Epilogue Infinity
I can walk, Myles, Rina signed, then huffed and wrapped her arms around my neck when I lifted her in my arms and kicked my van’s passenger-side door shut.
“I know you can,” I told her, “but I still wanna hold you and keep you swept off your feet in a literal way. You got a problem with that?”
She rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. Where are we going? she asked.
I grinned at her. “You’ll see.” I don’t know why I was being so cool about this. If anything, I should be freaking the ever-loving fuck out. Pissing my pants and breaking into a sweat, even. But I was calm; I was okay.
What the fuck was wrong with me? Where the hell was my sense of normalcy?
But then again, everyone – including Rina – say I’m from another planet entirely, and maybe they’re right, because any normal human being would be losing their shit if they were in a situation similar to mine.
But me? I was cool as a damn polar bear’s ass in the frigid Antarctic.
Rina and I’d woken up early, so we’d decided to go on our daily walk a bit prior to our usual time. But, instead of taking her to the usual park we went to every day, I drove us to Millennium Park, because I had something that I needed to do, and I simply couldn’t do it without her.
Rina had been given the all-clear by her doctors almost a month ago. Her recovery process had been a slow one, but it’d also been hassle-free, thanks to physical therapy and our regular walks. And, of course, her medications.
The warm morning light hit the grass I was walking on, highlighting the path ahead of me.
I turned left, and then entered the gorgeous Lurie Garden, and Rina sucked in a breath as she looked around the massive expanse.
I took the first walkway, exactly as I’d planned, and glanced at the gold-and-black butterflies when they drifted past Rina and I.
It’s beautiful, she signed, her eyes wide.
“You’ve never been in here?” I asked her.
She shook her head.
I smiled. “Well, I like this place. The bugs are an inconvenience, sure, but it’s a little price we’ve gotta pay to witness this.” I jerked my head to the right, at the lovely monkshoods flowing with the crisp breezes.
Rina pressed a kiss to the side of my head. Thank you for bringing me here, she signed.
I winked. “No worries, babe.” I spotted the small wooden chair seconds before she did, and when she raised her brows at me, I shrugged casually before leading us to it.
Thank Christ Daniel had placed it exactly where I’d asked him to.
I stopped in front of the chair, helped Rina settle in it, and, before she could ask why I’d done that, I went on one knee in front of her.
She gasped, and a strong gush of wind whipped past us, resulting in the pretty queen-of-the-prairies around us to rustle wildly.
Rina’s hair all but concealed the wild expression on her face as it moved with the wind, but she quickly pushed it behind her ears and blinked at me.
I’d thought Miguel would stake me in the heart when I’d asked – no, told – him about wanting to marry Rina, but he’d surprised me by not only giving me his permission, but also a too-long, slightly awkward and suffocating, fatherly hug.
A HUG.
“You’ve saved my Carina,” he’d told me. “From the past, from the thoughts in her head, and from the pain. I misjudged you, treated you unkindly, but you continued to prove me wrong; continued to show up for her. And that, Myles, is more than enough for me.”
I’d paid him a quick visit a couple of days before Rina had gotten the all-clear, which meant that I was sitting on my question for too damn long.
Not anymore, though.
“I get that it’s too soon,” I said to Rina, then swallowed, “but trust me when I say that I know I want this, Rina.” I rose a little so that I could be closer to her.
“You can say no; you can ask me to wait longer. I’ll do it – I swear I will.
But I want you to know that I’m down to do this shit.
I’m fucking ready.” I touched my forehead to hers.
“Because no one has ever made me feel what you do, and I know for a fact that no one else ever will. Baby…” Our eyes met, and my heart began thrashing in my chest. “You make me feel alive; you make me feel like I’m worth something.
When I’m with you, I can be crazy, fucking insane, and you still love me.
You lift me up and make me wanna soar. You see me, Rina, and you understand.
For someone like me, that’s everything.” The stone walkway pressed against my knee as I shifted, and when Rina let go of a long breath before searching my face, I brought my right hand to the side of my head, then slashed it forward to say: Will.
I then pointed at her, and clasped my hands together to say: you marry.
And finally, I pointed at myself to say: me.
It was then that I realized that my hands were shaking.
Good, at least I was capable of being nervous in the heat of the moment. At least I wasn’t a damn alien from outer space or something.
I know my signing technique isn’t the best, but I also know that Rina understood me perfectly fine.
She grabbed the chair’s armrests, and then slowly got to her feet. When I opened my mouth to protest, she brought her left hand forward, palm down, and wiggled her fingers at me before giving me a grin.
I stood, feeling a little giddy, and grinned back at her. “Yeah?” I asked like the fucking idiot I was.
She chuckled. Yes, she signed. Yes, I will marry you. There never was a question about it.
“Thank fuck,” I all but exhaled the words, and with still trembling hands, I pulled the teal box out of my joggers before flicking it open.
Rina sucked in a surprised breath, then looked at me with the kind of softness that I was so used to, and one I’ve always craved more and more of.
I pulled the pavé-style ring out of the box, then shoved the latter back into my pocket. I swallowed, took Rina’s left hand in mine, and when she smiled at me, I smiled right back before slipping the ring onto her ring finger.
She lifted her hand to the sun, resulting in the diamonds to glint off her golden skin, and even leave prismatic reflections on her face when she turned her wrist this way and that.
Beautiful, she signed, then flung her arms around my neck before pressing her lips to mine.
“I’m so glad you like it,” I said, and held her waist between my hands before pulling her to me. “Fiancée.”
She blushed a little at that, and my God, she legit took my breath away with how stunning she was.
“You’re my sanctum, Rina. You know that, right?” I told her.
She nodded. And you are my reason to start anew, she signed, then searched my face. I may not have words to give you, but I have all of me and my heart to offer you. I love you, Myles, and I swear I will never stop.
It took me a long beat to understand what she’d said, but when I did, I felt my eyes sting, and my breaths turned heavy.
“You are everything I want,” I said to her. “I don’t need your words to know what you’re feeling, when I can see you just as clearly as you can see me. And that, baby, is all I’ll ever need. I love you so much.” I leaned in and kissed her, and she held onto me tighter as she kissed me back.
This is my life – my slightly bumpy, absolutely amazing in every way that’s important, life.
And yeah, I did act like a complete coward towards the very beginning, but I’m so fucking glad I bounced back from it before it was too late.
Rina held hope for me, made sure there was enough light at the end of the tunnel for her and I.
For an us. I was, and always will be, mad for her, and ever since I’ve realized that she’s my it, I haven’t stopped fighting for us.
She makes me stronger, more defiant in ways that matter.
I don’t spend time thinking about the various other ways in which my life could have moved forward had Miguel not asked me to renovate his kitchen and design the library, because really, it’s not the kinda thought I like to entertain.
I’m happy – so fucking happy – with my insanely incredible woman, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.
She was, after all, my everything; my forever.
My infinity.
THE END.