Chapter Sixteen #2
His mother smiled and ’twas like the sun bursting through the storm-filled clouds.
Ismay Cameron was a truly breathtaking woman, with smooth, pale skin, and eyes with the gleam of lightning.
If only for his raven hair, Ealar shared her ethereal beauty.
Logan was far more masculine in appearance; broader, with a chiseled jaw, and more purpose and determination in his dark gaze.
The Lochiel of Lochaber must be a handsome man indeed if Logan resembled him.
“Aye,” his mother agreed, sitting back and eyeing Elspeth over the rim of her cup.
“Logan isna like other men. Like his father, he is a warrior with honor. He dedicated his life to protecting his king. But he was captured and beaten and stabbed by yer father and his men. I truly am sorry yer family perished, Miss Woodburn. The Lochiel and I think ’tis disgraceful all the Covenanters that have been massacred.
Logan also didna want to fight that war, but he was bound to the king.
I dinna know the details, but I know my son and I know he was too weak to burn doun yer home or kill yer kin.
He would also, under nae circumstance, ever hurt a woman—that being yer mother.
“Logan isna the man ye expected because he isna that man.”
Elspeth didna know Logan as well as she liked to believe, but she was also sure he wouldna hurt a woman.
“I know ye speak true, my lady. He has shown me nothing but kindness.”
His mother nodded. “He is kind to many. We often say he is too kind fer this world.”
Elspeth’s heart thrashed as if to escape its prison and fly free into Logan Cameron’s arms. She had found him. She had found the man with a good heart. A savage with the heart of compassion.
Och! Why him? Why? Instantly, tears formed and fell down her face.
“What is it, child?” his mother asked.
Aye, she was his mother, but no one had called her child in what felt like a lifetime. She let out a little, mortifying sob and looked away. “Fergive me.”
“Fer weeping? Of course. But tell me, why do ye weep so? Did my son do something—”
“Och, nae. Nae, my lady.” She sniffed. “’Tis my father. He used to tell me I was too compassionate fer this harsh world. It makes us not so different after all.” And then ye called me, child. She thought the last without speaking it. It exposed too much of her.
The Lochiel’s wife sat up. She didn’t speak at all but just stared at Elspeth. Finally, she set down her cup.
“He told me he cares fer ye.”
Elspeth didn’t know whether to rejoice or apologize. She did neither, but she could not stop her hands from shaking in her lap.
“That means he trusts ye,” his mother went on, “I can understand how he does. With those huge, haunting eyes, ye are most believable. But ye willna be so easily trusted by me. My father used to tell me the best way to trust a man is if he keeps his word. That applies to lasses, as well. Will ye give me yer word no’ to harm my son? ”
“Aye.”
Ismay Cameron raised a red brow at her. “Nae hesitation at all?”
“Nae, my lady, none.”
“Am I to believe ye share his sentiments?”
Instead of giving her a direct answer, Elspeth fought with every ounce of strength she had in her not to cringe at the merciful command Ismay Cameron possessed.
“My lady, ’tis hard fer me to admit. I am a failure to my family’s memory.”
“Mayhap yer family would prefer ye to be refilled with the abundance of love rather than live with the hardship of hatred.”
Aye, Elspeth thought, her father and mother would. Was Lady Cameron approving of Logan and—was she?
“Mayhap ye are correct,” Elspeth allowed. “But it doesna matter. He hasna asked me, and even if he did, we dinna have his kin’s approval.”
“Nae, ye dinna have it. And he willna go against his father and marry ye if my husband disapproves.”
“I am a Covenantor’s daughter. The Covenanter who stabbed and maimed his son. He will never approve.”
Ismay MacPherson’s lips snaked into a smile. “Miss Woodburn, ’tis my approval ye must seek. My husband will do whatever it takes to make me happy.”
“My, that says much about ye, lady. To subdue a heart such as his means ye are a formidable warrior.”
Logan’s mother laughed, covering her mouth with her dainty hand. “Ye are better at silvery words than my son Ealar.”
Elspeth didn’t take offense that her words were called into question for insincerity. The Camerons did not know anything about her, whether she was sincere or not. For Logan’s sake, she would not kill them.
Elspeth spread her gaze over her hostess. “May I ask why ye dinna stay here in this house instead of the castle?”
“Child, we would love nothing more than to live here all the time, but Constantine is still Lochiel. He has many duties to see to every day. One day, though, we will settle here. What about ye? Have ye and Logan spoken about where ye will go?”
Meaning, ye are not thinking of staying here, are ye? Och, the Lady of Lochaber did not say it precisely, but Elspeth understood well enough. She swallowed her heart that was so foolishly ready to welcome folks into her life.
“Yer son said he would help me find a place to go.”
His mother eyed her narrowly. “He is willing to let ye leave? Odd. He didna sound like that when I spoke to him. As a matter of fact, he grew positively irate when I mentioned yer leaving here.” Her gaze grew warmer and her smile softened. “Are ye telling me what ye think I wish to hear?”
Elspeth shook her head. “I am telling ye what I need to hear.” Aye, ’twas what he’d first promised her. But he no longer wanted her to go.
Stay here with me.
She wanted to, but how could she want to live with a Cameron?
She had changed since Ewen brought her here.
She liked his cousins, even Steafan. The shame of her fondness toward them was no one else’s but hers.
The thought of forgiving them, of letting everything go, felt as if she were losing her family all over again.
Once, not too long ago, it would have been all that mattered. But now, the thought of losing Logan vied for her heart and soul.
Och, but somewhere in the deepest chasm of her heart, hatred afflicted her, not just for the Camerons, but for herself, as well.
And now, worst of all, she felt herself reaching for this motherly woman, while the memory of her own mother threatened to fade.
“Ye need not worry, my lady,” she promised in a shaky voice, “If yer son will not allow me to leave, I will run away. I know I am not good enough fer him. I willna cling to him but break away fer my family’s sake.”
She rose from her seat to leave. What was there left to talk about?
“Miss Woodburn, have ye ever run away from a place before?”
Elspeth turned to her. Was Logan’s mother mocking her?
“I have,” Ismay Cameron told her. “I escaped my stepmother and my betrothed and ran on foot fer far longer than I planned. Running was treacherous and exhausting. My hair had been cut off by a man. ’Twas not as short as yers—” Her eyes crinkled with light humor at what the both of them had in common.
“But I used it to disguise myself as a lad, and even still, every man I came across wished to harm me. All but one.”
Elspeth swiped her cheeks to clear them of tears. What was his mother telling her? “Why are ye telling me this?”
“Sit down, child.”
Elspeth obeyed. When she did, Ismay MacPherson began.
“I am telling ye because ye seem to be under the impression that ye are not good enough fer my son. I dinna care fer that kind of dishonorable opinion of yerself. Ye were someone’s daughter, good enough fer their love.
What has changed since then? Have ye killed anyone?
Done anything that would make ye unworthy? Nae? Then rid yerself of that untruth.
“As fer doing things fer the sake of yer family, I understand the desire to avenge them. But ’twill cost ye yer life, here and in the hereafter.”
Elspeth wiped her eyes heedlessly and began to hiccup. Logan spoke like his mother; his voice laced with kindness.
“Live yer life well, child. Make yer family proud if they were here with ye. But because they are not, live with the memory of the love they had fer ye, and stop tainting it with hatred.”
Elspeth sat still in her chair. At this point, she stopped wiping her tears and let them flow. Ismay’s words smashed the last of her guard against the Camerons to pieces. Could she do it? Could she stop being angry and vengeful and let her family’s love for her lead her?
“I will try, my lady.” Elspeth sniffed, then rose when Ismay did.
“One other thing,” Logan’s mother stopped on her way to the front door and turned to her. “Ye said I need not worry about ye staying here with my son.” She smiled and lifted her fingers to Elspeth’s short hair. “I would have ye know, I am not worried.”