Chapter Twenty-Four
Mikayla
This is both the best and worst day ever! How can both happen simultaneously? I mean seriously! I’m about to get whiplash over here. Why can’t I just have one day where my fucking feelings and family don’t make me insane!
My head is spinning!
“Hello to you too,” I say in response to my brother.
“Mom called.”
“Of course she did.”
I laugh and look at Caine. We said that at the same time!
He smiles at me, grabs my free hand and kisses it.
So many feelings!
“Seriously?” Jack asks over the phone. “So, you guys have been together a week and are already finishing each other’s sentences?”
“There’s no right way to answer that question.”
I look out the window and see that Caine just got on the highway. He’s not… is he? I mean… that would be beyond romantic and sweet.
“Are you two together now?” Jack asks angrily.
“You’re acting like I’m dating your best friend,” I defend. “Why are you being so weird?”
“He’s older than me!” Jack yells.
“Is that supposed to mean something?” Caine asks. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-seven,” Jack answers, his voice low, but clearly annoyed, snide is more like it. Definitely snide.
“Is that supposed to be the age ceiling for dating?” Caine presses.
“Not helping,” I quip between clenched teeth.
“Sorry,” he mutters, turning his gaze back to the road.
His eyes dart to me, and he gives me this adorable pouty face like he’s all worried I’m mad at him, which I am… or trying to be… but that face! His blue eyes, his thick black lashes. The man is too cute! It’s not fair! I can’t stay mad at him.
The fucker!
I force myself to frown. He lifts my hand again and kisses it.
“Are you even listening to me?” Jack yells.
“What?”
“Were you just making out?” he accuses.
“I’m driving. Easy answer, no,” Caine says.
Now he’s being snide.
I squeeze his fingers. Hard.
“You’re making eyes at each other!”
“We are listening!” I’m over this conversation already.
“So, you’re staying in Texas?” Jack asks.
“Yes.”
Caine looks over at me, surprised. I look at him just as surprised.
“I’m hoping to find a job here.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“Hey!” Caine says defensively. “I get the big brother act, but don’t be a dick. You know she isn’t pregnant. Well, if she was, we’d have no way of knowing… right?” He looks at me, worried.
“You’re an idiot.”
He just smiles at me. The fucker! I smile back.
“Stop it!” Jack complains. “Fine. I guess I’m coming to visit.”
“Don’t sound so upset about it. It’s beautiful here. It’s perfect.”
“Are you living together?” Jack asks.
“No, I’m moving into an apartment of my own,” I tell him proudly. “And I’ll be paying rent!” I add. I look at Caine. “I’ll be paying rent, right? How much is the rent?”
“He’s making you pay rent?” Jack yells. “What kind of boyfriend makes his girlfriend pay rent?”
“The kind whose girlfriend backs him into a corner and wants to be independent,” Caine says, emphasizing independent like it’s a bad word.
“That’s stupid,” Jack says. “Why are you being stupid? I’m gonna have to pay your boyfriend rent. How is that independent?”
“I’m getting a job, asshole!” I snap. “But I may need some help until I get one, don’t disown me!” I say, immediately regretting my words. I place my hands in prayer under my chin and frown.
“You don’t need his money,” Caine says.
“What’s the car situation?” Jack asks, wisely changing the subject.
“It’s done. She needs a new one.”
“What? When were you going to tell me?” My mouth’s hanging open. How long has he known this?
“No! Today has been all over the place. Between my dad, your mom, our stupid fight and now this… no! When was I supposed to tell you?” Caine asks. He shakes his head. “Don’t act like I kept this from you on purpose,” he adds, scowling at me.
“When did you learn of this news?” I ask, bowing my head and extending my hand.
Yes, I’m being condescending. He’s right, but I have residual annoyance.
“This morning,” Caine says. “Are you done?”
“Yes,” I say, letting out the last of my bitterness.
“Y’all are weird,” Jack says.
“Y’all?” I ask with a chuckle. “Are you acclimating to the home culture?”
“Don’t sass me!” Jack yells. Then he laughs. “Ah, that was fun! But anyway, yeah, so Mom is pissed off.” He emphasizes off.
“Not Mikayla’s problem,” Caine says. “I heard the entire conversation. Mikayla doesn’t need to call her or speak to her if she doesn’t want to. End of discussion.”
The finality of his words, his complete and utter defense of me, makes my chest ache. So much so, I have to rub the space over my heart. My head spins a little. I even feel a little warm.
“You feelin’ alright, sweetheart?”
I nod.
“So that’s it with you and Mom?” Jack asks softly.
“I don’t see how we can have a relationship, Jack,” I tell him sadly.
“That means I have to deal with her alone?” he asks, but not with resentment. It’s almost fear.
“You don’t have to deal with her at all. Frankly, that woman is toxic, and neither of you should be forced to take her on,” Caine says. “Really, Jack. You’re not asking me, but after the way she spoke to Mikayla, why would you want a relationship with her? What kind of relationship do you have?”
“The kind where she makes him feel guilty, and he has to take care of her.” I roll my eyes. Hard.
“When can I visit?” Jack asks, changing the subject again.
“Whenever you want.” I shrug.
“Is that okay with Caine?” Jack asks. I can’t tell if he’s being a dick or not.
“The only person who I won’t welcome in my home is your mother,” Caine says. His voice is firm. “I won’t welcome someone into my home whose motivation is to hurt you.”
I’m fighting against myself. I’m not ready to say what I’m feeling. I’m not ready to feel what I’m feeling. I’m terrified. And I know he feels it too. I know he’s scared. Fuck, he knows I’m terrified.
I never loved Cody; I never really lusted after him either. The moment I met Caine, I was instantly attracted to him. I think a person would have to be dead not to be. The man is gorgeous. And at first, that was all this was, a crazy attraction. But it’s not that anymore.
“Fine, then I’m coming next week,” Jack says.
“Why do you say that like that? Like it’s a threat?”
“I don’t know. After that call with mom, I feel all anxious,” Jack says.
“Tell me what happened. What did she say?”
“Sweetheart, are you sure you want to know?” Caine asks.
He reaches over and clasps my hand. Is it possible to feel both comfort and passion all from one touch?
How can I possibly want him again? I’ve had more orgasms from this man in the short time we’ve been together than in the whole of my relationship with Cody!
It’s just insane how my body heats up just because he looks at me or speaks. That’s the most disconcerting thing about this. He doesn’t even have to try, and I’m turned on.
“Mikayla?” Caine asks.
“Hmm, what?” I can feel the blush rise from my chest, up my neck, heating my cheeks. I can’t recall a damn thing he just asked me! Did he ask me something? Say something?
“I think you can tell her,” Caine says with a smirk.
“She called me first this morning and yelled about how a strange man answered your phone. That you were being unsafe, stupid. Blah blah. I didn’t tell her I knew where Caine was or that I knew who you were with, though I didn’t know you’d end up in his bed, though I guess I should have considered that… ”
“Anyway…” Caine presses.
I giggle when he uses his hand as a muppet, opening and closing his hand.
“Sorry, fine. So, I calmed her down. Reminded her you were not a hoe-bag. You know, it’s so fucked up because she’s the hoe. Yet, it’s like she can’t see that,” he muses aloud.
“That’s basically what she implied when we spoke to her. Just kind of yelled at Mikayla. Made it seem like she was being irresponsible and childish. It was mind-blowing when she went after Mikayla about her ex,” Caine muses. He furrows his brow when he looks at me. “Are you upset about him?”
“Huh? No.” I laugh.
“Mikayla was waiting to end things with him. Dude was kind of a loser, lost. Clearly easy prey for Cruella,” Jack says. “But I still get grossed out that she did that.”
“I’m not upset that things ended with Cody, though I feel betrayed. I know it wasn’t love, but I thought we cared enough about each other not to do that!” I say, lifting my arm and pointing out the window as though he’s on the hood, fucking my mom.
“After she got off the phone with you, she called me yelling about how you were being manipulated by some hick who barely had a high school education and who was probably using you because he doesn’t have two pennies to rub together,” Jack mimics the sound of our mom’s voice.
“She blamed you, Caine, for keeping her daughter from her. And what is she talking about, Mikayla? She said something about not having a solid meal since you left? Said she had to hire a maid. Were you cooking and cleaning the house?”
I honestly can’t tell what he’s getting at. Is he mad I did those things or mad that I’m not doing them now?
“Baby?” Caine asks.
“I was only allowed to stay in the house if I agreed to cook and clean. Otherwise, she wanted me to pay rent,” I blurt out, feeling ashamed of myself for being so easily manipulated.
“What the…” Caine raises a hand, and I watch as his nostrils flare and his chest rises and falls. His hands ball into fists, and I jump when he punches the dash above his steering wheel.
I sit, frozen, my mouth agape as I watch him.
“What the fuck, Mikayla! Why would you keep that from me?” Jack barks.
Something bubbles up inside me at his words, the accusation in them.
“I don’t know if you recall but before this happened you were all about Mom.
‘You don’t know how to have fun, Mikayla,’ ‘Give her a break, Mikayla, she just lost her husband,’ ‘Just help her, she’s lost,’” I remind him.
My voice is clipped, but I stop when Caine’s hand settles on my knee.
I take a breath and feel the pain settle there, sitting on my chest like a boulder holding me down, taking my air. I’m exhausted.
“Mikayla,” Jack says softly. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” I choke out, and I shut my eyes because even I hear the childishness in my voice. But I can’t stop it!
They’ve been so frequent today! Unstoppable really. I open my eyes when I feel the car slowing down. Caine pulls off the highway and stops the car in a parking lot.
“I think we’ve had enough for one day, Jack,” Caine says. “She’s had enough.”
“I’m sorry,” Jack says again.
“Just give her a little break from this. Today has been a pretty rough day for her.” Caine’s voice is soft.
“Bye,” I croak out before Caine hits end on my phone.
Caine presses the release of my seat belt, lifts me up and places me on his lap.
“What’s wrong with me?” I ask. My stupid body is shaking! And the fucking tears pour down my face again.
“You’re sad. And your brother wasn’t aware, for whatever reason, of what you were going through, and you felt alone,” he says, somehow knowing exactly how I feel
“I did,” I stupidly bob my head up and down as he speaks.
I cry again. And again, he just holds me. “I’m such a mess,” I whisper.
“You’re my mess,” he reminds me, holding me closer. “I’m proud of you. I don’t think I told you, did I?”
I take a shuddered breath, and slowly, the weight stealing my oxygen lifts, and I can breathe again.
“One, you held your ground with your mom, which was incredibly painful for you. I was proud of you for sticking up for yourself, drawing that line. And two, you rode a horse today. You were terrified to get on Wind-Song, but once you got on him, you looked so natural up there, so happy.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. It gives me the confidence to look up at him.
“I’m sorry I’m ruining our day.” A stupid sob escapes my chest. I try to hide my face behind my hands, but Caine grabs them and wraps them around his neck.
“Our date hasn’t started yet.” His voice is so soft, so soothing and kind.
I tilt my head and sniff, stupid stuffy nose from crying. My head is swimming!
“You have no idea how much I care about you.”
The words… they are like a balm… sending heat from my heart outward.
I need his affection. I don’t need fancy; I don’t need gifts. I just need this.
Caine is simple, unpretentious, and kind. I don’t need anything else. I could soak him up like the sun shining on my face.
“I care about you too. More than I can say. I don’t know how; it’s so overwhelming,” I try to explain. “Please be patient with me.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.”.
I let the sadness float away and sigh into his warmth. I just need this moment. Today has been so up and down. A rollercoaster ride of emotions. Ever since I woke up, I’ve been up and down and up and down.
But now, warm arms envelop me, and I feel safe and calm.
I take a deep breath and pull back and place a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m ready to go to dinner.”
“You’re sure?” he asks, quirking a brow.
“Let’s put on some music,” I suggest. “How much longer is the drive?” I ask once we pull back onto the highway.
“We should get there by seven,” Caine says, clearing his throat.
My finger hovers over the playlist I was about the select, and I turn to look at him. “Did you just say seven?”
My eyes roam to the clock on the dash. It’s just after one in the afternoon. Why is this just now registering in my brain?
“Yep,” he says, nodding his head, not looking at me.
I smile. I was right! I was right! And I’m so excited! I bounce in my seat; I’m so thrilled.