14. Myer
M yer~
I almost started laughing, but I knew that Calista would probably gut me if I did. She looked annoyed as hell, and if her sour disposition had anything to do with Jury Patton standing in her driveway, then I didn’t blame her.
Now, while I’d seen Calista in passing all week, I hadn’t been able to do anything more than just a wave here and there.
With Zachary and Whitney finally announcing their engagement to the world, it’d been a busy week with the family, and I’d never seen my brother trying so hard at something, and when you considered that he’d been a career military man, that was saying something.
At any rate, while Zachary’s decision to quit signing up for deployments had been an easy one, it was still a huge change to his lifestyle, and so he called me every day to talk it through, which I didn’t mind.
These were huge changes for him, and they were coming at him quickly, something that could overwhelm anyone.
Nevertheless, he was happy, and I was happy for him.
So, the plan had been to catch up on some more yardwork this morning, but when I’d seen Jury Patton standing in Calista’s driveway, finding out what the hell he was doing over there had quickly taken precedence over the damn yard.
Now, while I had no idea why he was at her house, his reasons for being there would never be good enough for me to allow it.
Looking at Calista, I said, “Sorry, I got caught up with something.”
Her hazel eyes narrowed a bit, but instead of directing her wrath my way, she got pretty honest rather quickly.
“Mr. Patton came over here to offer me his help with removing the hornets’ nest forming on my garage.
When I declined his help, he decided to stick around and let me know all the reasons why you’re a shit boyfriend to not do this for me.
” I opened my mouth to defend myself, but Calista just kept right on talking.
“Then, when I went on to explain how I can do it myself, he decided to lecture me on my place in this world as a woman.”
“Now, Calista, that isn’t entirely true,” Jury said, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“That’s when I told him how I think that his prayer group is a sex cult in disguise, and that led into a lecture about you being a shit boyfriend again for keeping me from my true spiritual destiny, and how you’re stifling my spiritual journey.”
“Is that so?” I asked, doing my best to keep my tone civil.
“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “Then we moved on to gluttony, and I’m pretty sure we were just about to hit the other six deadly sins when you walked up.”
“Okay, well...first thing’s first,” I told her. “I will handle the hornets’ nest, no matter how very capable you are of taking care of it yourself, and no matter how much I appreciate the safety wear that you’re rocking right now.”
“Are you seriously making fun of my outfit?” she asked, and I wasn’t entirely too sure that I wasn’t, so I ignored her question.
Looking over at Jury, I got straight to the point. “Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I’m only going to say this once, so I need you to hear me clearly. Stay the fuck away from me, and that goes double for my girl. If she needs help with anything, that’s what she has me for.”
“Insecurity doesn’t look good on a man, Myer,” Jury replied, and I almost punched him in the face. While violence wasn’t always the answer, some people just deserved it, and Jury Patton was one of those people.
“I’m not insecure,” I assured him. “Insecurity implies that you have the ability to take what’s mine, and you don’t.
This is also not a case of jealousy, as I have nothing to be jealous about since Calista is as honest and as faithful as they come.
” I stepped to the man, enjoying how I was a few inches taller than him, though petty as it might seem.
“This is about you being unwelcomed. This is about you being a predator and us being smart enough to recognize it. This is about how I will kick your fucking ass if you ever cross the street in this direction again.”
Jury’s head leaned back a bit. “Resorting to violence? Surely, you have the ability to recognize that violence is not God’s way.”
“Oh, really?” I drawled out, noticing how he’d chosen to ignore everything else.
“Because if you’re reading The Bible, there’s a shitload of violence in it.
I mean, that whole Sodom and Gomorrah scene was rather brutal if you ask me.
” I stepped to him a little closer. “In fact, the more that you talk, the more that I wonder if you’ve ever really read The Bible.
Honestly, seems like you need to take a refresher course or something to me. ”
“You mock me,” he accused, which he wasn’t necessarily wrong. “You mock me, and you mock that which you do not understand.”
“Oh, I understand you just fine,” I told him. “But that is neither here nor there, Patton. I just want to make sure that you understand what will happen if you ever bother Calista again.”
Bristling a bit, he said, “There’s no need for threats of violence, Myer. I have no problem leaving Calista alone until she sees the light for herself.”
“Which will be never, so you can be on your way now,” I said, going to stand directly in front of Calista.
“Very well,” he replied primly. “A good day to you both.”
Neither of us said anything as we watched Jury make his way back across the street and to Louise’s house, and if it wasn’t enough that he was a douchebag, he drove a car that announced it to the world. I mean, talk about a man that was trying to overcompensate for something.
When Jury was finally back inside Louise’s house, I turned to look at Calista in all her hornet fighting gear, and I really just couldn’t help myself at this point. “Do you want to go to dinner with me tonight?”
Her hazel gaze regarded me suspiciously. “Why?”
That threw me for a bit of a loop. “Uhm, why not?”
“Are you asking me out because you want to take me on a date or are you asking me out because you feel bad about being a shitty fake boyfriend?” she asked, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“I mean, I was about to take down this hornets’ nest all by myself because you couldn’t anticipate my needs beforehand, making you a regrettable choice for a fake boyfriend. ”
“First of all, there’s no electric fence surrounding my property, so you could have easily walked over, knocked on the door, then asked me kindly if I could remove the hornets’ nest on your garage,” I informed her.
“Secondly, I’m a great fake boyfriend. I think that I’ve proven it enough time since we started fake dating. ”
“That’s debatable,” she harrumphed.
“Thirdly, I don’t ask women to dinner unless it’s because I want to take them to dinner,” I clarified. “I mean, I’m almost forty.”
“So, you’re asking me out on a real date?” she asked, her voice still full of suspicion. “One where you might possibly kiss me at the end of the night?”
While the answer to both those questions was yes, I wasn’t sure if it was the right answer.
Calista was still looking at me like she wasn’t buying my motives, and I didn’t know what to make of that.
From her immediate suspicion, it was quite possible that I might be up against a recently broken heart, and if I was, then I was going to have to rethink my strategy.
Though I was very much interested in Calista, I was not looking to be a rebound while she mended a broken heart.
“Have you never been asked on a date before?” I asked, eyeing her back. “You act like I’m trying to steal your virtue before properly asking for your hand in marriage.”
The woman planted her hands on her hips. “You know, being a dick isn’t the best way to go about getting me to say yes.”
That got my lips twitching. “Calista, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?”
“If you are asking me out on a date, then the answer is yes,” she replied. “But if we’re going as just friends, then that’s too much effort for something that by definition is casual. If we’re going to be just friends, then we can order a pizza and eat in.”
Her candor was a combination of refreshing and hilarious. “It’s a real date, and I’m probably going to kiss you at the end of the night.”
She threw her finger up in the air. “Only if the date goes well. As we’re going to be getting to know one another, it’s quite possible that you might throw out a dealbreaker.”
“Wow, your faith in me is truly inspiring,” I drawled out.
“I can always say no,” she threatened, and that was something that I definitely did not want.
“Fine,” I conceded. “Only if the date goes well will I kiss you at the end of the evening.”
“Deal,” she said, and I wanted to laugh at how she didn’t seem thrilled in the least.
“I’ll pick you up at...?”
“Five,” she replied. “By the time that we get to wherever you’re taking me, get seated, and all that jazz, it’ll be close to six, and that’s perfect timing.”
Yeah, her candor was very refreshing.