IRIS
The atmosphere in the cabin is tense after Sol’s declaration that no one is allowed to go into town. Violet is angry (at me, not Sol, of course), Lily is stressed, and the rest of us grow irritable as the food supply dwindles.
Sol is quieter than usual. He holds fewer Growth Sessions, and he stops frequently to look out the front window, as if anticipating the arrival of another cop car at any moment.
Poppy seems to be the most affected by the tension, so it doesn’t surprise me when she takes it upon herself one night to try and cheer everyone up.
She volunteers to make dinner, which mostly consists of carefully rationed portions of canned chili.
When we’ve all finished eating, Lily offers to clean up while Poppy ushers us all into the living room.
“Y’all sit down,” she says, shoving me toward the couch. “We’re gonna play some games.”
“Games?” Rose asks. “Like board games? Oh, do not let me play Monopoly with any of you. You’ll hate me forever after that.”
“We ain’t got any board games here,” Violet says, scowling at Poppy. “They’re a waste of time. And so is this.” She starts to move toward the hall, but Poppy catches her arm.
“Wait. Give it a chance,” she pleads. “It’ll be fun. And, uh, bring us closer. We’re a stronger garden when we grow together, right, Sol?” She turns her dark eyes on Sol, who is sitting at the opposite end of the couch from me.
He chuckles. It’s a small sound, but it’s the most humor we’ve heard from him in nearly a week, and it seems to ease the pressure in the room—even if only by a fraction—instantly.
“A slightly clumsy metaphor, but I’ve been known to do worse,” he says.
“Come on, Violet. Let’s see what Poppy has in mind. ”
Violet sighs, but she won’t argue with Sol. She walks over to the fireplace and sits on the floor, staring at us all with cold eyes, as if challenging us to entertain her.
Poppy claps her hands together. “All right, then!” she says. “Let’s start with charades.”
We spend the next couple of hours playing charades, until everyone gets tired of Rose winning.
Turns out, she’s as competitive at charades as she warned she’d be at Monopoly.
But when the game has grown stale, Lily brings out Sol’s guitar and hands it to him, encouraging him to play some music.
After a few half-hearted denials, he finally agrees and begins to strum.
It isn’t long before Zinnia has grabbed Lily by the hand, pulling her to the center of the room so that they can dance together to the music, both girls twirling and laughing.
I watch from my place on the couch, smiling as Poppy joins them.
They are all so beautiful with the firelight glimmering off their hair and skin.
They look weightless and free. Even Sol is laughing as he continues to play his guitar, setting a slightly faster rhythm and tapping his foot to give everyone something to dance to.
For a moment, it’s easy to forget the tension we’ve been soaking in. To ignore the dull ache of hunger or the haze of exhaustion. To remember part of what makes our life here in the hollow so magical.
“Wanna dance?”
I look over and see Rose standing next to the couch, red lips stretched into a grin as she offers me a pale hand. I stare at her long fingers for a moment, spotting all the new calluses from the hours of daily chores. Then my gaze travels up to her face, settling on those bright green eyes.
My stomach tightens for reasons that have nothing to do with how little I’ve eaten in recent days.
I consider saying no. Not because I don’t want to—I desperately want to dance with Rose—but because I can hear Sol’s awkward warning about dating buzzing like a fly in my ears. Nothing can happen between us, no matter how red her lips are or how that raspy voice makes me shiver.
Then again, the other girls are dancing. So it’s probably fine. As long as it’s just dancing, there’s nothing wrong with that, right?
Finally, I manage to nod as I reach up and take her hand, allowing Rose to pull me to my feet. She draws me to the center of the room so that we are dancing together, surrounded by the other girls.
“You’re a good dancer,” I tell her as she spins me around. She seems so comfortable taking the lead, guiding me smoothly in circles. “Did you take classes or something?”
Rose tosses her head back as she laughs. “Oh God, no. No one in my family ever would’ve paid for anything like that. I just watched Dirty Dancing over and over and forced my friends in middle school to memorize the dances with me.”
I grin at her. “I love that movie.”
“Everyone loves that movie,” she points out. “I mean, it’s super old, but I think it holds up.”
“Which part did you memorize? The Patrick Swayze parts or the Jennifer Grey parts?”
Rose scoffs. “Both, obviously.” She twirls me again. “But I got more practice doing the Swayze part of the dance because none of my friends wanted to be the boy.”
“Did you do the lift?”
“Yep.”
“Think you can still do it?” I ask as a wonderful and terrible idea occurs to me.
She raises an eyebrow at me. “I feel like you’re about to challenge me to do it.”
“Good guess.” I let go of her hand and take several steps back. Around us, the other girls have stopped dancing and are scooting away, giving us space to attempt this. “Ready?” I ask.
“I just want it known that you are risking your life, and I cannot be blamed if I mess this up,” Rose says. “I haven’t done this since I was thirteen. But yeah, sure, I guess I’m ready.”
I do a little shimmy to the beat Sol is strumming on his guitar before taking a breath and running toward Rose. She catches me by the waist and lifts. I’m almost shocked when my feet actually leave the ground.
Wow, she’s way stronger than she looks, I think as she manages to lift me over her head.
I stretch out my arms and legs, trying to remember the pose from the movie I haven’t seen in years.
I must get it at least mostly right, because I hear Sol laugh before he switches to playing “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.
” Around us, Zinnia cackles while Poppy and Lily cheer.
But Rose has barely had me in the air for two seconds before she begins to wobble.
I yelp as she stumbles back, fully expecting us to go toppling headlong into the fireplace.
But she manages to drop me to my feet with a tiny bit of grace.
Just enough so that neither of us ends up face-first on the cabin floor.
“Not bad,” I say, smiling as Rose reaches to put her hands on my hips and mine go to rest on her shoulders. “And after wrecking us at charades tonight, too? Is there anything you’re bad at?”
“Absolutely,” she says. “I mean, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’m sure there’s something.”
I laugh, and the smile that lights her face is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen.
The others have started dancing again. I can hear Zinnia begging Poppy to try and lift her. But they feel like they’re miles away. Standing this close to Rose, our bodies swaying in time with each other, our eyes locked on one another’s, it’s as if we are the only ones in the room.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“For what? Making me do that lift?” she asks. “Don’t apologize. If anything, I should be thanking you for giving me the opportunity to impress you.”
I feel the heat rising into my cheeks, and I have to look away from her pretty green eyes so that I don’t combust right there in the middle of the living room.
You can’t like her, I remind myself. She’s supposed to be like a sister to you.
But nothing about the way Rose makes me feel is sisterly.
“No, I mean … I’m sorry we’re in this situation. Without much food and stuff. It’s my fault,” I explain. “If I hadn’t gotten caught shoplifting—”
“Then someone else probably would have eventually,” she says.
I look up just in time to see her shrug.
The hands on my hips pull me a little closer, and I have to be careful not to step on her toes.
“Look, I’m not thrilled about being hungry.
It’s frustrating. But I don’t blame you for it, Iris.
I don’t even really blame this Brophy guy you all keep talking about.
I’m sure he thought sending the cops to check on you was the right thing to do. ”
“I think so, too,” I admit. “But it still sucks.”
“It does,” she agrees. “But I think we’ve all been through some suck in our lives. We can handle it. So don’t apologize to me. Hopefully Sol’s working on some plan. Some way to get food that doesn’t involve stealing.”
“Maybe he and Violet will have some luck hunting tomorrow,” I say. And then, with a teasing smirk, I add, “And you can help skin the deer again.”
Rose wrinkles her nose. “Ugh. I mean, I will if I have to, but … ugh.”
I’m not sure how long we keep dancing like that. I’m not really aware of much besides the way her hands burn like brands on my hips. Or how soft her long black hair feels as it brushes over my knuckles, where my hands rest on her shoulders. Like a curtain of silk framing her moon-pale face.
We dance until, one by one, the other girls file off to bed. Until Sol finally stops playing the guitar and we break apart to wish him a good night.
“You girls sleep well,” he says. “And, Rose, if you’re strong enough to pick up Iris like that, maybe you ought to come out and help me chop wood sometime. You ever used an ax before?”
“No, sir.”
Sol waves a hand. “Oh, come on, now. You know better than that. It’s Sol, not sir. We’re family here, after all.”
Maybe I’m imagining it, but the way he says family feels pointed, like he’s reminding me, not her, of this fact.
“But in that case,” he continues, “I’ll teach you how to swing one. Could be fun.”
“Sounds great.”
My eyes move past Sol and Rose to linger on the only other girl still awake.
Violet.
She’s standing in the hallway that leads to the two main bedrooms. Her icy-blue eyes are narrowed, darting between Rose and me. A frown—even more pronounced than usual—pulls at her mouth.
Sol walks over to her, putting an arm around her shoulders and turning her to face the other way down the hall. “Good night,” he says before the two of them disappear into the shadows.
“’Night!” Rose calls.
I say nothing, though. Violet’s look leaves a mix of dread and guilt to settle in my empty stomach. I’m sure she could read my mind, see all the thoughts I’ve had about Rose tonight. Despite the fact that nothing has happened between us, I already feel like I’ve broken the rules.
My anxiety is only tamped down slightly when I feel Rose give my shoulder a shake. “Iris? You all right?”
“Huh? Yeah, sorry.” I try to be subtle as I put a bit of space between us. “Were you saying something?”
She purses her painted lips. But after a brief hesitation, she just says, “Come on. Let’s get to bed. It’s late, and you know we’re gonna have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn.”
I do manage to chuckle at this. “You’re still not used to getting up early?”
“Nope,” she says. “And never will be. Now come on.”
I follow Rose up the stairs and try to tell myself that whatever that look Violet was giving us was about, there’s no way she could actually know how I feel about Rose.
It’s probably nothing I need to be worried about.
That’s just her face. Just how she is. The sharp bite of her glare doesn’t mean anything.
But some deep instinct within me—intuition, maybe—tells me that Violet hadn’t liked something she saw when she looked at us. That maybe she’s right to be suspicious. And that soon enough, she will make it my problem.