only two years ago, but I like to talk about him.”
I take a long look at her, then swallow past the lump that has formed in my throat.
“It helps keep the memories of him at the top of my mind so I don’t forget anything about him.”
I glance up at her to make sure she’s doing okay hearing the story because, yeah, it’s fucking sad. She seems all right but remains quiet.
“My mom had a really hard time, understandably. We all did. I think we’ve all dealt with it in our own ways, but the brunt of everything fell on my two older brothers, Henry and Harrison.
Truthfully, if it weren’t for Harrison riding my ass, I never would’ve made it to college.
I wouldn’t have accepted my place here. I wouldn’t have applied for financial aid or the scholarship I’m here on.
He can be a grumpy pain in the ass, but he’s outstanding, though we screw with each other a lot, so I’d deny saying it if you ever told him.
Really, though, all my brothers are great. ”
“You’re lucky you have them.” She smiles sweetly, and her words are quiet, soft. “You got a good scholarship to come? I got a few small ones that are helping.”
“Yeah, I got a pretty significant one from the College of Engineering. Pays for almost everything.”
Her face pales, and her eyes widen for a split second, then return to normal. I swear she almost looks anxious. I decide not to call attention to her reaction and feel a need to rescue her from her discomfort.
“My mom was great. She did all the regular mom stuff, such as making sure we were fed, loved, and clean. Well, clean before bed, anyway, given we were always into something. But she also balanced the fact that she was raising five sons and didn’t coddle us to the point where we couldn’t live life and behave like rugged, wild little boys.
My parents owned a huge piece of property right outside the national park, so we’d go there and camp.
We’d fish, basically run free in the woods. ”
“I bet you were adorable,” she says with a smile. “I mean, look at you now; you had to be a cute kid.”
The way she says it surprises me. Maybe she thinks I’m attractive, which is good because I think she’s beautiful.
“Shoot, sorry I’ve been talking so much about me. Do you feel ready to share a little? It’s okay if not.”
I can almost see the wheels turning in her head before she speaks.
“Well, I already told you my dad left when I was fourteen.” She’s looking in my direction, but past me. “My mom didn’t do well with that. She depended very much on him and was extremely emotionally attached to him. So much so that she didn’t know who she was without him anymore.”
She quiets and focuses on her lap.
“She’s still not over it. Lindsay and I have to do a lot for her to keep the house running and stuff. She never learned before the divorce, and afterward, she didn’t have the energy. She gave him her heart... and he shattered it.”
She pauses and looks off to the side.
“I’m not sure she’ll ever fully recover.”
I’m trying to figure out how to respond to that when, after several long seconds, she glances over at me and asks, “Are you planning to go to the Oktoberfest next week?”
Well, I guess we’re all done talking about our families. It’s probably a good thing since I don’t want to upset her.
“Yes, for an hour or so. Are you?”
A sarcastic laugh escapes her. “Um, that would be a no.”
“Can I ask you something that might be none of my business, but I’m really kind of dying to know?” My heart pounds.
“Um, I guess. But is it something that’s gonna offend me or hurt my feelings?”
“No. I would never hurt your feelings on purpose,” I say with confidence. I reach for her hand and give it a light squeeze, but before I pull away, she wraps hers around mine. It confuses me, but I’m not about to end it.
“Your ex-boyfriend... is he... do you still have feelings for him?”
“Ew, no!” Her expression changes from serene to sour.
“Okay, good. I really—”
“Why would you even ask that?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s just that when you talked about him, there was something in your voice. I wondered if maybe you had lingering feelings.”
“No, absolutely not. That’s been definitively over for more than a year. He’s not my boyfriend, and neither is anyone else.”
That she’s single now pleases me, and I can’t help but grin.
“What are you so happy about? My lack of a love life?”
She pulls her hand from mine and playfully pushes me in the arm.
“Nice friend you are.”
I snatch her hand back and can’t stop smiling.
I wink at her.
“Sorry, not sorry.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t let go of my hand.