Chapter 32
Breezy
“All right, what’s going on? Two hours ago, I left a quiet house to get my nails done, and now I come home to some Fyre Festival-level disaster with black eyes, bloody knuckles, a screaming baby, and you throwing up into my trash can.”
Norah’s voice is pitched somewhere between disbelief and mom-level authority. She bounces and rocks Autumn on her hip with my niece’s sweet head tucked under her chin, and tears spring to my eyes against my will.
“I don’t even know where to begin. Logan just showed up here.
You know how complicated shit is with Logan and me.
And you know how much Bennett hates him…
” I pause, not even sure where to start, because honestly, I don’t really know what the hell is happening with me or the Three Violent Stooges out back.
“So, Logan showed up, and Bennett lost his shit,” Norah repeats, trying to understand it all herself. “And where exactly does Tad Hanson throwing punches come into that equation?”
“He busted through the door out of nowhere,” I say, trying to swallow back the onslaught of tears that want to escape. But when my throat clenches with emotion, I hold my breath to calm myself, even swiping at my eyes with my shirt.
It doesn’t help. They spill over before I can catch them, hot and humiliating, and a sob bubbles up from my throat.
“Breezy?” Norah asks, horrified, her eyes wide and confused over my sudden emotional outburst.
“Bee sad!” Autumn says. “Okay, Bee?”
I nod, even though I am sad. But I don’t fucking know why I’m sad. Or this insanely emotional. Or dizzy. Or puking like some woman who…
The wheels of my brain cells start spinning a tune that’s straight-up horrifying in its chorus.
Oh God. I’m not pre—
Another sob bubbles up from my throat before I can even think the word.
“Bee is sad, but she’ll be okay,” Norah reassures, but when her eyes land on me again, her expression is still one of shock and dismay before realization starts to set in.
“Breezy?” My name is tight with question, and I know without even having to investigate further, she knows what I’m beginning to fear the most.
“Are you…? How could you be—?”
I cut her off quickly with a shush, nodding to the toddler in her arms whose favorite pastime these days is repeating everything she hears.
Norah squeezes Autumn in a quick hug and then hustles toward the porch door, opening it just enough to place her daughter down gently and yell at Bennett across the yard. “Ben! Come get your daughter. And please, if you would, watch her responsibly this time.”
It’s a burn as cold as ice, and I’m unavoidably filled with pride at the sound of it. My sweet little Norah, who was a people-pleasing sweetheart when she found my brother tearing his own life apart, has developed a spine of steel. I love to see it.
The handoff goes smoothly, and Bennett is smart enough to tell her he’s sorry for being such an asshole. Norah sort of accepts the apology but mostly shoos him back out the door and on his way with Autumn on his hip now.
“Okay,” she says as the door slams closed behind her, rushing toward the table and sliding into the chair across from mine without delay.
“The little ears are gone, so you’d better get talking.
I don’t want to assume anything crazy, but I walked in to you puking in my trash can.
And now, you’re hanging on by a thread of tears… ”
I shake my head, as if I can will away the possibility.
“Breezy,” Norah says and puts both hands on my shoulders. “I’m not a doctor, but you’re acting a lot like a woman who is…” she drops her voice to a whisper “…pregnant.”
And there it is. The word my mind is shouting inside my brain, but I’m trying not to acknowledge.
The word that makes the most sense for my current state of absurdity but would be the biggest mindfuck of all.
The word that has me mentally calculating, When’s the last time I had my period? And When’s the last time I had unprotected sex?
Sadly, I can’t even remember the answer to the first, and the second? Well, let’s just say Tad and I haven’t been the best about using condoms. Frankly, I don’t know if we’ve used one since the first time we forgot about one. And that was weeks and a lot of sex ago.
I’m on birth control, but anyone with a brain knows it’s not an ironclad prevention. It’s why they tell you to use condoms too.
“Breezy, are you pregnant?” Norah whispers the word again.
And sadly, I can’t tell her no in this scenario and actually believe it. Instead, I sigh. Hard. “It’s sure looking like a possibility,” I say, and a laugh that’s dangerously close to a wail escapes my lungs. “Though I imagine I can’t know for sure without a test.”
“Okay, but how? With who?”
I gesture toward the group of hoodlums outside, my eyes widening and my hands tossing up with dramatic effect. “Well, it’s not one of my brothers, so I’m pretty sure it’s the third freaking troublemaker, Rocky Balboa himself out there.”
“Farmer Tad?” she shrieks loudly enough that I wave both of my hands aggressively, suggesting she lower her volume by about thirty decibels.
“Norah! Only the screen is closed!”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I just can’t believe you might be pregnant.
With child. With Tad Hanson’s child.” She’s whispering again.
“I knew you two were spending a lot of time together, and I certainly had my suspicions about you helping out on his farm. I thought maybe you were messing around with him, but I didn’t think you were over there getting pregnant! ”
“Yeah, well…” I burst into tears. “You’re not the only one!”
“Oh, Breeze…” Norah’s hand shoots forward, covering mine and squeezing. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“It doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay, Norah. I’m lost. Wandering. Completely freaking untethered from everything I’ve ever used to guide me. And now…this. I mean, what if I’m really freaking pregnant with Farmer Tad’s baby?”
Norah snorts. “I just have to know… Do you call him that in bed?”
“Norah!” I chastise, even though the teasing nickname Farm Daddy comes to mind a little too quickly for the grave nature of the situation.
“Okay, okay. You’re right. No sex jokes allowed right now. Instead, we’re going to drive over to Molene, get a pregnancy test, and take it in the supermarket bathroom. After that, we’ll make a plan based on the results.”
“Do we really have to take it in the supermarket bathroom? That seems a little…uncouth.”
“Your city is showing,” Norah says through a laugh, standing from the table and grabbing her purse and keys from the countertop by the fridge.
I guess she ditched them there when she walked in on Celebrity Death Match in action.
“But we can drive to Josie’s and take it there if you prefer.
Clay will be at the bar to open up with Marty, so we’ll have privacy. ”
I don’t move, clinging desperately to the table instead. “What if we don’t and say we did?”
“Come on, Breeze, don’t go soft on me now. Time to woman up.”
“I’m scared, Norah.” The words are as quiet as air.
“Oh honey, I know. But I promise…scary as it is—and it is terrifying—being a mother is the best thing that could ever happen to you.”
I nod. “Let me go brush my teeth really quickly.”
Norah nods. “Take your time. We’ll go whenever you’re ready.”
“Funny thing about being ready when it comes to this—I don’t know if I’ll ever be.”
Norah’s wink is comforting in the strangest way. I can’t explain it, but it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt. “Then, honey…you’re right on schedule.”