Chapter 28
I twisted in bed once, and when that didn’t work, I moved to the other side and closed my eyes. And when that, too, failed to be effective, I huffed and sat up.
I took a deep inhale of the cranberry candle that was burning on my nightstand, and hoped and prayed that its lovely aroma would help me sleep.
But nope, it didn’t.
It was so quiet outside, and if I looked through the window, I was sure I’d see nothing but snow and an empty, moonlit street.
I frowned and glanced at the digital clock on my bedside.
December 29th
3:23a.m.
I briefly thought about texting Myles, but he’d told me earlier that he was staying with his parents until the New Year, so I didn’t wanna disturb him, in case he’d gone to bed late or something.
I ran my fingers through my hair, and then, with a sigh, I got to my feet before walking out of my room.
As I padded over to the one that was a few feet away from mine, I fixed my grey, silk pajamas and shirt.
I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t sleep. I’d had a nice, relaxing day, and had even texted Myles back-and-forth every hour, up until 12a.m., when I’d told him good night.
Even the dinner was a yummy takeout feast with Av?, Ash, and Dave.
The latter two had come to visit us, so we’d turned that into a mini get-together by ordering pizzas and cheese rolls and ice creams. It’s a different story that Ash had tried to not-so-subtly coerce Av? into giving Myles an honest chance, and Av? had tried everything in his power to ignore her glaringly obvious suggestions.
And me as well, of course, for still dating Myles, but other than that, it was a fun night.
Dave had managed to form a bond with Av?, and the two even planned a fishing expedition for next month.
Like, wow.
I swallowed and stopped outside the door, then knocked on it twice.
I bounced on the balls of my feet as I waited for him to open up, but straightened when I heard rustling on the other side.
“It’s unlocked,” came Av?’s voice.
I slowly opened the door and stepped inside.
Av? was in bed, looking sleepy and concerned, and as I walked in further, his eyes searched my face.
“Qual o problema, pequena?” he asked. What’s wrong, little one?
Can’t sleep, I signed.
His shoulders relaxed at my response, and he threw aside his blanket before shifting a little to his left. “Hop on.”
I went without hesitation, and all but curled up against him when he opened his arms for me.
My throat tightened as I placed the side of my face on his chest, and when he ran a hand up and down my back, I lost it and began crying on his shirt.
God, I felt so safe like this – cocooned against him. I didn’t even care how I looked in that moment. All I knew was that I was okay and he was there for me.
“Carina…” Av? pressed a gentle kiss on my hairline. “What’s wrong, hon?”
I sniffed, and as I moved back to look at him, I saw how starkly visible his wrinkles and worry lines appeared under the silver light that reflected against the window’s glass and poured into his room.
I miss you, I signed, because it was the truth.
“I’m here,” he said, but I knew that he knew exactly what I meant.
It’s not fair to me, I signed, perhaps a bit more angrily than I’d like to.
Av? let go of a breath as he looked at me. “And how is it fair to me, Carina, when you won’t respect my wish?”
He can’t be serious.
Myles is amazing, Av?.
He raised a brow. “And you know that how, exactly? By sneaking out of the shop to go on dates with him? By going behind my back and spending time with him here, in this house, when I’m at the shop?”
If you already know I’ve been doing all of this, then why not fire him? Why is he still working on renovations if you aren’t happy with our relationship? You’re willingly letting us spend time together. Shouldn’t you be doing the opposite of that?
He bunched his jaw as he stared at me. “Because I know what you’re experiencing is simply a phase, one that will pass soon enough. I’m waiting for you to realize that by yourself and come to terms with it. Children need to learn certain lessons on their own.”
I’m not a child.
“But you sure have been acting like one recently.”
I fisted my hands. Why are you doing this? I signed. Why won’t you believe me when I tell you Myles is not like the others?
Av? shook his head a little. “I trust him enough to know that he won’t behave incorrectly with you, but that doesn’t mean I think he’s right for you.”
Oh, he’s got to be kidding me.
And you know what’s right for me?
“Of course I do.”
I roughly ran a hand under my nose. You don’t know anything, I signed, just as a tear slid down my left cheek.
Av?’s expression softened, and if I was right, I even saw a flash of regret on his features.
“Carina, come on–”
I put an index finger up to stop him.
You tell me you love me, and yet, you won’t trust my decisions.
You tell me you know what’s right for me, but how can you?
If only you’d spent a minute getting to know Myles instead of judging him so blindly, Av?, you’d know what I mean.
You’d understand why I’m so drawn to him.
But no, you’re too proud to be sitting on your high horse to spare a second on people who deserve so much more than a bit of your time and attention.
I got to my feet and walked out of his room before he could say anything else.
He’d said enough already.
I didn’t know what I was expecting from him, but it certainly wasn’t that. I’d thought that maybe now that he knows that Myles and I are still going strong, he’d come to understand that I’m not backing down, but I guess I was wrong; I’d hoped for too much from him.
I marched into my bedroom, shut the door, and went straight to my phone.
Me: I need you.
I swiped a few angry tears from my cheeks as I waited for him to respond.
Beauty: I’m here.
An involuntary sigh left me after I read those two words.
Me: Did I wake you?
Beauty: Doesn’t matter. You okay?
I swallowed as I wrote down everything that’d just happened, and hit send on the message. I then slumped on my bed and pulled my blanket over my legs.
Myles replied exactly 7 minutes later. I knew that because I was staring absentmindedly at my phone’s time while waiting for him to text back.
Beauty: Maybe he needs more time? Maybe I can talk to him.
Me: You won’t talk to him.
Beauty: Rina, come on, babe. He’s your grandfather, and you know I respect him.
Me: If you respect him so much, then why are you going against his will and dating me?
I regretted saying that immediately after the message went through. Shit.
My heart pounded faster at each passing second as I kept staring at the screen.
Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK.
I all but jumped out of my bed when my phone vibrated with an incoming video call. My hands shook a little as I accepted it, and held my breath as Myles’s face filled the screen.
I heard a click of a button, and then his bedside lamp turned on. His hair was an absolute mess, and one of the straps of his red tank top was sliding off his shoulder. But…but it’s the expression on his face that was the center of my focus.
God, he looked livid. And rightfully so. I had sent him a very stupid, stupid message, after all.
I was about to tell him that I was sorry, but he beat me to it by saying, “Just because you’re angry after the conversation you had with your grandfather, doesn’t mean you get to throw shade at me, Rina,” he said sharply.
Oops.
“You can’t say shit like that to me and expect me to take it like a fucking punching bag,” he continued, still very upset.
“I understand that you need an outlet for your emotions, but I am not going to let you throw me under the damn bus just because I’m calm about Mr. Ribeiro’s stubbornness and refuse to act against it.
Just because you’re angry, doesn’t mean I have to follow in on it.
I genuinely don’t care about what he thinks of me as a person, or why he’s convinced our relationship is a fluke, but by saying what you just did in that message, you’re only proving his point.
” He clenched his jaw. “And I am not going to let you push me away, or let what he told you tonight affect your belief in us. I’m not going anywhere, and what I feel for you isn’t weak enough to cower under the respect I have for your av?.
I may see him as a reverent figure, but even he can’t keep me from calling you mine.
” He lifted a brow at me, and I all but melted all over my duvet.
“Are my words clear enough for you, Rina?”
I nodded, because really, what else could I do? I was entranced by him, and so grateful for him for saying everything he had.
I’m sorry, I signed. I didn’t mean to upset you.
Myles shook his head and gave me a faint smile. “It’s okay. I just wanted you to know that I’m in this for a long haul, and nothing can keep me from you. Not even your emotionally charged texts.”
You acted quite dramatically.
He narrowed his grey eyes at me. “I so did not,” he countered.
Wanna bet?
“I’m not giving you money for calling me out like that.”
I chuckled, both in amusement, and in relief that we were okay.
Thank God.
You look crazy right now, I signed, and then pointed at my head to show him exactly what I meant.
Myles put his tongue to his cheek. “Wow, babe, thanks. It’s not like I’ve just woken up from a deep sleep or anything,” he said, but didn’t make a move to fix his hair.
I laughed, and then yawned behind a hand.
“Hey, we should do that cheesy movie thing where the couple keeps the call going while they go to sleep so that it appears as if they’re next to each other instead of miles away,” Myles suggested with a grin.
Cute – that’s what he was.
I nodded. Okay, I signed, and then smiled.
“Perfect. I’ve always wanted to do that.”
I shook my head at him. I’m not surprised, I signed.
He chuckled. “I’d be surprised if you were.”
We shared a laugh, and then quickly lied down in our beds. I pulled open my phone’s holder and set it next to me so that I could watch Myles, while he did the same on his end.
“Night, Rina,” he said, and then switched off his bedside lamp.
Good night, I signed, and then closed my eyes.
When I woke up around 4 hours later, the day had opened, and I could hear the blue jays chirping outside my window.
I glanced at my phone, and saw that the call was still going, and on the other side, Myles was asleep. He looked silly with his mused hair and slightly parted lips, but also perfect – in every way that mattered to me.
I was about to end the call, but stopped when he stirred, and then started mumbling something in his sleep.
I leaned in so that I could hear him better, but I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. He clearly hadn’t woken up, and every few seconds, he’d stir, mumble something incoherent, and then nuzzle his nose against his pillow.
I couldn’t stop watching him, and after a while, I realized I was laughing. It seemed that even in his slumber, Myles was capable of making me happy; of putting a too-wide smile on my face.
And if that little factoid wasn’t enough to let anyone know that he was a keeper, then I don’t know what was.