Chapter 20 #2
I did so, meeting the amber eyes that seemed so serious much of the time but lightened and sparkled in laughter when prompted.
‘I mean it. And it was very thoughtful of you to spend your time on it.’
‘It didn’t really take that long. I just had to…’ I drifted off as Edward began slowly raising one eyebrow.
‘You’re not great at taking compliments, are you?’
I shook my head. ‘I always find them a bit suspicious, if I’m honest.’
‘Suspicious?’
‘Yeah. You know. There must be a reason behind it.’
‘Have you ever considered the reason might be as simple as the fact that someone wishes to pay you a compliment and for that sole reason alone?’
I gave my lip another chew. ‘No. Not really.’
‘OK. Today is your first lesson.’
‘You genuinely like it?’
He smiled, the action softening his features. ‘I genuinely do.’
Good old Delia.
I sat back and let the peace of the surroundings seep into me. Edward busied himself with cutting the bread and laying out the accompaniments.
‘That’s a lot of cheese.’
‘It’s a little bit of a lot, I agree. And don’t ask me what any of them are as I don’t have a clue. Barney loves a nose around Borough Market in town and always comes back with a cheese haul.’
‘Will he mind that you’ve taken it?’
‘No. He was the one who told me to. According to my brother, the picnic I’d already packed was “sad”. It’s more effort than it’s worth to argue with him and,’ he broke off a piece of one of the cheeses, ‘this one is actually delicious.’
‘That was kind of him.’
‘Yes, in a backhanded manner.’
Edward chuckled and I joined him. The warmth of the late-spring air, together with the peace of the surroundings and the morning’s exercise, now combined to make me feel as though I could lie down and sleep the sleep of the most contented.
‘He’s bonkers about you, of course, and I think he forgets sometimes that you’re not actually going to be his sister-in-law.’
The contentment flew away like a child’s lost balloon on a gusty day.
‘No, of course.’
The stupid thing was, I didn’t want to be, not that I didn’t doubt for one moment being Barney’s sister-in-law would be lovely.
He was kind and funny and always ready for fun.
It was hard to align this man with the one Edward described him as prior to his father’s death.
But still, I didn’t need Edward reminding me every five minutes that this was just an arrangement, like I was going to swoon and fall in love with him like some fan-fic heroine.
‘You don’t have to keep reminding me of that, you know.’ My thought spilled out almost unintentionally.
‘What?’
‘That this is all fake. I do know that. You don’t need to worry.’
He frowned at me as he passed me a bone china plate with a hunk of fresh bread and selection of cheese.
‘Why would I worry?’
‘It seems like you think I might get caught up in it all and start believing it myself.’
He expelled a small huff of air. ‘No. I don’t think that at all, believe me. And I apologise if it has appeared like I do. It most certainly wasn’t intentional.’
The relaxed Edward of earlier had now morphed back into the regular, slightly starched one and I was sorry I’d said anything.
‘This is delicious!’ I said, popping in another piece of cheese. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘It’s a shame we don’t know what it’s called.’
‘Yes,’ he replied with the briefest of smiles before attending back to his own plate.
Why didn’t you just keep your mouth shut? I kicked myself mentally.
‘This is a really beautiful spot. Thanks for bringing me here.’
‘It’s a favourite place of mine.’
‘I can see why.’
The silence stretched out. I tried again.
‘Tell me about your childhood here. I can’t imagine growing up in a place that has so much history, family history at that, and all this to explore.’
Edward poured us both another glass of the lemonade, the first having disappeared quickly following our morning hike.
‘Thank you,’ I said, taking the glass back from him.
‘I was supposed to be learning about you today.’
‘And I told you some bits on the way here.’
He looked down at me. ‘The bare minimum.’
I gave a shrug. ‘My history is definitely not as interesting as yours.’
‘I disagree.’
‘You can’t.’
He looked back at me from where he’d returned to buttering more bread.
‘I can’t?’
‘No.’
He rolled his lips together, apparently supressing a smile. ‘And may I ask why not?’
‘Because you grew up with all this and I grew up moving from place to place, living in faceless, soulless, purpose-built housing. There’s no contest for which is the most interesting.’
‘In your opinion.’
‘In anyone’s opinion.’
‘Not mine.’
‘Yes, well, you’re just being awkward.’
This time, the smile escaped. ‘Is that so?’
I did my best to keep a straight face but I was more relieved than I wanted to admit to see Edward begin to relax once more.
‘It is.’
‘Well, we shall have to agree to disagree on this particular point.’ He handed over another plate. ‘Please indulge me.’
‘This is loads, Edward. I’m not going to be able to walk after this.’
‘Then I shall carry you!’ He made the best medieval-style bow and rolling hand gesture he could from his seated position on the blanket.
‘And put your back out while you do it.’
He threw his head back as he laughed. ‘Good God, woman. Do you have any romantic bones in your body?’
‘Probably not. Plenty of practical ones. They’ve served me better than romance.’
His hand grazed mine as it supported him on the blanket.
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘It is what it is. So, what do you want to know? I already gave you a brief summary.’
‘Very brief,’ he said, lining up his baguette for the best approach. ‘Even though our relationship is supposed to be whirlwind, I think I should know a little bit more. Where were you born?’
‘Hereford.’
‘Ah! See? I’ve already learnt something new. You’re a local! And you were here for how long?’
‘About five years. Then we went to Germany for several years in a couple of different areas, then back here for a couple more. Dad wasn’t always there, sometimes he was on deployment.’
‘You didn’t enjoy it?’
‘It’s how it was.’
‘That’s not what I asked.’
‘No, I didn’t. Happy now?’
He gave me a look.
‘Sorry.’ I put my plate down and pushed some strands of hair that had escaped from my very slapdash updo back from my face.
‘No,’ I said more softly. ‘I didn’t enjoy it but I feel like if I admit that, then I’m letting my parents down.
My dad down. That was his job and he was bloody good at it and went through hell at times so it feels disloyal for me to say anything that takes away from that. ’
‘Emmeline.’ Edward had now put his own plate aside.
‘It’s not disloyal to say you weren’t happy.
Yes, that was his job and I’m sure both your parents did what they could to make the best of the situation for everyone.
That doesn’t mean you have to say you enjoyed the peripatetic childhood you had if you didn’t. ’
‘I suppose.’
‘Do they know?’
‘What?’
‘That you were unhappy?’
‘I guess they saw more than they let on but I wasn’t going to moan about it. I knew it wouldn’t be forever.’
Edward said nothing but leant his shoulder against mine; the understanding and support unsaid but undeniable.