35
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There could be something said about returning home after living through a battle.
It was strange, because the whole journey back to Choilltean, I was expecting it to have changed.
I was expecting the sky — where it was visible sparingly through the canopy — to be darker, somehow.
That the fireflies would no longer flicker golden light.
That the greenery would have shrivelled up and turned to some sort of dying, decaying thing that was brown or grey and smelled like rot.
But it hadn’t. Choilltean was exactly how we left it, as if the horrors that had occurred over the last few days were incapable of contaminating the world.
The leaves were as emerald as ever, the sun as persistent as it had been in the short time I had been there.
Creatures floated across the kingdom whether with wings or hooves or paws, as if nothing had happened.
Life endured, as life always endured, and for anyone outside of the battle, it was as if it never happened.
Urram was just an African Grey on my shoulder once more, preening at some of his scorched feathers against his neck as we crossed the threshold into the kingdom.
I hadn’t seen any of my friends since they were either stabbed or otherwise occupied.
The last time I saw Raegan was as I bellowed at him from atop Urram.
The last time I saw Niamh was when she had been impaled on that blade.
Killian was last seen beheading Uamhas as if it was something that he just did.
And I hadn’t seen Shea the entire time, to be honest.
So as the army began to separate at the border of the village and I finally saw a familiar face, my knees buckled. Killian sprinted towards me, his face splattered with blood and his hair as wild as ever, while he noticeably lacked his normal glow and childish energy.
I collapsed against him as he collided with me, two strong arms wrapping around my body and hoisting me upright as I fought the tears and the exhaustion and the… the defeat that I felt deep within me.
“Oh, Olivia,” he sighed as he pulled away from me.
I looked up at him and the moment our eyes met, everything melted away.
Placing one hand around my waist and the other at the back of my neck, Killian kissed me. His lips, surprisingly soft and warm, brushed against mine first as if in gentle ask. When I met them with as much intensity and desperation as I could muster, he met me tenfold.
If the quiet before the battle was the last breath before the plunge, this was the revived one upon breaching the water surface once more. This was living and dying and drowning all in one simple motion.
He continued to kiss me, as if we weren’t in the center of the road with thousands of pixies flooding in and out of view, as if the world didn’t feel like it had ended yesterday but that it had somehow been reborn and we were at the center of it.
When we finally parted, dishevelled and panting, it was hard to believe that the body depended on oxygen and not his kiss.
“I-I’m sorry. I just… I just–”
“It’s okay,” I muttered.
“This is… This is me being calm,” he growled, his whole body vibrating as he kept his nose buried in my neck, continuously taking deep breaths as his spine rattled. “I told you what would happen, and you had to go and get yourself into trouble again, didn’t you?”
“Are you saying you were worried about me, Killian?” I mocked, grinning as I felt him stiffen against me. Before he could respond, his whole body wrapped around me again, his arms tightening around my waist, a guttural growl falling from the back of his throat.
“Don’t tempt me, Olivia,” he warned, his voice gravelly. A thrilling type of shudder took my body by storm as he pressed impossibly closer. “Don’t tempt me.”
It was some sort of high rushing through my veins that dared me to do exactly that. “Tempt you to do what?” I laughed nervously. “Are you going to cut me open and crawl into my body?”
His hands tightened where he had them possessively on my hips, his face still deep in the curve of my neck where his breath skimmed my skin and set me alight.
“I won’t be crawling into you, no.” It wasn’t a threat but a promise as he fought to level his breathing.
Obviously this wasn’t a laughing matter as his lips moved and skimmed the shell of my ear while he whispered, “I’m doing everything I can to not claim you here and now. ”
Why did that sound like such a good idea?
Maybe it was just the adrenaline of surviving a battle, but I erupted at his admission, my being aching and throbbing.
Of its own will, my body lifted and arced, destroying any lingering distance between us.
The move, possessive and promising just as his voice and words were, made him let out another grunt that shook my bones.
“I know what you mean,” I admitted. “I didn’t know if you were dead or alive and… And now that I see you, I can’t explain it.”
He nodded, the stubble of his face scratching at my skin and sending a flutter of adrenaline across me. That was only worsened when I melted into his body and felt his growing arousal against me.
I was telling the truth, too. I did know, for I had felt that very same fear in not knowing if he was dead or alive, in not knowing if our last conversation had already been had or our last stolen glance had already come to pass.
The illusion of us being alone in a big, scary world shattered around us right as a horse and wagon nearly knocked us off the road.
He grabbed onto my arm and pulled me to the side, removing the threat of charging soldiers altogether.
That was when we saw Shea. I was surprised to see him capable of releasing me, but he did and the look on his face suggested just how much strength that took.
Killian met his friend in a tight hug, each of them holding on for a second longer than needed before they pushed away, chaos in their eyes and tight smiles on their faces.
“Glad to see you alive,” Shea said. Which if anyone knew Shea, they knew that meant I’m so glad you’re alive and I love you.
“More or less,” Killian said. Which if anyone knew Killian, they knew that meant I’m glad you’re alive and I love you too.
Next was Niamh, stumbling into the roadway with disorientation holding her features hostage.
“Niamh!” I screamed, far louder than needed but somehow not loud enough. But she turned, her eyes softening and tears streaming as she saw the three of us. With one hand over the wrapped wound, she dragged herself towards us and hardly had time to breathe before the three of us were hugging her.
“Looks like you earned some bragging rights,” Shea beamed as she cocked a brow towards the wound, smirking all the while. Another I love you.
“Yeah.” Niamh looked down at her wrapped torso and grinned. “I guess so.”
For Niamh, Killian was honest with his words. “I’m so glad you’re okay, kid.” For extra measure, he ruffled her already matted hair.
She fell against his chest a second time, hugging him tight enough to likely tear her injury further. “I never thought I’d see you again.”
The crack in her voice cracked me, too. Because she meant it.
I grabbed onto Killian’s shoulder and yanked him away from her, stealing her hug for myself as I braced her weight against me. “I’m so, so sorry Niamh. You never would have—”
“Oh, be quiet—” She smiled, tears trailing her cheek as she looked at me. “—I’d do it again. I’d do it every time.”
I finally cried, too. Because she meant that, as well.
The last to join us was Raegan.
He sauntered towards us like he had not just won a battle but like he had a successful night at a bar. Niamh met him halfway, crashing into him like a bowling ball to pins that had him cackling and hugging her, tight enough that I nearly stepped forward to warn him of her bandaging.
Then it was Shea, not a hug but two curt nods between the two of them and mischief in their eyes that spoke louder than any words ever would.
At last, Killian stood proudly in front of his Prince, one hand over his heart before he bowed.
Raegan rolled his eyes and muttered something which had Killian toppling over not from a bow but from laughter, before the two of them wrapped one another up in that brutish hug of theirs.
But even that hug lasted longer than it normally did.
When Raegan finished with his ceadan, his eyes fell on me.
There was something behind those eyes. Something confusing and enchanting, something that made my stomach churn in two different ways, something that made my knees wobble.
He walked towards me, stopping a few feet away and assessing me toe-to-hairline. Only then did he release a breath, but something remained tight in him. Something remained wound and he showed no sign of letting it go.
“I would like a moment to speak with you.”
It was spoken like a statement, but somehow it was a question. So I nodded.
Killian, Shea, Niamh, Raegan, and I all walked, slowly and quietly, back towards the castle. It was there that I assumed Raegan would say what he needed to say, which was only confirmed as his jaw tightened and released, over and over the whole walk back.
~
By the time we stepped over the threshold, not a lot of other pixies had made it back just yet. We were among some of the first, crossing through those two front doors and beginning a trek down the hallway towards the staircase.
With every step we took, voices grew louder and more powerful, nearly shaking the walls around us as whispering turned to discussion which turned to shouting. We turned the next corner, almost to the staircase, only to see a sizeable gathering at the throne room doors.
“What’s going on?” I asked no one in particular.
Raegan snapped back, his whole body a straight line as his pace picked up not towards the staircase, but to the throne room. One glance to Killian suggested that we would follow, the four of us nearly jogging to keep up with Raegan’s long paces.
Raegan pushed and shoved through the mumbling group at the doors, clearing a semi-passable path for us to follow him through.
Once in the throne room, the center of the commotion was apparent almost immediately.
Five or six pixies were all huddled around something in the midst of the room, several feet away from the throne itself.
They all looked down at whatever it was, one hand over their mouths and their faces as pale as sheets.
Raegan had hit the end of his short tether, apparently. “What is i—”
His words were cut off by his own tight gasp as the group parted, revealing what was capable of stirring up the castle.
Raegan said nothing, gave us no inclination as to what was going on, only dropped to his knees and hung his head. Only once he had resorted to that position and his height was no longer hindering our vision, did I see what was happening.
There’s an old saying. Lose the battle, win the war.
As I looked at the body on the throne room floor, I wasn’t sure whether we had lost or won, nor did I know if yesterday's fight had been the battle or the war.
Because amongst it all, while the majority of the kingdom had been away fighting, another ploy had been in motion all along.
While the people of Choilltean fought for Saoghal, the Rachainn had killed the King of Choilltean.