Chapter 40
“Chits, please,” Daniel said as he went around swinging the glass bowl up and down.
I watched as he collected chits from the others, and when he came to stand in front of me, he gave me an ‘Eh’ look before raising a brow.
“Chits,” he all but spat the word.
I tried not to laugh as I put mine in. “You can’t possibly still be salty with me,” I told him, then flashed my teeth at him. “You know you don’t want to.”
He gave me a once-over. “Are you flirting with me?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Depends.”
“On?”
“On whether or not it’s doing something to your Hulk-like ego,” I quipped.
Rina snickered from next to me, and Daniel scowled before giving her a glare.
“Chits, boss,” he said to her.
When she excitedly placed both her chits into the bowl, Daniel walked away from us with an air of defiance in his steps.
Rina grinned as she looked up at me with glimmering eyes, to which I chuckled and nudged her hip with mine.
My mind was still in a buzz from that epic fucking head she’d given me. It was so unexpected, yet so damn hot that it’d left me speechless for minutes after.
Daniel had suggested that instead of doing the usual date and gifts shebang on Valentine’s Day, the whole squad should gather with their respective partners at Rina’s house to play a game of Dare.
No truths, only dares. And not just any dares, either, but ones that had to be at least slightly inappropriate, and also ‘up to the par of humorous’, according to Daniel.
He’d made each of us write two separate dares, and as I fully came to terms with what was about to happen, I realized that I hadn’t been thinking straight when I’d agreed to this shit.
Me and the crew were off work for the day, obviously.
Just like I’d promised Miguel, I’d invested in installing a couple small bookshelves in the storeroom myself, and me and the crew were in the process of merging the faulty bookshelf with the spare ones we’d ordered in January from that shitty company.
We had loads of materials from those shelves anyway, so we’d decided to put it all together and see if it worked.
But we’d hardly started on that bit, though, so there was still stuff to be done before the library was complete.
I sighed and looked around at everyone who was gathered.
Cruz and Daniel were here with their wives; Taron and Tori were also present.
Ash and Dave had come together, and because both Remi and Simran were single, they’d decided to come as a pair.
Paul and Greg – those bastards – had declined coming to the mad-fest, and had instead taken their dates on a damn picnic.
A sweet, regular, Valentine’s Day picnic.
I was starting to think they’d done the right thing.
I didn’t know what level of dares I was supposed to expect from the others. Even from Rina, because when I’d asked her to let me read hers, she’d turned her back to me like those kids do in school in order to hide their test sheets.
Oh well.
The one’s that I’d picked, though, were simple – because, you know, I’m a good person and all.
1) Eat 12 hot peppers and recite your filthiest sexual fantasy in complete detail, without taking a water or milk break.
2) Try to capture a burp or a fart in a mason jar and make your partner smell it.
See? Simple and completely doable.
Told ya I’m a nice person…
Even though business at Vila do Acaí was crazy on V-day, Rina had somehow convinced Miguel to keep the shop closed, and Daniel, our Saint and savior, had booked a VIP golf session for Miguel and his friends at The Beverly Country Club to keep him out of the house so that he could murder us all in this cult gathering that he’d organized.
I didn’t trust those sparkling blue eyes of his, but Rina was excited, so I had no other choice but to do Daniel’s bidding.
“People!” he called out to us. “Let’s all sit down in a circle, because the dares are in.
It is game time!” He opened a kitchen cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Ardbeg from inside it.
When he turned and our eyes met, he shrugged and said, “Just in case, y’know?
If the dares get intense and someone needs liquid courage. ”
“It’s 10a.m., Daniel.”
He shrugged again, but slowly this time. “Your point?”
I rolled my eyes and followed Rina into the living room.
As I sat next to her on the floor, with Taron on my left, Daniel strutted over to the cult circle and sat opposite me. Brianna, his wife, was on his left, and Cruz was to his right, with his wife, Valeria next to him.
It’d been a genuine pleasure getting acquainted with them, as they were really good people to talk to and share a laugh with.
So were Ash and Dave, honestly, but I guess the former was a bit more eagle-eyed towards me at first, clearly because it was her job as Rina’s best friend to judge my very existence until she was happy with everything she saw and heard.
I didn’t blame her.
Daniel cleared his throat, placed the chit-filled bowl in the center, and set the bottle of scotch in front of him before saying, “Are you guys ready?”
We all murmured our yeses.
“Great.” He slapped his thigh once. “Oh, and if you end up getting your own dare by accident, you get to pick another one. No one is supposed to perform their own dare. We’re not here to watch you fulfill your fetishes, so please, for the love of baby Jesus, spare us.”
I laughed and looked at Rina. When she smiled at me, I bent and gave her a quick kiss.
“Okay, everyone, so who wants to pick the first chit?” Daniel asked.
Simran crawled forward and grabbed one before anyone could say anything, and then after having read it, she simply turned to Remi and said, “Lift your armpits.”
The poor guy paled. “What?!”
“Wait, wait,” Daniel cut in. “That’s not how it works! You have to read the dare out loud before performing it.”
Simran rolled her eyes. “Smell someone’s armpits for 10 seconds,” she read casually.
“Oh God.” Daniel ran a hand over his face, then looked at Cruz.
“It was you, wasn’t it? You’re the one who wrote that?
” When Cruz didn’t respond, and instead chose to keep his eyes on the floor, Daniel lifted his arms in defeat.
“I said R-rated or humorous dares, you pile of meat! Armpits are neither of those things! They’re gross and Satan’s curse to humanity!
” He waved a hand at Simran. “But whatever, do the dare so that we can move on.”
He just had to mention Satan to solidify my suspicions about this being a cult gathering, didn’t he?
May the Almighty save my soul.
Remi reluctantly raised his arms, and Simran spent 10 seconds smelling each of his pits.
Rina shifted, and our knees bumped. When I glanced at her, I saw her looking at Remi and Simran with a horrified expression on her face.
“Changed your mind yet?” I asked.
She scrunched up her nose, but shook her head, making me chuckle.
“Your loss,” I quipped.
“Shh!” Daniel chastised. “Okay, good job, Sim. Who’s next?”
Remi picked up a chit. “Make out with someone of the same sex as you.” He looked around, then pointed ahead. “Dave, you in?”
Dave nodded, and Ash smirked. She sat back and watched gleefully as Remi and Dave put Massimo Torricelli to shame with the way they kissed each other.
“Whoa…” Daniel opened the bottle of scotch and took a huge gulp from it. “Okay, so that just happened.” He drank some more.
Brianna punched him in the side, to which he chuckled and kissed her.
Rina got on all fours and took the bottle from Daniel, then downed a small amount of it before giving it back to him.
Ohkay…
Dave was next in line for the dare, and when he got one where he had to make his partner come in under 30 seconds, Ash didn’t waste time in stripping down to her underwear.
The two of them headed into the guest bathroom, and within 20 seconds, we heard Ash’s moans filtering out and reverberating through the otherwise silent room.
I swear this was getting crazier by the second.
The pair walked out soon after, and Ash, thankfully, put her clothes back on.
Rina looked so flabbergasted that I wanted to laugh, but had to control the urge by clearing my throat instead.
The game went on, with each dare more questionable than the other, until Taron reached forward and grabbed a chit. “Leave an R-rated voicemail for an ex.”
I couldn’t hold it in, then; I laughed. Full body-shaking, teary-eyed laughter that went on for quite some time, until Rina finally placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me.
Everyone was looking at me like I’d popped a brain cell, and maybe I had, but I didn’t care about that.
Taron glared at me. “What’s so funny?”
Tori pressed her lips together as she looked up at him. “Babe, I’m the only girlfriend you’ve ever had,” she said with a frown.
I laughed again, and this time, everyone else joined in.
Taron appeared flustered as he faced Daniel. “What do I do?”
“Put this one back and pick another, silly,” he said matter-of-factly.
Taron did just that, then balked at the new chit in his hands. “Pinch your partner’s nipples while reciting the nursery rhyme, A Sailor Went to Sea.” He glanced around. “What the fuck?!”
Cruz’s wife, Valeria, shifted as she tried to hide a smirk behind a fist.
Taron threw the chit in with the other used ones, looked at his wife, and said, “You wanna do this?”
She nodded excitedly. “Yup!”
Oh, Christ.
Is this seriously what my life has become? I have to watch my elder brother pinch my sister-in-law’s nips while reciting a kiddie rhyme? For real?!
I averted my gaze as Taron completed the dare, and when Tori pulled a chit out, it was even worse than her husband’s.
“Dry-hump your partner until they come,” she read.
I wasn’t even surprised at the intensity of the dare, so when Tori got into position and began going at it with Taron right there and then, I only sighed and ran my hands over my face.
This was the most ridiculous V-day of my life so far, and yet somehow, I was starting to find humor in it.
I’m crazy, I know.
After listening to 27.6 seconds of Taron panting and huffing, and then finally coming, the group cheered the pair on for pulling off a dare so risqué with a crowd in attendance.
Yay to the Valentine’s spirit, I guess.
Taron went off to clean up, and when he came back, Rina jumped forward and grabbed a chit.
Sweet mother of bountiful heaven.
She read the chit, then handed it to me with a grin so maniacal, that it made a chill run down my slightly perspired spine.
I shakily – yes, I was shaking in complete dread – took the chit from her and read it out loud. “Bite your partner’s ass.”
I whipped my head at Rina. “No.”
She grinned wider. Yes, she signed.
“Baby, no.” I swallowed. “Pretty please?”
She shifted a little and clapped her hands. Yes, she signed again.
I started wracking my brain for a way out of the…situation, but then, to my utter, unfortunate dismay, my darling of a girlfriend started unbuckling my belt.
“Yasssss, gurl! GET!” Daniel chanted.
I sent a brief glare his way, then looked at Rina again. “Babe?”
Her eyes met mine.
“You don’t want everyone to see what’s yours, do you?” I said/tried to convince her out of going all cannibal on my ass. “I mean, I didn’t take you for someone who’d want to share my…stuff.” Yeah, I wasn’t being very convincing about this.
Rina gave me a ‘Really?’ look, then tugged hard on my belt.
“Fine, fine.” I got to my feet and unzipped my jeans. “Christ, woman; patience.” I stood and faced the group so that they couldn’t see my trembling cheeks, then pushed my jeans down to my knees and bent my upper body forward.
Daniel smirked at me, and I knew this was his dare without even having to ask him about it.
Rina stood and came behind me, and this time when she went on her knees, I knew she’d serve me pain instead of pleasure.
I looked at her from over a shoulder. “If you make me bleed, there’ll be consequences,” I told her.
She laughed, pushed aside my underwear, and leaned in.
And then…
Then there was only pain.
Agony.
Torment.
Affliction.
PAIN.
So. Much. Fucking. Pain.
I yelped and practically jumped off the ground when Rina’s teeth pressed onto my right ass cheek. That creature bit down on me with sheer force – one that all but blinded me as a sharp sting coursed through my damn ass, all the way down to my toes.
“Fucking HELL!” I screamed as I stumbled away from Rina and put my jeans back on. “You…you Goddamn piranha!”
She was laughing so hard she was tearing up. Even her face was flushed from the amusement she’d gotten from seeing me so out of it.
I heard more laughter, so I turned around, and found all ten idiots who were sitting in the circle, cackling at my behest. Simran was among them, and that says a lot, because she never laughs.
Great. Fucking fantastic.
I took what was left of my dignity, and sat back down. But as soon as my ass hit the floor, a new wave of pain shot through me, making me hiss.
Taron cleared his throat. “It’s called karma, brother,” he whispered to me, his expression smug.
“Fuck you so very much, brother,” I whispered back, resulting in him to chuckle.
Rina slid over to me and sat down to my right, and when I glanced at her, she sent an air kiss my way.
My lips twitched. It was hard to stay mad at her, however occasionally undomesticated she might be.
“Pick a chit, Myles,” came Ash’s voice.
I nodded at her, then sent a prayer before reluctantly grabbing a chit from the bowl.
As soon as I read it, though, I realized that my plea to the Lord above had gone in vain, because the dare…it was…
“Have someone wax your armpits,” I read out loud, and all but died on the inside because…
WHAT. THE. FUCK.