Chapter 49
Breezy
Fingers in Tad’s brown hair and thumb at his pink, tear-drenched lips, I fall into the comfort of his warm eyes and let his words wash over me.
His unbearable grief, his willingly shared love—his declaration that I, somehow, have given him the will to live out loud again.
I don’t feel worthy of the crowning, but I know with every shred of my being I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to live up to it.
Because for as much as Tad thinks I’ve saved him, he’s saved me.
I was whirring through life with little to no regard for any of the parts of it that truly mean something. Love, purpose, joy—I gave them all up for success.
“I don’t know that I’ll ever find the words to express how much it means to me that I’m able to give you your life back.
” I cup his cheek in the palm of my hand, and he leans into it.
“The words to express my gratitude for you sharing this giant piece of yourself with me—for trusting me with it. The words to tell you just how much I hope Abigail and Lucy and Summer have somehow found company with one another in heaven until the rest of us get there.”
My voice shakes as tears steal its steadiness, but I keep going.
“But Tad, I will spend all of my days trying to find them. I will spend all of my days telling you I love you, thanking Abigail and Lucy for sending you to me, and finding the absolute joy in the privilege of being with you. Because you saved my life too, and baby, I don’t just mean today.”
His lips find my knuckles and then my arm and my cheek and my lips, and then we’re kissing, deep and slow and so soul-exposing, I’d feel it in another universe.
“I love you,” I whisper, breathless and desperate to say it again as soon as he pulls back enough to let me.
“I love you too.”
Pulling gently at his biceps, I direct him up and into the bed with me until we’re hip-to-hip and head-to-head. He intertwines our fingers, rubbing at the backs of my knuckles with the other hand.
“So, from fireman to…sheep farmer?”
He chuckles, a soft sadness metering the tone. “I needed something as far away from my old life as I could think of.”
“And Randy?”
“Left his whole damn life and career in Chicago…” He pauses, shaking his head, and his hair rubs against the side of my cheek.
“To follow me to Red Bridge and face the consequences of his actions…saving my life when I didn’t want it saved.
” Glancing around, he surveys the room. “Speaking of…where is everyone? Don’t get me wrong.
I needed this time with you, but I can’t believe our families willingly gave it. ”
“Yeah,” I say, “They…didn’t.”
He sits up, turning to face me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, they were all here. Randy, Ben, Norah, Logan, Josie, Clay, Pete, Sheila…hell, half the town was here, so much so the doctors were getting touchy. But then…Eileen showed up.”
“You’re kidding. After everything she—”
“Wait. There’s more.” I grimace. “Tad, Eileen had a heart attack.”
“What?”
I nod. “She showed up here, and everyone assumed, naturally, that she’d heard about the fire and was coming to capitalize on our suffering and anxieties.
Josie got into her immediately—I didn’t hear everything since it happened out by the main entrance, but I know it wasn’t good.
But Eileen’s niece came running in not long after, and…
baby, Eileen got so upset when she heard about you and the house, she started having chest pains.
She came here to get checked out. I haven’t heard an update in a little while, but they said she had a heart attack. ”
“Shit. That’s horrible.”
“I know. Bennett promised he’d come back as soon as they knew something definitive.”
He studies me, worry creasing his face. “And what about you? What are the doctors saying? When I found you, you were unconscious.”
“I passed out,” I admit softly. “After we fought and you left, I took a bath to calm down, but I hadn’t eaten the burger you brought me.
” I cringe at my own stupidity. “Hadn’t really eaten much all day, honestly, and when I hopped out of the bath to get my phone from the guestroom, I never made it there.
The doctors said the heat of the bath, mixed with not eating and the diversion of blood flow to the baby, is enough to explain why I passed out on the way there.
” I shake my head. “I…I didn’t even know the house was on fire until I got here and they told me,” I admit.
“Tad, I’m so sorry. I think…I think I left the woodstove open and that’s probably what started it, and—”
“Breeze, it’s okay,” he comforts, and his voice is all warmth and ache and makes a ball of emotion clog my throat. “It’s okay.”
A few tears fall down my cheeks. “But the clothes. The photos. They’re Abigail’s and Lucy’s, right?”
He nods, quiet but certain.
And I start to cry. “I’m so sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He pulls me back into his arms and hugs me against his chest. “All that matters to me is that you, and the baby, are okay.”
“I am. And our baby is.” I sniffle, trying to steady myself. “The doctor did an ultrasound to check. Heartbeat was strong and everything,” I update, and a new wave of tears threatens to spring to my eyes just thinking about the relief I felt when hearing our little baby’s heartbeat on the monitor.
“Thank God.” His shoulders drop with relief, and he presses a kiss to my forehead before rubbing a gentle hand over my belly. “Thank God. You’re both okay.”
“They have me on a little oxygen to be safe and something called a bronchodilator,” I add.
“Randy said the doctor told him they’re doing the same for you, as well as an antibiotic and corticosteroids because your inflammation is so bad.
They’re keeping us both overnight, but if our oxygen levels are okay tomorrow, we can go home. Or…well, somewhere.”
“Ha. Yeah. I’m sure Randy will let us crash with him for a little while.”
“You’re sure Randy will do what?” Tad’s brother asks, walking in our room at just the right time with Norah, Bennett, Autumn, and Logan all trailing behind him.
“Let us stay with you until we have a house again,” Tad repeats, doubling down.
“Of course.”
“You can stay with us too!”
“Good, our house is full.”
The first is from Randy, the second from Norah, and the third, of course, from Bennett.
Logan chuckles, pushing through the crowd until he makes it to the bed, leaning down to pull me into his arms. “Don’t worry, Breeze.
I’m not welcome either.” It’s a long, slow hug, filled with weeks of regret and a simple conclusion that family, even at the tense times, is what matters the most. I pat him on the back and then the cheek, working my lip with my teeth when a sheen exposes the waiting tears in his normally cocky eyes.
As he pulls back, I touch his cheek, whispering. “We’ll talk, okay?”
Bennett steps forward for a hug too, followed by Norah and Autumn, and then finally Randy. Tad waves them all off, and I can’t help but roll my eyes with a laugh.
“Too manly for hugs, huh?”
“No,” Tad disagrees easily. “Too naked. I’ll hug you all tomorrow, when I’m not in this gown.”
It’s a much-needed moment of levity, but the nagging unknown of Eileen’s condition brings it to a swift end.
“How’s Eileen, Ben?” I ask. Bennett and Norah share a look before he replies.
“She’s doing okay. Shaken up. Wrung out. Doc said it was a minor heart attack. Josie’s actually still with her and says she’s going to stay for a while to keep her niece company. Eileen says…well, she says she’s retiring, but I don’t think any of us will believe that until we see it.”
“Retiring? Who the hell’s gonna run the paper, then?” Tad interjects.
“Her niece, I guess,” Randy answers with a shrug. “That’s supposedly why she’s here in the first place. Eileen said she would have been done a while ago, but she liked having lunch with you every week.”
Tad’s response makes my heart squeeze. “We can still have lunch every week. Tell her that, okay?”
I get unexpectedly teary, and Tad pulls me into a hug that buries my face in his chest. From behind me, I can hear Bennett taking charge.
“Okay, guys, let’s get out of their hair for now. Breeze, Tad, if you need anything, you call. We’ll check back on you tomorrow.”
Pulling it together quickly, I turn and waggle my hands to get hugs from Autumn and Norah and Bennett and Logan and even Randy again. Tad waves them off once more, which results in a trail of laughter as they leave the room.
His look is sly as he cups my face in his hand. “For clarification, babe…the naked thing? Not an issue when it comes to you.”
Oh yeah. I’m in love. I’m in love in a big, big way.